Opening My Heart To Trust

I have had an extremely busy weekend, I bought our real tree, we have it up with all the lights on it and we are decorating it tomorrow, I will be posting it on my social media. It is a really pretty tree and has a wonderful pine scent. I did a lot of shopping, just a few more items to get and I had general house hold items to keep up with...

I was able to catch up with a little of my reading and I read some really amazing posts, this particular blog stood out this week. Mainly because this weekend is the three year anniversary since 'he' came to Halifax and spent Christmas and New Years with me. Today I am in a better place than I was a year ago and for that I am completely grateful... I have new challenges and that is okay... it's the only way to grow.
So, I read this and it resonated with me because it was definitely how I felt about trusting anyone again. I had jumped in with both feet with 'him', not fearing where I would land and even when it didn't work out romantically, I never believed we would not  be friends... yet that happened...

Here is what S wrote from her blog .As Far As The Eye Can See .. the title is the damage is done. It made me think hard about broken trust and how it changes us ... I was there a short year ago, wondering if I would ever be able to trust anyone again. I never let myself get too excited about dating, if a guy called, he called... if he didn't he didn't. I have dated a few guys but no one special, after reading this, I knew why... I had lost my desire to trust and I didn't expect it from anyone anymore.

the damage is done.

i don't take promises from anyone anymore
that is what you did to me.
i do not look expectantly at my

phone
when someone tells me they'll call
then decide they won't.
and when people come to me with wide eyes and excited smiles
i turn away.
i do not memorize what it's like
to touch a body with just the tips of my fingers.
i remember what it was to train my mind to forget
what skin feels like, traced over
on mornings
half asleep.
and that is enough
to not hold on to promised words
from promising lips
any longer.
S.
Although this resonated with me as this was exactly how had been feeling, I wasn't able to verbalize it until I read this... I also took this as an opportunity to remember that if I truly want to feel joy, I am going to have to learn to trust again. I am going to have to take a chance. For the first time in a very long time, I want to try again... this time I will expect more and I will open my heart to trust.
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71 comments :

  1. I don't know if we can ever recapture that innocence we had before we were hurt...but we only hurt ourselves by not being able to open up and trust again. It's a lot easier said than done, though!

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  2. I think it is great that you are ready to open up and trust again.

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  3. I'm glad to hear that you're in a better place now. Funny how time really is a healer...it's such a cliche saying, but it's true.

    Just sent you a friend request on Facebook. You totally don't have to accept...but I thought I'd send you one anyway. You seem like a really sweet person :)

    xo Azu

    www.raven-locks.blogspot.com

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  4. Trying to trust again an be really hard, I know I still have difficulty with it that's why I think I push people away before damage can be done. But it's so good you trying to trust again Launna.
    Beautetude

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  5. it's good that you're opening trust again :) and i'm sure you'll enjoy decorating your tree. anyway, i'm so glad to know that you passed your exam! And thanks also for the prayer ;)) have a great month Launna!~

    xoxo, rae
    http://www.raellarina.net/

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  6. Great post. They are always so deep and make you think x

    Mrsinlondon.co.uk

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  7. Yay for getting your tree! It is so fun to start decorating for the holidays. It is definitely hard to reopen yourself up after a heartbreak, but it is usually worth the second shot :)
    www.amemoryofus.com

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  8. Great post Launna! I second Darcy! Opening up again after a break may seem difficult, but trust me; there is something good to happen next. Just Believe and move ahead in life for yourself.
    Take care
    Lots of love from Epsita

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  9. It isn't easy to open yourself up after a break, but it's the best choice opening trust again!!!!
    Have a lovely week Launna, and enjoy decorating your xmas tree!!!

    Kisses, love Paola.

