The Light Always Shows Through In Time

It's been awhile since I blogged, I was hoping to come back with a little positive news... I saw my doctor, she prescribed a medication that has side effects I am not fond of, it makes me groggy all the time and it makes me dizzy... which is not good while working, I end up being a little loopy. It's only been about a week and a half, I know medications take time to work, so I am giving it a chance. ... I am not feeling hopeful as the pain has not lessened in my legs at all... if anything there is more pain.

Friday I took a vacation day and pampered myself by getting my hair cut and colored, it has been a long time... it took them seven hours (it's a school) ... I got some more purple in my hair and got a root touch up, plus fixed what I did while I didn't go to a professional... I won't wait so long in between, it normally doesn't take them that long. It feels good to have it done, it makes a difference, it gives me a boost. I plan to get an updated picture this week, once I do my make up and have my friend over to take the picture.
Even though I think things feel bleak at the moment for my health, I am trying to stay hopeful... maybe these pills won't work but something else might... I want to thank everyone who reached out to me, either through the blog, email or messenger. One person gave me hope as she went through something similar quite a few years ago. It took awhile but her doctor figured out what the issue was and she was able to get her health back, along with her life.

Our spring is just around the corner, or at least we hope it is... there still seems to be a little more snow on the way but I know the spring will be here before we know it and winter will be a distant memory... although it is painful to walk, I am going to walk a little each day, even if it is only for 10 minutes ... despite not feeling like it, I don't want to stop moving completely. I've seen people who have given up, I find they just get worse... I don't want that to happen to me.
I was talking to a friend of mine in Australia and I told her that I felt like I was being selfish because the pain I have been dealing with is all that I can think of or talk about... she was kind enough to tell me that she didn't feel I was being selfish and that it was human nature to focus on ourselves when we are in pain... it made me think how there have been so many times in my life that different types of pain have taken over my life... when I was raped I wondered if I would ever see the good in men and trust them again... I did. Then losing 'him' I wondered if I could love again ... it took me a long time but I think I could.

Pain has a way of making us selfish, I think it's a way of protecting ourselves at times... at others, I feel like it helps us to look inwards to find answers... it ends up showing us that we are stronger than we think we are, we learn that no matter how difficult emotional or physical it is... there is a way through...  I always hold on to that in my toughest times, it might seem dark and that there is no way through... but the light always shows through in time...
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73 comments :

  1. Dear Launna, I hope the pills are effective very soon and you get better. It's great you have taken some time off for you. I hope in a couple of weeks you are enjoying spring and feeling much better.

    Jasmine x

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  2. Yes, Launna. Pain makes us strong in ways we never wanted to be strong! I hear you and, as you know, have been in your shoes. I don't know if anyone mentioned this to you but have you ever tried wrapping up in an electric blanket on low just to ease the achiness/pain? I do that almost year round....even running the air conditioning I do it. Even though my body runs "warm", I do it. It helps me. I think you just try different things until you fall on the combination that works for you.
    Make SURE you tell the dr that these make you groggy and dizzy. That one med that I had made me feel exhausted part of the time and a bit foggy, but it is the one that finally worked...and I think it put my body into a restive state which is why I had the side effects that I did---and finally my body adjusted to the meds and while I was tired-I didn't feel as groggy or loopy. They might also be able to give you something that will have a counter-effect on the side effects of the one you are on....or there may be a whole other option for you. Hang in there! They are working on it and, combined with prayer, I believe you will find some relief.
    Praying for you and sending you love- xo Diana

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  3. I know pain is hard to ignore. My knees are bone on bone and walking is painful. Take care of yourself. I hope the new meds help you.
    R

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  4. Pain can be a consuming thing and twist us to not focus on anyone else...and justify hurting others..... that being said no Launna you aren't a selfish person at all. I'm really sorry about the pain in your legs and the doctor's lack of solution. what about physical therapy? Also look into restorative yoga- there are specific yoga practices that focus exclusively on strengthening joints and ligaments and repairing damage. Hugs to you, as always you are an amazing person. Be kind to yourself, you are doing your best and this life is HARD. xoxo

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  5. I hope your new treatment will help you soon or that your doctor will find something else that will work for you. I think walking even ten minutes at a time is going in the right direction. If you can find a way to do that twice a day, even better. I find if I don't try to do at least a little bit of exercise each day, I soon grow so stiff I can barely move. Sending good thoughts your way.

