Trust Can Be A Scary Two Way Street

I have been wanting to write all weekend, there seemed to be one thing or another that got in the way of that, so I finally had time to sit down and write and then the computer was acting up... I thought I might have to blog from my phone and that did not excite me... I would much rather type on a keyboard. Anyhow, I finally got my computer working.

So, I had this pretty wonderful week that I was flying high, I have been talking to the new guy a great deal... then on Saturday he surprised me with a text that he was going to be in Halifax for a few hours and he wanted to spend that time with me. We talk non stop on the phone... okay, if I am being honest, I talk non stop ... lol... he said he loves listening to me talk, he is a keeper. I do ask plenty of questions which he openly answers, however; getting to see him face to face is even better. 

We just went for a drive and talked even more than usual, you can't beat seeing each other while you are talking and being able to hold hands. He tells me all the time he is the luckiest guy to have found me... I think that is sweet but I also think we are equally lucky, I didn't and don't want to be on some sort of pedestal... I am NOT perfect I have made many mistakes, he said he doesn't care and that although he thinks I am pretty wonderful, he won't put me on a pedestal, there is no where to go but down from there.

I have decided that I will put my heart out there and give him a chance, can I tell you all how scary that is... well, it is about the scariest thing I have done in years. This coming from a girl who wants that commitment ... I know how far down I am capable of falling after trusting someone with my heart in the past and frankly that scares me more than anything I have had to deal with... He's afraid too... he has been hurt, I told him I thought we were worth the try, he said yes... and that he knew I was more than worth trying for..

Even though it is has been a little challenging with his work and having to be out of town... he is very transparent with me and I actually think the distance has been a good thing. It has forced us to talk a lot and really get to know each other and the few times we have been able to get together we are both so excited that we laugh and talk endlessly wanting to find out as much as we can about the other. Thankfully, he has downtime in the Winter where we can really have one on one time to spend together, by then we will both know what we truly want from the other...

Here is my dilemma because of the way men have treated me in the past I find it extremely difficult to trust them ... I have told him that and he said he understands, he knows how men can be and he can understand where I am coming from. I told him I am tired of games and I won't play any of them... he told me he's not out to play with me, he is out to win my heart... I am going to trust him unless he gives me an excuse not to... he's doing the same with me... Trust can be a scary two way street... so far so good.

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