The Emotional Loop

I was able to get out for a two mile walk yesterday... not enough though.  This rain has me down, I need to find rain boots so that I can walk whenever I want to...  I am tired of waiting for my shoes to dry out each time.

I then spent most of the day with Andrea, Paul and Jackson... we went out for Mexican food.  I ate a salad without the dressing.  It tasted pretty good as the chicken was moist and favorable.  I went over my calories a bit today but still not too bad.  I don't get weighed at work again until next Friday as I was on vacation this week but I weighed myself at home this morning and I am down 5 more pounds... that makes it a total of 15, so far.

I also spent the night copying all the blogs I follow and their links as I keep reading how GFC (Google Friend Connect) is going away... I didn't want to lose any of the people I follow and not everyone is on Bloglovin...  If you would like you can follow me there.  Here is the link to Bloglovin, also if you add Bloglovin to your blog, I will follow you there too. 

I'm lying in bed this morning making mental notes of what I need to do today... listening to the rain against my window.  Usually I love days like this as they give me an excuse to relax.  However; since Andrea, Paul and Jackson are here... I would much prefer there to be nice weather so we could go out with Valentina and do things together as a family. Also, we want to take a family photo together and we want to take it outdoors.

Every time I am sure I have it together, something comes along to show me that I don't.  It's not that I think I can have it all figured out as life is ever changing... no one has it all figured out (if they say they do, they are kidding themselves).  What I mean by having it together is that I am emotionally strong enough to move to the next stage.

I'm not though, why cannot I not get there?... am I always going to be in this loop that never seems to end?  I think I will be there until I can find answers or closure... I need that to move forward.

Until then I will just deal the highs and lows by writing and walking... I'm very dedicated to getting control of my weight.  Definitely in a healthy way as I don't much care if I am 20-30 pounds over weight, as long as I am strong and healthy.  I know people that are the supposedly the perfect weight but they eat the worst food and could not walk a block without wanting to pass out.  Being slim does not mean you're healthy...

I happen to be a woman who embraces her curves and loves them.  I like my shape, I just want a smaller version... one where I can feel comfortable while running a 5 and 10 K... but still look sexy in a dress that shows off my curves.

Eventually with my tenacity I will have both... a strong body with lots of curves.  Will I then be able to free myself from the emotional loop to move forward?

I cherish my past, I accept my present and I dream for my future


  1. Congratulations on your weight loss! I think anyone over the age of 25 has dealt with the up/down cycle of weight loss (I certainly have).

    You also reminded me that I need to decide upon a new blog feed. I still don't know what to do w/ that one, but I know I'm running out of time to get it posted on my blog.

    Keep being good to yourself with your weight loss goals, sweetheart! I support & encourage you. :)

    - Dawn

  2. Thank you Dawn... I wish I was SO sure about other things in my life as I am about my weight loss... it's the other things that have me in an emotional loop...:-/

  3. Google friend is going away???? Launna your posts are always so honest and positive.I agree with HD....keep beng gentle and good to you. Happy rest of the weekend

  4. Thank you Nikki...I appreciate the sweet comment.

    I don't know if GFC is going for sure, I keep hearing that from everyone. :-/

  5. Some people say that GFC is going away and others say it's just Google Reader. I suppose we'll see! I am confused ab out the whole thing lol.

  6. Thank you Keith... so am I confused... I just took precautions in case... lol

  7. I'm on bloglovin too! Great accomplishment on the weight loss. Your determination will definitely pay off!!

  8. Thank you Joy,you really inspired me!! I added you to Bloglovin :)

  9. Congratulations on your weight loss! I think strong and healthy is an admirable goal.

  10. Thank you Daisy... I agree... it is not about being thin.. it is about being healthy :)

  11. Oh no, I heard Google Reader was going away but what's Friend Connect? Is that if I have a blogroll linked on my sidebar? I seriously hope not because that's where I know who has posted recently and I'll be REALLY sad if I have to individually go to each blog. Oh well, nothing is forever right?

    KUDOS on the weight loss my friend! What a major accomplishment! I have been biking as you know & maintained my weight but now recently added in a 5 day/wk cardio plan (last week) and I'm down 2 pounds. We can do this!

    I bet the more you work on your physical self your mental/emotional self will start to shift too, it's inevitable that you'll start to push out of the loop :-)

  12. Thanks Jen... GFC is still around... I just had so many people telling me that it was going ... they were wrong.

    I have to say I love Bloglovin though... I had other blogs that I follow from Wordpress and such... I can put them all into Bloglovin and it is so simple... I will leave a message on your blog... or maybe tweet you :)


I love and appreciate all genuine comments, to save a little time, I won't be commenting on the comments on my blog (unless you don't have a blog), I will just visit your blog and comment there, if you have left a meaningful comment for me... I would much rather spend the time reading and commenting on a few extra blogs ❤