    Expressyourself

    My Facebook

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  10. NIte nites pretty!
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S68Sc_SoelY

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  11. I can't wait to see your tree Launna! Nothing like getting into the holiday spirit like decorating :)

    It's hard to trust again. Once we've been hurt, we like to close ourselves up to avoid anyone getting to our feelings. We don't like being disappointed. But Launna, what you have to believe is that there ARE people who genuinely care. And it may be a risk, but take the chance. If we don't, we'll never know and we'll spend time wondering what could have or should have happened. It's a big step, but take that chance. I know you've been hurt before, but I know in my heart that there is someone out there for you who will love you and treat you like the most special person in the world, and you deserve that. You sound like an amazing mother, and you are most definitely one of the kindest bloggers I've met. ♡

    MJ // www.littlepandacrafts.blogspot.com

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  12. Don't be afraid to trust again Launna. Trust is one of beautiful thing... I'm glad you won't give up. How's everything this week for you. Did you finish up the decoration? Wishing you a wonderful time and enjoy the holiday spirits:).

    Good night from here Launna. Xxoo.

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  13. The thing is, indeed the damage is done, but at the end of the day, we need to move on. I mean, that one person's trust can't outweigh 12374873 other people's trust, yep? :) So, I am very glad that you have indeed took the disappointment in a positive way, and have decided to trust again, my dear Launna! <3

    http://anshul90.com

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  14. I love the fragrance of a real tree, and it is such fun decorating, too. The damage is done, for sure, but we must not keep ourselves there. Animals and young children are great at teaching us how to live in the moment and let our past be the past. Sending you a hug. :)

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  15. wish you a wonderful rest of the week sweety!

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  16. Dear Launna,
    I'm happy for your all decorated Xmas tree, it helps a lot. I hope your sorrow will go down day after day letting you hope again in the world...
    A big hug from Italy :)))

    xoxo
    www.bellezzefelici.blogspot.com

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  17. Trust is easily lost and not easy to win back. But I do believe that it can be done. I've hurt my fiancé in the past and I thought I'd never win back his trust. But it seems that I did.

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  18. You have certainly had a lot of emotional damage to try and get past -- but you just keep trying and that really is one of your strengths -- you perseverance. Hang on my friend!

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  19. Muito obrigada pelos parabéns, Launna! ;)

    Deve ser muito mágico montar árvores, mas nunca fiz isso, acredita? Sou de uma religião que não comemora Natal.

    Você vai perceber quando puder confiar. A maneira de saber se deve ou não é deixar que seus sentimentos falem por você! Viva, e não tenha medo!

    Ótima terça!

    Beijo! ^^

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  20. Take it easy...:)
    Relax...enjoy the present moment you have right now :)
    Merry Christmas :)

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  21. I think is a great thing to give a chance to your self and trust to somebody.
    If you need to talk I'm always here for you.
    You deserve the best.
    Kisses
    Meg
    Maggie Dallospedale Fashion diary - Fashion blog

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  22. Dear Launna, the best is yet to come. You feel better than a year ago. Next year you will be much happier. Have a wonderful rest of the week!

    Jasmine x

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  23. True that!! Its hard to gain back trust once it's lost! I haven't been able to cope with such acts for ages now! And I simply don't feel like talking to such people, even though they din't break mine there's this nagging feeling that they might just do the same to me too!

    And glad to have you back Launna! :)

    New Post - xoxo Chaicy - Style..A Pastiche!
    Facebook

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  24. I'm happy for your all decorated Christmas tree, I did as well. Step by step you will feel more joy. I read as well the emotional letter for your mother.
    Wishing you a wonderful time and enjoy the holiday spirit:).

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  25. Can't wait to see you Christmas tree all decorated, I did mine this weekend and I'm pretty happy with the result :)
    Oh and I'm now following you on Facebook and Instagram!

