A Little More Than Five Years Ago

I should be sleeping, as if that isn't what I have been telling myself for nearly ten months... I think when the upheaval started in my life the end of September, it threw everything out of whack for me... even though I am feeling more at peace in my life now, I still don't sleep any longer than a few hours at a time before I awaken... then I fall back to sleep.  In the beginning I worried about not getting the proper rest I needed to actually handle my day to day life and although I don't think it is a wonderful thing to go through life without proper sleep, the kind where you dream... I have managed to live and find ways around not getting deep sleep.

So, my Valentina came home from camp, she thoroughly enjoyed her time there... except for the massive bug bites she received... note to self, always remember bug spray in the future... apparently there are lots of mosquito's and such in the country.  I really missed her and it looks like she is going away for another week this Saturday.  She is excited because it gives her the opportunity to hang outside, play and swim, so I am very happy for her.

Also, just a bit of a catch up with everyone, I ate pretty well this week and better than that, I exercised four of the last six days ... it felt amazing. Unfortunately I was really ill over the weekend, not sure what it was... but it kept me indoors, I am feeling much better now.  I have even decided that I want to find a few people that will walk with me, however; I need them to be a little competitive, or they may end up walking by themselves as I don't want to just amble along.  This is why I have decided to look for some groups in my area of like minded people.  The more the better, since I want to exercise regularly... I want to set myself up for success.

A friend I hadn't spoken to for a while contacted me and we had a really good talk, the kind I haven't been able to have for a long time... I hadn't realized how much I had bottled up inside myself until we talked, it was a great release. I hope we can talk more regularly ... although we did promise to make time for each other, I know it will take a lot of work.  I am prepared to put in the work... hopefully my friend will too... I think we all need someone we can just say whatever we need to say and not worry about how it will sound.
Today I realized it has been a little over five years since I started my blog... I remember writing my first post and publishing it... I never thought I would write over 700 posts since that day. Everyone who has read my blog, knows that I started to write it to give myself a voice.  I had lost myself along the way when I married my ex Andrey and after he raped me in 2008 I went inward and tried to forget it. Of course that never works, that only serves to destroy a person.  Talking about it was the only way I came through to the other side... once I started writing, I started talking more and once I did that, I found myself and my voice.

Then in late 2011 I fell in love with 'him' and he became the center of my life and my blog... mainly because he was my best friend and he helped me to want better for myself.  I grew a lot in the two plus years we talked... one of them being that I found my self esteem that I had been missing for so many years.  Two, I remember when we first started dating and I used to think how lucky I was to be with 'him'... then I remember last summer thinking how lucky 'he' and I were that we made it through dating and stayed friends.  Today, almost a year later, I honestly believe, 'he' was lucky to be with me.

I know that sounds conceited but I am not, nor have I ever been.  I say that now because I can look back with open eyes and see that I gave a hundred percent of myself to 'him', even when I knew we were only friends. I would never have walked away from 'him' for any reason... that is why 'he' was lucky to be with me, I would not turn my back on him for any reason, not even now.  

A little more than five years after writing my first post, I can look back and say it was one of the best things I ever decided to do in my life.  I found a passion with writing... this was something I wanted to do for years. Also, I connected with many people across the globe, something that I never would have done without the blog.  I have wanted to travel for years, writing this blog makes me want to travel more, I would love to meet many of you. I am not going to write names because there are so many and I would never want to leave anyone out. I am just grateful for each and everyone of you for being there for me as I hope I am there for you too.
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109 comments :

  1. How nice this post Launna!
    I'm glad that your daughter is coming to visit you ..... I also hate mosquitoes!!
    Good decision to meet new people with whom you share interests!
    I also love my blog that continually gives me the opportunity to meet new friends!
    Happy new week darling!
    http://expressyourselfbypaolalauretano.blogspot.it

