I Understand Why

This week seemed to be a turning point for me ... I started off great with the IF program I wrote about last week, I had a few small bumps when I had to deal with some upsetting news. I felt like the wind had been knocked out of me, I was left trying to get air in... the air of course came and so did the tears. Within a day I had said a heartfelt prayer and others joined in with me. By mid week the crises was over.

I decided that nothing mattered, not the past, not things... only people matter. I realized while dealing with this that all I wanted was for everything to be okay ... even if it meant that I might never regain things I had lost. Although that thought is sad, anytime you lose someone important, it's not easy to deal with... But... if it means they are happy, isn't that all that matters? I decided that was all that mattered to me.
I've been sleeping a bit better, actually dreaming even. Although some dreams are sad, it feels good to dream again. Some of them are good, some quite hopeful.. after this week of turmoil, I understood why some things worked out the way they did, if they had not, other things would not have been able happen ... and they needed to happen.

I couldn't see the big picture for a long time, when I did catch a glimpse of it this week... I was in awe of what was possible. I knew precisely at that moment that I had to go through the nine months of deep sadness that I went through so that I could be ready for what awaits me in the future.
It has changed my outlook on so many things, I'm not sure I can even put words to what I came to understand. This has been a refining and a defining week for me, I could have totally fallen apart but I didn't... and because I didn't I gained some insight I really needed to learn.  I understand a little better why....
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75 comments :

  1. That's wonderful that you are sleeping better. I bet it has everything to do with "clearer" understanding.

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  2. I'm so glad you are getting some clarity on past events and sleeping better.

    I wonder...do you think it has anything to do with IF? I have NO pain anymore in my joints, and this morning as I got ready for work, I realized my rosacea (which I have had for years especially on my chin) is going away. I didn't even need any cover stick on it this morning! All that and emotional stability too! Not sure all that is related to IF, but it seems suspicious that these improvements have come along for me since IF.

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  3. You are my inspiration, you give so much love no matter what you are going through. I am happy that things are looking up and you are dreaming again. I am loving that second quote a lot.

    Sending positive energy your way.

    Anne
    http://www.liebeladies.com

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  4. So you had a bit of an epiphany huh? :-) As for the dreaming, well, everyone dreams, every night. We just don't always remember.

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  5. the first quote ist just wonderful - and so truth!
    great to hear you feel better sweety!
    happy weekend!

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  6. I loved this post. You are so honest. I am so happy that you sleep better!

    www.writingmonique.com

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  7. You post made me think more clearly about things going on around me. I am searching for some answers right now. Thanks.

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  8. I also cried yesterday. I almost never dream but I prefer not to dream, when I dream while sleeping I think so much about what I have dreamed. Hugs!

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  9. Have a great day Launna! You deserve it. xoxo

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  10. Beautifully written again. And it's true. Life comes first, love thereafter. And after love, there is understanding.

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  11. The tides of time have it's own rhythm. It is difficult to make sense of the Lord's eternal canvas. Glad that you are feeling better and stronger.

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  12. Great post hun and what a lovely blog :) I'm Jenna btw and recently started a blog on self help, happiness, positivity and motivation. It'd be amazing if you checked it out and tell me what you think :)

    http://www.livenpresent.com
    xxx

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  13. Hi adorable Launna,
    I love your last quote <3 "I dream for my future" It's so true!!
    I hope you an adorable day
    Kisses
    Maggie D.
    The Indian Savage Diary Fashion blog

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  14. I love your honesty and how you pour yourself out in this post. I am always searching for answers to life's questions and why things happen the way they do and I figure sometimes the answers aren't obvious at the moment but only at the right time do we look back and say yes that happened for this and this reason.
    Have a beautiful weekend. I hope it's warmer in your end than it is in Toronto.
    Beautetude

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  15. It's interesting how gradual the healing process is. Here's a quote that helped me from a book called Straight Talking.

    "You gradually get over the pain. It doesn’t go away, not for a long time, but it becomes easier to live with. One morning you wake up and he’s not the first thing on your mind. And then a few months down the line you realize you’ve made it through half the day without thinking of him. Sometimes it takes months, sometimes, years, but eventually you reach a point when you only think about them occasionally. You manage to do this because you don’t see them, you don’t hear about them, you try not to think about them. And then you bump into them walking down the street, or someone unexpected mentions their name … and the memories come flooding back. But memories also become less painful in time, and I can talk about Simon now without really feeling anything. But I’d rather not. If you know what I mean."

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  16. Your writing is great and I can totally feel what you're going through.It's good that you are able to dream again,it means that your sleep has enhanced :)

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  17. It is good to hear that you had a better week and learned some things. It is always a plus when you start to sleep better!
    www.amemoryofus.com

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  18. lovely post, and yeah at the end it's really the people who we care about who matters... I had a similar experience a while back where I felt that I was miserable no matter how much stuff I had or even on pay days. Sometimes we lose things and it becomes a lesson :) have a great weekend!

