Starting Today

I have been wanting to sit down and write for the last few days but life has been extremely busy with the holidays... when I finally had some time to relax, I chose to catch myself up with everyone's blog and I have taken a great deal of time to think. I really have never been one that sits down on New Years Eve and makes resolutions, although I do believe in making goals because if I don't make some sort of goals, I flounder around.

I have used excuses in the past couple of months for not exercising, not eating healthy, not being present... I had my course, my new changes at work and of course Christmas... However, as I thought about it over the past couple of days, I knew that they were only excuses to give myself permission to do as I pleased, I decided today that I am not letting anymore excuses get in my way.

Starting today, I will be eating better, I will be filling in my food journal on My Fitness Pal... I will also be walking/exercising as much as I can and I will be tracking this on Map My Walk again. This Winter seems to be more mild and I couldn't be happier, so I am going to use the nicer weather while I can to get myself started back on track.

This past year I rid myself of excess items, I have a lot more that I need to let go of before I actually move this Summer. My motto lately is about becoming minimalistic about things, I don't feel the need to have excess items, they just take up space and clutter my life. I am downsizing in so many ways and actually looking forward to it...

I also want to take my last payroll course this year which I will likely do this Spring, after year end and before I am in the craziness of moving this Summer... Then I can look at other options and who knows where they will lead me. Although change is extremely difficult, especially when it is handed to us... it really is a good thing, it is just not always easy to see that when we are in the middle of it...

2014 was a year of ups and downs in many ways, I started off the year unable to sleep... that lasted for nine long months but I finally found a way to get more rest. It was a year of learning, constant polishing... wondering if I would get passed all the trials.  There are still some I am working on, others that I got through... and through this whole year I held on to hope.

Hope that all the challenges and changes I had to deal with would eventually make sense one day... I still hold on to that... It is that hope that I have held on to that made me think about what I have been doing in my life and where it was leading me? ... It then led me to think about how hard I had worked to get to where I am today and how I was throwing away all the hard work. My question to myself of course was why? ...

The answer was that I allowed myself to slide so that I could numb myself in whatever way I could find, just so that I wouldn't have to feel. Thankfully, I know that I just had to decide to get back on track and with some hard work, I will be even better than I was in the past. I am well aware that I am going to have to deal with feelings, which I am hoping will be easier now that there is less chaos in my life.

My new motto each morning to myself is 'Starting Today' I will or will not do one thing for the day.... I never want to go back to where I was... which means that I have to make the necessary changes... the key word is 'I'... So, starting today, I am going to be accountable to myself.

I thank each of you for reading and or commenting, it has been a wonderful year of growing new and old friendships over the internet, you all made me feel less alone....  I want to take this opportunity to wish all of my readers a very Happy New Year... I hope 2015 brings you all joy and peace❤

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Christmas This Year

Our Christmas tree, 2014

I have had another busy week at work, thankfully I had a little time to decorate the tree with Valentina... I completed my shopping, now baking and wrapping. I am thinking of begging someone else to do the wrapping as I don't have a fondness for it, I am usually wrapping on Christmas eve. I might actually have it all done by this weekend, that would be great, then I can just relax and enjoy my time off.

I read a couple of blogs that were writing about their goals for 2015, which has inspired me to think about the goals I want to set for myself. I don't care much for New Year's resolutions as I think the day we decided to change a behavior or do something good for ourselves is the right day for us. I also know from past experience that there are going to be many bumps on the road to my goals but it is the road I want to travel, so I will deal with the bumps as they show up.

I wanted to also take a moment to wish everyone a very Merry Christmas or any holiday you may observe... I wish you all much joy and happiness. I have been deeply touched by many of you over the last year as I dealt with my world being turned upside down, you reached out and gave me a little hope that one day it wouldn't be so difficult.

I won't be writing again until after Christmas, I want to spend as much time as I can with Valentina making memories, I am excited to see the look on her face when she opens her gifts. I never spend a lot of money but she is one of the most grateful little girls and this year I was able to get a few items she had been hoping for. . .  so I know she will be a little more excited this year.

My tree turned out beautiful after a small mishap... the first time we decorated, it fell over... it's back up though and all redecorated, I will share more of them on my media when Valentina is unwrapping her gifts. I will be back after Christmas but I will be checking in with you all when I can before that...

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