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  2. To bad that you can't have the rest that you want! I hope that it gets better one day. So good that you have your blog for a long time now! I love reading your stories and I see how strong you are! Life brings good and bad things! But what I love, is that you keep moving on! Keep strong dear! And you'll deserve a better man! :-)

    xoxo
    www.its-dash.com

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  3. Amiga bom dia post maravilhosa com mensagens super
    renovadora amei tenha unha semana abençoada
    Blog: http://arrasandonobatomvermelho.blogspot.com.br
    Canal de youtube: http://www.youtube.com/NekitaReis

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  4. Hope you feel better soon dear Launna! I love blogging too, its a great way toconnect with people who share the same passion.
    effortlesslady.blogspot.ca

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  5. you always write from the core of your heart and i love reading it
    http://leavepillow.blogspot.in

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  6. WOW, 5 years of blogging, awesome job Luanna!! keep it up and stay motivated, you are awesome :)

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  7. Well you know if you ever made it to the Orlando area I'd be waiting with an amazing cheese to say "hi." It's amazing when you look back at how far you've come, eh? I think that's the biggest benefit of journaling for me, being able to flip back five, ten years and say, "Wow." Up and up, eh?

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  8. blogging activities can indeed help us connect with people around the world, this is very fun, hehehe...

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  9. It's great to hear your doughter had so much fun! And it's a great idea to walk with a group. It's also nice to be outside!
    So nice to hear you are proud of your blog, after 5 years :) :)

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  10. Happy blog-iversary! I'm glad blogging has filled such an important role in your life. Keep it up, kiddo. Great idea about joining an exercise group. You're already motivated enough to keep it up on your own, but it'll be more fun to do it with other people.

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  11. Happy Fifth - - -
    You have given us all a wealth of inspirational and encouraging posts. Blogging is all about talking what you need to talk about. If you have time and energy ,it is great and for some reason you are too busy, we all understand. So please write, but with ease. Take care of yourself. Hugs to Valentina!

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  12. Oh my gosh
    My sweet Launna: Happy birthday to your amazing blog
    <3 <3 <3
    Loveeeeeee
    Kisses to you and to beautiful Andrea.
    Maggie D.
    The Indian Savage diary

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  13. Wow Launna five years of blogging that's pretty amazing. It must be nice to have your daughter back home. I know next year I want to put my son in camp and I'm already freaking out lol.
    Beautetude

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  14. Wow! Happy birthday to your blog. You did a great job on all your post. Hope you have a nice day!



    I AM ALSO ON: Instagram @kennydaily, Bloglovin and Facebook



    xoxo;
    What Kenny Hearts a Fashion and Decor Blog

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  15. Launna,
    I am so proud of you for not giving up on blogging, unlike myself who can't keep a blog long enough to establish followers. I am hoping my new blog I created will be one I keep permanently. I am proud of your will to keep exercising and eating right, I need to get back on track. It's nice to hear how happy you are right at this moment.

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  16. Hello Launna:
    I hope that you can sleep soon a lot of hours in a row. Good that you ate good but not good that you were ill.
    Lots of hugs!!

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  17. Hope you find a Way for a better Sleep!
    Love your Letters ,happy Blog-Birthday <3

    kisses :*

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  18. Hi Launna, I hope you're now better. I don't love bugs so much, they always bite me and... spray bugs don't work on me :(
    Good night!

    xoxo
    www.bellezzefelici.blogspot.com

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  19. Congrats! 5 years of blogging! You have given us such inspirational and encouraging posts, keep on blogging! :)
    Hope you're feeling better too :)

    MJ // www.littlepandacrafts.blogspot.com

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  20. I hope you find a good group of people to walk with. Congrats on 5 years! You are not conceited, you are just telling the truth. I hope to meet you someday! I hope you get a chance to travel lots.

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  21. Hi lovely Launna! I'm glad that you and Valentina both had the great weekend time together:). I had my time off for over the passed weekend:). Will talks again soon:). Just wanted to swing by to say "Hello" quick. Hope you already having the wonderful week so far:).

