The Emotional Loop

I was able to get out for a two mile walk yesterday... not enough though.  This rain has me down, I need to find rain boots so that I can walk whenever I want to...  I am tired of waiting for my shoes to dry out each time.

I then spent most of the day with Andrea, Paul and Jackson... we went out for Mexican food.  I ate a salad without the dressing.  It tasted pretty good as the chicken was moist and favorable.  I went over my calories a bit today but still not too bad.  I don't get weighed at work again until next Friday as I was on vacation this week but I weighed myself at home this morning and I am down 5 more pounds... that makes it a total of 15, so far.

I also spent the night copying all the blogs I follow and their links as I keep reading how GFC (Google Friend Connect) is going away... I didn't want to lose any of the people I follow and not everyone is on Bloglovin...  If you would like you can follow me there.  Here is the link to Bloglovin, also if you add Bloglovin to your blog, I will follow you there too. 

I'm lying in bed this morning making mental notes of what I need to do today... listening to the rain against my window.  Usually I love days like this as they give me an excuse to relax.  However; since Andrea, Paul and Jackson are here... I would much prefer there to be nice weather so we could go out with Valentina and do things together as a family. Also, we want to take a family photo together and we want to take it outdoors.

Every time I am sure I have it together, something comes along to show me that I don't.  It's not that I think I can have it all figured out as life is ever changing... no one has it all figured out (if they say they do, they are kidding themselves).  What I mean by having it together is that I am emotionally strong enough to move to the next stage.

I'm not though, why cannot I not get there?... am I always going to be in this loop that never seems to end?  I think I will be there until I can find answers or closure... I need that to move forward.

Until then I will just deal the highs and lows by writing and walking... I'm very dedicated to getting control of my weight.  Definitely in a healthy way as I don't much care if I am 20-30 pounds over weight, as long as I am strong and healthy.  I know people that are the supposedly the perfect weight but they eat the worst food and could not walk a block without wanting to pass out.  Being slim does not mean you're healthy...

I happen to be a woman who embraces her curves and loves them.  I like my shape, I just want a smaller version... one where I can feel comfortable while running a 5 and 10 K... but still look sexy in a dress that shows off my curves.

Eventually with my tenacity I will have both... a strong body with lots of curves.  Will I then be able to free myself from the emotional loop to move forward?

I cherish my past, I accept my present and I dream for my future ♥

Why I Love Blogging

I started my blog in July of 2009 but I didn't become serious until February 2012, at that time I had one follower and I had about 3000 page views... since February 2012, I now have 152 follower on GFC, plus many followers on Twitter, Bloglovin, Bloggers.com, my Facebook page, Pinterest etc... and over the weekend, I have hit over 50,000 views.

That boggles my mind but I seriously look forward to more growth, I love the interaction of blogging... getting to know new people by following their blogs and learning about them through their posts.  Some people have actually become friends on Facebook where we chat off and on... I think it is amazing being connected with so many people across the world.  I know that no amount of internet connection makes up for human connection which I have daily with teammates.  I think that blogging friends are special because we all know what it takes to put a blog post together.

What takes someone a few minutes to read, likely takes an hour to two hours.  Lately it has been so much better for me now that I have a new computer and I have a much faster internet but it still takes time, time that I actually enjoy.  One of the reasons that I comment on my favorite blogs regularly is because first, I like people to know that someone is really following them and second I like getting to know people this way.  I know what it means to me when someone takes time out of their busy schedule to comment on my blog, I really appreciate it, especially since I blog so often...

I also know that when I blog, I put myself out there, writing my past to work on a better future.  My favorite bloggers are too many to name but the people that I connect to the quickest are people that make me feel, either by making me laugh hysterically, or crying with a beautiful piece of poetry written from the heart, or making me ponder something with words that are written with so much love.  I have always loved to read and now I get to read a little bit about many people's lives.  I get to laugh, cry and smile with them as they are on a journey, not so different than my own.  Maybe different challenges but we are still working towards becoming our best selves.

  I cherish my past, I accept my present and I dream for my future ♥

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