What You Believe, You Will Achieve

I saw this quote on Facebook today and it made me think of how tenacious I am... I am one of those people that when someone tells me it is impossible... that I find a way to make it happen.  I don't know if it is always a good thing but I don't give up until I am forced to do so.  I am not the most gracious when I have to give in or give up... usually it has nothing to do with things... it has to do with people.

I have long believed in the quote above, even when I was young and had never heard it... I always believed anything was possible if I wanted it bad enough.  I don't mean possessions...  although nice to have, it is never what I longed for....  What I desired was to travel the path I was meant to travel, no matter what other people thought.  I remember a time about four years ago that I KNEW I was meant to do something where everyone thought I had lost it... a small part of me started believing they were right but that tenacious part of me would NOT let me give in... I didn't give up, I succeeded in doing what I knew I was meant to do.

When I look back at those things that I achieved because I wouldn't give in... I am in awe of myself, more in awe that I would ever doubt what or where I should be... I know exactly what I am supposed to do and I know where I am supposed to be... Yet I continue to let other people's ideas cloud what I know... If I don't believe in my dreams, who will?  Just because things don't happen on a time line that I want, doesn't mean it won't happen... it just means I am not ready yet... I need to stop doubting myself, the truth is that when I want to achieve something in my life, I have always made it happen.

A little over six years ago, I was still living my ex Andrey... we were not together in any real sense, more for convenience.  What I mean by this is that when Andrey and I married in 2001, I ended up sponsoring him into Canada by 2003 when our marriage was at the very end and we separated not too long after.  However; since I had sponsored him, I was responsible for him for ten years.... since I was legally responsible for him, I allowed him to stay with me and take care of Valentina while I worked.  Of course this was not a good solution for either of us and in late 2007, I realized that he and I would not be able to continue on like this for another six years.

I started thinking, dreaming... there had to be a way out for me... within one week of this thought, a friend of mine who I had known for a couple of years told me her aunt worked for immigration... I was like what?  How could you not tell me?  It never crossed her mine, I had her check with her aunt to find out if I would have to finish out this commitment, or was there a way out?

My friend called me later in the day and told me that she found out the laws had changed, it wasn't a ten year commitment any longer, it was only three.  Can you understand how elated I was?  I was over the moon excited...  however; I wondered if it was retro active... Cindy called them for and lo and behold, my responsibility for him was done, had been done for over year.

I had that thought about how our circumstances had to change, there had to be a way... in one week a way was made.  Anything is possible... anything.  If you think that was just lucky, think again, that law of being responsible for someone for ten years when you sponsor them had been in effect for a very long time... a way was made for me to be free.  Nothing can hold me back but me and the same goes for everyone... only we hold ourselves back.

I cherish my past, I accept my present and I dream for my future ♥

Sometimes All I Need Is A Hug

I read this quote and it touched me because I have been alone a fair amount of time while I am healing and I have little personal contact with people.  My little Valentina came down for a visit last night and when she left we just hugged for a really long time... it felt great.  I miss all her hugs, she gives me many through out the day.

Hugs from people that I love are so amazing, they have the power to calm me down or make me incredibly happy.  They always invoke good and uplifting thoughts and feelings.  Some of my fondest memories are being with someone that I love and just hugging... feeling each others hearts beat.. not having to say a word.

Sometimes as the quote says, there are no words... only a hug will do.  I have been majorly lacking in that department, right now... all I need is a really good long hug, where I feel safe just to let go...

I think Valentina will be home in a few weeks, I plan to make up some of those missing hugs... plus enjoy some of the present and not worry so much about what might or might not happen in the future. 

Some hugs I have had in my life have been so amazing that if I close my eyes, I can almost feel those arms around me.... those are good memories. 

I cherish my past, I accept my present and I dream for my future ♥

Forgiveness Will Lead You To Freedom

My day runs one into the other... lots of time to just rest and think.  I'm one of those people who enjoys some me time but I'm also a people person.  I realize though that as much as I want all the contact, I need the quiet... so that I can rest as much as possible.

"When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free."

- Katherine Ponder

 

When I read this quote above today, it reinforced within me that I don't want to hold resentment of another... I don't want to wonder why things are good for them and not for me?  I don't want to question why some people seem to escape trials while others are inundated with them.  The precise reason that I don't hold the resentment for others is that I want my freedom. 