    Good night! oxox

    http://www.attraction2fashion.com

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  22. Congrats on your five years of blogging!!! That's amazing!

    xoxo
    Style and Paper
    Bloglovin

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  23. Ciao bellissima!!!
    Kisses
    http://expressyourselfbypaolalauretano.blogspot.it

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  24. Wow congratulations! Five years of blogging is a long time! It's great that it helped you heal emotionally, sometimes talking to someone - even if it's online - is all we need.

    http://bellapummarola.blogspot.it/

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  25. Estou torcendo para que aquela colônia volte para as lojas! *---*

    Ah, e de nada! Finalmente eu consegui resolver o problema no meu Twitter...

    Blogs são ótimos para desabafar. Também é maravilhoso porque encontramos amigos que nos apoiam e aconselham nos momentos difíceis.

    Boa terça, Launna!

    Beijo! ^^

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  26. happy blog-birthday sweety!!!
    have a wonderful rest of the week!

    <3
    http://www.getcarriedaway.net/

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  27. happy b.day for your blog,sweet launna
    would you like to pass from my blog?
    NEW OUTFIT http://tr3ndygirl.com
    kiss

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  28. It's nice to hear Valentina had a good time at camp. Too bad about the bug bites. I can feel for her with that because it seems mosquitoes find me wherever I go. How wonderful for you that you got to have a good talk with your friend. It really makes a difference when you have someone who will listen and who understands you. Sorry to hear you weren't feeling well, but good for you for eating right and exercising. I liked to "travel" by visiting blogs. :D It's not quite the same as real travel, but it does have some advantages. Hope you have a great day!

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  29. Congratulations, 5years is quite the milestone! Keep doing what you're great at :)

    Lots of Love,
    Ana
    x

    anasofiachic.blogspot.co.uk

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  30. congratulation dear Launna ! <3
    unconventionalsecrets.blogspot.it

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  31. I love the blogging community and learning about different cultures and lives of people around the world! :) Happy blog anniversary Launna!! :)

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  32. 5 years is a really long time to blog. I am in my first year and I see how much time and effort you need to put in. I can use this as inspiration to keep doing what I love.
    Keep on blogging. You have a lot of great posts.

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  33. Amiga post maravilhoso amei boa noite
    Blog: http://arrasandonobatomvermelho.blogspot.com.br
    Canal de youtube: http://www.youtube.com/NekitaReis

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  34. Congratulations on completing 5 years of Blogging Launna! Isnt blogging so thrilling and life changing? Its like we learn everything new everyday, meet lovely people and create a community of our own! I love the fact I met a lovely person like you :)

    Love Nilu Yuleena,
    from
    BIG hair LOUD mouth BLOG
    BIG hair LOUD mouth FACEBOOK page
    BLOGLOVIN


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  35. You are so right that it is hard to find someone who you can tell anything and everything to. I'm glad you were able to get a lot of things said and to feel a bit more free. Happy 5 years of having a voice!

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  36. I'm sorry you are still having trouble with sleep. Everyday life can be hard for people with sleeping issues.
    It's a very good thing to have someone to talk to, people need to talk more to get their heads free of mental clutter.

    I didn't really know, so sorry to read this was one of the reasons you started the blog. I wish the circumstances had been more positive. :(
    You are so very right, these days people should be happy to have a loyal friend or partner. It's a rare thing, so "he" really lost something, imho...

    Thank you for being there... and to many more years with you in the Blog-o-sphere!!!

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  37. I just found your blog so I don't know much of your back story, but you don't sound conceited. why is it that we (especially women) have such a hard time getting to a place of authenticity and self-worth without constantly apologizing for it? sounds to me like you went through a lot and started taking yourself seriously at one point, something not a lot of people do. that's admirable. xo

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  38. It is so great that you got to talk to an old friend! And yes, remember the bug spray! Those are the worst : )
    www.amemoryofus.com

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  39. I think it's awesome you've been blogging so long. It's a great way to journal your past, present, and future dreams/aspirations too.

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  40. It is wonderful maim. Five years of blogging with 700 posts! Keep it up~

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  41. wow thats great that you have been blogging for this long, and yeah when I look back at my older posts I realized how much I have changed and how much things has happened as well. bug bites!! they are the worst in summer :) Hope she feels better now!

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  42. I think as long as you are getting your eight hours (or so) in, even if it's interrupted, it's still good. I know uninterrupted sleep is best, but I think most of us wake up at some point in the night and go back to sleep.

