Forgiving Each Other Shows Love

The only thing that matters now is my mission.  Nothing will stand in the way anymore. 

Relaxing and stretching for the last two days has really helped to rejuvenate my legs... as well I have had a few people inbox me with great suggestions that I am going to try.  I am trying everything possible not to plateau for the next couple of weeks as I know that it is inevitable... I am not living in LuLu land as I know some people think I am... I know that I will have times that will be frustrating but I am in this for the long haul... this is a lifestyle change not a quick diet to get me to a certain weight.  I don't even think I have a weight in mind anymore, I just want to feel healthy... I want to like my look in the mirror and lately I am really liking what I am seeing.

What I wanted to write about today came from a lesson I heard at church today, it was about forgiveness which I feel is essential to all of us.  I have heard people say I cannot forgive this person for whatever wrong they did and I feel sorry for them... because forgiveness isn't saying that it is okay what someone did to you, nor is it saying you have to let that person back into your life... it is saying that you are letting it go so that it frees you and it shows love.  Don't all of us want more love in our lives?  I know that I do... I want to feel true forgiveness for other people who have hurt me in someway as I don't want them to have any power over me.
Each time we do not forgive someone it holds us to the other person, I don't want this for me... I hope you don't want this for you either.  I have some very good friends who are doing this in their life right now and it makes me want to cry for them, they don't understand that if they just forgive the person who hurt them, that the person will not have power over them any longer. Do I think it is easy to forgive someone for hurting you?  No... but once you do it, it is almost empowering... Andrey raped me, it nearly destroyed me and it could have broken me but I forgave him, that does not mean that I want him back in my life in anyway... it means that one night is not going to control my emotions for the rest of my life.

Does he feel sorry, I don't know and truthfully I don't care anymore.  None of it matters, what matters is that I came through that and I didn't let it destroy me... I allowed myself to love and be loved because for a long time I let that night control my actions and I didn't love myself, I allowed myself to be used... trying to fill up how empty I felt inside. It wasn't until I was willing to forgive Andrey for raping me that I saw my worth and I wanted more for myself.  Forgiving him, helped me to love myself and allowed me to love David... I cannot explain it well enough but truthfully forgiving each other shows love.  Every last one of us makes mistakes, wouldn't you want to be forgiven for that?  Do you want to live with that pain for the rest of your life?  Well I don't, I like being free, I don't want anyone being in control of me... forgiving him helped me to be free.

I know that message in the lesson was for me as I have been thinking about my David and I realized that I needed to forgive him too... what do I need to forgive him for...?  I need to forgive him for letting me fall in love with him when he was not ready, looking back now I can see that it just wasn't a good time, he was still wrapped up in his previous relationship.  Of course he was still involved emotionally, it was only five months since he had broken up a long term relationship and I know now that it takes so much longer to get past that...  I was ready for real love, David was not because he had to come to terms with his past relationship. 
I know I have written about forgiveness a few times in the past and I have even written about having to forgive David but part of me thought why?  What did I have to forgive him for?  Today I was given the answer, today I knew that until I forgive him for thinking he was ready to love again, I will never be able to move on and be truly happy... I will sit here and wonder why for the rest of my life and is that what I want for me?  No... it's not even what I want for my David.  As I have lost the weight and lived a much healthier life, I have seen a change in me, a good one. 

I know that some people, actually many people think that I am losing this weight for David, not at all.  I am losing this for me, I am getting healthy for me...  I wanted to stop all the excuses I had, the ones where I said I don't have time to exercise, I can't give up certain foods or I can't change certain behaviors.  In nine weeks I have proven all those things to be excuses, I can exercise, I can give up food that is unhealthy and has no redeeming qualities about it, I can change my behavior in ways such as not thinking I am deprived.  Changing my lifestyle was something I was ready for, something that gives me joy and something that is making great changes in my life. 

A small part of me wants to look extremely good when I go to Alberta, I want to walk off that plane and I want to shock David, I like shocking people... even myself... I love seeing all the changes in me...  But I am not losing any of this weight for David, losing the weight is not going to make him love me.  If I thought that for one moment, I would just end up with disappointment and then I would come home and put all the weight back on. I want to see him so that we can talk, face to face... I want to be able to hug him, I felt safe in his arms and I want him to know that I care about him no matter what.

