Turning The Light On My Pain

I read  a blog called scribbles from the ether that touched me today, Katie the author of the blog had left a sweet comment on mine, I always reciprocate and read the persons blog... and leave a comment thanking them.  I was drawn in immediately with her candid and open honesty... I connect well with people like that as I am the same way.  The last paragraph resonated with me, it gave me an answer to some issues I have been dealing with.  I have what she called an abusive relationship, hers is anorexia... how she used to feel it was her twin but how she now saw that no matter how much she might love her twin, she could see it as being much more abusive than helpful now that she is going through recovery.

She is right that the light or the good feelings that you get from the abusive relationship you are in (drinking, drugs, food... etc) end up being slivers compared to the pain and damage these relationships actually end up bringing.  I never really thought about it this way but her post clicked with me, I understood more that anything I do to myself to make me feel better and actually ends up hurting me more in the long run... needs to be eliminated from my life.  The small amount of good feelings that come from attempts at making myself happy through these things are just not worth it anymore. 
I know I am not writing it nearly as eloquently as she did, Katie was just being truthful about her addiction with anorexia and how she keeps herself from going back down that road daily... she remembers that although it felt good to have control, the side effects were not worth it ultimately. It doesn't start out that way, it starts out feeling good most of the time but than it slowly feels less and less good... That is the way it is with many addictions we hold onto in life, mine is overeating... or more precisely eating the wrong things...

I want to be on the healing side of that addiction, the first step is seeing that although the food I eat may be tasty and might bring me comfort at the time.... it ends up being a burden carrying the extra weight around, that doesn't feel good at all.  I have to have a relationship with food but I need to get into the healthy side of that one... I needed to read what she wrote because it turned a light on inside me that I am looking forward to keeping turned on more often today and in the future....
I cherish my past, I accept my present and I dream for my future


  1. Excellent text, these days even television aired a story about the excesses. Since, to physical activity in excess can harm people. Therefore, do everything in the best way possible, within limits.

  2. Thank you Luis, exactly... everything within limits:)

  3. I like how you describe having a healthy relationship with food. I never really thought of it like that before.

  4. Launna, mind opening :) you are right....i found myself, too...in there. Great writing :)

  5. buon weekend (: Reb, xoxo.

    *Fammi sapere cosa ne pensi del post che ho appena pubblicato:

  6. Thank you Daisy... I want the healthy relationship with food ;-)

  7. Thank you Maarit... I found little pieces of myself too ;-)

  8. Thank you Rebecca... have a wonderful weekend :-D

  9. i lately eat alot of sweet -,-.. think i should stop and eat less. good luck!

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  10. Thank you Inge... indulging is a huge weakness of mine :-(

  11. You are a great blogger Launna. I admire your candor and courage to talk about your weaknesses and mistakes...It takes guts :). So you are just as good as your blogging friend.

  12. Awe Petronela.. you made me blush... that is very sweet of you to say...

    I have lots of stories about myself that I haven't shared... eventually I will share them all in time :)

  13. Hey Launna,

    I can relate to this so much
    I've had problems with drink and drugs in the past and now am battling anorexia and bulimia
    I've always been a person of extremes
    All or nothing
    Black or white

    I'm fighting hard to get some control over my life
    It's an every day battle
    There is a constant tug of war going on in my head

    But I have hope
    I fall almost everyday in some sense but I have to keep getting up and keep going
    I do believe everything happens for a reason and the reason will become clear in time

    You are so right when you say that the 'high' from these things is a temporary one
    It never lasts and we spend all our time trying to get that feeling again
    But it never happens

    Thanks for this post
    It really helped me today x

  14. Thank you so much for your comment Ruby... I am grateful this post helped you.... your comment helped me too... :)

  15. 'I cherish my past, I accept my present and I dream for my future'.
    I decided to return, Launna, without writing is getting worse for my depressive situation.
    My addiction is medicine for sleep, maybe one day I can beat him?!
    Kisses and thanks for caring.

  16. I am so happy to see you back writing my Jaqueline... your poetry is so beautifully written from the heart:)

  17. your fight to be the best you can be totally inspires me. Stay strong and brave and thank you Launna for always sharing your heart. You're real and I love that. :)

  18. Thank you Nikki.... I know of no other way to be....


I love and appreciate all genuine comments, to save a little time, I won't be commenting on the comments on my blog (unless you don't have a blog), I will just visit your blog and comment there, if you have left a meaningful comment for me... I would much rather spend the time reading and commenting on a few extra blogs ❤