That day I had to leave work early because my emotions were all over the place, when a client called in, I ended up bursting into tears... I quickly messaged someone that I had to leave, I looked for my quickest exit and I barely made it to the door before I was sobbing beyond control. I walked a fair distance to catch the bus so that I could get my emotions under check. Still I sobbed on the bus, then at home... that was the night I stopped sleeping for nine long months.
However; saying all this, I have moved on from that day, I finally started to sleep about three months ago, which was a blessing... I have NO idea how I functioned on so little sleep? I never want to do that again. Also, I don't cry most of the day anymore, which is so much better. I couldn't see a light at the end of the tunnel but I held on when I couldn't see it because I KNEW it was there.
I think we all have defining moments in our lives that could totally tear our foundation apart and that day was one of those days for me... Somehow, I held it together and I came through. If you had asked me a year ago where I thought I would be emotionally, I never thought I would have come as far as I did. Yes, I still have a way to go but at least I am on the right path now... for nine months I wasn't anywhere, I was in limbo... and that is not a place to live.
I hope when I look back on that day in a year or two, I will see that everything happened the way it should have... for now I will continue to hold on to the light I can see because for nine months I couldn't even see that...
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