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  43. Amiga bom dia, lembre se hoje é o dia da nossa Vitória
    Blog: http://arrasandonobatomvermelho.blogspot.com.br
    Canal de youtube: http://www.youtube.com/NekitaReis

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  44. Such a lovely post Launna!! And I am so happy for all the things you have today and all those who inspired you in this journey! Today you have become inspirations for many!! Love you the way you are! <3

    Hugs & kisses
    Ritcha
    http://www.myfashionfootprints.com/
    http://www.myglossyaffair.com/

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  45. very beauitful,genial post
    would you like to pass from my blog?
    NEW OUTFIT ▽ http://tr3ndygirl.com ▽
    kiss

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  46. Blog is a great medium to connect with people across the world.
    I am happy that blogging helped you in regaining your self-esteem and confidence. And also made you so expressing that hundreds of people across the globe read what you write and follow you. Isn't this amazing that we dont know eachother and still we know eachother... :) <3 <3

    http://beimperfectbutreal.blogspot.in/

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  47. Hi Launna!! I am glad that you are feeling better after your ill weekend. Wow - 5 years blogging?? I hope to make it to that milestone one day. I can say with certainty that we are all VERY glad that you made a decision to start this blog 5 years ago :)

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  48. Hi Launna, I finally almost caught up with everyone and here's I am with you:). I am so sorry for cannot reads your post of last visited. Was way too late, I definitely can't read:). Isn't that the excise help you to fall asleep easy? It helps me a lot. I wish you could too Launna. I am so sorry to hear that you didn't feeling good over the past weekend, Hoping you are better by now:). I also hope you find more people to walk with:). That was nice to hear from someone who those we known for long time:). sometimes is good just to have someone to talk to even just on the phone:).. We all definitely becomes more way closer to one an another on our blogging fields. Happy to meet you one day Launna. Welcome to Atlanta one day:).

    Kiss. http://www.attraction2fashion.com

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  49. Dear Launna, I sleep just a few hours too since the birth, one year ago, of my third child... :)
    Good night!

    xoxo
    www.bellezzefelici.blogspot.com

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  50. Have a great day! We live in a rollercoaster, somedays good and somedays bad. Hugs!

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  51. happy birthday to you and your blog. and may you achieve anything you want to achieve. i like you very much, launna. <3

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  52. i'm glad you also like origami. it's so meditative and yes i'm very proud that my works were to be seen in german television

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  53. and indeed clothings which are older than me can still look very fashionable. i have always loved 50s fashion, too. and before it became popular :)

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  54. Congrads! On the last 5 years of writing! Go you! All the best on finding a group to walk with. Maybe..you just need a dog. Well, that's one of the reasons I walk. Unfortunately, we have mosquitos and the humidity too. Some days are better than others when it comes to walking.

    May you stay inspired and stay strong. All the best!

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  55. Isn't it amazing how time flies! I started my blog in February of 2012, so I am still relatively new. Keep up the great posts!

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  56. Very well said..speak your mind even if your voice shakes!! And your story is a wonderful inspiration for same! And congatulations for completing five years of blogging! Wish you many more years of happiness and success!! <3

    Happy thursday!
    Charu
    http://www.myglossyaffair.com/
    http://www.myfashionfootprints.com/

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  57. Woah, five years already, that is pretty major! Isn't it amazing how blogging (or just writing down your thoughts for that matter) can have such a therapeutic effect?

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  58. Kisses from Turkey darling!!!!
    http://expressyourselfbypaolalauretano.blogspot.it

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  59. You are a lovely, giving person Launna. Congratulations on five years, on finding love, on fighting for your health.

    Hugs from Minneapolis!

    Pearl

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  60. Wow, 5 years..hat a long way, what a journey. I didnt even realized that the blog is already 5 years old!! Congrats for that. For me reading your blog is always like reading a part of your diary. You open a part of your soul you probably would keep locked otherwise. Writing always helps me to show emotions on a way I wouldnt do.

