The only thing that matters now is my mission. Nothing will stand in the way anymore.
I'm not sure what is wrong... I have had three panic attacks in less than a week.. I might have had three panic attacks in my whole life before that...
The first one came on the day of David's surgery... I can understand this one, my David was not able to text me for a little over eight hours after the surgery and I was scared that something had happened while he was under... but when he messaged me I relaxed, I thought that was the end of it...
Friday rolled around and I had one at work, I thought I was going to have to leave... I even started to cry. Thankfully it wasn't busy and I was able get my breathing back under control. I wondered why I had one again, David was fine, we had talked the night before. I was actually happy and relaxed.
The third one happened Saturday night in the middle of the night. I woke up at 4 am and I was having one in a dream that I continued with when I woke up.. I did not actually go back to sleep... I dozed... I get up at a decent hour and prepared myself to go to church, I was all dressed and ready to leave when I went to the washroom and the toilet overflowed... that was it for me, I crawled back in bed... All day Sunday I laid in bed, not wanting to move, wondering if another panic attack would hit.
I did finally relax enough to get up, I took Valentina to a friends house so that I could go for a long walk. I thought it would be good to get some of the energy out, which I hoped would really help me relax enough to sleep... Especially since I had been unable to get any exercise the previous two days due to the weather... I was ready for sleep Sunday night.. I laid there and hoped I could get through the night without another panic attack. There's nothing really stressing in my life... nothing more than usual. Something must be weighing on my mind that maybe I'm not aware of? I would rather deal with it head on than deal with it this way, where it paralyzes me.
Unfortunately if I don't know what it is that is causing it... I can't really deal with it... which makes me want to figure it out as quickly as I can, so that it won't cause anymore debilitating incidences. I can't keep having them and not try to figure out what is bringing them on... I don't want them to become daily occurrences. Luckily I didn't have another one last night but I did wake up at 3 am and I was unable to fall back to sleep, which will make for a very long day.
Also, just a quick update on my weight loss journey, on my 13th week, I was down a total of 42 pounds and still going down. I still weigh in on Friday's at work as I like to get weighed on the same scale to see my weight loss from the beginning. I also get weighed in on Monday mornings on my own scale as my sister and I are still on the journey to see who will lose 10% of their body weight first and we started on a holiday when I was unable to weigh in at work.
