Writing Is Like Breathing To Me

It feels like a very long time since I have written, yet it has only been a couple of weeks... I am glad that I took the time for a variety of reasons, one I actually started getting a handle on my housework, it had began to be a problem. I still have a bit to do but I am on the right path. Two, I needed to think about if I wanted to write here again... I took the time to go through many of my blog posts, reading and sharing them. What I concluded from all of it was that although I may write about the same topic often, I have grown from it each time.

Nobody masters anything immediately, we learn a little more each time, be it about forgiveness, love, growth, challenges... etc... It is much like how I changed to become healthy by eating better and exercising. I found that with writing, it kept me accountable... these past two weeks I have been doing my own thing and feeling the effects from it. I want to change that, I want to get back on track and I knew with writing I could get there again... I wrote a thought down about a week or so ago and I thought about it a lot each day. 

I heard someone say how music was like breathing to them... I then wrote 'writing is like breathing to me'... I think we each have something that we are passionate about, something we love that makes us come alive... Well, writing is what does it for me. I remember when I was growing up and most of my family were artists and I thought, why didn't I get that awesome talent? I came to understand that this was their passion and mine came through writing my thoughts.

I don't pretend to think I am a great writer by any means but what I do have going for me is that I am open and honest about who I am and how I feel... I have had many people tell me how they appreciate and admire that in me... I never understood that it's not something that is easy to do until recently... each time I write it's like exposing a part of myself ... that isn't simple. 

When I started writing many years ago, something I had wanted to do for a long time, I had no idea that I would have so many people throughout the world that would care about what I was going through or what I have come through in my life. When I decided not to write and to think about if I wanted to continue, I offered for you all to connect with me in other ways and I was extremely touched with how many people reached out to me.

I've heard many people talk about the page views they have per day, the massive amounts of followers they have attained and how successful their blog has become... I realized that even if I don't have all of that I am successful in that I have wonderful people that really care about me throughout the world... besides the truth is that no matter what, I will always write because 'writing is like breathing to me.'

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Committed To My Passion

Yesterday was a good day, especially for my leg, the pain is very manageable, the weakness is still there, just not to the degree that it was. So all in all a good day!

Valentina went up to the ward party and I met her up there, she had an awesome time, that girl is so lovable.  I truly am a lucky mama. I miss Andrea....

I had a bit of a long day, so I just relaxed and decided to write, I wanted to relay an experience I had. I read a blog called The Daily Love by Mastin Kipp that I read everyday. Anyway last week he wrote a post about how he writes even when he doesn't feel like it and how he had just made a commitment to write no matter what.

Anyway, I thought great post and I filed it away in my folder.  I somehow have it coming twice, so I ended up reading it again. I meant to delete the second one but forgot and started reading it for the third time. It finally clicked, I haven't been as committed to my writing, I should be networking more, learning how to make my blog more friendly and easy to read. I want to be more committed to my passion.

The happiness jar that I am starting right away has me feeling more creative, I will be feeling more positive when I am looking for good and uplifting things in my life to write down for memories.  This Christmas is a bit emotional but I want to make it special for Valentina...  she deserves to have an amazing holidays. 

I'm working on those decisions I need to make too... I do wish they were easier to make.  I guess life wouldn't be so rewarding if it was too easy, if it could just be a little bit easier...

"Everything you want, also wants you" ~ Jack Canfield

Being Passionate About What I Love

Through your passion, you will find inner peace out of adversity. ~ Azziza Salem

I read this quote last week and I was touched by it, since I've been working on having inner peace even while going through adversity. I believe there has to be a way to find this peace even when life is tough.  The quote reminded me how I need to live with and by my passion.

I pondered for years what my passion could be, I believe it is my writing.  It's the place I can be myself, much like I am with my David. We all need something or someone that we have passion for and about. I enjoy the process of blogging, writing from my heart, reading other people's blogs and being inspired.

For some reason that I can't explain, not even to myself; I've been weepy.  It's not that I'm unhappy, life is pretty good. I'm feeling more relaxed at work, my house is 95% clean and organized, my David and I are good friends again (I miss him so much when he's out on exercises with the army but it's only a week or more and he'll be home).

There must be something sad underlying. I would hope I had a reason to be weepy.   It's really odd, it comes in waves, I'll just be talking to a client and then suddenly my eyes will tear up?  It doesn't seem to last for more than a minute or two but I can feel this deep emptiness and than it's gone before I can analyze the emotion.

One thing about this cleaning and purging, I feel lighter.  I can walk around my house comfortably, I no longer fear what I might walk on or bump into.  It's so calming, it makes me desire to keep it up, plus Valentina is commenting often on how nice the place is and how wonderful a sleep she has had (hopefully this will inspire her to keep her room clean herself). This has really helped me a great deal.

"Everything you want, also wants you" ~ Jack Canfield

Creating My Passion

 Living with passion is your divine birthright! Go forth and create the life you desire. ~ Stephanie Marrone

I am SO grateful that I have Valentina, she's one of those early risers and cheerful about it. Last night my Blackberry shut off which meant no alarm clock for me. The wonderful thing was that my sweet daughter came into my room just after 6:00 am to ask me if I was getting up.

I then had a mad rush to get ready but without her I wouldn't have woken up until Cindy got there at 7:30 am. So because of my sweet daughter I was still able to get everything done (though I was rushed) then I was able to still walk. I'm very, very lucky that she is such an easy going child. Not sure I could handle a high maintenance child at my age, lol.

On my way to work and then another 15 minute walk, this will become second nature for me before I know it. Then I'll have to figure out how to incorporate more exercise; one step at a time, no need to rush. I'm on the right path now, I just need to enjoy the good in it.

I have missed having the time to read novels, this was one of my huge passions. It still is if I could find an author to be goo goo over; in the mean time I get my reading in by checking out blog after blog. There are so many talented people in this world and I feel blessed to live in this internet age where I can read so many of them over the world.

So, I've decided tonight that I am only allowed one hour for reading and commenting on blogs. One hour for studying my CPA and one hour to work on David's present. Also, I will do this tomorrow and on Saturday and Sunday I will double up everything up. That way I will have David's gift finished and ready to mail; I'll also be ahead in my CPA and I will also get to read and comment on many blogs.

I've been reading so many blogs from women who can't seem to give up the toxic men in their lives. I know I was one of them, I refuse to accept anything less now. It's too bad I wasted so much time on men that didn't deserve me. I'm not saying they were bad men, they just were not good for me. Some people just are not good for us, we need to recognize this and move on from them.

I think we're always afraid that there won't be another guy out there for us, that is fear talking and not the least bit true. As the quote says 'Raise your standards and you will rise along with them'. Remember how wonderful and special you are. We deserve to be loved and to have someone we truly love in our lives.

I had an interesting incident that happened today, most people would let it break them, I decided it was a mindful smack as Mastin Kipp from The Daily Love would say.  It is time for me to stop accepting less from myself than I have and to excel the way I'm supposed to. I am giving up the fear and I am going to be completely passionate about what I really want and I will soar above everything that everyone thinks I am capable of; watch  me fly.