Loving And Living My Lifestyle Changes

 
I have been wanting to write, it certainly hasn't meant that I had a block... I was hoping that my mood would lift before I wrote again.  So, I lost one more pound... I am almost at 19 pounds for five weeks, I am more determined than ever to continue on this journey I started.  I wish I had taken measurements when I first started but I just bought my measuring tape about a week ago.  I know that I feel it in my pants which are too big for me and my tank tops which I always felt stuffed into now feel really comfortable.  It feels good, I was a bit disappointed to only see one pound lost since I work very hard and I do not eat one bad thing but I have to remember that I am not twenty and my body is probably wondering what in the heck is going on...

Here is the funny thing I told my sister today, I don't even miss that type of food that I used to eat.  I went to the grocery store today and when I walked by the food I used to eat, I did that... I walked by it... I didn't look at it longingly...  I don't even think about that type of food, I am always thinking about any food I eat, wondering about the calories and what is in it? and if it is good for me?... I have people telling me that eventually I will miss the old food... I don't think so, it has been five weeks and I don't feel deprived.  Whenever I went on a 'diet' before I felt restricted... I missed the food... this is not a diet I am following, this is a lifestyle change that I am loving and living. 

I know one thing, I am getting very tired of Valentina's behavior when it comes to walking... she is not getting any easier about going for walks with me, she cannot stop complaining and I am not thrilled with her attitude. I have had to ask her on numerous occasions to keep her comments to herself, I need all the energy I can to put into walking.  I don't have any left over energy to argue with her... What happened to my sweet Valentina?  I seriously cannot deal with another cranky child who has nothing good to say...  Yes she does apologize but lately I am not accepting them as easily as I did before since she can turn around within thirty minutes and flip out again.  I do not like the teenage years, I know what she is going through, I have a very good memory of those times but I wish she could channel her anger elsewhere... it is very exhausting.

My mood is still somewhat the same, however; I am just putting all my effort into walking... I am not allowing myself to wallow.  I can't go back to that, I want to move forward... I turn the big 50 on Tuesday... I am actually excited!   I am getting my hair colored and I am getting a thick strand of hair colored violet... I will put pictures up once I get it done.  I have been wanting to do this for a couple of years and I never seem to have the money but I am doing it regardless, this a big birthday for me, it only comes around once. I am also going to get a small heart tattoo but it looks like that will have to wait until I get my bonus in August.  It is something I have wanted for a couple of years, it won't be anything large or flashy, just a cute little heart tattoo.
I am off for a few days this week, so I plan to get really serious and find an apartment for September.  Part of the issue with this is that I don't want to live in an apartment building, I just cannot live in a large unit again.  I like smaller places or a flat, I like having neighbors, I just don't want to have them living on top, under and on both sides... it is kind of claustrophobic.  I like that I have a front and back door and that there is no one under me, I love the feeling of just walking out of my place and not having to go down a long hall, walking by everyone's doors.  Anyway I won't worry about it, everything will work out as it was meant to...

This is more of a catch up blog since my mood hasn't changed a whole lot and I just don't want to write sad things right now... I have been keeping up with everyone's blogs even though I haven't been writing... I have written many in my head but at the moment those were just to sad to put down into writing.. I have so many good things in my life to be grateful for... believe me, I count my blessings on a daily basis and I feel very lucky... unfortunately it doesn't stop the sadness but it keeps me from wallowing which is a good thing.

I cherish my past, I accept my present and I dream for my future

14 comments :

  1. Congratulations on the continued weight loss and on your sticking to your diet and exercise goals! I think you're doing great if you can walk by those foods you used to eat and not want them. I still battle cravings sometimes.

    Good luck on your search for a new apartment. I hope you find just what you are looking for.

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    1. Thank you Daisy, not sure what it is about this time but none of those foods interest me, I think if I were to back track and eat them, I would feel ill and disappointed in myself...

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  2. I'm glad you're doing so well with it. I wish I could do it and had the motivation and will power. I have lost 40 lbs within in 2 yrs but that was different eating habits.

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    1. Thank you Laney... I used to wish I had the motivation and the will power... one day I just started walking and eating healthy... since that day, I have never looked back... I love how I feel now. You can do it:)

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  3. Well done with your weight loss. It may be just a pound to you but it's still 1 pound less than before and that's good. And it's good that you're keeping up with the exercise and lifestyle change even though your mood feels low at the moment. We all have our ups and downs, and at least you're doing your best to keep active at the moment and not shut yourself away.

    Hope you have a grand 50th Birthday Launna. Enjoy it and treat yourself, you'll only be that age once so have a wonderful time.

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    1. Thank you Rum-Punch... as someone reminded me... this too shall pass. I am not going to let this sadness control my exercise and eating, I am going to continue on this path no matter what...

      Thank you for the birthday wish.. I plan to enjoy my 50th like no other...

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  4. tbh I think it's because Valentina is growing up, becoming a teenager and u have no idea how much will change! I remember my sister being like the best younger sister ever and now? OMG I can't stand her behavior, she doesn't want to do anything with anyone besides her friends, nothing but laptop is important to her and the fact that the smallest joke is making her angry it's so annoying! U just have to get throught this, there is no other option. But remember to 'keep swimming' <3 Love xoxox

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    1. Awe, thank you for the encouragement Marta, it sometimes makes me want to cry when she is so mean... I know how sweet she can be... I love her though so I will keep working on her... you are so sweet to take the time to comment... I am going to keep exercising, it is what is keeping me together :)

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  5. Glad for me to know that you are doing great to lose your weight. ANd hope your Valentina will understand you maim!! Good Luck...

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    1. Thank you Sangay... I am hoping Valentina sees the vision soon... of course no one could make me see it until I wanted to see it... I am glad that I did:)

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  6. I get moody at times too, but I force myself to write daily. Sometimes the entries are lame, but I think it pays off in the end.
    Now, if I could only be as disciplined about losing weight. I'd be at my ideal weight if I lost 19 pounds.
    Don't be discouraged, stay the course. You're worth it.

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    1. Thank you Rick... I am in the zone with the exercising, eating and weight loss... it keeps me centered when nothing else can... I will not go backwards... I am forward...

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  7. Good for you! Nineteen pounds is a BIG deal! Be proud of yourself. Here's to a very happy birthday to you! Fifty is a wonderful age. Enjoy it.

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    1. Thank you Susan... I'm looking forward to 50... I loved my 40's <3

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