How About We Stop Pretending?

I know most of us put on persona's or facades, sometimes because we think that is what people want to see, others because we want to appear stronger than we might be... sometimes because we fear if we give into how we are really feeling behind the facade that we may always remain there. I am here today, taking the facade off... I am struggling in all parts of my life... not just slightly struggling but all out overwhelming struggles. Do I think I am the only one, not at all... however; I think we don't share it enough because we are sure people will either judge us or try to tell us to just think positively. 

There are times that thinking positively does not make things better... and no I don't think any of us should wallow in negativity, I agree we need to keep reaching and working on attaining a positive attitude. Yet, I think we also need to admit when we are feeling weak and possibly out of control. I actually don't think that it is weak to admit that... it is like people that are dealing with addictions, they need to be able to admit their weakness in the open so that they can gain strength from people . Often it is admitting their weaknesses that helps them to become strong in time. 
I have been struggling with every aspect of my life, there is no where that I am excelling... usually I have my writing that helps to elevate me... and in part it still does but... if I am not truthfully saying how I am feeling and what is really going on in my life... am I being authentic? That is not me, if anything I am extremely authentic but lately I haven't been, I have just been muddling through... thinking if I can just keep pushing forward I will get to a place that I don't feel so out of control... However; I just feel more and more overwhelmed. 

Before I go any further, I hope people can understand that no one really knows what is going on inside of someone. Just because everything looks okay on the outside doesn't mean it is... and just because things look good on the outside doesn't mean any of us has the right to make a judgement of that person. Since I have not been really speaking my truth, it has been spilling out to where it is now showing on the outside. Personally if I don't deal with my feelings by being open about them, they come out in other ways. I am sure we can all say the same thing... in no way do I feel that I am the only one. 
I can no longer sit here and say or pretend everything is okay, it isn't... I spoke about how I don't handle disappointment well... lately it keeps coming back to me about how my life is no where near what I had hoped it to be... I understand that often we have to give up what we thought we should be to become what we are supposed to become. I have given up a lot of those dreams and honestly nothing is replacing them. What am I working towards? Just working for another 15 plus years...? What is good about that? 

Plus I was injured again this week, it was a freak incident... I just put my foot down and I hyper extended my knee... I couldn't walk for days and even now that I can, I still feel tenderness and pain... my physio therapist says it will probably be 4-6 weeks before I am back to myself... yes I can walk again but nothing like what I could... I need to be able to walk, it is my stress reliever... I don't know what else to use right now... I feel like I am falling further, wondering if I will find a way to stop free falling ... ?
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  1. Oh Launna, I am so sorry to hear you feeling so down but I am glad you decided to share it with us. When we are deep in a funk, maybe even a depression, it is hard to see the light. I find that the only thing that can truly get me out of my head is action. And that’s easier said than done because this kind of funk can be quite paralyzing. But just one small action or decision can be enough to get you back on the path. This could be anything, spending 10 minutes every morning to handwrite your thoughts into a private diary or cooking a delicious and healthy meal from scratch or picking up the phone and calling a friend. Sometimes, when we feel like we are being pulled down by the undertoe, it helps to just stop fighting it and just be where you are and let the flow take you where it takes you. Then, once you are not feeling so exhausted from the struggle, you will find that you have recovered enough strength to dive back to the surface. I hope you leg heals soon, these kind of injuries are such a pain because they take so long to heal, but you’ve done it before, you can do it again. Hugs xo

  2. Lots of Hugs Launna, i´m so sorry that you can´t walk like you want it.
    i believe that better Days are coming for you dear Friend <3

    lovely Greetings to you

  3. Oh, Launna! There is no shame in keeping it real... so glad you've opened up! I hope you get lots of support and encouragement from your readers!!

    I'm sorry you were re-injured... and that some bad news came along with it. But, everything happens for a reason... so I hope your reason comes along soon!!!

    All the Cute

  4. Dear Launna, I hope you get better very soon and can enjoy spring. I think we should try to be what we really want to, but society presses too much. Have a wonderful week!

