A Two Week Break For Me

My new haircut after having 6-8 inches cut off

I am going to take a blog and social media break for the next two weeks, that is not going to be easy for me but it is needed. I love reading blogs, commenting on them and using social media to promote them when I am inspired to do so. However; for me, I am an all or nothing kind of girl and I spend more time reading blogs then I do studying. Well, it is a lot more fun but it won't get me a passing mark.

I am going to miss all of you, I am even deleting all my apps off my phone in the morning so that I will not be tempted to log into them. I promise you all if you do leave a comment here; when my exam is over, I will drop by to visit and comment on your blogs. Otherwise, I will just start fresh with my blogs when I come back as there will be no catching up after two weeks.

Did I tell you I am going to miss you all, with the past few weeks you all know how emotionally difficult this time has been for me with all the memories of 'Him', I have been so grateful for so many of you who have reached out to me through all the different media sites I am on, not to mention all the beautiful comments. A couple of examples, there are many... I had a sweet reader from England who asked if she could mail me something and she sent me the sweetest card that made me cry and lifted me up at the same time. Another reader from Australia who tweets me daily to check on me, I love all our conversations, we are like best friends even with the distance. There are so many more of you that are always there for me and I can never, ever thank you enough.

I will most certainly be back after my exam is written but for now, I really have to focus and that means I have to make hard choices for myself... otherwise in two weeks I may not be prepared and then I would be disappointed in myself.... I don't like disappointing anyone ... not even myself... So... I am off to prepare to study for the next few weeks... have an awesome two weeks and thank you all again for the wonderful support you continually give me. Two weeks is going to feel like an eternity...

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A Year From Now

The next few weeks are going to be insanely busy for me, I have my final exam I am taking in less then three weeks, so I will be studying every night until the final. I am still going to take a little time for myself to read blogs but I probably won't be able to comment as much as usual or write another post until then. I hope you all understand, once the exam is over I will be back to normal.

It's good though as the next few weeks are full of memory dates that hopefully I will be to busy to even notice any of them. Then as soon as I am finished the exam, I will be going full force with decorating my house and getting my first real Christmas tree in over twenty years. I am kind of excited, I had stopped getting real ones because I didn't want to worry about having to purchase a tree every year... this year I decided it was worth the extra effort to really go all out and make this year special. 

Valentina and I have been making plans of what we want to bake ... we are also making a list of people we want to deliver the treats to, we plan to take a few days around Christmas to drop over and visit people and give them a little special treat we made together. Valentina is very excited and I am too, I need to do something for other people so that I won't be thinking about myself and the dates filled with memories.

Usually I have Christmas dinner at home with Valentina but my sister has invited us over to her place with my niece and nephew and their families. I was so thrilled when she asked us to come over; first, I get to spend the holidays with my family and second I don't have to cook. By next year we will be moved as that is high on my list of priorities this summer, then hopefully I can host a Christmas dinner at my new place next year.

I am making the changes I need to make so that my holidays won't be the sad reminders they have been for the past couple of years.... I have known logically that I needed to make changes, I just didn't have what it took to make them... until now. I wish I had made them earlier but at least I am making the decision today...

I am not going to beat myself up for not deciding this earlier as feeling guilty won't change the past, it will only leave me feeling defeated and sad... as Maya Angelou said...  When you know better... you do better..

I've been thinking about how I finally made the decision to lose the weight, I had decided that I didn't want to be in the same place a year from then... It's the same thing here... in a year from now, I don't want to be thinking about the past memories of what ifs...  I want to be planning a wonderful Christmas without any sad memories taking over... Making new memories today will help me succeed even better next year...

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