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  6. Awe Launna, this made me emotional. I feel for you, I really do. I don't think you're being selfish at all. You're in a lot of pain right now, of course you're going to want to talk about it. It's taking over your everyday life. That's normal to only be able to think and talk about something so big like that going on in your life. I really hope they figure out something to help you because it sounds awful. 😕 I'm on a couple different medications for some different things and sometimes the side effects are worse than the actual problem itself. So you have to change meds and then figure out what THOSE side effects are. Eventually I'm sure they'll be able to find something for you though. Something has to work. I'll be praying for you. 💖 I hope your week gets better and you're able to feel some relief. xo

    xo, Sarah
    Hustla, baby.

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  7. Launna, I am so sorry that the meds are making you feel dizzy and groggy! I hope that there is another med that will relieve the pain and help with your condition but that does not have these nasty and unwanted side effects. I am happy to hear that you are not giving up hope! When I am feeling down I always try to say this to myself: "There is sunshine somewhere, even if it may not be in my heart at this time". Sending you much love and warm hugs.

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  8. No, you're not being selfish and I'm glad that you are someone who opens up and talk about whatever that is bothering you. I have a friends who refuse to share because she was afraid of being a bother and that actually hurts because I would never ever think of her that way and I hoped that I have proven myself to be a 'thick and thin' friend. So talk it out and share what's bothering you because trust me your true friends are there for you sincerely. Hugs, Launna and I look forward to your new picture. xx

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  9. Sometimes pain is important, to show us the direction we need to go next. You are definitely not being selfish - you need to take care of yourself and focus on what needs to be done to begin feeling better. Having my hair done always gives me a lift too - can't wait to see the new picture! Have a wonderful week :)!

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  10. This is so true. When we're in pain, we tend to build a wall around us and sometimes get absorbed in our pain. Like we get blinded by pain.

    This is inspirational, Launna. So many could relate (including me).

    I hope you feel better now. Good to see you back!

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  11. Hi Launna, it's great to hear that you have been always positive. God bless you. I wish you quick recovery and good health! Keep sharing your thoughts.

    With lots of love and wishes from the Himalayan kingdom of Bhutan.

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  12. I am sending you big hugs! You will get through this, I'm just sorry you have to go through it.

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  13. Muito obrigada, Launna! Espero chegar logo em 1.000! ;D

    É sempre bom tirar alguns dias pra nos cuidar, né?! Vou aguardar pela imagem atualizada. Sei que sua saúde não está bem agora, mas você vai se recuperar! Você vai ver!

    Ótima terça!

    Beijo! ^^

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  14. Oh no, Launna! :(
    I hope you feel better very very soon!
    Sometimes we truly need to switch the restart button! Please take some time for yourself and get a deserved rest! Sending lots of love and warm sun from Florida! ♥

    Happy Tuesday!
    xoxo Suzy ( ˘ ³˘)♥
    THE KAWAII PLANET

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  15. Great you stick with the purple hair colour, it looks so cool!

    Hope your pills will work better eventually. I had a friend who went to some massage to deal with his pain, and after it everything felt even worse, but was told that those are just first effects when body needs to clean up. It helped a lot eventually. Hope it works the same with your medicine.

