Our Characters Are Our Choices

Before I start writing, I wanted to let you all know I have made a huge dent in getting organized and decluttering... there is still quite a bit to do but my old bedroom is pretty well ready for me to work from home when it all comes together and my bed is in my living room. It looks pretty good, I am going to buy a partition... just so I can divide it up a little more. I am really feeling like it's all coming together... I am grateful that there was a solution.

I have never had a difficult time writing, usually I sit down and it comes out... I have been thrown for a bit of loop this week. Have you ever thought you knew someone? Really knew them? There are very few people in my life that I have felt that close to, so when a revelation comes out that basically changes their whole character to you, it can blow you away... I know it blew me away. I honestly thought there was very little that could change my mind but this did, when someone can agree with ideas that are decisive and perpetrate hate... 

It makes me wonder if I ever really knew them at all... It amazes me how people can hide who they are that deeply. I am not trying to be judgmental at all as it's not something I ever want to be... however; it hurts my heart to know that they could agree with such unkind and mean thoughts... I thought they were about love, I thought they were a very good person... Was it that I was blinded and refused to see this side of them? Or could I have been deceived so easily?

This whole thing has flipped my world upside down, to the point that changed my feelings for them... I don't much feel anything about them, not good, not bad... just distant. If that makes any sense? I have gone over the many conversations I had with them, trying to understand where this all came from... yet I don't remember even detecting any of it... I am a free thinker, I believe we all have the right to have our opinions and I am not confrontational but this is more than I can agree with... sometimes we have to stand up for what we believe in, even if it means that others don't agree. 

What this has done to me this week has made me question all my relationships... I guess we don't honestly know anyone totally... although I did believe that I at least knew the important things about a persons character. We are our character, we don't have a lot more than that... It makes me a bit sad that I am doubting so many other relationships, wondering if they will change so suddenly too... The truth is that I am about love and forgiveness... I am not perfect in anyway, nor do I ever claim to be...

When someone cannot forgive, it breaks my heart because I know that it will only hold them back, I know that it is their choice though and that I cannot make their decisions for them... That is why even though I have been rocked by this persons character and hurt to know that this was who they were deep down...  I must forgive them ... for me. I know it won't happen overnight but I also know that I cannot live with the feelings I have for them now... wondering what other things they buried about them themselves.  All I know is that I have been and always will be the character I portray...

Follow along!
Facebook //  Twitter //  Google Plus //  Bloglovin //  Instagram //  Pinterest //