I Choose Me

I have had a pretty busy week, I am trying to get my walking in daily...  it's a challenge but I am trying to push through until it is easier. My past experience proves that it will be easier and more enjoyable with time. It's still a bit too chilly here and frankly I can't wait until I don't have to wear so many layers.  Also, I know for me that I need to have accountability for being healthy, it is much too simple to give into my weaknesses if I don't have to be accountable to myself. 

I don't want my life to be all about what I eat and how much exercise I do but for a little while that is what I need... saying this I need balance in all aspects of becoming healthy. I have lost my way and have used any and all excuses to do as I pleased... I don't want to say I need to get on track but I do need to become focused. I believe we have to choose ourselves... often we put ourselves on the back burner and when we do, we essentially are choosing others... I am all for serving one another but I also know that if we don't choose to take care of ourselves, we have nothing to give to others. 

Things are coming together for me with being able to work from home, I had been looking for a place to live but that idea had to be put away for a few years due to the fact that my Valentina is going to need braces. I was despondent thinking about still having to travel back and forth to work for many years to come but... one of the people I follow through a blog helped me come up with a solution... This may not work for everyone but I am giving up my bedroom to use as my dedicated office and I will be separating my large living room into two sections and have my bed at one end. 

I am totally excited about how this solves my travel issues. I have spoken with my team leader... it's not something that can happen tomorrow but it is in the works. I have people coming to my home this week to help me declutter and organize so that I will be ready when the opportunity comes about.  Part of the problem with throwing things out here is that we have limitations of what and how much we can discard every two weeks. Thankfully one of the ladies coming is going to take many of the bags to the dumpster for me... I am so happy about this... I know that if I have others helping me I am going to be more motivated.

I have put myself on the back burner for far too long, when I injured myself I gave myself permission to be do and eat what I wanted... and if I am being totally honest I was already giving up on myself before I was hurt... I felt like if I could continue to exercise that I could do as I please otherwise... I now know getting hurt was my wake up call, I needed to see that I was over using exercise to keep my excuses that I had given up on me.

I need to choose me again, I did that a few years ago when I focused on becoming healthy in all ways. As much as exercise is important in my life, I don't need to do it to excess... As I wrote before I had some challenges that I wasn't dealing with in the way I should, instead I walked a great deal... I didn't want to look at it, it was so much easier to just go out and exercise it off... After talking with my physio therapist at great length, she explained that I was probably injured and that I ignored it and then really did damage that made me stop... Challenges come into our lives to wake us up... I decided that I needed to go back to basics and choose me... 

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My Big 50th Birthday And My Mission

The only thing that matters now is my mission.  Nothing will stand in the way anymore. 

Well today I turned 50 and I can tell you this, I don't feel like it (except maybe in my knees, lol) but the more I walk the less I will even feel it there.  I don't look it and I can say that because everyone and I mean everyone tells me that.  I certainly don't dress like I am 50, nor do I want to... I rather enjoy the fact that I don't look or act my age.... nor do I plan to.  Above is my latest picture that my oldest daughter took of me about three weeks ago, she is quite the photographer as is her wonderful hubby Paul... 

I know that I have been a bit moody over the past few days and I will deal with that in time... for now I am extremely busy with staying on track with losing weight and getting as healthy as possible.  That is my main focus, I am hoping it will rub off on Valentina... if she sees there is no choice but eating healthy and walking to wherever we go, she will lose the weight and become healthy herself.  I just have to keep on that path and eventually she will follow.

I won't go into the reasons that I have been moody but last night I had a bit of an eye opener and it only made me want to eat better and exercise more... bring on the bike/elliptical/treadmill... no more words from me about how I hate them and how boring they are... who cares... I am going to use them and get healthy and keep myself fit.  Oh and I can't wait to try out Zumba, I am looking into classes tomorrow, I think it would be fun to dance/exercise.  I have said this before but I mean it and I think the past almost six weeks proves that I mean it, I am on a mission, a mission to become the best and healthiest me.

I could care less about cake/cookies/chips/chocolate/fried foods and anything with mayonnaise...  none of them appeal to me.  I was the girl who loved her cream sauces and thick salad dressings, I don't care if I ever eat them again.  You know what makes me really happy?  Walking further than I thought I could and following a great eating plan, then hopping on the scale and seeing my weight go down to a healthy one... Today I went to the doctors and she said it had been almost one month since I was in to see her, which was almost two weeks after I started the challenge at work, I had already lost 10 pounds, she said I have lost 12 pounds in four weeks... that made me feel so good.  She said I might want to slow down... I said nooooo... I have a challenge to win and then I have other goals I need to get to as well.

