Anyhow, the food thing bothered me, I have had incredible control over what I ate in the past year and the last little while it was like I had given into food again. So I took a very hard look at myself and asked myself questions, why was I sabotaging all my hard work? I thought about it for a few days and I realized I was a little afraid of succeeding. I know, silly right? However; losing the weight has brought up a few things.
What I ended up telling myself is that I worked very hard for the last year of my life and I am not going to let a little rejection push me back to food again. I have decided that when or if it happens in the future that I am going to find another way to deal with it. Something changed with me immediately, like a light flicked on , I started walking more and I am eating within my calorie limit... I feel good. I am making the decision now to do this tomorrow and the next day.
I am grateful that I asked myself that question and that I really took the time to think about it. I've chosen to give myself that break that I am more than willing to give to other people. I feel like that day I first started last year, I was focused, I had a goal and nothing took my eye off it... I feel like that now. I took my focus off the goal but I have it back. It really is just making a decision and not letting anything get in the way... not even self sabotage.
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