Far Too Long

It has been so many months since I have sat down to write, it's not that I haven't wanted to write, as I have written many posts in my head. Sometimes no words would come which frankly I had never dealt with since I started writing... All I had to do was sit down at the computer, start writing and the words would spill out faster than I could type. I didn't understand how words failed me when it has always been what I could fall back on to when my life took twists and turns... I always felt like writing helped me to make sense of the tests and trials I have had to deal with... we all have had to deal with. 

I thought back to the past and what each trial or test had taught me over the years ... I have always ended up seeing the wisdom of why I had to go through things I often wondered if I would survive... Many of those trials taught me empathy, forgiveness, love and what true beauty was...
That was until I lost 'him' as I best friend, I had to put that one in a box and stop trying to figure out something I could not seem to find an answer for... then I ended up getting injured and it changed my life in a way I never believed I would ever see. I had worked so hard to get myself healthy and into shape. I was thankful and extremely grateful that I had found the path I was on and I was so happy to be there... now my health has been slowly declining. 
I force myself to go out when I don't feel like it, I walk short distances to keep myself mobile... every step is painful, sometimes unbearable. If it's not my legs, it's my back... I just cannot understand what this trial has to teach me, what am I supposed to learn from this? I keep thinking is this it? Is this how I am going to feel for the rest of my life?  I know there are many people that have to deal with chronic pain in their lives, I had no idea how they coped, nor did I want to know... I felt blessed that I was in minimal pain and that I could exercise often.

I don't want pity from anyone for where I am today as I am sure most people who deal with chronic pain don't want that either. I just want to deal with the pain better than I have been handling it... I want to hold onto hope that things can change, maybe even learn why this trial was given to me... however; at this time I am not close to learning and hope seems too far away for me to believe it will change. I am not trying to be negative about what I am going through, I am trying to find the good things that I have in my life. Truthfully, if I were to sit down and write all the blessings I have in my life, they would be endless... yet I would get to this trial and be stumped... unlike being able to put losing 'him' in a box... I can't put my physical health in a box, I have to deal with it daily. 
Anyhow, I wanted to thank many of you who reached out to me over the months making sure I was okay. I honestly can't thank you all enough. I kept up with my other social media because it was easy to like a picture or share a post... at least I could keep up you all and know how you were making out. I have truly missed writing... and I have missed the blogging world... we have a pretty close community. I have come to know so many of you through other methods of social media, I am pretty grateful for the technology that gives us the ability to be and stay in contact with one another. 

I'm going to write at least once a week, more if I feel the need and I am going to take this next week to catch up with all of your blogs. I am looking forward to getting back into the blogging world again. It will take me a little time to get back into the swing of it, I know once I am back on track... it will be like old times... I have been gone for far too long...

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  1. Aw, Launna, God bless you, honey. I have been away from blogging, too, for quite a while. Just too much going on here. Oddly enough, I did something to my back last weekend and have been on ice/heat/pain relievers for the past week. ugh. My heart aches for you. I know how you loved exercising and taking care of yourself after you put "him" in the "box".

    I think I told you that many years ago I went through a similar experience with unrelenting pain through my body. My body basically attacked itself. They tested me for everything MS, lupus, Lyme Disease, on and on....everything came back negative. I went on some heavy duty inflammatories (for almost 2 years) and eventually my body went into a restive state and I have never had a full flare like that again. It was to the point where I could not even take a deep breath...and I was working because I had to work. Looking back, I don't know how I ever worked with the pain that wracked my body.

    I am praying for you today, Launna. I pray they find the root cause of your pain and then be able to set up a path to recovery for you. God bless you and I am sending good thoughts and love your way.

    Being away from blogging means I didn't know who was blogging and who wasn't and I am sorry I didn't know before this that you have been in such a rough patch. xo Diana

  2. It is nice to have you back and I am sorry for what you are going through. Even if there is some good lesson in it all -- doesn't make it any easier to get through and so I am sorry you are going through it. Pain is the worst and I hope you find someway to ease it. HUGS!

  3. I'm so sad you are in so much pain, but it's great to see that you are back to blogging and writing again, especially if it helps you. Nice to see a post from you :)

    I hope you are getting some promising results and ideas from the doctors for things to try. My friend deals with chronic pain and he's done a few trials and programs to help. Sometimes he has good days, sometimes bad days. It's so frustrating for him, as I imagine it is for you too!

    Hope you are having a really good weekend!

    Away From The Blue Blog

  4. Launna, it's great to have you back in the blogging world, though I'm very sorry to know how hard things have been for you. I wish and hope that you get answers about your health, and find ways to reduce the pain.

