How Do I Know It's My Truth?

I heard something this morning that made me really think.  It was how I must have given up on what I wanted because I stopped believing in the truth.  I knew as I know now that I want to be unwavering.  Why did I waiver?  It's like I didn't want to succeed.

I've been praying for many things lately, one thing that I never strayed from, I actually gave up for about a week.  Then lo and behold, I see what happened by my giving up on what I knew should be.  Then I wondered if it has to be like this for me to grow?

Maybe if I were to get my way so easily that I would just settle for less.  The
more I have to pray for something, the stronger I become knowing the path that leads me to my truths.   I was questioning this a lot this week, wondering if I really knew what was right.   I came to the conclusion that I'm even stronger in my belief of where I'm meant to be.

Sometimes it is the hard times where the answer is no for just now.  However; keeping the faith for the future as the answer will not always be no, the future is as I've dreamed it will be.

I think it could have happened sooner but I wasn't ready for it, I'm preparing to be ready at a moments notice.  Any day I could be called to be ready, ready to make a change just like that.   I will be ready for the change when it happens, I will rise to the challenge, the challenge of truth.

I will follow the path I'm meant to be on, follow to wherever it leads!  One day my hearts desire will  lead me home to where I'm meant to be; exactly where I've known all along I should be.   

What is your truth and how can you follow it?   I have to have a strong belief, I have to pray never ending and I have to never give up on what I truly know.

"Everything you want, also wants you" ~ Jack Canfield 

True Friends Want You To Be Yourself

"Friends can help each other. A true friend is someone who lets you have total freedom to be yourself-and especially to feel. Or, not feel. Whatever you happen to be feeling at the moment is fine with them. That's what real love amounts to-letting a person be what he really is."
~Jim Morrison

I love this quote, it is exactly what a friend is to me, I do not try to change my friends to be what I want them to be, I accept and love them for who they are.  I have had many "friends" over the years but until I had reconnected with David, I didn't realize that I didn't have a friend who just loved me for me.  He wasn't out to change me, he wasn't trying to make me see his way.  Also, I just read a blog from Mastin Kipp, "The Daily Love" and he stated what I truly believe, I don't love people for what they can give me, I love them for who they are.  I will love David no matter where life takes me, I don't have limits on our relationship.  I won't stop loving him just because he might not love me that way. 

As painful at it can sometimes be, not having someone love you the way you want... it is so much better to have them in your life than not.   I wish everyone could understand and feel the love of someone who loves you for who you are, truly loves you for who you are and not for what you give them.  I am close to 49 years of age and I finally experienced that kind of love and it has been the most amazing love I have ever had in my life.  I am not saying by any means that it is easy, it's not but I couldn't or wouldn't want to imagine my life without him in it.

When I need someone to be real with me, honest and open, I turn to him.  I don't want someone that will judge me and I don't want someone who will just agree with me.  Last week when I was going through a particularly rough time with work, people were telling me their take on it, they weren't really listening to me.  They thought I was afraid, I am not... I am just not interested, when I talked to David, he saw through it and realized, no... I am not afraid, I am just not interested.  He got it right away, I didn't have to explain myself.

Then he told me the truth, there is no easy answer, it was either make them understand, do what they ask or find something else I love.  There is no simple answer there, there is only truth.  Someone else could tell me the same thing and people did but until he said it because it came from the heart, I didn't listen.   All we really want in the life is to be heard, to be understood and to be loved.

I will love David no matter what, my feelings don't stop just because his are not equal to mine.  I love him for him as I love all my friends.  I love them for who they are and I want people to know that if they come to me from their heart, I will listen... if they are not trying to change me but just love me, I will listen.  I will do the same for them.

I don't want anyone to get the wrong idea about this post, I have had many wonderful friends in my life and I still do but I've never felt this safe with anyone in my life.  I am not afraid to be me, completely and fully.  I want nothing more than to be just myself with him.  I don't think.. should I say this?  or should I say that?  I am just me.  It's the only way I know how to be with him, anything less would mean I was a fake.  



"A friend is someone who understands your past, believes in your future, and accepts you just the way you are." ~ Nate Kay

We're not perfect.  We laugh too hard.  We are way too loud & we are such dorks.  But doing it together is what makes us best friends forever♥

"Everything you want, also wants you" ~ Jack Canfield

Happy Birthday Canada

I am so thankful for living in this country Canada.  I'm free and blessed to have been born and raised here.  Although I have a huge desire to travel the world, mostly in Europe and Australia; I truly would love to see all of the world.  But I would always want to be able to come home to this amazing country Canada.