    Its good that your old friend cathced up with you! Stay in contact with him. Try to find out if it could be a great friendship!!

    Im so proud of you doing all the exercises!! But take care. After being sick normally people say that you have to rest for at least 7 days until you cant start with any kind of sport activities again. Otherwise the heart can get infected in case you had a virus infection!!

    I think its positive for you to find a group of people to walk with them! May new friendships will be build up and some of them now how hard it is to loose way, may they have some good advices how to challenge the rest of you journey when its abou that part of your live :)

    Many hugs!!!
    Martin

    www.look-scout.de

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  61. Hey Launna, glad to hear your dgt had a great time away at camp. And the bugs are bad. Even here especially at night. All those bug bites on your dgt is an indication how incredibly sweet she is. Happy Thursday. :)

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  62. I admire so much your determination to continue on. Your writing is very heartfelt and it makes me feel I really know you. Continued strength to you!
    Www.theurbanumbrella.com

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  63. Congratulations dearest ! Five years ! 700 post and more, that is one BIG feat! Also its good you spoke to your friend, talking keeps things simple...its good to talk to someone once in a while :)

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  64. Amiga que lindo post obrigada pela visita
    Blog: http://arrasandonobatomvermelho.blogspot.com.br
    Canal de youtube: http://www.youtube.com/NekitaReis

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  65. Hi Launna, just found your blog via Leslie at weight4baby.com and so glad I hopped over here! I love finding other women my age who are on a wellness journey, I am also 51 and started mine three months ago. So your story is very inspirational to me. I've been blogging for nine years and I used to call my blog my free online therapist. It's helped me through some tough transitions and I also met some great people through blogging. Like you I discovered a passion for writing and right now it helps me on my own weight loss journey. So impressed that you lost 75 lbs in less than a year! That's about the amount I want to loose, too. I will add you to my bloglovin' and look forward to getting to know you more. Take care, Kerstin

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  66. Hi Launna I just wanted to stop by and wish you a happy Friday. Hope you have a relaxing weekend.
    Beautetude

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  67. Lu amiga tenha um bom final de semana para você e familia.
    Blog: http://arrasandonobatomvermelho.blogspot.com.br
    Canal de youtube: http://www.youtube.com/NekitaReis

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  68. Hello Launna, another inspiring post :) hope you'll be able to sleep longer very soon though. anyway, this is my reply to your comment on my post http://www.raellarina.net/2014/07/book-acquisitions.html?showComment=1405688770436#c5255136672134705900

    ---> and now i'm curious about this book. I am googling it right now. hehe. I think that even if the book is not the best one out there with numerous awards and big screen adaptation, as long as it touches a reader's heart or influences a person in the most unimaginable way, it will be the best book ever. :) I have a few favorite books which fit this description like your favorite, "The Mirror". ^^)

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  69. Launna,
    I have already commented on this post before but I just wanted to respond to your most recent comment on my blog (and I am always worried that if I "reply" there people don't see it.) I just wanted to sincerely thank you for all of your support and encouragement on my blog! I appreciate it so much. Hope you have a great weekend!
    Darcy
    www.amemoryofus.com

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  70. Dear Launna I enjoy reading your post. They always teach/remind me interesting things. I agree with you about your blog feelings. It's a perfect way to travel around the word without moving home! Diferent people from diferent cultures and cities.
    kss a lot
    http://tupersonalshopperviajero.blogspot.com.es/

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  71. Beautiful Launna:). When we were on twitter, I was doing my daily yoga and chat with my phone:). Hope your weather I s better than mine:). It has been rain on and off so far...I also wishing you a loveliest day:). Happy evening there lovely girl:).

    Kiss. http://www.attraction2fashion.com

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  72. Wow Launna! 5 years of Letters from Launna already? That must feel incredibly well! I appreciate the fact that you open up in every post and I guess at this point you might know that you are an inspiring person to all your readers. Thank you for letting us be part of your adventures! x

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  73. Good night dear, I just come to see if you wrote something new. Hugs!

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  74. Congrats on your five years blogging---I am so glad you stuck with it!

