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We Can Be Healed From Our Brokenness




It's been a very long time since I have sat down at my computer to write, I am not even sure why it has taken so long, I think constantly about writing but I had difficulty putting my thoughts into words. I keep thinking about how I have been holding onto anger and disappointment for a long time, I haven't been angry at anyone, more angry with my situation. It leaves me feeling guilty because I am well aware that there are people handling things much more difficult in life than I am. 

I guess I thought my life was headed in another direction, I had worked so hard to be healthy so that I could eventually travel and see all the places I have desired to see. Instead I am semi trapped in my home without the ability to leave when I want to, I have to plan a trip out to the store or the doctors and hope that I can handle it until I can make it home. I am forever grateful that I can work from home, I think about how much worse it could be for me if I wasn't blessed in that way. I count my blessings daily because I know deep down how lucky I am.
I remembered a talk that was given by a member of my church many years ago about how although we may be broken in many ways, physically with our bodies, emotionally with our hearts and often our minds.... these are tests and trials we have to deal with to grow. Growth is never easy, if it was was we wouldn't appreciate it, we would believe it was simple ... I remember when I was in my 20's and my baby sister was dealing with an abusive relationship, you know what I thought... she just needs to leave... I had no empathy.  I was almost angry that she stayed in that situation for as long as she did... Then I met Andrey and I grew to understand how come she stayed... I gained empathy and I knew it was incredibly strong of her to finally leave. With the empathy I gained, I too found the strength to leave. 

Sometimes life throws us curves, ones we don't understand why we have to deal with them... we shut down, hold on to anger, close people out because we feel like no one would understand... we think that people will just say grow up, deal with it... someone has it harder than you do... when all that we need is kindness, empathy and love.  We are all dealing with trials or tests that seem so unbearable we are sure we won't make it through to the other side and once we do, we gain knowledge that we never would have gained without going through it. It's not easy, it's tougher than we know but ultimately what we gain is so much more than what the trial was... 
I think about my mom and dad losing their daughter Kimberly at such a young age, she was a little over three... it nearly destroyed them but my mother came through it stronger and knowing that she would see Kimberly again one day... my father instead was an alcoholic and drug addicted, doing everything he could not to deal with the loss ... he was sad and broken, it took me years to see that, I used to think, why doesn't he just get it together... he didn't know how... I believe both my parents have seen Kimmy once they passed on... 

What all this makes me think about is do I want to live my life, sad... angry... disappointed because it doesn't seem like my life is turning out the way I had hoped and planned? Or do I want to remember that although I feel broken in many ways, I can be healed and still find wonderful things to be happy about and feel blessed for... I may not travel the way I had hoped but I can take the time to know people from those places and learn about their heritage... I am so much more blessed then I tend to remember. Although I have had trials and tests that broke me at times, I have found the meaning and healed .... we can all be healed from our brokenness...
 

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38 comments :

  1. Oh Launna.... you are so right, as so many times before. This life of ours is journey, and sometimes when we think that yes, this is what we want..life gives something else. Learning, healing and enjoying..all that again. That´s what I have learned so far... so so happy to hear about you <3 Missed you a lot! And you know...missing my old blog, too....

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  2. Another powerful post and a reminder that our lives are shaped by the things we've experienced, and there is eventual healing. Let's dance Lovely Launna! Hugs..and thrilled to hear from you! RO

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  3. I wish I had wise words that could help. When you read my words, you would say, "Well of course, I should have thought of that." And then go on to happiness that awaits. But there are no words to help you navigate these waters. The answers are inside you.
    We've missed you.

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  4. Dearest Launna,

    I'm so glad to see a new post from you. I had continued to visit to see if anything new had appeared. I wondered about you at various times. I'm sorry to hear that things have been tough and you've struggled to make sense of it at times.

    I didn't know about your sister Kimmy. I was touched to hear about her, and how your parents each dealt with the loss.

    I just wish and hope that things get better for you. You write very beautifully always and I really liked your thoughtful blog post.

    Lots of love Saba xx

    www.trulymadlydeeplyfashion.blogspot.com

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  5. Launna, I'm so glad to see you writing again. I'm sorry that you've been having a hard time, and I hope that getting back to writing will help. Never feel bad for sharing your problems - we may all have things going on, but it doesn't make them less valid. Hang in there, and keep writing, you do it so beautifully!

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  6. I'm just glad to see you back, Launna. You are one of the many online inspirations there is today. Keep going. I'm here supporting your healing.

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  7. Very thoughtful write-up, Launna. Good to see you back with this powerful post.

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  8. So lovely to see your post here Launna - and thanks too for your recent comment on the low carb diabetic blog.

    Sending positive thoughts to you, and yes always remember that, 'you are so much more blessed then you tend to remember. Although you have had trials and tests that broke you at times, you have found the meaning and healed .... we can all be healed from our brokenness'... have faith.

    My good wishes

    All the best Jan

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  9. Very strong quotes! Yes, we must believe we can get healed and our brokenness turned into one big, positive wholeness.

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  10. Oh, Launna I've missed you too..I almost wrote Luna..its been that long since you've posted!

