A Letter To My Mother

The main thing that stood out for me while I was studying was the feeling I had to write a letter to my mother, my mom passed away in February 2009. I had been very close to her over the years, I didn't grow up with her from the age of six until I was fifteen but she and I became extremely close ... the year before she died we didn't talk as much as we used as life kept us both very busy and we were on opposite sides of North America. I was in Halifax, she was in Salem.

Lately I wish I could talk to her, she of all people I know would have understood what I was going through... I remember when I met her at the age of fifteen and we connected, she answered so many questions that I had.  I was able to hear the stories from when I was younger ... what I remember the most was how much she loved my father, how her eyes lit up and how happy she was... 

I also remember when things didn't work out for them a couple of years later and how very devastated she was, thinking back it breaks my heart. She was only 47 when they separated but she decided at that time to never date again and she didn't. She never stopped loving my father though and there was even a time that my parents talked about getting back together but my mother had come to a point that she wanted everything on her terms, my father wasn't capable of giving her what she wanted and they went their separate ways.

I love my mother ... at the time I thought why didn't she bend a little to have what she always wanted? Today I understood, today I realized she had known her worth and that anything less then her terms would have been settling. The only thing I will do differently is that I am willing to give someone else a chance, not every man is out to break my heart. There are honest, kind caring men ... not all men lie.

You know what I remember the most about my mom... was that she didn't talk badly about other people. My dad gave her good excuse over the years but she never talked poorly of him, this was the way she was with the people in her life. I do aspire to be that way with the people in my life too. It is not always easy when someone hurts us, however; the alternative wouldn't bring peace either. I am grateful I have learned that quality from my mother. 
I missed all of you, when I could read I kept up that way but I did take a lot of time to study and prepare for my test... which I passed, I was thrilled as you can all imagine.  I had thought about diving in and taking my next course but I have decided that I will do that one in the Spring. It is pretty intense being a mama, working and taking a course... it left me very little time for me. The whole time I was off studying, all I wanted to do was write... I had some really inspiring moments. 

I will be by to visit you all over the next couple of days, I can't wait to catch up. I also wanted to thank you all for your good thoughts and prayers... this is an emotional time for me as it is for many people but I am not going to wallow in the sadness, I am going to immerse myself in the good parts of this season and keep myself busy by giving. By this time next week, I will have my tree up and decorated... I am really looking forward to Christmas this year...
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83 comments :

  1. I know your mom would be proud of the woman and mother you've become!

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  2. Congratulations on passing your test!

    Your mom sounds like an inspirational woman who spread kindness. What a great role model for you and others. :)
    ~Jess

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  3. Congrats again on passing! I'm glad you're taking a little time off before diving back in. December is a hard month to be focused on that. I your recollection of your mom and the understanding you have today of the choices that she made.

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  4. A sweet note indeed. She must be feeling proud to have a daughter like you. Be the same forever.

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  5. Hello Launna,
    so sweet to hear from your mum. Throughout the text I was wondering why she did not want to get back to your dad, but it seems she had a good reason. Sounds like an amazing. woman.
    xx
    Mrs in London lifestyle blog

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  6. this is hard to read. I have a very difficult relationship with my mother. we're not close and most likely never will be. I'm happy that you had the kind of relationship you described! xo

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  7. It sounds like your mother was an amazing and inspiring person and she'd be so proud of you, Launna! Congrats on passing by the way. Your words are so true and thoughtful and I totally agree, not every man is a liar!

    www.nevernotinspired.de

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  8. This was such a touching post Launna. I know your mom would be very proud of all the achievements you have made in your life. Congrats on passing I knew you could do it.
    Beautetude

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  9. Congrats on passing your tewst Launna and welcome back my dear friend!!!
    Beautiful post, your mom sounds like a great woman and she has a great daughter!!!!

    Kisses, love Paola.

    Expressyourself

    My Facebook

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  10. Welcome back pretty, I'm happy that you passed your exam. Tomorrow I will read your post with more time. xoxo

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  11. Wonderful Words Launna ,you are amazing!

    kisses and many Hugs from Vienna :)

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  12. I am so glad you did well on your test! We knew you would! I hope you get some time now to enjoy the holiday (and bake cookies!). Your feelings towards you mother sound so much like my feelings towards my Dad. Oh, if I could only sit down and talk to him one more time...

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  13. Its great you understood her so much and she must have been a strong role model for you, too. So glad you are back! Hope the holidays go well for you..with lots of sweet memories! Thanks again for the note!

