The truth is what we all ask for yet we don't seem to really want it. For when we get it, we keep trying to live the dream.
I know that I am where I am supposed to be in my life right now, I have never been so sure of anything in my life. So when you are so sure of where you are, it's hard to accept it's not the whole dream.
What do I want? What does anyone want? To be loved, accepted and heard. I don't think it's asking for much, I am worth that much.
I think having to deal with a fire and the scars that came with it, to an abusive step mother, to being a single mom at 18, to marrying Andrey who took away my self esteem and then raped me.
Seriously, getting through all that makes me happy that I was strong enough to survive what life threw at me.
Also in this past year or so, I came to realize that I can have what I want, the possibilities are endless. I just always had to believe, which I do now. I love my life, I am grateful for all my blessings.
The truth although painful is always better then a lie. So whenever you ask a question be prepared for the answer.
Thoughts About Myself
I had a chat with a friend tonight who I realized is frantic to get through to me. Which made me wonder if everyone feels the same way? Does everyone think I am wearing rose colored glasses?
I have just been feeling SO euphoric lately, you know that kind of happiness and joy that is so amazing you just know that the memories attached to the euphoria will always be imprinted in your mind. Tonight though after being questioned and then really thinking about it, I began to wonder if maybe all the euphoria is worth it. Then I guess that is really the decision we are all trying to make in our lives.
If we are totally honest with ourselves and the older I get the more honest I am with myself. Aren't we all just looking to be happy? Don't we all just want to have joy filled days? I know that's what I want for myself, my children, people I love and my friends. I just want them to be happy. If I can help someone else to be happy than I will be filled with joy. I love myself for being me and not worrying about what everyone will think of me, I am truly happy in my life, the kind of happiness that makes me radiate. People have even said they have never seen me so happy.
I know everyone worries about the inevitable fall but isn't all that joy and happiness worth it? It is to me. I'm so much stronger than I used to be, I feel like I can handle what may come my way. It's amazing to me that I don't fear what the future holds because I'm pretty sure it's wonderful;) I promised myself that I would stop regretting the mistakes I've made or will make as all things in life make me who I am today and who I'll be in the future.
I am a kind, loving, grateful, thoughtful, stubborn, funny, tenacious, dramatic, loyal, interesting and so much more. Basically I'm a very good person who learns and grows from all her challenges.
Challenges can come in many different packages but they all give us the opportunity to grow.
I have just been feeling SO euphoric lately, you know that kind of happiness and joy that is so amazing you just know that the memories attached to the euphoria will always be imprinted in your mind. Tonight though after being questioned and then really thinking about it, I began to wonder if maybe all the euphoria is worth it. Then I guess that is really the decision we are all trying to make in our lives.
If we are totally honest with ourselves and the older I get the more honest I am with myself. Aren't we all just looking to be happy? Don't we all just want to have joy filled days? I know that's what I want for myself, my children, people I love and my friends. I just want them to be happy. If I can help someone else to be happy than I will be filled with joy. I love myself for being me and not worrying about what everyone will think of me, I am truly happy in my life, the kind of happiness that makes me radiate. People have even said they have never seen me so happy.
I know everyone worries about the inevitable fall but isn't all that joy and happiness worth it? It is to me. I'm so much stronger than I used to be, I feel like I can handle what may come my way. It's amazing to me that I don't fear what the future holds because I'm pretty sure it's wonderful;) I promised myself that I would stop regretting the mistakes I've made or will make as all things in life make me who I am today and who I'll be in the future.
I am a kind, loving, grateful, thoughtful, stubborn, funny, tenacious, dramatic, loyal, interesting and so much more. Basically I'm a very good person who learns and grows from all her challenges.
Challenges can come in many different packages but they all give us the opportunity to grow.
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