Ever since I found out that I was going to go on this 30 day challenge, I have felt deprived. Actually I have allowed myself to believe I will be deprived, I unconsciously wanted to feel that so that I could give myself an excuse to eat the way I want to until I start the cleanse-challenge. That is my old way of thinking that had won over me for the past 5 days. I have been stopping eating by 7:00 pm every night except for maybe a piece of fruit, since Saturday I have been eating a little later, like last night... I had to go to my doctors so I didn't get home until 8:30 pm and then I ate.
I felt stuffed which made me feel incredibly awful... last night I decided to commit to stopping eating by 7:00 pm no matter the excuse and I am not going to eat my heavy meal late at night. That will be my day time meal so that I won't go to bed on a full stomach... which will allow me to sleep through the night better.
The main thing is my thought pattern, I was feeling deprived, after last night... I am feeling enriched. I am looking forward to the cleanse challenge, I am going to have a great attitude about it. The only thing I am still not happy about is not being able to have contact with David for 30 days. We have had daily contact for the last 5 months. Even if he couldn't talk to me each day, I could text or email him when he had time to read it. He's been so supportive and understanding.
Even now he's being wonderful and letting me talk to him as much as I need before Saturday. We are going to have a long talk on either the phone or on Skype... also, I know he won't let me break down and cheat and he will be there at the end of the 30 days to cheer me and he will be waiting to see what I have learned about myself.
This is going to enrich my life ultimately, I am going to clean up my eating, my addictions to media, my need to rely on other people to get me through each day. I will rely on myself and strengthen myself through this challenge, this is exactly what I am going to need to get to the next point in my life.
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