    Jasmine ♥♥♥

  5. Dear Launna, I'm sorry to read that you're going through a time of depression. But I ask you to react, because I think this is really important. You should only focus yourself in the things you love and forget the negative thoughts.
    I hug you.
    Dear Laura, I'm sorry to read that you're going through a time of depression. But I beg you to react, because I think this is really important. You should only focus yourself in the things you love and forget the negative thoughts.
    I hug you.
    Maggie Dallospedale Fashion diary - Fashion blog

  6. A positive attitude is the solution, believe my dear friend!
    Thanks for sharing your negative thoughts with us, the support, suggestions and advices from your followers are very important!
    I hope you get better soon!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Kisses, Paola.


    My Facebook

  7. I wish I had wise words of advice to help you through this tough time. I have found that the times when I am feeling out of control and overwhelmed it has helped me tremedously just to let others know how I am feeling. I didn't care if they judged me- I just had to get my negative thoughts out there and once they were out there I wasn't holding on to them as tightly. I do hope that is what happens for you.

    So sorry to hear about your knee. The recovery definitely adds to your feelings, since walking is such a great stress reliever for you.

    I may not have the right words to help you, but I am listening to what you have to say and am sending you hugs and comforting thoughts. :)

  8. Yes yes yes and yes to everything you wrote.
    It seems we are on similar unfortunate paths.

    You know what stinks? Having to justify your right to say EVERYTHING IS CRAPPY because it isn't socially acceptable.

    Oh my gosh I understand you so well, Launna.
    I wish I knew how to make it better.
    If I knew how to make it better I would tell you, share it with you.

    Until then, you have a friend with you stumbling around in the dark and also hurting herself on disappointment, false hopes, the irony of life, and unexpected sharp and blunt objects.

    Sending you love and empathy because it's the only thing I can do.

  9. With spring practically here, I'm excited about getting out there to walk..enjoy warmer days. Still, the wind is biting and those strolls don't last long. Oh, and work. It always remains a mystery to me. So true we don't know what is going on with THE BOSS, the co-worker, even those strangers we help. It can be overwhelming. And I will be honest..I'm the first to think I was the stupid one. It is hard not to be rash, wondering what is to become of a routine I haven't seen in ages. It seems many places want you to be willing to do take up the slack. Yet sometimes, that makes your real job suffer.

    I hope you are on the mend. I hope you can enjoy the holiday approaching.

  10. I'm so sorry to hear you were injured again. I used to be able to walk a great deal, but I've been having back problems lately which is holding me back. I've been riding an exercise bike, but it's not the same as walking for me. Thinking of you. I hope your knee heals quickly.

  11. Oh Launna, I am so sorry to learn that you've injured yourself again and I can only imagine how frustrated you are about this. I have no words to comfort you, I know you are angry...I can feel it throughout this post but I am here as a genuine friend. If you ever need someone to talk to, please know that I am an email away....sometimes it's easier to talk and vent to someone who you don't really know because they don't judge like people who knows you in real life. Hugs, Launna..I hope things will change for the better for you soon. xx

    Shireen | Reflection of Sanity

  12. Oh Launna, sorry to hear that you was injured this week. I hope that you feel better very soon! I wish you all the best! Hope the weather will be better also! It will brighten a lot of things!


  13. Haven't read your blog in so long, but it's till as inspiring as usual. I think it's important that others find out who we are and learn to love us for who we are. Sometimes I just wish to find someone, who would just listen to me.

    Have a wonderful day and stay positive <3

  14. I'm sorry to hear you're going through a rough patch. There really isn't anything I can say that will make things better, but just know that I care. Hang in there, kiddo. Consider yourself hugged.

  15. I agree that we all put on facades at times. I do not think we do it for ourselves, but rather for others. We do not want to burden others with how we may be feeling at any given moment. But a balance must be struck. We cannot hold everything inside. I think normal petty everyday things probably should sometimes be held inside. But the deep stuff that holds us down probably needs an outlet of some sort. Even if it is not a verbal one!

  16. Lau querida que bela atitude, nunca esqueça, Força, Fé e Foco,
    tenha uma semana abençoada.

  17. Dearest Launna, you know that I went through a month of deep depression, so I totally can empathize. Sending you many warm hugs and much love.

  18. Dear Launna,
    hard times are always difficult to live, I think that masks are not so useful in the long term, help us tell a lot of lies. But a life without masks is not so easy at all. I send you a big big hug!


