I'm glad that I have my plan, for me. I need to focus on all the good things I have in my life. Becoming healthy will be fabulous for me, I know the running club will be challenging for me but I'm up for it, excited even. It looks like I will be starting August 15 when I get my bonus. I need the money to pay for the running club and the yoga class I want to take. Also I will be able to stock my cupboards with good food.
I've been up since 2:30 am, I got caught up on my blogs and I did 3 loads of laundry. At least I accomplished something. Off to work, still not my best but I have to keep moving. Well my day has ended off pretty sad, I need to take a little time and take stock in my life, figure out where I am at and where I am going. At the moment, I feel sick inside with no end it sight... some pain we are given to deal with ends up being much more than we ever thought we could handle.
If only I had known that the last time I hugged and kissed you that it would be the last time, I never would have let you go. I guess that's why it's best we don't know it will be the last time. It's funny but I remember that night and how I wanted to hold you just a little longer but you had to go. I shouldn't listen to sad songs, they only make me more melancholy, as if I need any help in this department.
It still remains to see if I am strong enough, as everyone says I am... the true test starts here and now. Today is a defining moment for me, a challenge that I was hoping I would never have to face. Right now I feel so weak, I could just go to bed, pull the covers up over my head and stay there... but I can't do that, I have Valentina, my job, I need to find a way to survive this challenge.