    See you dear Launna xx

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  26. Lau querida amo um natal brilhoso bela arvore amei
    pisca pisca é tudo de bom
    Curta e siga o meu canal
    https://www.youtube.com/user/NekitaReis

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  27. Launna, my lovely lady. I came here last night with my sleepy eyes and was my bedtime.. Time go by quick the kids are growing and we are getting older everyday:).. We had a wonderful time with the twins on their B-day:)...I've been busy working myself this month.. Hope you're doing well, and that nothing bad happening to you.. Wish you and Valentina are well..

    xxoo http://www.attraction2fashion.com

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  28. Ciao, carissima Launna, è sempre un grandissimo piacere venirti a trovare nel tuo blog.

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  29. nel tuo bellissimo blog imparo tante cose interessanti.

    WWW.ANGELICHIC.COM

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  30. I have never had a real Christmas tree. Maybe some day I will get one. I love the fresh pine scent.
    www.effortlesslady.com

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  31. I think we can never as freely trust after that first hurt but it is always worth working towards for the right person because the payoff is so wonderful!

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  32. hi sweet Launna
    must love as if we had never suffered ;)
    NEW OUTFIT on my blog http://tr3ndygirl.com
    i wait you
    kiss

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  33. Hi Launna. I hope your week is going great!
    Looking forward to your next post.
    Beautetude

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  34. oh, I hear you. it's been 31/2 years for me. I'm forcing myself to trust, but my guards are up. it's hard. every day. and I feat that if I don't open up a little bit, I will ruin my chances at making it work with monsieur. at the moment, things are fine. but how long will it last. and will he break my trust too? I guess I have to wait and see and live it. all of it. you can do it too xoxo

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  35. Thank you so much for your ever sweet comments as always on my blog, Laura!! I truly appreciate them! :) And I hope you're not driving yourself too thin again? Just want to let you know that I am just a message away :)

    http://anshul90.com

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  36. It's hard to repair something that has been traumatically broken. And it may seem irreparable but one day it won't. That day will come Launna. When, I'm not sure but in being aware of this fissure is a great start because without awareness it could never be reap aired period. It will be tough, but you can do it. You've been through an awful lot and are a strong and caring person. I have faith that you'll overcome this, despite life throwing you barrels of soul lemons. Keep believing, that day will come. All good thing will come to you.

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  37. Trust and trusting again has been a very sensitive subject for me as well, and I'm working on trying to figure things out. :) Glad I found your post!

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  38. Have a nice and great week my dear Launna!
    Try to trust in someone again, just be more careful!
    Whenever you want you can talk to me, I'm young but I'm very empathic.
    Wish you the best!
    Kisses
    Beth
    Rebirth - Beth Kubler Diary - Fashion Blog

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  39. i would love to see your decorated tree launna,,,,,,, and its great that you are opening your heart to trust again.....good luck
    keep in touch
    www.hairfashionbeautyblog.blogspot.in

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  40. Lovely post
    I hope your week is going great

    New post in
    Www.miharujulie.com

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  41. Very well said. Life is all about finding balance.

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  42. Great post indeed. I am glad that you are ready to trust people again. I like the line that says Trust but don't be naive. Great advise.
    Take care of yourself. It is nice to decorate for the Holidays, but don't stress out. Please.

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  43. Ci sono sempre mille cose da imparare.

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  44. these are such wise and powerful words, I hope you have a wonderful week!

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  45. So glad to hear the Holiday season isn't holding you back. Sounds as if you are right on schedule. Great about the tree. I guess..that is what I need to get done..but first housework..and of course, writing. All the best!

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  46. My dearie Launna. Just wanted to dropping by to say, thank you so much for checking on me:). I'm heading to bed.. wishing you and Valentina have a wonderful day and that Valentina continue on excited:) hope she gets what she wishing for:).. oxox

    http;//www.attraction2fashion.com

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  47. You dont have a heart which can hold back for long. Its momentary and it will pass for sure. I love you for what you are Launna. I always look forward to you. May God bless you with everything you wish for :)
    btw, I am excited to see your beautiful tree ;)
    Love
    Charu

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  48. It is very difficult to trust again once someone has broken our trust. That pain is not easily or quickly forgotten. Thankfully, we do have the power to heal and to forgive and to move on. I'm glad you are in a better place now, Launna. It's wise to guard your heart and be cautious, but being open to possibilities is a good thing too. Wishing you all the best!