  19. Launna many people use masks to hide behind them, always.
    But I do not think this is the right attitude to understand themselves and to make themselves understood and understood by others.
    Kisses dear.

    La Flò ♡ blog

  20. Dear Launna, I hope you're feeling better today. I had no idea what were you going thourgh and I'm sorry to hear all of this. I know how releiving exercise is for you and i can only hope for a quicker recovering. I know what is to feel like you're free falling, and how sad it's to give up on certain dreams because of major reasons that are out of our hands. Believe me, although I'm young it doesn't mean that I never had tough experiences in life. I do sympathize with those feelings and in moments like this a generic, although all hearitly, 'stay positive' isn't enough.
    Having said that, all I can say to you is 'stay strong', do you know why? Because you still have a lot to do and experience in this life, and because your story inspires others who, like me, always come to your blog looking for wise words. I know you'll stay strong because you know more than anyone here your self-worth.
    Sending you love. <3

  21. Launna, I hope you feel better, does writing help you? then continue because you do it so well!
    I really hope your leg is OK and you can soon walk as normal, I was a month not able to walk after a surgery and I did not know what to do with myself...
    Sending you lots of love

  22. I'm so sorry to hear you hurt your self again. I pray better days are ahead for you and you get over your struggles soon. Much love and hugs.

  23. Aw hun :-( In a way I am relieved to hear you say out loud that everything is NOT okay and that you are struggling. Saying it and admitting it is the first step to improvement and getting better. And I really hope you get there soon. I want you to be well. You deserve to be well.

  24. Hey Launna, I think there is a phase when we feel a high and a low and reading your blog makes me feel you aren't experiencing the high right now. But you know that a high is coming soon and I hope all your problems get solved. Get well soon my dear Launna!
    Nilu Yuleena Thapa
    BIG hair LOUD mouth

  25. I get in ruts from time to time and it's difficult to move on. I don't say much about it because I know, as the old saying goes, that life is a Farris Wheel. You have to be on bottom to get to the top but you never remain in either place.

  26. Whatever wont break us will streighten us. I know it is easy to say and more difficult to actually live with this rule... Im sorry to hear you was injured. I hope it will pass soon. Stay awesome! You always inspire me to fight for my life <3

  27. It's really hard to be positive when everything seems to be going wrong. It's like going through a huge thunderstorm. Some storms last longer than others. Keep reading positive quotes, share your troubles with your closest friends for support, and know that "this too shall pass."

  28. It is very true that noone really knows what is going on to somebody just on the surface. Hoping things start to get better for you soon.

  29. Hmm... I'm not sharing for a pity party. I'm sharing hoping you'll draw strength from it? Some poeple, including you, know bits and parts of what happened to me. I was blindsided by a divorce I didn't want. Thrown in domestic violence to get me out (and court afterwards to extend a protection order), and the fact that I left everything behind, including my car and life was/is tough. I went from comfortable and very happy, to very uncomfortable and for awhile not always happy. That happened in May. I still don't have a car. My excellent credit went kaput when I couldn't keep up payments. We walk everywhere, so of course Murphy threw in an emergency hysterectomy, so I couldn't walk. -_- Talk about a rough time finding quality work in such circumstances. Yeah... I won't go there. Anyway, long story short, I still don't have a car, and I've had to start life over at 45!!! UGH!! I wanted to be so much further than this...I thought I was! AND THEN this...but in reality, it's okay. I have a plethora of experiences behind me that have me starting on good footing, even if the typical person cannot see/recognize it. :) I asked for a help from people, not something easy for me to do... but quickly found out when you mention domestic violence it changes how people think of you, you go from being a long-term upstanding citizen to something I can't identify, but it isn't pretty. 'Trash' comes to mind, but that's harsh. Pity--but stay away, your situation makes you too needy? I dont' know...something. Still and the same, the civil dispute left people (not family) far from wanting to help me. In fact, it seeemed to repel them from wanting to help me. And agencies wouldn't help because I couldn't drive to them to 'meet the requirements.' This all happened with no knowledge at all to me that it was coming, and my husband had never laid a hand on me before (of course!). It's all left me really really really broken, but I'm picking myself up, Launna, and I refuse to be unhappy. I have so many blessings, most especially my children. I intend to enjoy every single one of those blessings regardless of my crappy circumstances. Crappy circumstances change, crappy attitudes from other people change too (and if they don't, that doesn't define me and it's their misunderstanding/problem, not mine), and I'll keep pushing 'til I'm good. Better than good. In the meantime, I'm not wasting one second of the time I have, it's my precious gift, and I intend to enjoy it. Circumstances be daRned. :) Internal peace beats all exterior bring-me-downs. I wish the same, my friend, for you. :) Hoping you heal soon, and that you find a new stress releiver in the meantime. :)

