Taking A Break To Get Balance

I have been thinking about this for a while, Thursday brought it front and center and I realized I have to change something in my life so that I can began to sleep a little more than the few broken hours that I get every night and that I have had for the past 7 months.

Since it is working hard on becoming Spring here, today was gorgeous... it gave me great hope that more days are on the way.  One of the things I want to do is work out more, I have been walking a great deal since my last post. I have walked over 12 miles, it has felt wonderful to get back out at it, I have lost a little speed but I am sure I will get it back soon.

I think exercising will help me relax and I want to spend more time getting organized as I am actively looking for a new place and I have people looking as well. I need to be prepared to move and not have excess baggage to weigh me down.  The older I get the more minimalistic I become.  I seriously want to get rid a good 50 percent of my stuff because I don't use it, it just takes up space and causes clutter.

I also want to spend a lot of quality time with Valentina, we have been cooking together, playing a board game here and there, watching a TV show together... It has been good but we need more of those days.  So I have already been around to many blogs where I left comments and emailed others to let you know that I have decided to take a blog break and a social media break starting Monday morning and I am not sure how long I will be gone.

I am going to miss you, I know I have missed messaging a few, I follow a lot of blogs and so many of you inspire me or leave me lovely comments on my blog.  Some of you I have come to know through other forms of social media and I have really loved connecting which I will be back to ... just as soon as I figure out how to get some sleep.

I am sure I will not know what to do with myself for a while, I usually wake up... have a shower and then read and comment on blogs... then more on the way to work, at lunch, on the way home... So I have decided to walk as much as I can and spend as much time as I can with Valentina.

I will still be answering emails so if anyone wants to say hi and let me know how you are doing you can email me here .  I have a little work to do and it involves spending a little time just meditating and not filling time up so that I don't have to think or deal.  Which only spills over into my life where I am unable to sleep... Let me tell you that I have gone without sleep many times in my life, having a baby is one of those times but a bit different as I napped whenever I could and I did get 4 hours strung together.

I rarely sleep for more than 2 hours at a time and sometimes 3 hours... That is not enough to really focus on work and being a parent, both of these need my full attention and when I don't sleep they are affected.  I hope when I come back it will be where I have a little more balance in my life ... with sleep being one of them.

I look forward to catching up with you when I get back, until then I will miss you... 

Follow along!
Facebook //  Twitter //  Google Plus //  Bloglovin //  Instagram //  Pinterest // 

Forgiveness Is A Choice

 

I have been thinking about a question I was posed last week.  The person wanted to know if I could articulate why I have been feeling the way I have?  I sat there for a moment before I answered and then I said... I guess I thought my life would be different.  I get up, go to work, come home, be a mom, try to sleep and then repeat over and over. That isn't living, that is surviving; there really has to be more to life than this, right?

Please don't tell me that happiness is a choice, that's a lovely thought but sometimes there are circumstances out of our control.  I am going to be honest here, when I hear things like that or others like I need to accept the way my life is or that I am the one standing in the way of my own progression.... It makes me feel like I am not worthy of love or happiness, like it's my fault. If I just changed the way I thought, I would have peace and happiness.  Sometimes it is not that easy.

I do know one thing, I am not a person who can live with holding a grudge or really disliking someone as it eats at me.  Yes there are plenty of people that we meet that we don't connect with or don't like ... when I say I don't hold a grudge or dislike someone, I mean I don't let them have space in my head. I just move on, I don't think of them.

It can be really difficult when a person continues to do everything that they can to tear me down, I want to be the stronger woman and just prove to them and everyone that no matter how many times you try to hurt me, I only come back stronger.  Truthfully if everything is rosy and perfect in your life, you wouldn't have time to waste looking for ways to bring me down, especially since you don't even know me.

For me to move forward, I have to forgive you for hurting me, otherwise you will always be in my life where you can pull me down to your level.  I don't want you as a part of my life in any way, I don't want to dislike you as I have and I don't want to waste my time even thinking about you.  I suggest you do the same... you have what you want, isn't that enough?  I guess not, if it was... I wouldn't be front and center in your life.

I am an open book, I am the same here that I am in real life.  I don't hide behind my words, I don't pretend to think or act like I have it all together.  Quite the opposite, I say it like it is, I tell the truth... even if it's not what people want to hear. I know it makes people feel uncomfortable but I don't know how to be any other way. I am not what you want to think or say I am, I am so much better than that... Hopefully you will feel that way about yourself one day and realize the only real damage you are causing is to yourself...

This thought and post came about because it is Easter, a time to reflect on gratitude and forgiveness.  I realized I was angry at this person for continually trying to hurt me, I want to forgive them and move on, even if they keep trying to hurt me, I am going to ignore them.  Frankly they are not worth my time, they are not as important as they think they are... Is there someone in your life that is taking up space in your head and not in a good way?  Forgiveness is a choice. . .

Follow along!
Facebook //  Twitter //  Google Plus //  Bloglovin //  Instagram //  Pinterest //