    Wish you a wonderful week, stay possitive as always <3
    Kisses

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  16. I'm glad to have you back, Launna. I understand medicine can take its time to make an effect and i can see you're handling it well. One usually tends to get too anxious as we want results NOW, and so we mess with the process our bodies need to heal. You're doing right at giving this new medicine a chance, but if it doesn't make you feel better it would be okay that you inform it to your doctor.
    Don't ever feel selfish about talking about your problems, my sweet friend. That's what we all do because we're naturally worried about something. Just remember we are always here to read whatever you're experiencing: the good and the bad. :)

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  17. When we are in pain it can be hard to focus on other things because the pain is real and we are experiencing it. It is hard to move on, but I am glad you are taking steps like trying to go for short walks and going to the doctor. Sometimes it does take a while before the doctor figures out what is ailing us, but at least things are being tried and tested. I am sorry the new medicine has some not so great side effects- but hopefully they lessen with time and the medicine (or another one) makes you feel better.

    I am glad you took a day for yourself. I am always amazed at how happy and light I feel after a haircut (and anything else that goes with it). That is a step in the right direction too!

    Don't ever feel selfish or bad about sharing your thoughts with us. We all care about you and want you to have a place that is safe where you can express your thoughts. Sending hugs and hoping for good days ahead for you!
    ~Jess

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  18. I hope your new medication helps Launna. I am taking methotrexate injections and it's not fun. I am always so groggy, nauseous and it's no fun. It's helpful to take some time off . I have taken a lot of time off blogging and it helps.
    Simera |Beautetude

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  19. Oh no, how horrible that the medication is not helping - hopefully you can talk to your doctor and they can let you know if it's going to improve soon or if there is another medication you need to take. Your friend is right, you're not being selfish, you need to be kind to yourself and take care of yorself.

    Hope you are having a better week so far.

    Away From The Blue Blog

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  20. Did you ask the doctor how long it was supposed to take before you noticed an improvement? If it hasn't helped yet and you're having unpleasant side effects, maybe it's time to try something new? Good luck, kiddo. We're all pulling for you. I know how debilitating pain can be.

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  21. You seem like the type of person I would get along with. You are compassionate and nice. I understand you were forced to deal with stuff that were not easy and salute you for keeping your head up. Lots of people would be crushed or negative. I love reading your posts, but lots of times I don`t know what to comment because I have nothing to add that is as beautiful as your writing. Hope the medication will eventually work, I get how frustrating that can be.

    Check out my giveaway

    http://dreamland1234.blogspot.si/2017/04/giveaway-with-free-book-bath-bombs-and.html

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  22. Huh. I've never seen pain as a way of making us selfish, but it can definitely have that affect. I remember when the last night of my father's life when I sat at his bed side, administering water through a dropper and trying to ease his overly-dry throat, he looked at me like, "What in the world are you doing to me, and why? Meanie-head." There's definitely a difference between that stage of pain and what we deal with every day, but it wasn't until that moment I ever saw my father act out of character. Pain can change us, but only if we give in. Keep up the good fight and remember that even if we can't see the reasons now, one day we will understand why we're called to pass through each and every moment of suffering.

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  23. I'm doing the happy dance right now because I'm proud that you focused on doing something fun to make you feel better, and I can't wait to see new pics of your hair. As women, we're conditioned to ignore our pains because we focus on others and their pain. So don't ever feel selfish for doing what you choose to do at any given moment. You are such a kind heart and deserve the best. Hugs...

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    1. Hey There! Waiting on my pics of the fab new 7 hour hairstyle, girl!(lol) Stay strong. Hugs...RO

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  24. Sorry the medication isn't working, Launna. That's not good :( I really hope they can find something else that will work for you and you're able to remain positive. Selfishness and pain is a weird one, sometimes if I'm really bad I definitely revert inwards and the sole focus is on myself and usually that's not the case, so it might be a protective instinct perhaps, you might be right. You're not selfish though. It's only normal to want to get better and heal. Can't wait for a new photo of your hair!