I don't want to have those chains holding me back, so that I cannot move on.  It always makes me think when people I know don't let go of resentment... I see it as so sad, it holds back good people from becoming what they were meant to become. 

When I was 15 years old and I wanted to be free from Ruth (my abusive ex step mother)... all I did was pray that I would be free of living with her, free of her control... I wished her no harm, I never questioned why she didn't seem to pay... My prayer was answered, I was free not to live with her... it was not for me to wonder why or when she would pay.  I think no ill thoughts of her or anyone that was less then kind to me. 

I never want resentment to stunt my growth and hold me back... just as I felt when I was 15 is how I feel today... Let things go, don't be revengeful... it will never bring peace or freedom.

I cherish my past, I accept my present and I dream for my future ♥

Intentionally Flawed To Make Us Unique

 

This post was for last night, just as I was about to post it, my power went out and it was out for a while, I ended up going to bed... so today, I will post this one and another one later tonight. 

This phrase 'Intentionally flawed to make us unique' (Rick Warren) resonated with me... every person I know has what they consider to be flaws but what if those so called flaws are what makes us unique...  Why are we always trying to fit in, be like other people?  I have been guilty of this is the past but not in the past ten years or so.  I want to celebrate what makes me unique, the older I get the more that I believe my that unique qualities are what makes me special.

I don't want to be cookie cutter person, I want to be me, my quirkiness and all.  When I tried to be like others, following the pack... I was just very unhappy, I didn't even know who I was... it is a very long process to get through, learning to be comfortable in my own skin.  I tell my Valentina as I told Andrea to love themselves for who they are, I needed to take my own advise.

What if the very thing I have been fighting and disliking about myself is really what will make me a better person?  All those so called flaws are just our weaknesses or fears that try to hold us back... I don't want to be held back any longer... I don't want to be held back with what if's and why's?

Going forward, my flaws will become my strengths... I will love my flaws, give them light.... hiding them will only hurt me... I am bringing them into the light one at a time.

I cherish my past, I accept my present and I dream for my future ♥

I do not wanna say "I lost it all" *Acuite*

I was reading blogs and this particular one touched me so much I wanted to share it with everyone... it's like each word was written with me in mind, with exactly how I feel...


This is the blog link to the post I am speaking of above Acuite.  I do not wanna say "I lost it all".

When the day begins, I seek for your love, 

when I fall asleep at night, I think only of you.

It's you who makes me smile all the time.

It is you who  is missing.

 Sonja Acuite

I found out she wrote this for someone special to her, I just wanted to link it as it is someone else's blog, one I follow regularly.  Sonja often posts things that make me think or feel, which is what I like about most of the blogs I follow:)

"Everything you want, also wants you" ~ Jack Canfield

I Just Need One Reason It Will Work

 

I love this quote, it reminds me that when I am constantly coming up with excuses why I cannot do something I am afraid to fail at; all I have to do is come up with the one reason why it will work.  There is always one reason.

I am going to focus on the one reason I know I can do things.  Just because something is going to be hard work does not mean that it is impossible.  I have been taking on a lot of new things, I just want to challenge myself, I don't want it all to be easy, I know that if I don't get outside of my comfort zone, I will never progress and really, all I want to do is grow to my potential.

Now that I am back at church, every time I think I don't want to do that, I do it now.  I do it with a good attitude and I am pleasantly surprised at how good it feels.  The past me, found not stop excuses and I would never commit completely.

With work, I finally signed up for my CPA course and I will take the second one immediately after this one.  I am going to have to be organized and study every night.  I cannot cram these courses and do well in them.  I am saving my accounting course for last as I know I will do well in it, I have always excelled in this before.

I have found non stop excuses to not exercise, those are going too, I am just going to force myself to get out until it becomes a habit.  Once I am used to it, I am sure it can be fun, I enjoyed it in the past.  I just gave it up because I wasn't in the right head space.  No more excuses and I will believe in myself.

Mainly I am not giving up on love, I know it can be really painful when the feelings don't get returned.  I am not going to be afraid to keep trying, I will stay open no matter how many times I may feel rejected. I deserve to have love, I deserve to be loved, I deserve to be happy.  If some guy doesn't see that, that just means he isn't the right one.  I won't take it personally.