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  14. I'm sorry you lost your mother. It's hard when you have so much left to say. I still write letters to my grandma. It helps to write, and I like to believe somehow that she knows everything I want to say to her.

    Congrats again on passing your test! I can't imagine how hard it must be juggling school, work, and parenthood. Just school and kids are enough to drive me nuts!

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  15. Always is a good moment to remember what mom did for us and give thanks
    nice post dear
    kss
    new post: http://tupersonalshopperviajero.blogspot.com.es

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  16. My lovely Launna! it's so beautiful Launna. I love reading a story of life... After read, I've got tear in my eyes, I am a real sensitive one when it comes to life and family kinda thing. I can only imagine a little girl life without her mom and wondering where her mom was while the friends were with their mom( I'm wiping out my tears)... I so believed your mom was missing you so much then. Form the bottom of my heart I really am so sorry about your mom passed away while you and her were back to connected. Bless your heart Launna, I also wish we were lived closer, I wont let you cook for the Christmas dinner, I'd love to have you and Valentina here with our family. I invited you and Valentina here with us:). I love to have you two here with me> I'm glad you've passed your exam and that you can relax and enjoy the holiday:).

    With Love,
    Tanya

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  17. This is a beautiful post. Your life sounds so intersting. I think it is so touching to hear you speak of your mom. Also to hear she never spoke poorly of others is a wonderful tribute to what a good person she was. Njce to have you back!

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  18. I echo Bree's comment, Launna! Lovely post.

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  19. Lu querida eu e a minha mae ficamos emocionada de le o seu
    texto ache super importante a sua mae esta super contente de voce
    ser uma super mae e amiga arrasou LU DEUS seja contigo por onde
    andares, voce é uma joia raara nas mao de DEUS. E para quem tem voce
    como amiga eu mesmo sou uma. abraços.
    tenha uma semana abençoada Curta e siga o meu canal
    https://www.youtube.com/user/NekitaReis

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  20. Aw, what a great post, Launna! I'm glad to have you back, I've missed your posts! I'm sure your mom is VERY proud of you.

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  21. I love this letter, I think I'm gonna try to write one to my mother.
    I grow up with her, and she was and still be very protective. At the same time I realize that I did not know a lot about her and she doesn't know about me at all...
    So yes, this post touched my heart and it's a great inspiration to me, especially in these last years where everything seemed to be so wrong for us and for our family.
    Thank you.

    With Love,
    Beth

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  22. Thank you so much for your comment in my last post, you don't have any idea how much i appreciated that. I'm so happy that you finally finish to study!
    This letter is wonderful, and now I can understand I little bit more my mother because when she speaks about my granma she used to say a lot of things that you write in you letter.
    She did not grow up with her mum too, but she used (and still use) to love her.
    Big Kiss my Dear,
    Maggie
    Maggie Dallospedale Fashion diary - Fashion blog

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  23. Your mom sounds like an amazing person! Welcome back to blog land, Launna!
    www.amemoryofus.com

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  24. This is such a heartwarming post. Happy Wednesday! :)

    xoxo;
    WHATKENNYHEARTS.COM
    Like On Facebook
    Follow On Bloglovin

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  25. Wow. This is really hard to read. You wrote a beautiful post dear. I love it that you are such an open person! :-) Also good to hear that your examens are ready! I think that the results would be great!

    xoxo
    Dascha

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  26. Launna, I'm so glad your back! I truly missed your posts! First of all, a huge congrats for passing your exams!!! You should be really proud of yourself for coping so well with all those things you had to do at the same time :)
    I was very moved reading this particular post as I am extremely close to my mother, and believe it or not, I found SO many similarities between her and your mom. She has been through very harsh times because of my father and they too ended up taking separate ways. However, just like you describe your mom, she never talked poorly of him or anyone, actually. I am sure your mother was a great person and role model, Launna :)
    xx

    http://www.stylebydeb.com

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  27. Launna, no one in this world can make us happy but us. As you said, you believed in kumma, (I do too).. I may be love fashion and stay up on trend but my personality is an old school kind of person. I am the same way as your mom was, If I have nothing good to say about others, I'd rather say nothing......... Even though for a short term to get to know her and able to figured out all your questions that stuck in your head during you and her were so far apart. That was beautiful enough for your beautiful memories' to share some with us...I've been meditating everyday to let you know you and Valentina are in my thoughts and prayers. Hope you're enjoying the decoration.. I had fun decorated with my family and here we are fire up and hot drinks!!! Have a relax and easy night sweet Launna..xo

    http://www.attraction2fashion.com

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  28. Welcome back Launna!! And ok where should I begin? Ok firstly, Congratulations on passing your exams!! I knew you would excel in them!! :D I'm so happy for you, and yes, take the 2nd module over spring. Just rest for now!!! :)

    And now, coming back to the gist of this post, all i can say is that your mom is definitely very very strong. I don't know her, but I admire her and the values she gave you sure reflects on much of a beautiful person she was!

