Changing How We Believe

 I was reading over some of my tweets last night and there are ones there that are from July about how happy I was with the road I was on as I felt it was leading to something special.  I had no idea what or who that special something was but it ended up being someone I never dreamed possible came back into my life.

I realized that I truly had just enjoyed the present time then, I was very happy, I didn't know how much happier I could feel and be.  I gave up that the past could be any different and I am reaching out to the little girl inside me who has felt so alone for so long.  I hope for the future but I don't look for it to make me happy~!~

I look to the present and I accept what is right there in front of me, when I found David there a while back, I almost couldn't believe it was real.  He's made me believe I am deserving of all that he offers me.  We are all worthy of love and worthy of having our dreams. I will never give up on what I know to be true.

I love the words from the song 'Feels Like Home' especially the following verse:

Well, if you knew how much this moment means to me

And how long I've waited for your touch

And if you knew how happy you are making me

I never thought that I'd love anyone so much

I truly believe that we just have to put ourselves out there each day and follow the path we know we were meant to be on, if we do this, we cannot help but be happy.  Do I think we can be happy all the time?  I do believe that how we react to the difficult things in life decides how happy we will be.  It's because we we honestly believe ourselves and what we tell ourselves.  When we tell ourselves we are not worthy of love, it's true, we make that happen but when we open ourselves to the possibility of love, it manifests itself in ways you never could have hoped for.

For this moment I will be happy, this moment is all I have:).  Wishing anything different would mean I was losing out on some really wonderful blessings in my right here and right now.

Believe What You See

I heard something powerful that resonated with me tonight.  I'm sure I've heard it before but it never reached me until this time in my life.

It was stated that we need to believe what people show us about themselves because if we don't we will be allowing them to take small pieces of ourselves. After knowing them we will be less then what we were.

That is exactly what I have allowed many men to do to me over and over throughout the years. I refused to believe when people showed their true selves to me.

I finally got that ah ha moment tonight because I have the sweetest kindest man in my life now. He has shown me himself and he has been nothing but sweet and uplifting to me.

I realized I had such little self esteem in the past that I couldn't see that I had allowed men to push me even lower.  I have been thinking and trying to remember when I started believing it was okay for men to treat me badly.

I don't remember the precise moment but I'm sure it was something small, something I let slide that I shouldn't have.   I don't want my youngest daughter to ever think that kind of behavior is okay.

I'm grateful that I finally have a gentleman in my life, someone who makes me feel like a prize. I never knew that could exist but it does. I just had to believe.