Back to the gym

I had a week off from the gym, first my youngest was feeling well and then I wasn't feeling well and then I was lazy... really the last part was not an excuse, just my being honest. Well, I finally made it back today and although it was tough, I am glad I did it, I did a lot of weights and it felt good. So back tomorrow and now the hard work begins but then from the hard work will come  great results. I am looking forward to it again. 

Back into training again tomorrow... as if I understand all the other training I have learned in the past month, yeah no... I can tell you right now, I am NOT looking forward to assisting customers when I have no clue what I am doing. I KNOW that one day I will but until that day arrives... I will just be muddling through. Oh well, it's the only way to grow and progress, being thrown to the wolves that is... lol

Next thing, I nearly had a melt down at the bus depot today, I went to get on the bus and I could not find my bus pass, not only that, it was in a case that had $90.00 and my bank card as well. I freaked and searched everywhere, just when I thought I would have to go back to work, I remembered putting it in my bra... yes my bra, when I have no pockets I always put things in my bra... lol.   I had forgot. Leave it to me to do the silliest things possible. I am forever making a joke of myself, I don't think I do this on purpose.. I really don't want to be this silly, yet I keep doing things that give people a great laugh. 

Anyhow, I am working on some ideas and plans... nothing that is concrete right now but I know some things are going to change in the near future. If they go the way I want them to go, then yipee... if not then I have to accept that as well.

Trying to understand some people

I guess I will NEVER understand some people, what in the world do they possibly gain from hurting other people? I have been wondering this and talking to some of my friends about this and they have all made me come to the conclusion as follows: I am never going to be able to understand this because I don't think that way, I don't think about trying to hurt other people, I always want the best for people, I want everyone to be happy and to have what they need. I don't want to put people down or in a place that is less than what they want. 

I am so into honesty, I beg for this from people... yet they think that I don't want this and they lie. Believe me, lying is the worst thing you can do for a person, if you were just up front and honest we could all move on, why would you not want to move on... you have no answer???

This past week I have felt like I was in high school again, where I was the weird unpopular girl when really I am the friendly, outgoing and honest girl. I am about all about being gentle and being loving, it's all I have ever wanted... and yet it eludes me. 

I am grateful that I know deep down inside that I am a good person and I deserve good things and most of all good things are happening to me now and in the future. It cannot be denied me, if this is what I give out, this is what I will have in return. This has been a tough week but one that I have needed to grow, those are the hardest but in the end the most rewarding. There are great things around the corner, I just have to keep focused... I will attain all that I desire and who I desire.