    And I am so glad that you've decided to take this christmas on a happy note! It's a beautiful and a magical festival with miracles happening at every corner :)

    http://anshul90.com

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  29. Dear Launna,
    this last letter moved me deeply to tears.
    These are hard days for me, say a prayer for me, please :)
    I hope Xmas will be happy for both of us...


    xoxo
    www.bellezzefelici.blogspot.com

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  30. Parabéns por ter passado no exame! ;)

    Os produtos da Avon são muito bons. Adoro os itens de cuidado com a pele!

    Pela sua descrição dá pra notar o quanto sua mãe era incrível.

    E que venha o Natal, né?!

    Ótima quarta, Launna!

    Beijo! ^^

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  31. I saw that you passed and meant to get over and congratulate you, but it's been so crazy here, I don't get half done of what I need to daily. I'm here now though, and a big hearty congratulations to you!! Woot!! That's the way to move forward into the season. :)

    I think it's wonderful you can say your mom never said a bad word about anyone. That's a huge thing, actually!! My grandma was that way, and I still miss her all of the time, but I'm so happy she was in my life. :)

    Have fun decorating! I'm sure your daughter's full of holiday happy too. And I agree, I'm looking forward to Christmas too. :)

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  32. Ciao Launna, è sempre bellissimo venirti a trovare!!!

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  33. Buon mercoledì e a presto.

    WWW.ANGELICHIC.COM

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  34. Even though your mom is gone now, you are so lucky to have had a good relationship with her. I am jealous! :-) I don't think a good mother/daughter relationship is all that common, so cherish those memories! Love you!

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  35. How sweet. I do think writing a letter is a great way to communicate with her--or maybe through a journal. Actress Natascha McElhone wrote letters to her husband after he died suddenly--they were collected into a book. I never read the book, but it sounds like a great way to say what you need to say.

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  36. Yes, it's true Launna! There is a lot of beautiful buildings and views :) Greetings!

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  37. Some people never change. Some wake up every morning and are a different person. Some are the same people everyday. Some people leave. Some people stay. It's your life not anyone else's you live it not them. You have to wake up every morning and face who you are. If your not who you want to be its time to change who you are. But only you can change and it's only when your ready. I am happy to hear that you aced your exams, now you can relax and look forward to Christmas. Have a nice day Launna! xo <3

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  38. Your mom sounds like a really wonderful person.

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  39. Passando para ti deseja um belo dia.
    Curta e siga o meu canal
    https://www.youtube.com/user/NekitaReis

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  40. Congratulations on passing your test! I miss my mom too. So much I wish I could say to her. It's good that you can now understand what she was feeling and what she was going through having had a similar experience in your own life.

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  41. Your mother sounds like she was an amazing person! Hope you are able to enjoy your Christmas holidays, if you stay busy and active you will!

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  42. I am so proud of you!
    I understand how you feel..but remember..Shes always there with you in her heart..there are always other worlds to sing in..Wherever she is she is proud of the person you have become....All the very best for christmas dear....

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  43. It's sad that your mom died. Have a great day pretty!

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  44. Congratulations Launna for passing the test. I am very happy for you =) and thank you for visiting my blog =) hugs. stay happy =)
    http://anotsosecretlife2011.blogspot.com/

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  45. Beautiful...when we are young, we dont understand too much our parents. They are..well..boring sometimes. "Old"... as we are getting..well, more years (never too old!;) we understand so much more. And after that appreciate... missed you girl <3

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  46. Passando para ti deseja bençao sem medida
    Curta e siga o meu canal
    https://www.youtube.com/user/NekitaReis

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  47. wish you a wonderful rest of the week sweety! stay strong!

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  48. I'm thrilled for you that you passed your exams. Now chill and have a great relaxing couple of weeks. Hugs Launna.

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  49. I wish more people were like your mother and not talk bad about other people. The world would be a better place...