She realized that there was nothing she was going to say to change my mind so she told me good luck with the challenge.  I thanked her and reminded her that this won't stop with the challenge, that was the catalyst that started me on the right path... that and something my David said to me... I will have to thank him sometime... I couldn't be more thrilled that I finally put the two together and that I am SO committed  to looking after myself.  It might have taken me a while to get here but I am here and nothing will take me off this path. NOTHING!!!

I am happy to hear that I am inspiring people to walk, I know that nothing and nobody could get through all the excuses I had for not getting healthy until I was ready and boy... am I ready.  I feel like I am finally following the right path, the one I was always supposed to be on... As for feeling sad, that is because some things have not worked out as I had hoped or know that it should... but that is okay for now... I am putting all that on the back burner so that I can focus on the main plan right now.

I will eventually deal with the sadness and even that won't be completely overwhelming to me one day.  Maybe I will even be able to look back and smile at this time in my life, maybe I needed this to get me on the right path to become the healthiest me... I also think this is going to change the lives of some people that are close to me.  Maybe not the way they think but I know it will leave them with a lot of questions... I wonder if they will get the answers they are looking for... Time will tell...

I cherish my past, I accept my present and I dream for my future ♥ 

The A-Z's of Launna

I was reading my blogs that I follow today and I read one called Jess Is More... she wrote a really cute post called The A-Zs of Jess, I am going to write one on the A-Z's of Launna.  Hers is really nice with all the pictures she puts in her blog... I will try to add a few on mine.

{Age} 49 and I rarely act my age, I say enjoy your life and never grow old and mundane.

 {Bed Size} Double, that is plenty big for me, when I am with someone, I love to cuddle.

{Chore You Hate} This is the same as Jess's, I hate putting laundry away, I can wash and dry it... fold it at times.. lol.   Putting it away is way down on the list... I live out of a laundry basket, I need to change that.

{Dogs} Dogs are beautiful and I love other people's dogs, not sure I want to own one though.

{Essential Start To My Day} Getting up early as I do lots of things in the morning... I also need to relax before I go to work.

{Favorite Color} Lime green is my favorite color... but I also love pink and purple.

{Gold or Silver} I am not really into either one but if I had to choose, I would pick silver.

{House or Apartment} Apartment, one day it might be nice to own a house but I would rather do that with someone I love.

{Instruments Played} None... I took piano for a very short time when I was 10

{Job Title} Client service representative (payroll specialist)

{Kids} Two amazing daughters, my oldest Andrea and my youngest Valentina... I am a blessed mama.

{Live} Halifax, Nova Scotia... I never thought I would move away from here but I would have moved anywhere in the world to be with my David.

{Married}  I am married but this is the year I am going to finally be divorced.  I am not against marriage and I certainly would have given it another chance, I don't see that happening in the near or distant future.

{Nights or Mornings}  I am a morning person, I get so much more accomplished.

{Other Fun Fact} I lived in Niagra Falls, Ontario for 8 months when I was 16 years old.

{Pet Peeve} People that smoke in bus shelters or any other enclosed place, I think it is rude and selfish.

{Quote} "Whether you think you can or can't, you're right"...  I love many quotes... I am a bit of a quote-a-holic

{Righty or Lefty}  Righty, I always thought it was cool that there are people that can use both.

{Siblings} Nine sisters, Helen, Darlene, Cheryl, Kimberly, Me, Rochelle, Lisa and Krista (we have another sister that my mother gave up for adoption in the late 1950's). 
  
{Time You Wake Up} I wake up between 3:30 am and 4:00 am on a work day, on Saturday's I wake up very late.

{University Attended} I didn't attend university but I did go to community college.

{Veggies You Dislike} There are not too many vegetable's that I don't like, mushrooms are not a favorite of mine, I usually pick them off of or out of whatever I am eating... however; I do love mushroom soup, I know... quirky. 

{What Makes You Run Late} The buses make me run late when they don't connect... very frustrating since we don't have buses that run more often that 30 minutes at a time.

{X-Rays} Wow too many of these, I just recently had one done on my leg in the last year... I would be here for awhile if I had to think of all of them, let alone write them down... lol


{Yum Food} My favorite comfort food is fried potatoes with onions and cheese... definitely something I am going to cut back on, only for a treat.

{Zoo Animal Favorite}  Lions, I love lions... I think they are beautiful animals... to scary to be close to, I respect them from a distance.

 So that is my list... whew

 I cherish my past, I accept my present and I dream for my future ♥