    Raindrops of Sapphire

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  25. Hi Launna, just keep on holding and be brave. I know you are strong. I'm sure everything will work out for you! I'll say a little prayer for your health :) Anyway, I'm glad you got your hair done. I've always wanted to try purple. Hoping to see an updated photo of yours! :)

    also, with regards to the comment you left on my quarter life crisis blog post: thank you so much for the assurance Launna! You're making me feel so much better. currently experiencing a bit of an after effect from the experience. Hopefully though, this will be over sooner than later. hehe. Thanks so much!

    Have a nice rest of the week dear Launna! :)

    xoxo, rae
    http://www.raellarina.net

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  26. Hi Launna.. I am sorry to hear abt the leg pain that is troubling you.. with age come so many problems i know... I hope u feel better soon.. Every pain in life whether it is physical,emotional or mental does teach us something.. Also I would be happy to see ur new hair color, looking forward to the pic.. have a great weekend xoxo

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  27. I had no idea Launna, I hope the doctors figure out what is wrong in regards to your symptoms soon. Keep on trying to move, it is a must for your physical and mental health. Sometimes you have to be selfish when it comes to your health in order to be able to heal. There is nothing wrong with that. Just keep on doing your best. Well wishes to you for a healthier and happier time in your life.
    Much Love,
    Tania
    http://inspiremyfancy.blogspot.com

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  28. So glad to see a new post from you. I do hope things will look up and you can find a way to get back to exercising the way you want to help. I have one friend who finds going to the spa, helps wonders..and like you said, getting that pampering does give you a better outlook on life.

    We have had lots of gray days since the 25th of March. On the upside, the rain has greened things up. Of course, just before the sun warms things up..we have to have a freeze.

    Here's wishing you a wonderful Easter. Thank you so much for being here.

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  29. Launna, I am so sorry that the medications are making you feel dizzy and groggy. If this doesn't improve perhaps the Doctor can help with a different prescription. But I hope you find some relief from the pain.

    So pleased to read you've pampered yourself, days like this do boost our feel good levels.

    Take Care my blogging friend.
    I send you my good wishes

    All the best Jan

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  30. Dearest Launna, I'm sad to know that things have been so tough lately, and the medication has had dreadful side effects. It's always worth discussing these side effects with your doctor, in case there is an alternative. It's a positive thing that you're determined to do some walking every day, to whatever level you can. I can't stress enough how important it is to stay mobile, to the extent you can. I wish I could make more specific recommendations, but is there any value in alternative therapies? Some people find a combination approach helpful, as conventional medicine has its drawbacks.

    I just want to say I'm thinking of you, and if you'd like to talk in more detail about anything, please do get in touch with me (I can always be reached through the 'contact' option on my blog, and will get back to you).

    I hope you have a positive week ahead and things get better for you soon.

    Lots of love Saba xx

    www.trulymadlydeeplyfashion.blogspot.com

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    1. Hi Launna. I just wanted to check in with you and find out how you've been. I know you've been going through a difficult time lately. I do hope you're feeling better. Lots of love Saba xx

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  31. Hey Launna,

    Thank you for being so supportive of my blogging... I saw your comments over the last month or two and I was just so slammed with teaching and starting up a new blog (All the Ambience!!) that I did not stop to check out my favorite bloggers. Which was a bummer... blogging is life!!! Ha ha! But yes, thank you again and I hope you continue to follow me in my new blog space...

    I am sorry to read that you've recently been going through it, particularly with medication. But as you mentioned, remain hopeful. That's always best!!

    With Love & Style,
    ♥ Amber
    ALL THE AMBIENCE

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  32. Dear Launna!
    I hope you are feeling much better and spring is finally there! Good thoughts and best wishes from sunny Latvia :)

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  33. Hi there dear Launna!! I´m sorry to hear, that those pills havent done the job yet- I understand that you have been waiting so long to something to help. And something will, as they will find it! Stay strong honey and as you do now, walk on... there will be day, when all that pain is just a bad memory... one day...it will... <3 <3 xoxoxo Hard times now, all one can do is just like you did: a bit pamper yourself. That is a good thing to do...oh, and I really want to see a pic! :D take care and I´m here!!!

