We All Need A Little Help Sometimes


I wanted to take a moment to catch you up on the contest at work, I lost by a half a percentage point, I really won though because I lost another 18 pounds in ten weeks and I am pleased with where my weight is at, of course I want to lose another 10-15 pounds but I am going to take my time and not push myself so hard... no more contests for me as there really is no need... they served their purpose.

I don't have writers block because I can write everywhere else, as a matter of fact I wrote three times in my other blog this week as well I have written in my gratitude journal for 50+ days.  I think today was one of the hardest days, I sat and looked at the screen for a lot longer than normal.  It wasn't because I am not grateful... it's that I want the entries to have meaning.. not just writing to write something.  Today I took a little longer but I finally came up with something meaningful... thankfully I am already for tomorrows post.

Now back to the issue at hand, writing here has not been an easy thing lately, it's because the other two places I am writing, no one can read them and here it is opened to everyone.  Which stops me from being totally open sometimes, I remember when I started writing my blog the summer of 2009, it was a little over a year after my ex husband Andrey had raped me.  He had emotional issues where he was very unstable and finally he was put in jail for a time. Once he was put a way for year, I needed this place to write things down, to give myself a voice.

I then entered down a path for a couple of years that I don't even recognize myself from then but through it all I wrote, it was what I needed to do to finally get passed what that night had done to me or taken away from me.  Yet I don't know that I actually got passed it but that I came to realize that I did not do anything to deserve what Andrey had done to me, no woman does.   I have since forgiven him, I had to if I ever wanted to move on... otherwise I would have been in that loop still.. the one that I was in for two years where I was not myself, I was in survival mode.
Then he (My One And Only) came back into my life that summer and we had the whirlwind romance... the one that takes your breath away where you feel so incredibly happy.  However; in the end he didn't feel the same way and I was left with writing... which I did a lot of, I wrote everything about how I felt, what I was going through and about him.  Of course I wrote about him, he was my best friend... he helped me through one of the hardest times in my life.

Now I am facing an even more difficult time and I have been dealing with this alone.  Although I can be up and down on any given day... I usually find the good in even a challenging day. These days seem to have more trials and more close together.. I always look for the good, because what you look for you usually find.. however; lately finding the good is not always easy.  It is why I started my gratitude journal, it makes me sit and reflect if only for a few minutes about the good in my day. 

I know deep in my heart that there is more to life than just getting by, just surviving.. it's what I long for... I long for a little joy to make the challenges all worth it.  I know people are going to say stay strong, look how much you have come through, look how much you have changed your life.  It's not that I don't think any of this is not true, I am strong, I have come through a great deal and I have changed my life for the better.  I also know that challenges never really stop, they are always there in some form and I don't expect to be exempt from them.

However; could I have a small break once and a while?  Would this be asking to much?  I don't think so... I also want to say something to the well meaning people I know in my life, the ones who really know me... please don't tell me about someone worse off than me and how lucky I am... do you not think that I know this?  The feeling I have isn't something I want to feel, it is just there, it has been compounded with endless broken sleep for over six months, it is the loss of my best friend and it is coming to terms with being where I am and where my future is headed.
Saying all this, I have come to understand that I am not going to get through this latest challenge by myself, I am going to need to talk this over with someone,  since I have never really dealt with anything like this loss and doing it without sleep.  I am sure everything would look different if I could just get some sleep, it seems to magnify the emotions and issues.

I will be seeking out and asking for any and all help ... I can honestly say there are days were I feel very lost and very alone and it takes everything I can do to just get up and start the day.  I do it though because I have to but that is not a way to live forever, it's good that I can push through and still work ... but where is the joy in that?  I want more than that, I need more than that.

I know many of you have been aware and have messaged me privately ... I really appreciate every sweet comment written to me... as well since I have my comments on  moderation, there are many more that are really personal that I don't  publish.  I think many people feel the way I do and they don't reach out, they don't ask for help... I didn't want to.. I wanted to be strong enough to deal with this myself but we all need a little help sometimes.