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  49. Llego hasta tu sitio por intermedio de un comentario tuyo en el blog de Evanir… con tu permiso me quedo para seguirte!
    La Navidad es ese niño que nace en nuestro interior, que motiva en nuestros corazones los sentimientos más nobles y esa esperanza por un mañana mejor.
    Que el año nuevo traiga consigo un sueño por el cual luchar, un proyecto que realizar, un lugar donde descansar, amigos en quien confiar… Felices fiestas te deseo con mucho cariño!

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  50. Lau querida passando para ti deseja tudo de bom
    Curta e siga o meu canal
    https://www.youtube.com/user/NekitaReis

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  51. I knew you were strong enough to open your heart again even after all you've gone through, Launna. I'm so glad you made that decision and I truly wish you find someone to open up to, whether a new loyal friend or a partner :) I am happy for you, my friend!
    xx

    http://www.stylebydeb.com

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  52. I'm so glad you're doing well. I didn't realize Christmas and New Years were placeholders for memories. Now I really get why you want new traditions. Loved the tree. I saw it on FB. ;-)

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  53. Gran post, encontrar la verdad siempre es dificil.

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  54. I want to see your tree! I'm headed over to your Facebook!! And a big Merry Christmas to you!

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  55. My lovely Launna. If I would have to pick right now between a million bugs and rest, without any doubt rest is all I need. Hope you will be able to finishing up your Christmas shopping this weekend. Get something awesome for Valentina :). Good night oxox. Take care Launna.

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  56. Hello my dear Launna! :) Thank you sooo much for always leaving such sweet comments on my blog!! You have no idea how much it acts as an instant energy boost :) And omg, I am so so glad you decided to take your payroll paper in spring. It must be really hectic especially now that it's year end, right? Haiz!! But I tell you what Launna, stopp stressing and just enjoy the last few days of this year!! Make the best out of it :)

    http://anshul90.com

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  57. Dear Launna,
    I wish you a wonderful weekend before Xmas :)))
    A big kiss from Italy!

    xoxo
    www.bellezzefelici.blogspot.com

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  58. Hi Launna... that is such a lovely post.. I did comment yest dunno where it disappeared... hope u have a fab weekend xoxo
    http://natashabhatt.blogspot.in

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  59. beautifully written, and indeed it's challenging to begin to trust someone after a whole lot has happend. You are vulnarable in that situation. But I do believe everyone deserves a second chance.

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  60. aww Luanna you are a beautiful person. I know that trusting again can be hard but all things are worth a second chance.

    www.sarahrizaga.blogspot.com

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  61. It´s time to love and trust... Merry Christmas, dear friend!

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  62. We have been hurted for long, it's difficult that all the damage dissapear fast. Hugs!

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  63. I can definitely see why you'd have so much trouble trusting again and the post you shared is so true because it can take so long after being hurt to let someone in again, but you never know what will happen in the future. :) I hope you have a great Christmas and can't wait to see your tree all decorated, real trees are the best. ;)

    xoDale

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  64. That is such a beautiful poem! Very sad, but beautiful!

    Bella Pummarola

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  65. Hi Launna! Cool that you bought a real tree. I can't buy a nice Christmas tree because we gonna move at the end of december to a new house! I want to make it cosy in home! I hope that you are doing great and that you will have a lovely Christmas next week! Enjoy it and relax :-)

    xoxo
    Dascha

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  66. you are always so positive Launna.....stay strong and sending tons of hugs.

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  67. Have a great Weekend wonderful Lady <3 ,kisses :)

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I love and appreciate all genuine comments, to save a little time, I won't be commenting on the comments on my blog (unless you don't have a blog), I will just visit your blog and comment there, if you have left a meaningful comment for me... I would much rather spend the time reading and commenting on a few extra blogs ❤