    1. Thank you for sharing this Mail4rosey, I know it is said that misry loves company, bla, bla, bla but I believe that sharing is helping.

      This is me sending positive vibes to you Launna.
      God is your strength, hold on and please believe that things will work out for good because what you think and believe will eventually affect what happens on the outside- it is a universal law.

      I'm truly sorry to learn about the recent accident- many hugs and I pray for a quick and easy healing for you.
      Life's not easy, we all are winging it but it helps to have some sort of hope that things will get better eventually- a way will be made no matter what happens.

      God bless you.

  30. Amiga Lau passando pra ti desejar um dia maravilhoso

  31. I hope you'll get well soon Launna. I'm sure you'll be able to walk again without pain soon. Have a happy week!

    xoxo, rae

  32. I totally agree - when we only present the "good" things to the world, we lose the opportunity for help and growth. I'm so sorry that you're having such a tough time, Launna. Sending hugs to you!

  33. I've been there too. I think the important thing is not to give up on dream. Even if you realize you'll never get it to the place you imagined it would be, it's important not to give it up. Because once you do, you lose purpose, and that's when things go seriously wrong.

  34. Launna,

    You are so correct... many of us hide our pain; and others have no idea what's going on. It's great that you're writing with raw honesty about how you feel. Writing brings release to many... I know it works for me. We all go through tough times, as you know, you are wise, but I am saddened to hear you feel you aren't excelling at anything... don't say that. I know. We've all been there. When it just feels like EVERYthing sucks. But find something or several somethings that you love, some people that love you, and a goal or two that you would like to reach. Don't have a goal? Set a new one? Redefine... and keep strong!

    You got this!

    I hope your leg feels better sooner than what your doc says... and if not, that's okay. It's one moment in life... and you've got better days ahead!

    All the Cute
    Today's Post: Casual Classic...

  35. I totally get what you mean.
    Sometimes it all feels so stupid. Working towards a pension, which you might not reall enjoy later, because of age and/or health. :(

    Just the other day I talked about this to my mother. It feels pointless sometimes. My dad died only 6 years into his... the man never really had fun. Only work, work & again work.

    I am sorry to hear that with your knee, you were just feeling better the past weeks & now this. Get better soon & use the time healing to talk to us. ;)

  36. Well, I think we are all pretty use to have a facade in everyday life, and I think this isn't totally wrong, because it's a sort of "armour" to protect our fellings.
    I mean: we should be totally sincere only with the people we trust, but absolutely not with extraneous or people we don't like, they could use our weakness against us with no regrets!
    This doesn't mean we should me "fake", just to hide some sides of ourselves and show off the ones we think could be more "appropriate".
    I believe that few beloved and totally tusted people are more than enough for live healthy and happy! :D
    I'm sorry for your knee, hope you get better soon! and I bet that with your health you'll regain even your mood! :)

  37. So sorry to read that you have been struggling too much ... and a further injury to the knee certainly cannot and does not help how you feel.

    There is of course the day to day trials and tribulations we all have to go through, and no matter what you see when you look at some-one else you don't really know what they are going through.

    They may have just lost one of their parents, or worse still a child.

    Perhaps they have just lost their job and are worried about meeting the ever ending list of bills ... perhaps they have recently be made bankrupt.

    Nothing in life is what it appears to be ...
    All through our life we are preparing for what may lie ahead, the grass may look greener on the other side and perhaps at times it may be - do we really know?

    I am (perhaps to some) very annoying because I always try and look at the positives. When everything around you seems to be collapsing there is just one little thing that will have happened that is positive. It may have been you heard a bird singing or saw a nice flower, a positive doesn't have to be of magnitude. Of course some use their faith, it really is up to the individual. However you use the positive you must grab hold of it and build upon it.