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65 comments :

  1. Well sweetie you know it's been hard for me to share my heart to others. I appreciate your kind words and comments. I can only suggest to give it to God and He can heal your heart.

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  2. You are not a writer but a super writer. The boldness in your words and the sincerity in its meaning is one thing I admire the most in your blog. You write quite expressive and factual pains. Love it. But, I solemnly hope that the God will take care of good humans like you. God Bless You.

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  3. Woahh!! 18 pounds in 10 weeks is a great achievement Launna! I think you won anyway :)

    New Post - xoxo Chaicy - Style..A Pastiche!

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  4. You have an amazing writing talent that few people have. You have an amazing ability to really get your message and feelings across. When I read your writing I can really feel what you are saying through your writing which is truly a talent. And I truly appreciate that you share what you feel with your readers. All the best to you Launna you are spectacular.
    Your Friend Simera.
    Beautetude

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  5. You always write so true. Yes ,i agree ,sometimes we need help. And it is a good feeling to have a helping hand or a caring Hug.

    much love from Vienna .. have a good Start in a wonderfull Weeek :)

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  6. thanks for your lovely comments on my blog (:you are a great writer (:

    http://thesmallnoble.blogspot.de/

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  7. Launna is so, we all need a little help in the darkest moments ... you're a very strong woman for what you have suffered and for everything that has happened to you in the past ... now you just have to wait confident, because better days will come and full of joy, I'm sure!
    Btw, I love your writing!!!!
    Kissssssss

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  8. Hello Launna:

    Your complete honesty about your feelings, without necessarily going into every detail here, is, we feel, a very positive step on the road to taking complete control of your life. And we are certain that writing things down does help. However, that said, it is important that you have someone sympathetic to whom you really can unburden yourself and who will be able to guide you through a very difficult and hard period. Take care.

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  9. Amiga que maximo a cada dia você esta ficando magra
    isso que é atitude amei as palavra que fala neste post
    no momento que você coloca na cabeça que vai conseguir
    com certeza tudo que você quiser vai sucesso.
    tenha uma semana abençoada.
    Blog: http://arrasandonobatomvermelho.blogspot.com.br
    Canal de youtube: http://www.youtube.com/NekitaReis

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  10. This is a great post. I like that you are not afraid to admit needing to ask for help. I know too many people who stubbornly refuse to do so.

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  11. Wow. That first text was really inspiring! Really beautiful writing :-)
    You lost so many pounds? Wow, that is really good! You can be
    proud of yourself!

    xoxo
    www.its-dash.com

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  12. I had no idea you write another blog. Why didn't I know that? You definitely have to seek the help you need, and I'm not typically an advocate of medication, but I wonder if you've tried sleep aids? My mom stayed away from all kinds of medication, but after Dad passed away, she did use them for a little while, and I think it was totally appropriate. The body gets into patterns and sometimes we need a little more help to get them under control.

    I'm praying you'll find the right sympathetic ear to help get you through your struggles. It does make a world of difference.

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  13. I'm sending you a huge hug -- hugs always help, even if they are virtual hugs. I do hope you can find someone you can trust to confide everything in -- and who can help you to get past it. Asking for and taking help is never easy especially for a strong person like yourself. I do hope all of this can be distant memory soon. Hang in there! Valentina needs you!

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  14. Hey dear Launna! Sending you my best thought and hugs!!!

    Keep in touch on BLOGLOVIN

    Love,
    FASHIONHYPNOTISED

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  15. Dear Launna...18 lbs is fantastic. I know if you keep an open heart, you will find that special person to fill the void you are feeling. Thinking about you.

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  16. First off, you have done fantastic with your weight loss!

    Next, I think everyone needs help sometimes. Strong people are the ones who have the ability to ask for help. I wish I knew how to help you. I care and I really feel so bad for you. Not sleeping is so miserable. I wish I lived close to you and could just sit and talk with you. You are such a kind person and being your friend would be an honor. If you just want someone to talk to let me know.