I know that I am also grateful for our medical programs.  Yes sometimes we might have to wait for care but we are not financially punished for being ill.  I couldn't imagine living in other countries that didn't take care of their people. 

I'm free to worship the way I want and not be persecuted.  I know there are still many more countries that do not have this freedom, that is SO sad.  I pray for these countries to be more like Canada; to give their people a choice.

Canada can always be better and the way for it to better would be for us to stand up and be a better people.  This is not up to our government, this is up to each individual person in this beautiful country.

I am truly grateful for our freedom and I am grateful for the people who stand up for us against countries that would attempt to change our freedoms.  Thank you to the men and women in the Army, Navy and Air Force.

Happy Birthday Canada!!




O Canada!

Our home and native land!
True patriot love in all thy sons command.

With glowing hearts we see thee rise,
The True North strong and free!

From far and wide,
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.

God keep our land glorious and free!
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.

O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.

"Everything you want, also wants you" ~ Jack Canfield

My Love, My Best Friend

Do you remember a time when you were really happy?  You know a time where you smiled on the inside and out.  It's been a long time for me.  I have had some really happy moments lately but I haven't had that insane happiness.  The ones I had with David through the two months of November and December in 2011.  I had the most amazing holidays, I'll never forget how happy and wonderful it was.  In my heart it's real <3

I love that you love me, I love that you are to there to catch me but most of all I love that you're my best friend.

I had a dream come true, my fairy tale love , my one and only.  He's everything I've always wanted and now it's so hard that we are apart.  Every other day I think I can't do this, I can't be only friends, I can't be without him.  My emotions are on a roller coaster, I try so hard to keep myself together.  I don't want to make it harder on him or on myself.  I know that even if I do make it hard on him, he will be there for me no matter what.  We are best friends, we are soul mates.

Yet if I really love him, I have to let him go.  As painful as that will be, it is the right thing to do.  Because I love him I want him to be happy, my love letter to you, even though I know I would/could make him insanely happy; he has to want that from me.   No one on this earth or anywhere else will ever love him as much as I do.  I am willing to let him go but we will always be best friends.  Whenever I need him, he will be there and whenever he needs me, I will be there.

The truth is that no one knows what the future and the eternities hold, I have faith that everything will be as it should be.

"Everything you want, also wants you" ~ Jack Canfield
 

My Love Letter To You

All day I have been thinking about what I want/need to write about today.  I keep coming back to this since every thought is about you and every song is there to remind me of you.  I have truly loved very few people in my life, for a reason...  I have been hurt when I have loved.  You were right when you told me that I gave permission for people to hurt me and I am taking back that power now.  It is not okay to hurt me anymore, I deserve better... I deserve love.

I sit here thinking why did I ever give that power to anyone?  What was it about me that made me feel less than what I am?  Until you came along and showed me that I deserved more, I didn't believe it... So I finally believed I deserved the best and that was you, then all of that came crashing down on me too. although you love me, you don't love me the way I love you.  How is it that I finally learned to love myself and then I lose you?  I have been waiting my whole life to have someone make me feel as special and as wonderful as you have made me feel.

Not once did I ever feel demeaned by you, you always made me feel special and beautiful.  It's exactly what I have always wanted and needed in my life, you have been all that I have ever desired or wanted.  The only good thing about this is that you still want to be a part of my life, still want to be as close to me as you are now.   Sometimes it is so hard to have you there part way but I couldn't imagine not having you there at all.  That would break my heart beyond repair.

I know you will always be there for me as I will always be there for you... Always!!!  Like I have told you on many occasions and I really mean it, I cannot stop loving you just because... I am not built like that.  When I love, it's from my soul... it's not something that I can just stop.  Just as I know I cannot change that you don't love me the same way, that will have to be okay for I would rather have you in my life in small ways than in no way.

Why did you have to be so wonderful and so easy to love, it would be easier for me if you were a jerk like most men... but that is not your way.  I find it hard to believe anyone could walk away from you, they are foolish and they don't deserve you.  You deserve someone who knows how amazing and wonderful you are, just as I deserve the same things.   We both accepted less in the past, maybe you were there for me to know that and maybe I am there for you to learn that too.

Whatever happens in the future, no one and I mean no one will ever love you as much as I do... remember that forever.

                        Why I love you Baby

You know all there is know about me and yet you

never hold any of it against me.

You helped me see the divine potential inside myself,

that I was unable to see.

There is only kindess, gentleness, honesty and an

open heart with us. I feel like we are soul mates,

we understand each other totally.

I love you with my mind, my body, my heart and my soul

Written by me for you