Above all I want to learn to forgive myself, I want to show love to myself... if anything I am harder on me than I am on anyone else in my life... I deserve forgiveness as much as anyone else in my life deserves it... Actually if I cannot forgive myself, how do I ever expect anyone else to forgive me for my poor choices or mistakes?  Don't we all deserve that?  Don't you?
I cherish my past, I accept my present and I dream for my future ♥ 

31 comments :

  1. I think it's great you are forgiving and forgetting people who have hurt you. It really doesn't matter whether they deserve it or not, you have to do it for yourself! I used to be one to hold a grudge forever but I have finally forgiven everyone in my past. I realized it was wearing on my ability to be a good mom and wife not to. I feel a lot better without that anger in my heart. Now I can dream about the future and anything seems possible. :)

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    1. Thank you Camille, I completely agree with you... I wish my my friends could see that, it would change their lives :)

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  2. I think you hit the nail on the head at the end of yuor post when you speak of forgiving yourself...we are so often caught up in forgiving others that we often forget to forgive ourself don't we?

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    1. Thank you Keith, that is so true... we need to learn to forgive ourselves ;-)

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  3. You are doing it and with such a wonderful attitude. I'm soooooo happy for you.
    Blessings!!!!

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    1. Thank you Suzanne, I am feeling great and blessed :)

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  4. Hi Launna, You are doing great, Forgiveness is a freedom, what all we can do forgive everyone including ourself1 I wont carry any with me, it's takes too much energy to not forgive!

    have a lovely and blessed week launna!

    http://www.attraction2fashion.com

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    1. Thank you Tanya... I wish more people could learn forgiveness is really showing love and for themselves :)

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  5. Whether it's an inability to forgive others, or an inability to forgive oneself, that festering anger is a poison, and it's gotta go!

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    1. Thank you Susan, I totally agree... for us to move ahead we need to forgive:)

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  6. yes letting it go >.< it's not easy as well.. xD

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    1. Thank you Inge... letting go is not easy.... but it is doable :)

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  7. I agree with you!! We have to learn how to forgive!

    Xoxo!

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    1. Thank you Fashion Lover... learning to forgive is so very important :)

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  8. Forgiveness for ourselves and for others is a wonderful thing. It certainly is freeing, I think, to be able to let something go and get on with life. Nice post, Launna.

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    1. Thank you Daisy, I wish more people understood how freeing it was to themselves:)

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  9. I love what you said about every time we don't forgive a person it holds us to them---it allows them to have power over us. So true! Happy to hear you are able to forgive yourself and David and continue to move forward with life improvements!

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    1. Thank you Marcia... I really don't want anyone else having power over me... I wish my friend could see that... they could be free too... :-/

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  10. Stopping by to wish you a nice day launna!

    http://www.attraction2fashion.com

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    1. Thank you so much Tanya... you are SO sweet girl ;-)

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  11. that´s a very nice post, launna! love it!
    www.frozenberries.blogspot.de

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    1. Thank you Julie... I appreciate the lovely comment ;-)

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  12. launna, I have no point of reference for all you've been through. My prayer for you is the you find the happiness you deserve.

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    1. Thank you Rick... I truly appreciate your comment and prayers:)

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  13. I am so happy to hear you are forgiving yourself and others. It does make you so much happier and healthier. You have done so many good things for yourself these last few months. I hope you keep progressing in your weight loss and your emotional well being. You are an amazing person.

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    1. Thank you so much Betty... isn't it great when you get the vision to get healthy:)

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  14. We really are our own toughest critics aren't we? Forgiving others is great, it means you can make peace with whatever it was they had over you (like you said, the power) but forgiving ourselves never seems that easy. I applaud you for taking the steps (literally and figuratively!) toward doing just that. You deserve every happiness in this world!

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    1. Thank you Jenn... I am working extra hard to forgive myself it is one of my ways of becoming more of who I am... Your comments always make me smile because they are so straight forward and from the heart :)

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  15. Forgiveness has not always been an easy thing to do but by not doing so, you can end up making yourself sick. It's not worth it, especially when the person you hold a grudge against is having a good time living their life without a care in the world.
    Don't allow someone else to hold you back from having a bright future.

    You're doing well Launna, you've got a good heart.

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    1. Thank you Rum Punch...I really appreciate the comment.. I want to have a good heart :-)

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  16. Easier said than done, but you've a point. You're right! Not forgiving is giving some a rent free space in your heart and that's not good. I'm working on forgiving myself, because of my past mistakes and not-so-good decisions. I'm hard on myself than I am with others. Don't know why. May God guide us all.
    Have a blessed week ahead. :)

    http://missymayification.blogspot.co.uk

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I love and appreciate all genuine comments, to save a little time, I won't be commenting on the comments on my blog (unless you don't have a blog), I will just visit your blog and comment there, if you have left a meaningful comment for me... I would much rather spend the time reading and commenting on a few extra blogs ❤