    Yes, I know how you feel about being trapped and we can only do so much and then pray and remember we are blessed.

    Its been a cold long winter, but things are warming out. I know this sounds trite, but I really wasn't sure I wanted to write anymore after joining a writer's group and then having Polyvore loose all my collages because it decided to sell out to some company that had no idea what Polyvore was about. Many of us there weren't fashionistas, but wanted to be in a community where you could do graphic art.

    I don't write about Henry and Josie as much as I should, but I am sending you this link with posts about Henry and Josie.

    Thank you so much for being here. I hope you can post more often and feel you can be you. All the best to your writing and your kindness. Many prayers and many many blessings.

    Peace, Ellie

    http://elliencompany.blogspot.com/search?q=henry&max-results=20&by-date=true

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  11. So glad to see you again with another powerful post Launna! It's always a pleasure to read your thoughts!
    Thanks a lot and happy Sunday!
    Kisses, Paola.

    Expressyourself

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  12. Hi Launna. I'm happy to see you blogging again. I agree, our hurts make us exponentially more thankful/grateful. I don't like the bumps in life, but they surely do make us grow and that's a good thing!

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  13. Welcome back, kiddo. It's great to hear from you again.

    You're right. We're all broken in some way... even those who don't show it. But the encouraging thing about those breaks we all suffer is in the healing process, God makes those parts of us stronger.

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  14. Amiga que saudade sempre arrasando com essa postagem,
    obrigado pela visita.
    Blog: https://arrasandonobatomvermelho.blogspot.com.br/
    Canal:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DmO8csZDARM

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  15. Launna! Também senti sua falta. Bom saber que você está voltando! ;D

    Então, aquele esmalte é bem elegante mesmo. Amei demais aquela tonalidade!

    Ninguém sabe como é a dor do próximo. Por isso a empatia é necessária em todas as situações, já que isso também ajuda a curar quem está passando por uma fase ruim!

    Ótima quarta!

    Beijo! ^^

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  16. I'm so happy to see you back blogging again. It is true that everyone has struggles and problems to deal with--many that we aren't even aware of. You never really know what pain others have suffered. It is true though that we can heal from the pain and brokenness and move forward in life. Hope you have a nice week!

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  17. Hey Launna, good to have you back. It's a broken world and we're all trying to live the best we can. It's why I think being kind trumps so much because we don't know what someone's living or carrying in them.

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  18. Hi Launna,
    It's nice to see you back. Sorry you've been going through so much, I definitely have empathy and sympathy as I've been in very similar situations. I find though, even though anger is justified and so is frustration and sadness, it doesn't help. Those are such negative emotions that only hinder us and make us feel worse. They consume our lives and make everything feel even more pointless and out of reach. I even know from studies that feeling down and angry can effect the way the brain works and in turn have a negative effect on the body, making our symptoms worse. Try to do anything you possibly can to get some happiness in the day, even if that's a funny movie, happy music, happy memories, anything to put more happiness emotions in and get rid of the negative. Learning the difference between the bad emotions and how much they weigh you down, compared to the good ones and how much they uplift you (even in a physically damaged body) is so important. It's helped me wonders. Learn to work with what you can do, not what you can't. At least then you will get some fulfilment.

    Raindrops of Sapphire

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  19. Welcome back Launna! I'm glad you've come back despite your struggles and you are still able to pour out your feelings and dreams. I know it doesn't always happen like in the case of alcoholics who never recover but there's a lot of hope when you can say to yourself that you are not broken in spite of your difficulties and that you will prevail.

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  20. Dear Launna
    You always write very beautifully that I don’t understand how you did not write for a longtime and I’m surprisedthat you find difficult to put words together when your writing is so good!
    I hope you are better and have got strength to go out and do more things you want to do in life.
    I’m glad to hear from you and see you here again
    Hope you have a lovely weekend

    Nuria

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  21. you always amaze me with power of your words and strength of your thoughts which obviously reflect true of your being dear Launna!

    your first papra reveals that you are able to keep your eyes on the filled part of glass and this shows your gratitude for what you have my friend!

    i am glad that your pain is less and you are able to visit outdoors which is great achievement !

    please keep sustaining this courage and confidence and walk sublimely on the path of life with the dare and pride

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  22. Hi Launna and welcome back to the blogosphere! Please you don't have to thank me for checking you out during this time. You've been one of the most special people I "met" through blogging so of course I wanted to know how wereyou doing.
    I'm sorry you still have health issues that limit the things you want to do but I'm glad to know that doesn't blind you from seeing the other blessings you do have in your life. I think you're still the strong and wise woman that used to write all those previous posts, if nor stronger AND wiser now.
    I can't imagine what your parent must have been through, and may they rest in peace, thank you for sharing that with us as well. We all have different trials to go throguh and learn from, i can see you're learning a lot from yours, which is so admirable.
    I hope to see new posts from you but if not, just know that I'm always a chat away if you need me.
    Have a lovely weekend, my friend!

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  23. I'm so happy to see that you are writing again. I've missed you! Hope things continue to improve for you! Hugs!