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  19. I'm glad you're finding clarity over there. :) I'm also glad you made it through a rough spot a-okay!!

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  20. Arrasou na postagem amei bom final de semana.
    Blog: http://arrasandonobatomvermelho.blogspot.com.br
    Canal de youtube: http://www.youtube.com/NekitaReis

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  21. You have way more strength than you seem to give yourself credit for. Look at what you have gone through and where you have gotten! Keep going! Hugs!

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  22. Launna, I'm sorry to hear you got some upsetting news this week, but I'm glad to hear you worked your way through it and things improved. We all have roadblocks like that sometimes. As long as we keep going and find a way around them, we can still get where we want to be. Happy weekend to you! :-)

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  23. I hate to hear that something bad happened to upset you--but it is a testament of your strength that you are here still writing and and dealing with it the best way you can. Continue to stay strong, my friend….things will get better.

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  24. Hi Launna, your posts are always so inspiring. I'm glad you are sleeping a bit better. You are very strong. Have a lovely weekend!

    Jasmine ♥♥♥
    For a Real Woman - Instagram - Bloglovin

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  25. I'm so happy that you are sleeping better.... you are stringe Launna, I know it and I Wish you all the best My dear friend!!!!!
    Kisses from Italy!
    Love, Paola.
    Expressyourself
    My Facebook

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  26. Hi Launna,

    I am sorry that you have been having a rough time lately, but it's always good to be able to sleep good and I love dreaming. It always gives me insight no matter if they are good or bad. Thanks for your comment yesterday. I need to visit more often. I am so busy lately. My son is in preschool now, I have been making clothes left and right and trying to be SuperMom and find enough hours in the day to get all the things done I need to. Have a good weekend and I will be back soon!
    Pip
    xx Easy Outfits, by Pip

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  27. Sorry about the tough times you've had but you have an amazing strength in you and with every hit, you bounce back again and again and again. In your corner cheering for you. Be strong and have a great weekend Launna.

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  28. hi Launna i repass
    have a good weekend
    http://tr3ndygirl.com
    kiss

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  29. Lau querida bom final de semana para você e família.
    Blog: http://arrasandonobatomvermelho.blogspot.com.br
    Canal de youtube: http://www.youtube.com/NekitaReis

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  30. Hi dear Launna, I am so sorry that you have been dealing with some hard issues. I am glad that you are sleeping better. I dream every single night, and have been for quite some time now. Very deep involved dreams where I am working and around many people.

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  31. I'm glad your sleeping has improve!! Hope you have a great weekend.
    www.effortlesslady.com

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  32. Hi Launna :) ,great news that you find more sleep <3

    Wish you a wonderful Weekend ,lovely big Hugs :)

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  33. SO glad your sleep has improved! Have a lovely weekend Launna, and thanks for all your sweet comments on my blog :-)

    cranberrydeer.com

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  34. I can relate to see much of what you write and how you feel. I believe you are true friends.

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  35. Amo tus "quotes", saludos amiga, gran post.

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  36. Wow Launna! I can imagine how you feel! I hope that everything
    is gonna be all right soon!

    xoxo
    www.its-dash.com

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  37. You can never regain things or people done away o dead, I know it well, Launna. I hope yu have a sunny Sunday, also for your soul, we all need interior light :)))

    xoxo
    www.bellezzefelici.blogspot.com

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  38. Launna,

    Thank you for the sweet comments on my blog!! I'm going to try to keep up with it now, I've jist had so much going on!! Feel free to add me on Facebook so we can keep in touch!! I'm always on there, even when I neglect my blog, lol.

    This was a great post. I'm happy for you!! It sounds like you've had an epiphany and I'm sure you feel tons better now. I'm glad to hear things are going well for you. You're a sweet woman, you deserve an amazing, stress free life!!

    xo, Sarah
    http://www.hustlababy09.blogspot.com

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  39. i cherish my past....................for my future
    I just loved this Launna

    KEEP IN TOUCH
    www.hairfashionbeautyblog.blogspot.in

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  40. it's good that you can look into the future ... and yes, people matter - not things. but it doesn't only matter that others are happy. YOU have to be happy, too. this is your life ... you should be happy ...

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  41. i'm quite fine, have caught a little cold but the fashion show was awesome and such an interesting experience. and i've got great friends who are always there for me ...

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  42. am so happy to read that you are getting clarity it must be good feeling and also that you are able to dream again.
    great post dear as always
    kisses

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  43. Awesome! I love the quotes in this post. Hope you have a fun new week!