    My heart this week goes out to people I do not know, but whose lives have been torn apart and turned around by what happened in Brussels.

    Love, and positive thoughts to all.

    Take Care Launna

    All the best Jan

  38. Admitting ones struggles is far from a weakness. In fact it is a strength. Life happens and we are all dealing with one thing or the other. Ive just been told that I may be developing carpal tunnel. That depressed me and I may have to cut back on typing. So if you see one liners from me in the future, know I have a lot more to say but have to adhere to doctors orders. I love my sleep. You say you're not excelling in any aspect of your life but tell you what. You are excelling in the area of having a darn good heart Launna. You are excelling with your writing that serves as a pick me up for a lot more people than you know. You excel with kind words that you have for others. There is so much good in you my friend and maybe focusing on those will stop the free falling. Don't let that feeling of free falling take over. I know it's easier said than done but we'll keep supporting and uplifting each other. It is well. It is well.

  39. Dear Launna,
    I wish you a sweet, lovely Easter :)
    A huge kiss from Italy!


  40. absolutely true. This is the way I want to be. That's the real freedom, I believe it!
    new post:

  41. Hey Launna! Have a blessed Good Friday!

    Just to continue the conversation, I am definitely not a minimalist but I am working on being more conscious and asking if I REALLY need something before I buy it. It's actually hard to do! Especially living with a family where our daily habits are not just for us. :) Have a beautiful Easter weekend!

    Ethical Fashion + Faith

  42. Don't be so hard on yourself---you're going through a rough patch. Just concentrate on doing the things you love (and taking care of yourself) and everything else will fall into place when the time is right.

  43. We should stop pretending. It is very difficul that everything is fine all the time. Happy Easter dear! xoxo

  44. Hello,

    Very useful and informative post. We should ask for help if we needed it. Keeping quiet will only add to the problems.

    All people have problems. Some will be in a position to help solve our problems and others will merely listen to us and console us. Even then it is a good thing to discuss our problems with our close friends because it will take a load off our chest.

    Best wisehs

  45. Hi launna i am so sorry to hear you got injured on your knee. Eventhought it pain and need time to back your self, i hope you can patient and better soon.

    My dear thank you so much for sharing your feeling with us by this entri. Yup being other people i don't know what do you felt and thought. I always said for positively and do noting for you. But belive me i said that because care with you.

    It's no fals to admit our weaknes with you said with admit our weaknes and open the other can know and give us their support also gain strength from other. I hold you dear.

  46. A very thought provoking post.
    Have a blessed Easter :)

  47. Oh Luanna, I am sorry to be so late. Life has just been busy. I love your writing and I love your attitude. People have no right to judge anyone and you don't ever know what is going on in the inside. Sadly many of the people who need help the most can't admit it, they can't ask for it - they aren't strong enough to do that. Admitting their problems is often the hardest thing to do. Easier to keep that mask firmly in place. Sending you a huge hug. Wish there was something more that I could do. I do hate to see you hurting.

  48. Happy easter dear.
    I love how true and very realisticthis post is.Sometimes (in this case so often for me)we rarely say the truth or what really happening as we always try tosugar coat things.This post has made me to change my persepective on some things and see that its sometimes nice to stop pretending.Wish you a quick recovery on your knee dear

  49. ♥ Love this... made myself tea and read some of your posts again... xo

    Happy New Week!
    xoxo Suzy ( ˘ ³˘)♥

  50. Launna I'm so sorry to hear that life has been tough lately and you feel you're struggling. At least you're admitting it, as honesty is a must when it comes to dealing with our feelings. What you said is very true. It's a mistake to make judgements based on appearances alone, as we can never know what life is truly like for others. I hope you find ways to stay positive, even if it's tiresome at first, and above all, keep writing and expressing your feelings.

    Saba xx

  51. Hi Launna
    This post of yours really touched me. I know we're all pretending in some point of our lives just to cover up what is really inside.

    Thank you for sharing this. Hope you're in a good condition now.



I love and appreciate all genuine comments, to save a little time, I won't be commenting on the comments on my blog (unless you don't have a blog), I will just visit your blog and comment there, if you have left a meaningful comment for me... I would much rather spend the time reading and commenting on a few extra blogs ❤