    Sometimes there are no obvious answers for why we go through certain things in our lives. I just hope things improve for you soon, both physically and mentally, so you're able to return to your normal activities. Writing on a regular basis is definitely a positive step, and the act of writing can really be helpful in making sense of our feelings.

    Lots of love Saba xx


  5. Welcome back! It's been hard for me to write lately too. I wish I could get back to the simplicity of just writing. I miss it so much. Good to see you here and you are in my prayers!

  6. Dear Launna! I'm so glad you're back! I can't imagine what you've been through and in what pain you are daily, but let me tell you - you inspire me in so many ways. Even when you're hurting, you push yourself to do things. Not a lot of people do that. You're amazing! I hope you feel a little better day by day. Have you tried meditation? That sometimes helps.

  7. My dear Launna, it is so good to see you posting.
    I am so sorry to read about the pain you are experiencing, I just hope that things will improve.
    Sending positive thoughts and healing wishes to you.

    Take care my blogging friend.

    All the best Jan

  8. So, so glad to see you back Launna! Looking forward to more of your posts.

  9. I missed you lot dea Launna!

    I ammmglad that you are fine and safe under the blessings of God .
    Though test is going on in your life but i believe everything has end and with your STRENGTH OF COURAGE <HOPE AND FAITH YOU WILL PUSH IT AWAY hopefully!

    this is great that you were connected to some of your friends ,sharing is amazing kind of soul therapy and it helps you to feel better!

    i am glad tht you will keep in touch from now .

    my best wishes for you health are always with you my friend!

    Stay positive and strong i am sure you can do this as through your words i feel you are incredibly STRONG LADY!!!

  10. Hi Launna,

    I suspected things were bad for you, as you don't usually take such a long break from blogging and at some points I was quite worried, but it's really nice to read one of your blog posts again.

    I know you're going through so much right now and the pain must be unbearable, but I know you're not looking for sympathy. I don't know why many tests are given to us in life, but perhaps you wont know yet until you come through the other side? I always feel like we don't know the reasons until we're over them and can look back and reflect.

    I'm not sure what a good reason would be for giving you constant pain for so long, but perhaps the only thing I can think is it's building you up in some way to make you stronger for something to come. Or perhaps it could be trying to teach you to change your mindset (I know you're already positive) and power through it and not reflect or dwell on it (I know it's hard when it's a constant painful reminder). I've got no idea, but I hope you manage to find some way of coping and some way to enjoy your life xx.

  11. Yay! I'm so glad that you feel up to writing. I mean, the truth is the truth. If you feel badly, you may as well talk about it, right? We just hate to see you in pain and want you to be healed. Walking around is a good step, even though it hurts so much. I like your idea of writing more, because it's a way to connect with others who may have some good ideas. God is a Healer, and I'm praying for you. It's good to see you on other forms of Social Media, so at least we know you're still around somewhere. (lol) I'm thrilled to see you. Hang in There! Hugs...RO

  12. At times writer's block can hit, but one can surely overcome it.

  13. I'm experiencing pain too sister, but I'm trying to rise above it by keeping myself occupied whenever I can. While these don't entirely help me forget, they minimize me from thinking too much. This morning I was telling my good friend that life is not fair.
    Anyways hang in there. I pray you find the healing you need some day. You're on the right track.
    Nice to see you back. :-)


  14. When I saw your comment on my blog, I was hoping it meant that your pain had passed. I'm so sorry to hear that it hasn't, but it sounds like you're handling it as well as anyone could. Let's hope the doctors come up with something that will give you relief... and soon. Hang in there, sweetie.

  15. I'm so happy to see you back Launna, I missed you a lot!
    But I'm so sorry to read about the pain, I wish you all the best darling!!!
    Kisses, Paola.

  16. Welcome back, Launna, I'll pray for you I hope you can understand the lesson to learn. Life is challenging, I hope blogging will help you find some lovely moments to spend with us :)))

  17. Nice to see you back, Launna. Stay beautiful and strong :)

  18. I follow the posts you share on Google + so I knew you were still kicking :) I have missed your blog. You take care of yourself.

  19. Welcome back honey! I am so happy to see that you are back!
    I am so sorry you have been in such pain lately... had similar situation too!
    We have to keep fighting!
    So so happy you are back
    Maggie D.
    IndianSavageBlog by Maggie Dallospedale

  20. Sim, é verdade! ;D

    Launna! Escrever é sempre bom pra desabafar. Acho que é um jeito eficaz de aliviar as tristezas! Vou aguardar sua volta "oficial" ao Blog, viu?!

