I heard this phrase the other day 'Your own self rejection is turning people away'.... I was incredibly struck by it, every time I think the least bit negative of some body part or quirky quality I have, I am turning people away. WOW, I have seriously done this all my life. I know that I have become more positive about what I deserve but I constantly have self doubt about my looks, not that I think I am ugly... I'm not... I am just a heavy girl. This phrase made me realize that since I was rejecting my own body daily that I was turning people away from loving me.
So I have been thinking that I really need to do is love those things I have disliked about myself. I know when I focus on the great things about myself, they seem to stand out. I have fabulous hair, really amazing... I have been very blessed, my hair is long, thick and soft... it only becomes more beautiful since I like it so much.
This reminded me that I have changed things about myself that I didn't like before such as I was SO shy. I could barely talk to anyone unless you were family or a good friend. When I was 25 years old, I decided enough was enough... I just started conversations with anyone.... it was hard and scary but I started telling myself that I was good at this, I was comfortable with this and one day I realized I was good at it.
I stopped disliking that shy quality I had, it had held me back for many years. Job hunting was difficult when I had very little self confidence that I could handle speaking in the interview. Now I ace interviews, love interviews.... I am really comfortable in them. If I have a strong desire to get a certain job, all I need is the chance to have an interview and then the job is mine.
I never would have gained that great quality if I hadn't decided to love myself and open myself up for new experiences. I'm doing that again now... I have a date set for my operation, it is going to be January 31st, I'm finally getting the opportunity to have my leg healed after 11 years. I am going to take the time to heal and relax.
I am grateful that I am having this chance, I am lucky that I am where I am at this moment because I have people that are going to be there for me, dropping by, checking in on me. I am sure I won't be lonely for company. I will get to read and catch up on my writing.
That little phrase 'Your own self rejection is turning people away' has really made me think about how I am projecting myself out in the world.
I cherish my past, I accept my present and I dream for my future ♥
