Although I am no where near where I want to be, I at least see myself on a path. The past couple of weeks I have gained my voice back. First I stood up for myself in family court against my ex, second I allowed myself to open up about how I have had to deal with my ex and all the ramifications of that relationship, I feel stronger. Third and most important is that I want better for myself, I don't just want second best, the reason I ended up with my ex is that I accepted less than I deserved.
We all deserve better and we shouldn't accept any less than that. This has all helped me to be in a happier mood, not one that is holding on to the past. I am sure I will have more hard days but these last few weeks I have felt like there is a light at the end of the tunnel. It has taken me almost three years since that awful night for me to finally see a light.
I am not going to sit back any longer, I am going to be using my voice and standing up for myself whenever the need arises. This was truly who I was before I met Andrey, before I allowed him to take that away from me. It must be shocking to Andrey that I am standing up to him, not letting him control me. I don't want anyone to control me and in turn I don't want to control anyone else.
I lost my passion for life when I met Andrey and allowed him to be my voice. When I did that, I gave up dreaming and hoping for better. I am finally feeling like dreaming and hoping and most of all, I am looking for passion. I want to find the things I know that will uplift me and help me to grow. I never want to give away my voice again. I almost gave away myself... no one should ever do that.
Getting Excited For Spring
I'm starting to feel a change in myself, a good change. I can feel that spring is close by, which is making me want to set goals, to walk and exercise more, both me and Valentina. I know that once I start exercising for an hour or so every evening, I am sure I will be able to sleep better which will help improve my mood for the good. So, I am excited, change can be so good. It can make life so wonderful.
Also, I am looking forward to spending that time with Valentina with no distractions. She and I can take the time to bond more, we are already so close now and it could only make it better. Plus this summer Andrea and Paul are having their first child, yippee. I am so excited for both of them, it is a new and challenging chapter in their relationship. They need to remember to stick together and don't let the children divide them, lol.
I am interested in what the future holds, the next chapter of my life. I am happy that I am content being me, I am more secure in who I am. I feel like there is a light at the end of the tunnel, it feels wonderful. I don't like having regrets so I try to live my life in a way so that I don't have any.
When I was younger, I was so set in my ways, I believed things were one way and one way only. The older I get the more I realize how untrue that is. Some of the choices I have made later in my life, were ones that I never ever would have thought of making even in my 30's. I am glad that I became more open minded, I end up understanding people and being way less judgemental, which is fantastic.
Also, I am looking forward to spending that time with Valentina with no distractions. She and I can take the time to bond more, we are already so close now and it could only make it better. Plus this summer Andrea and Paul are having their first child, yippee. I am so excited for both of them, it is a new and challenging chapter in their relationship. They need to remember to stick together and don't let the children divide them, lol.
I am interested in what the future holds, the next chapter of my life. I am happy that I am content being me, I am more secure in who I am. I feel like there is a light at the end of the tunnel, it feels wonderful. I don't like having regrets so I try to live my life in a way so that I don't have any.
When I was younger, I was so set in my ways, I believed things were one way and one way only. The older I get the more I realize how untrue that is. Some of the choices I have made later in my life, were ones that I never ever would have thought of making even in my 30's. I am glad that I became more open minded, I end up understanding people and being way less judgemental, which is fantastic.
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