    PS: I am now following you on bloglovin, I hope you can follow me too if you haven't yet. Thanks!


    Kenny,
    WHAT KENNY HEARTS
    INSTAGRAM @kennydaily / BLOGLOVIN / FACEBOOK

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  44. Just dropping by to say Hi! Hope you had a great weekend.
    Beautetude

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  45. If there's one thing I've learned is that every day's a school day. Some lessons are much harder than others.

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  46. hi dear Launna your quote ist just wonderful
    http://tr3ndygirl.com
    kiss

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  47. I'm happy you're sleeping better now. You're really honest writting all that stuff. Thanks for sharing. You're always so inspiring to me
    kss
    new post:
    http://tupersonalshopperviajero.blogspot.com.es/2014/09/mint-white-ootd.html

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  48. thanks for your lovely comment in my blog :)
    would u like to follow each other..? follow me and let me know, i will follow u back soon :)
    keep in touch!
    http://glamiseverything.blogspot.com

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  49. i wish you a wonderful new week sweety!!!

    <3, Kathrin
    http://www.getcarriedaway.net/

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  50. Buon lunedì e buona settimana!!!

    WWW.ANGELICHIC.COM

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  51. Launna you are the only person I have ever come across who is full of so much positivity and keep inspiring with your lovely writes no matter what you are goin through..you always show that ray of hope! I just love it and you too! <3

    Have a lovely week ahead :)
    Charu
    http://www.myglossyaffair.com/
    http://www.myfashionfootprints.com/

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  52. I'm happy you have been able to get to a turning point. Your first quote is one of my favourites and I really do believe things fall apart so we can learn to put them back together even better!
    Www.theurbanumbrella.com

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  53. Postagem maravilhosa amei tenha uma semana abençoada.
    Blog: http://arrasandonobatomvermelho.blogspot.com.br
    Canal de youtube: http://www.youtube.com/NekitaReis

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  54. Hey,
    You have a great blog. Would you like to follow each other !
    Keep in touch
    www.indianbeautydiary.com

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  55. Awesome. We definitely have seasons of trial, eh? I had a seminary teacher once who wisely told us, "It's when you stop asking why and start asking what you're supposed to learn from this experience that the trial goes away." Here's to gaining enough altitude to take that perspective, eh?

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  56. This is a very inspiring post. I wish you luck and perseverance on your journey!

    http://bellapummarola.blogspot.it/

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  57. Very inspirational. Glad you're sleeping better also despite the sad dreams.

    www.internetlyaddicted.blogspot.co.uk

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  58. Sometimes you feel you are one of those game pieces in Jumangi. I'm sure this is all making you stronger. May you have more restful nights to come.

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  59. Hello my dear Launna!! I've been really away from the net as you would have already noticed..and I would just like to thank you for even noticing that!! My life's pretty messed up right now, and ughhh...too many worries!!! So i tried to avoid blogging, thinking that it would mean 1 less worry, but ironically, I didn't realise that it is a stress buster. And Launna, I am so happy for you that you're getting better sleeps...I wish i could dream again too!! SERIOUSLY!!!! :( :( You're always an inspiration for me, and I hope you realise that <3

    http://anshul90.com

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  60. I fail in the understanding part of the sentence. Hugs

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  61. lovely post. I needed something positive and real at the same time. it's a bit of a cliche, but everything happens for a reason, and life is about figuring it all out... xoxo

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  62. Nice post!
    Have a lovely evening!!

    http://ladyparisienne.fr/

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  63. i'm happy to know that you're finally sleeping Launna. :) i agree that people matters. i mean, they are the ones who make you stronger, make you happy, make you sad... they affect you in unthinkable ways but make you who you are today. :)) and i'm glad that you're starting to understand things better. :) anyway, thanks so much for the comment you left on my last post dear. i really do appreciate. :">

    xoxo, rae
    http://www.raellarina.net/

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  64. Que postagem maravilhosa amei
    Blog: http://arrasandonobatomvermelho.blogspot.com.br
    Canal de youtube: http://www.youtube.com/NekitaReis

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  65. Life's lessons aren't always easy to accept, but as we learn them, but we have to learn them to move on to the next level of understanding and maturity. You've grown a lot in the past year. And if we're very lucky, we'll never stop growing.

    Glad to hear you're finally sleeping better.

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  66. Your post is inspiring as always. I am glad you are sleeping better, and that you gained insight from life. What a gracious thought, to care about wanting others to be happy. You are truly a wonderful person :)

    MJ // www.littlepandacrafts.blogspot.com

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I love and appreciate all genuine comments, to save a little time, I won't be commenting on the comments on my blog (unless you don't have a blog), I will just visit your blog and comment there, if you have left a meaningful comment for me... I would much rather spend the time reading and commenting on a few extra blogs ❤