Looking Past The Sadness For The Joy

I had my final appointment with the plastic surgeon about my leg, I couldn't be happier about that.  He is one of those doctors that has a 'God' like complex... these people would do well to remember where they actually attained their talent.  He has been rude to me on many occasions and I was looking forward to seeing the last of him... the best thing I could say about him was that he does good work but had absolutely no personality other than being nasty.  His parting words were that I knew where he worked if I needed him... I politely advised him I would do everything in my power to not need him in the future.  My leg is completely healed from the surgery I had at the end of January this year, even he was surprised how good it looked.  I am grateful that it is finally healed after waiting eleven years to have someone understand it would not heal on it's own.

I am writing this at work on my lunch as tonight I will be spending time getting the living room organized and cleaned.  Most of the items there are Valentina's as she took over that room once I moved my computer in the bedroom... She and I are going to do this room together.  Tomorrow we are going to clean the kitchen together and then Thursday and Friday I am going to tackle my room which will just leave Valentina's room on Saturday.  After this is completed, I plan to walk all over the neighborhood looking for a new place to live.  I'm not worried, I know a place will be made available, it always happens that way... of course I will have to search... it is not like it will fall into my lap... lol.   I am also going to start collecting boxes so that I can pack away books and such items that I rarely use but still want to keep. 
I know I have been feeling a little emotional lately, it is just the way I feel and I find it hard to hold it back all the time. I am working on controlling that behavior of mine.. however; I cannot promise that I will not have the occasional down period.  I try very hard to be positive and upbeat... it isn't always easy though as there are things that happen to bring me down from time to time.  It doesn't mean that I wallow in that as that is not how I want to live my life but if I don't acknowledge it, I could end up making other choices that are worse than being a little down or sad.  I choose to let it out slowly here and there and I hope that people understand that I need to do this so that I don't allow it to build up to something I cannon manage.  Those are the times that I use past addictions to get through, the times I don't allow myself the luxury of just being sad.

I might be strong but I am not made of steel... I have a heart that feels when life does not turn out the way I want or hoped.  I am also aware that there are many people who have much more hardships in their lives.  I have had many and I don't use them to ask for pity from anyone, each of them were challenges I had to overcome and actually gained strength from... I just need a day from time to time when I am hit with something that makes my heart sad... For as much as I love with my soul, I feel sadness the same way.  There is no joy without sadness, otherwise we would never know true joy if we never felt sadness. 

Even though I know this in my heart and soul, it is still very hard to cope with when I am hit with the sadness...
I cherish my past, I accept my present and I dream for my future

16 comments :

  1. Hi Launna:
    I also had a doctor years ago that was a fabulous surgeon, but with no bed side matter. Way to much cold logic for me. LOL!!!! I'm sooo happy to hear that all is well with your leg. You sound like you're really moving forward in life. A big Congrats with all your positive changes!!! :)

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    1. Thank you Suzanne... I am working hard to change my life around... I don't want to live with regrets :)

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  2. So happy about your legs, a little step to make your life better than ever!
    Did you clean all your living room? :D
    I'm sure that you have a life full of joy and happiness in front of you... Be strong, always believe and never give up... Remember these words!
    Xxx baby

    Carolina

    www.the-world-c.blogspot.com

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    1. Thank you Carolina...I got all my living room all cleaned... yay very excited!

      I appreciate all your kind words of encoragement;-)

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  3. Good luck with all the sorting and packing and also in finding a new home too! I am up to my eyeballs in boxes and dealing with the decisions of what to keep and what to save. It's not an easy thing to do.

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    1. Thank you Daisy, I am really hoping that I can clear a lot of my stuff out by the weekend... Then while packing I can get rid of even more... I really want to simplify :)

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  4. I like the fact that you are committed to making changes internally and externally in your life. I truly believe you will become stronger each day as these changes occur. It's Ok to have a few set backs and bouts of depression. Just remind yourself that you will not be "stuck" in that situation forever, and that you still have the power to change whenever you want to. Sending love and light your way!

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    1. Awe, thank you Marcia... I really am trying to make changes all the way around... I won't let the down days be more than a day here and there :)

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  5. Please don't let your doctor's attitude still bother you. The important thing is that your legs are getting better and better. You have accomplished a lot with cleaning. Change is always good and it won't be long before you are out of the situation.
    You have inspired so many of us with your quotations and you will do great with their help as well:)

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    1. Thank you Munir... I hope I have inspired people as many people have inspired me :)

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  6. I think it's fine if you feel that way :D

    visit my blog ^^
    www.luchluchcraft.blogspot.com

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  7. Chin up GirlFren, this too will pass (as they say). I don't blame you about the doctor. There is no excuse for being rude.
    Jilda had one tell her that she was having issues because of her age. That burned me up, especially considering that she's in better shape than many women half her age (61). She does yoga and like you, she walks daily.
    We talked and decided to find another doctor. She's pleased with her new doc.

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    1. Thank you Rick... Yes Jilda looks amazing for 61... So happy she found another doctor. This was only a specialist... I don't have to see him again, thankfully :)

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