    Bella Pummarola

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  50. Hey dear,

    We have an amazing giveaway this week with Carlo Giuliano silver bracelet. Just push your luck: http://www.margoraffaelli.com/carlo-giuliano-giveaway/

    Hugs,
    Margo

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  51. moms are special in everyone's life,,,,,,i love my mom very much...
    keep in touch
    www.hairfashionbeautyblog.blogspot.in

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  52. I'm so sorry for your mom, I'm sure she's safer where she is now and she is for sure very proud of you :)
    And so I am, congratulations for your exams dear Launna you did it well!

    See you xx

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  53. Congrats on passing the exam! Your mom had great values. May she RIP.
    www.effortlesslady.com

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  54. Hi Launna. For sure your mom was a very good person. I'm so happy you passed your exam. I wish you a wonderful Christmas in advance.

    Jasmine ♥

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  55. Beautiful! Congrats with passing the exam

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  56. Launna, I am so sorry about your mother. It is so difficult losing a loved one, even years later it still hurts, but I know she is in a better place and is so proud of you and all your accomplishments. <3
    This was such a sweet note you wrote to her. I'm so glad you look up to her and that she had those great values. I know you are just as wonderful!
    I missed you too, happy you're back! And I know, life is so busy as it is, but at least you're taking the course in the spring. Congrats on the exam as well, I knew you could do it! <3

    love and prayers,
    MJ // www.littlepandacrafts.blogspot.com

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  57. that's a beautiful letter written to your momdear :)
    http://theknotstory.com/

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  58. Mom has always been the person that will b there, whether we r wrong or right...and they always understand our struggles...stay strong and may the Xmas season brings u much joy and warmth.

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  59. Thank you so so much Launna for your sweet comments as always! I just want to let you know that i truly appreciate them, and I really am so so glad that I got to meet a strong woman such as yourself!! <3 Please always be happy!! <3

    http://anshul90.com

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  60. Lovely post!
    Have a nice week end!

    http://ladyparisienne.fr/

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  61. Welcome back Launna! hope your exams went well! I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your mother and I agree how they are so important to us, our soulmates when it comes to knowing and understanding us truly! I'm away from my mother too and I miss her every moment myself as we are really close! Have a lovely day!
    Love,

    Nilu Yuleena

    BIG hair LOUD mouth

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  62. Your appreciation of your mom and the life lessons she taught you is the best present anyone can ever give to her mother. You do her proud.

    Congratulations on passing that exam! (I knew you would.) Good idea to take a little break before diving into another class, though.

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  63. Depois de um longo afastamento estou tentando de alguma forma
    visitar minhas lindas amizades.
    Logo chegará o Natal é justo estar entre as
    amizades que esteve comigo no decorrer desse ano.
    Levando meu eterno agradecimento
    a única palavra para traduzir
    tudo que estou sentindo nesse momento.
    Sua amizade é muito importante para mim
    um presente grandioso de Deus.
    Um feliz final de semana beijos.
    Evanir.

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  64. Beautiful tribute to your mom, Launna. She would be so proud of you. Congrats on passing your test---that's AWESOME!!

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  65. Congratulations for passing your exams Launna and welcome back! Thank you for that reminder, when hurt i tend to pour 'venom' about people around me, let me learn from your mom she sure was great role model. Thank you also for saying a prayer to my friends dad, i really do appreciate.

    Anne
    http://www.liebeladies.com

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  66. This is a beautiful post. Well done to your mother for not settling, but as you say, not all men are bad and it's important to never give up.

    Congratulations on passing your test too, well deserved!

    Charlotte xx
    Charlotte's Web

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  67. Your positivity is amazing! Wish more people would have some of that in their lives. I think the world would be a better place. Your mom taught you so well. Wish you warm thoughts, and lots of love this season.

    Sincerely,
    Tania
    http://inspiremyfancy.blogspot.com/

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  68. Adore every single word that you wrote!! Congratulations and wish you best things

    Cultureandtrend

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  69. aww I know your mom is so proud of you and still watch over you and her grandchildren. you have a very kind heart and I know you'll be blessed more than you can imagine. sending love from Philippines. have a wonderful week and season to you and your kids!

    new outfit post here :)

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I love and appreciate all genuine comments, to save a little time, I won't be commenting on the comments on my blog (unless you don't have a blog), I will just visit your blog and comment there, if you have left a meaningful comment for me... I would much rather spend the time reading and commenting on a few extra blogs ❤