    Estimo melhoras para a sua saúde!

    Ótima quinta!

    Beijo! ^^

  21. So happy you are writing again. I hope you are finding ways to cope with the pain. I feel sure to keep moving will help..somehow..even if its slowly. I do hope you are finding some joy with your family and friends. Hope to see more of your writing.

    Thank you so much for your notes.

    Peace, Love and Understanding...and always writing...


  22. Hi Launna. I am so glad to see you back. I am sorry for what you have been going through.
    Simera |Beautetude

  23. Hi Launna,

    Thanks for all your sweet comments! i have been off commenting, but will have more time soon! i hope you are well.


  24. So happy to see you back on the grid!!! Your presence was definitely missed. I was excited when I came across your comment over at my place. :) Time off can be good. I don't get to blog like I used to, but I'm not relaxing, I'm just busy with other things now. I would love some time to just breathe...but am thankful for what I have, for sure. :) xoxo

  25. Sorry it took me so long to get back over here. And I'm sorry that you have been in pain again. Praying things start looking up, and glad you are back to blogging. Big hugs to you.

  26. Hello Launna! I am glad that you are back <3

    Love and many Hugs from Vienna!

  27. Dear Launna, I forced myself blogging today, I was a lot stressed...
    and it helped me a lot. I hope you feel a little better after starting againg :)))

  28. Launna! Aqueles dois produtos são incríveis. Estou amando e usando direto! Logo conto sobre esses itens com mais detalhes! ;D

    Ótima terça!

    Beijo! ^^

  29. Hi Launna,
    I can totally relate to the pain you may have to go through and here I mean physically. Thanks to the horrible muscle pull I had and m still taking medication fr the same. Pain definitely changes u and I experienced that in these few days, u feel helpless and frustrated. Thankfully I have had my parents beside me and i feel blessed & thankful.Hope to see more blogs from you soon and i will be going fr xray on thursday and hopefully won't have the need for physiotherapy my gut feeling says so, please pray for me.. Have a great week ahead

  30. Hello Launna!! It is really nice to hear from you and glad you are back, I am not blogging as often, like once a month at the moment as I am really busy at work and taking work home...
    I hope you are coping well, it must be really difficult to live when only walking is painful... I really hope things get better
    Have a lovely week dear

  31. Good to see you again, Launna! All of us have our difficulties. I know sometimes I get so involved with all of the problems I have, that it's easy to think I'm the only one who has them. But then I read about other blogger's trials and tribulations. It's a reminder to me, that every single one of us is dealing with something. I don't know what we learn from it all, except to appreciate the good times. And maybe to realize that we're not alone. People care. Hope things get better for you! Hugs!

  32. Hello dearest Launna. It's been a long time since I visited your lovely blog, although I do occasionally see some of your posts on Instagram. ❤️

    I just want you to know that in a way, I know where you are coming from. It can really be difficult to see past our sufferings. But I always find that Scriptures lift me up during those moments. I know our lot in life may be different, but it is the same God that we pray to and who knows every bit of pain that we are going through.

    "Come to Me, all you who labor and are burdened, and I will give you rest." ~ Matthew 11:28

    "For I know well the plans I have in mind for you—oracle of the LORD—plans for your welfare and not for woe, so as to give you a future of hope." ~ Jeremiah 29:11

    Take care always and God bless. ❤️❤️❤️

  33. Oh Launna, part of me is happy because you're back, but the other part of me is sad to hear that you're dealing with so much pain. I understand how does it feel to face yet another trial of difficult situation and say "why? didn't I learn enough last time? What's the point of all this?" and not finding the answer. Sometimes the real answer comes later in life, some other times is in front of us but we don't see it. And yes, sometimes we simply don't figure it out at all! But the important part right now is getting out of that situation, at least little by little. I hope you're feeling better soon, and if not, you can reach any of us anytime. :)

  34. So happy you are back and to get an update on things. You have been in my thoughts and I have wondered how you were doing.

    I hope the pain gets better or easier to handle for sure. Living in pain is very hard. I am glad you are forcing yourself to go out- even if you don't want to do so. Writing will hopefully help with the process of feeling better. Sometimes getting things out of my brain helps me to move on.

    Sending you hugs and positive energy through the universe. :)

  35. Dearest Launna,

    I'm just dropping by to find out how you've been. I wish and hope all is well with you. I also hope the transition to autumn has been fine for you and not too troublesome.

    Lots of love Saba xx



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