All The Scars That Made Me Stronger

This last week was a week that gave me time to reflect, due to two massive snowstorms that essentially shut our city down. We had so much snow that it was actually a little scary... I thought about people who might need medical care or if a fire were to happen.

Thankfully I didn't lose power, so I just waited it out. I do live very close to a store that is open 24/7, so I ventured out there once the storm stopped. What normally takes me 3-4 minutes to get there, took me about 10-12 minutes of hard exercise. I used muscles I didn't even know I had.

We are all hoping this is the last of it, it's been a long hard Winter here that has made me think about some alternatives. Which I'll get into later after I look into my options more in depth. The Maritimes can be a tough place for the Winters, yet I am aware that all places have there weather issues.

It's much like the trials we have been given throughout our lives... we often think life would be easier without the challenges we have ... but truthfully aren't they what makes us who we are? Sometimes I feel so overwhelmed by them and I just want to hide but there's a part of me that won't allow that.

I'm sure many of you know that I was burned in a fire when I was 15 months old, I wrote about it in the post The Fire - 48 Years Ago. Over the years I have often wondered where I would be in this life if I had not had to deal with the trial of the fire. I learned early on that we are not truly loved for what we look like on the outside, that comes from who we really are on the inside.

I have thought over the years that my being scarred has prevented me from finding love. I have even had a few men tell me that it bothered them, which hurt but I came to the conclusion that if they could not see past the outer me, they were missing out on the real me.

I am the girl who would love someone with her whole heart and I would be tenacious enough to never give up because of superficial things. I feel sorry for the men I have met in my life who couldn't look past the scars I have...We all have them, some of ours are more visible than others.

Even though my life was incredibly difficult with having to live with the scars, I don't think I would change it if I could because I might not have learned that we are not truly loved for who we are on the outside, it is what is inside that counts.

I believe those scars made me stronger, kinder and more compassionate than I would have been without them. They helped me to be more real, more myself and more understanding... I wouldn't trade them for anything. 

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Looking For The Good In My Challenges

"Every positive change--every jump to a higher level of energy and awareness--involves a rite of passage. Each time to ascend to a higher rung on the ladder of personal evolution, we must go through a period of discomfort, of initiation. I have never found an exception."

- Dan Millman
I had a long day at work, not because it was busy by any means... it was actually pretty quiet, especially for a Monday.  It was a long day because I woke up earlier than normal so that I could finish the laundry and do my hair (that 45 minute to an hour job), thankfully I don't have to do it everyday or I am sure I would cut my hair... lol... as much as I love it, I couldn't imagine doing this every day for nearly an hour.  Anyhow, just before I left work, we all received an email about the shuttle service that they supply us with.  It will be cancelled the end of July... which is less than 90 days away. 
This is huge for anyone who takes the shuttle like myself because it will tack on another 30 to 45 minutes to my travel time.  I will be lucky to make it home by 6:30-7:00 at night, instead of 6:00.  I already have an eleven hour day, now I will have close to a twelve hour day. I feel like I take too much of my time away from Valentina and this is just more time.  I have decided not to worry about it for now, I will hopefully figure out something in the next few months.

"The strongest oak of the forest is not the one that is protected from the storm and hidden from the sun. It's the one that stands in the open where it is compelled to struggle for its existence against the winds and rains and the scorching sun.”

- Napoleon Hill
Although losing the shuttle service is not life threatening, it is another challenge I am having to face and the quote above reminds me that if I am being challenged regularly whether it is in big or small ways, it means I must be strong enough to deal with what is given to me.  I don't mind admitting that I am getting a little tired of each challenge handed to me, I honestly feel like saying 'really'?  Again? Which then makes me feel selfish and that reminds me why not me? 

I guess if life never threw us any curve balls, we would end up staying in the same place and never grow towards our actual potential... When I am going through these kinds of changes, I try to look for the good... sometimes it is really hard to see it, but if I wait long enough, the good almost always shows itself to me  down the road.  Just getting there is rough though... and always trying to see the positive side is not easy.

If anyone tells me it's all in the way I perceive it... I seriously want to slap them... lol.  I will come to my own on this, as I do with everything.  First I have to be angry than frustrated than I find a way to accept it... that is the way I deal with almost all changes.  I adore people that go with the flow, unfortunately I am not one of those people....  I have come a long way in the past ten years... At least now when a change happens, I take time to go through my frustration without it allowing it to control my every thought and mood.

 I cherish my past, I accept my present and I dream for my future ♥

Gaining Strength Through Adversity

First I want to apologize but I had to put on the comment moderation due to the fact that there has been so much spam lately.  You just won't be able to see your comment immediately.  I also wanted to give you a quick update on my leg.  I am healing slowly... I have got out for two small walks... maybe 15 to 30 minutes, a bit exhausting for me but I am taking my time.

Wellness, ease, synchronicity, and tiny miracles are delicious indicators that I'm in tune with myself, my message, my purpose, and my innermost essence. ~ Dina Proctor

This quote touched me to the core, for this has been true in my life, when I am in tune with myself, I am peaceful with me.  Lately I have been going through something personal that I haven't talked about because I have decided to be as positive and uplifting that I can be on my blog.  So, I have been coping with this on my own, I am finding that although it is painful... I can see how it will be okay, eventually.

This is just a process that I have to go through so that I can be in tune with myself... to really understand my innermost essence.  It's because I can see that everything will work out the way it was meant to that I can get through this most painful time.  I am grateful that I know this will only be short term, this won't last.

One day I even hope to look back and see that I became stronger because of it and maybe I will even be able to smile... That is when we really learn the lesson and we stop making the same mistake over and over.  I still have many of those lessons to learn, I am taking them one at a time....

"The flower that blooms in adversity is the rarest and most beautiful of all." ~ Walt Disney

I cherish my past, I accept my present and I dream for my future ♥