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  75. hi sweet launna,i repass
    have a nice we
    would you like to pass from my blog?
    NEW POST http://tr3ndygirl.com
    kiss

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  76. Wow! You have done a fantastic job this time!
    I am mesmerized by this post! Love it!
    You do not know how glad I am that I came here! Big hugs!




    Regards,
    Katherine Unique

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  77. Have a wonderful Weekend Launna <3 ,big Hugs

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  78. Happy Birthday to... your blog. I wish you many years full of inspirations.

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  79. Hello Launna! I posted new songs, I know that you like them :)
    If something is bad written in my blog and you read it, please correct me, I'm spanish and I don't write perfect english. A lot of hugs and kisses. I hope that you are doing good :D

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  80. That you have been busy with Valentina it's good, family is always first. Good night pretty!

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  81. I feel you here about not getting enough sleep and having trouble with it. This past days I've been dealing with those esp whenever I'm going somewhere the following where I should be having a good night sleep it doesn't come so I always end up groggy and tired the following day. anyway good to hear about Valentina! I'm into exercising and lessening my intake of sugar though I look small to some my sugar level and acidity is pretty bad. anyway hope you're doing fine back there!

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  82. Have a great week start My dear!!!!

    Ciao bellissima!!!
    Kisses
    http://expressyourselfbypaolalauretano.blogspot.it

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  83. have you already noticed that you've got 365 followers via GFC? maybe that's a symbol. one follower for each day of the year. one person for each day of the year. you'll never walk alone - there's always someone there for you. each day. <3

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  84. thank you for your dear words on my blog.

    yes indeed it is stressful to go shopping but it's also loads and loads of fun! and yes we had a great time. i also think it's much more fun to take the piece and immediately be able to wear it, and not have to wait for it because you ordered it online. guess i will now go shopping regularly, again.

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  85. thank you for your thoughts on my vegan post. sometimes i'm not able to keep the vegan nutrition up, especially when i go out. but at home i solely eat vegan food.

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  86. i'm also glad you liked my waffles :D

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  87. Congratulations for these five years sharing feelings and emotions! I would like also to meet you any time! Kisses

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  88. Inspirational as always Launna. Loved it xo

    cranberrydeer.com

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  89. Happy 5 year blog anniversary Launna! Even though I only started reading since late last year I feel like I know you much longer - I always look forward to checking out your posts since many are so encouraging and motivating. Here's to many more years of blogging!

    Steph xx
    www.liebeladies.com

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  90. Waw you have a lovely blog, really like your story :)
    Maybe we can follow each other, let me know :)

    http://dreamland1234.blogspot.com/

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  91. So true, speak your mind and do what makes you happy!! Happy monday Launna!! :)

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  92. Great post dear!!! I hope these 5 years have given you many joys dear!

    XOXO!

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  93. As always, another post coming from the heart. Looking forward to seeing your next post! Have a fun day.



    I AM ALSO ON: Instagram @kennydaily, Bloglovin and Facebook



    xoxo;
    What Kenny Hearts a Style and Home Interiors Blog

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  94. thanks for your comment darling
    http://tr3ndygirl.com
    have a nice day

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  95. Promoção é sempre uma tentação, né?! hahaha! Aquela bota foi um achado! ;)

    Ótima segunda, Launna!

    Beijo! ^^

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  96. 5 years of blogging i'ts amazing .... always love your letters Launna
    unconventionalsecrets.blogspot.it

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  97. I'm glad to hear that you've had time off for yourself and organized what you've had to be done. sounds like you on the really right tracks my lovely Launna. I wish your week and day is as lovely as you:). Thank you so much for the kind words as you always do:).

    oxox http://www.attraction2fashion.com

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  98. Amiga passando para ti deseja uma semana abençoada.
    Blog: http://arrasandonobatomvermelho.blogspot.com.br
    Canal de youtube: http://www.youtube.com/NekitaReis

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I love and appreciate all genuine comments, to save a little time, I won't be commenting on the comments on my blog (unless you don't have a blog), I will just visit your blog and comment there, if you have left a meaningful comment for me... I would much rather spend the time reading and commenting on a few extra blogs ❤