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  34. Hi launna.. Hopefully you are better soon. Beside medicine from doctor don't forget to be happy and relaxed, it can help to booster. I wanna see yours hair. Take a picture and share it. Well I agree with your friends it's not selfish but human nature or just one way to protect our self.

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  35. I hope the medicine works, and you feel better soon! Happy Spring!

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  36. Dear Launna, I hope you are getting better and the pain has dismiss. I'm so sorry that you are suffering for that reason. What about natural medicine? Maybe it is a nonsense but collagen, magnesio... are so good to reforce muscles and bones.

    Take care dear. Kss.
    =)
    New post in my Lifestyle Blog

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  37. Blessings
    Who is gracious through pain? Still judging yourself so harshly. If the medication is not working and it's making things worst rather than better do not be afraid to go back to the doctor and say "this is not working". You are your best advocate. You are the only one living in that body hence you know it better than anyone no matter how much alphabet they have after or before there name.

    While you are on your quest for healing fine a way to capture joy through you pain. Take it moment to moment till the moments begin to stretch into day by day to month by month. You have every dressing to cry though I dare say there are always reasons to smile and laugh out loud as well even in the fog.

    Peace
    I wish you love, happiness and support through it all

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  38. So sorry to hear this, hope the medication kicks in soon. It is beginning to feel more like Spring and I hope you can spend more time outside.
    www.effortlesslady.co

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  39. Happy Easter Weekend and hope you're feeling better! HUGE Hugs...RO

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  40. Dear Launna, thinking of you this Easter weekend and sending my good wishes.

    All the best Jan

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  41. Hi Launna!
    I am back of my trip, I have not been blogging much either, I hope the pain in your legs is getting better, what is it? Why are you having pain? Have you had blood tests?
    It is ice that Spring is coming to your place, in England we are having beautiful spring days, so many pretty flowers in the streets, love seeing the gardens!
    Have a nice week sweetie
    xxx
    www.travelera.es

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  42. Sometimes it's nice to just spoil yourself.

    I hope they figure out what's causing the pain soon.

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  43. We are truly tested to discover our strengths. Stay positive Launna, you are a source of inspiration to many. I'm glad you got a day off to relax. I need one of those myself and hope to do that while I'm on Spring break. Sorry to read about the side effects of the new medication. I hope that goes away soon and the pain subsides too. Sending warm thoughts and prayers that things start to look up for you soon.

    http://www.fashionablyidu.com/2017/04/a-bouquet-of-florals.html

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  44. Hi Launna,

    I know pain makes it hard to think of something else. I;m glad you are focussed on yourself and hope you get better soon!

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  45. Launna, just stopping by to check you're ok and wish you a happy weekend!

    Raindrops of Sapphire

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  46. Hi Launna,

    I just wanted to say hi and find out how you are. I hope you've been all right. Hugs, Saba xx

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  47. Oh Launna I am so sorry you have been dealing with all that pain. I hope the pills help and the side effects ease up.

    I love pampering myself, it always makes me feel better. I'm sorry I have also been away from blogging but back now. I realized I just needed to step back for a while.

    Hope all is well.

    xoxo
    Louann

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  48. I hope you feeling better sweetie!! xxx

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  49. Hi Launna, just stopping by to wish you a happy Monday and I hope you're doing ok xx.

    Raindrops of Sapphire

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  50. Hi Launna, how are you doing? Thinking of you and wishing you a great and pain free week ahead.

    http://www.fashionablyidu.com/

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  51. Hope you're doing well and I hope you enjoyed Easter! Thinking of you! 💖

    xo, Sarah
    Hustla, baby.

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  52. I'm just here to check in and see how you're doing. Sorry you have that pain still!! I hope that dissipated and you are okay now? Glad you got your hair done. It does make a difference, esp. if we like the outcome. :) Hugs to you, always!