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  24. Hello Launna, welcome back to the blogsphere!
    I'm so sorry to hear you had to deal with so many hardships, but at the same time, it's clear you're on the right path to come out of this situation.
    I mean, in my opinion the way you react to difficulties is everything, so try to find a way to transform sadness, angry and disappointment in strenght is definitely a great point of start!
    But don't compare yourself with others: seems logical, but for me it's only worth to make you feel worst: like (above the other things you have to bear) you have to feel guilty because there'is someone who is worst that you! Wtf??!!! This is no right!
    You have all the rights to have your feelings!
    I really hope that things finally will go better for you, dear, you really deserve happiness and serenity! So don't give up and keep on fight untile you get the victory!
    XO
    S
    https://s-fashion-avenue.blogspot.it/

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  25. A powerful and moving post. Life can be challenging, but we press on because every minute, every day and night and breeze and drop of rain hold promise. Thank you for sharing, and keep writing.
    Silvia
    https://silviatomasvillalobos.wordpress

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  26. Dear Launna,

    From heart: I'm so excited to see you back with another amazing post. Your words have insipiring magical power that can heal and motivate others. And I'm one of them. I learn so much from you.

    You are my greatest friend and inspiration I could build myself in all these years of my blogging. And I'm proud of that.

    I'm so sorry to hear that you were in pain. I hope you get back your strength and motivation to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Life throws many struggles at us, just when we think we are growing in a better way, or our life is changing. But you know what, this is what I have learned in all these years: Even in the middle of our struggles and stressful times, we must find our "happiness". People, books, plants, television shows, movies, dreams, aspirations, passions, or just writing- anything that can bring you peace and joy, go for it or kean on them- to feel better.

    Sometimes sharing our pain, struggles can make it ease to deal with it. So do not feel bad to share them with us. I have experienced that venting out my emotions or unhealed wounds gives me more strength and the courage to face my life straight on it's face.

    Waiting to read your next post!
    Take care
    Hugs

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  27. I missed you, Launna and it's good to see you back. Life is very unpredictable, sometimes we thought we have everything together but it decides to twist and turn and leave us broken again. You are a fighter Launna, you stood up fighting again and again and I'm happy that you are no longer angry with life.

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  28. A very positive post:) Have a great weekend !

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  29. Missed you, L! Glad to see you and thank you for your comment on my blog. I do believe we can heal from brokenness, but it's not easy! Years of therapy to get past childhood PTSD was one of the hardest things I ever did. It takes a lot of time and effort (and unfortunately, money). But it was definitely worth it. I'm actually living my life now, without (much) anger and resentment towards my mother. (I still have my moments :-)) Take care and keep writing!

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  30. I am sorry you have had such a tough time lately, but it's nice to hear there are some positives, and being able to work from home is a great thing! :) I enjoyed seeing you pop up in my blog comments again, thank you! :)


    Hope you have had a wonderful weekend! We had a fun time at a kite festival on Sunday! :)

    Away From The Blue Blog

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  31. SO happy, that you are back on the blog again,
    missed your honest post.
    Thank you for sharing this emotional side of yours, it's so important to talk and be totally honest when you are heart broken, so you can start healing.
    Lovely memes.

    take a look at my BLOG and also INSTAGRAM

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  32. Launna you have no idea how good it feels to read from you again. Glad you sat down at your computer and got cranking. Reading a comment from you was sure a pleasant surprise. Welcome back!

    https://www.fashionablyidu.com/

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  33. Loving the insight. It's amazing how we chance as we grow and how our perspective on suffering changes.

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  34. Hi, Launna, so long. I too could not write or read any blogs for long owing to some commitments. But, now its time to do all that!This is amazing and inspirational post. Yes, we all have to go through the trials and tribulations. But, as you said we should embrace them and emrge much stronger. Wish you all the best.

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  35. Good to see you back writing. And hang in there-----there will be a day when you can retire and make those travel plans of yours. For now, just focus on your job and your kids and getting through each day. You have to remember, this phase will not last forever. Stay strong, my friend.

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  36. I am so glad to see your post and know that you are doing okay. I think you bring up so many good points in your post. Sometimes we can't help but allow ourselves to be hurt and angry. But- it is important to let those feelings go eventually and move on- otherwise we aren't enjoying out lives at all. The quotes you shared are so beautiful. I only hope you can realize what an inspiration you are and how much you fill others with hope. Sending hugs.
    ~Jess

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  37. This is soul stirring Launna. You spoke to me in this post. And I appreciate that I can come to your blog to read a message a word that could help me. I'm glad I've got to know you through blogging and I'm very grateful for that. We all need each other to lean on especially in difficult times and I so identify with the abusive relationship of your sister cos I have a similar situation, but I still hold back cos she needs to grow into herself and find her strength . Thank you Launna

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I love and appreciate all genuine comments, to save a little time, I won't be commenting on the comments on my blog (unless you don't have a blog), I will just visit your blog and comment there, if you have left a meaningful comment for me... I would much rather spend the time reading and commenting on a few extra blogs ❤