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  53. Just popping in to say hi and that I hope you are well. I am thinking of you and sending hugs. :) ~Jess

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  54. Hi Launna,

    I've been meaning to write you an email but I have to come here to read your updates before I do so and I'm so sorry that I've been so late.

    I really appreciate all your comments you left me over the months when I haven't been replying to everyone. I appreciate your care and concern. I appreciate you sharing with me how you could relate to my situation coz it makes me feel comforted someone out there could relate. And all of these while you have not been feeling well yourself.

    I recently attended a forum whereby there were lots of ah-ha moments and I knew I have to reach out to those people I've been meaning to reach out to and you are one of them.

    I will continue to take some time to read all your updates coz I've been missing out. I want to let you know that even if I'm not as active on blogs as before, you are always on my mind.

    Hugz!

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  55. Hi Launna, I hope you are keeping ok. I know it's been a long time, so just checking in on you!

    Raindrops of Sapphire

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  56. I totally understand what you're going through. My hubby is having similar issues on one of his legs. The meds he takes don't make him groggy at all. Maybe you should talk to your doc to change the medication. Take as much time as you need. Our prayers are with you

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  57. Hi L! Long time no reading, lol! I feel like it's completely natural to feel a little "guilty" for just focusing on the pain ur going through but honestly it's just in ur mind nobody is bothered, we are all here for u :-) Ps; 7 hours?! I would've gone insane my hair usually takes about 3,5 up to 4h and I scrape through it roughly, lol. I don't know how u lasted all tho if it's school than u probbly were understandable as always to anyone. Ur just to nice L ! I swear <3

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  58. Just dropping by to wish you a great week, Launna. Looking forward to your next post. :)

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  59. Dear Launna! Its been a while since I've seen your posts but I hope you come back to blogging soon as we miss you! But I'm glad you're taking time for some self loving afterall loving ourselves is the best we can do for ourselves!
    Love,
    Nilu Yuleena Thapa
    BIG hair LOUD mouth

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  60. Launna, so sorry to hear about your pain and that the pills are making you groggy. Hopefully these will make you better or your doc will find something else that you makes you better.
    You are a very strong woman to have gone through so much pain and still write in an inspirational way. Continue to be strong and you will surely come out of this pain.

    http://everythingthatclicks.blogspot.com

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  61. Hello Launna - just stopping by to say, thinking of you and sending positive thoughts.

    Take Care
    My good wishes

    All the best Jan

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  62. Hi Launna I Hope You Doing well.I Hope your pain gone soon..i Just start my Blog again, but still not very active..Yes its true the pain that others give to us make us selfies and sometimes make us to be strong. But ever it is i hope we are as women always stay strong and always be get ready what ever happen and always try to be cheer up.. Launna get well soon ya...Take care..always miss you..God Bless you :)

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  63. Just dropping by to say hello Launna. Hope to hear from you again because your posts are inspiring.

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  64. Hi Launna, I hope you're ok. I'm just stopping by to see how you are as you've been quiet for some time xx.

    Raindrops of Sapphire

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  65. It is not selfish to think about the pain you are going through. It is called worrying. We worry about others a lot but the fact that the pain in your leg is bad enough to keep getting attention says that the pain is not tolerable, because I know that you are a very patient person. Also I think it is very intelligent to give attention to our pain because that is the only way we can let other people know as well. If we do not speak up how are we going to get treatment. I hope that you are able to find out the right treatment.
    I hope that your mother's day was pleasant as you are a wonderful mom.
    Take care of yourself.
    Hugs
    - Munir

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  66. Just thinking of you and hoping all is well.

    Have a great weekend!:)
    ~Jess

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  67. Hi my sweet Launna,
    I hope you're ok. I misa you and thank you so much for your message.
    Kisses
    Maggie Dallospedale Fashion diary - Fashion blog

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I love and appreciate all genuine comments, to save a little time, I won't be commenting on the comments on my blog (unless you don't have a blog), I will just visit your blog and comment there, if you have left a meaningful comment for me... I would much rather spend the time reading and commenting on a few extra blogs ❤