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  17. No, you not alone Launna:). everybody does,! hang it tight, everything is going to be okay. We all are trouble with something while you cant sleep, lots out there could shut their head down either. You knew what I am talking about Launna. I wish your day and week is already beauty, have another blessed week my girl!!! ox:).

    http://www.attraction2fashion.com

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  18. A little love and guidance can help a person go a long way. Its all about helping and supporting each other. Its true we all need a little help from time to time whether we want to admit it or not. Have a great day Launna. Always enjoy reading your thoughts!! xx

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  19. The best words anyone can say are that everything will be okay. Whether it is eventually, or soon is all we sometimes just want to hear. Sometimes it is not the advice others have for you, but it's the simple words a Mom will only say and that is everything will be okay. Thank you for taking time to stop by my blog Launna, and sorry that I can't be more help.
    xx Easy Outfits, by Pip

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  20. yeaah i always agree with you, some times we need friend to help us. or just for listen and company us. we can say 'i am okay' when its hurt, we will life with all pain, but is so sad, isn't?

    'i can walk without shoes, but i will run with shoes'

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  21. It's important to have friends around us that can help us at these moments!!! Cheers!!

    XOXO!

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  22. Congratulations on the additional weight loss, Launna. I know you worked hard to get there. I think everyone is looking for joy of some kind. It's not always easy to find. And I agree we all need help sometimes. Hugs to you. :)

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  23. I love the way you create posts! Thank you to share them with us!
    Your words are so ... inspiring! Thank you that you are!
    You are my inspiration!

    P.S.
    I show 125 DIY Easter Ideas - maybe you will find there something for yourself? :-)



    Regards,
    Katherine Unique


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  24. Hi Launna ,have a great Day ♡
    kisses :)

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  25. Big hugs Launna! You are very very strong to have gone through and risen above everything that you have been through. Keep on being your beautiful self! You are such an inspiration!

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  26. It takes real courage and bravery to seek help let alone realize you need it. I don't have much in the way of advice aside from what works for me. That said it works for me and we are all different! Writing it down, expressing and releasing those emotions and demons may be the way to finding peace. Perhaps sharing more of what pains you here? You have a wide network of support from fellow readers so perhaps through comments and messages you'll also find ways of breaking out of your imprisonment. You are a wonderful person and I truly hope you'll find a way out of this.

    xxx

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  27. It is important to cherish your past, even if you made mistakes! Those mistakes made you who you are today!

    :)

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  28. Huge hugs Launna, you are not alone definitely, look how many people read your blog, we all have ups and downs just need to wait a bit before huge jump! Don't give up, you inspire many people!

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  29. Thank you for the kindly stopped by Launna:). I hope you have a wonderful week so far:). ox.

    http://www.attraction2fashion.com

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  30. Hello Launna! The help will do good on you. I'm also trying to find my way and myself. Have a good week!!

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  31. Sometimes contest are good sometimes they aren't.

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  32. I know survival mode, at last time I enter easily in it. Hugs!!

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  33. Amiga bom dia obrigada por todo os dia esta no meu cantinho
    tenha um dia abençoado;
    Blog: http://arrasandonobatomvermelho.blogspot.com.br
    Canal de youtube: http://www.youtube.com/NekitaReis

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  34. I realised that these past couple of weeks, I've been procrastinating. Being lazy and eating and you know the more I procrastinate the more guilty I feel about it later when I tend to rush up on things! Reading your post makes me feel .. peaceful! Its like reading a diary that advises and yet understands what you are going through! Thank you for making such beautiful posts Launna! I'll try to incorporate such positive thinking in my life!
    Love Nilu Yuleena,
    from
    BIG hair LOUD mouth BLOG
    BIG hair LOUD mouth FACEBOOK page
    BLOGLOVIN

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  35. Have a lovely Wednesday dear Launna!

    Keep in touch on BLOGLOVIN

    Love,
    FASHIONHYPNOTISED

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  36. Good for you for losing that much! That is such an accomplishment! It is okay to ask for help when you need it. Thats what our friends and family (or sometimes even a kind stranger) are there for!
    www.amemoryofus.blogspot.com

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  37. well said♥ sometimes we just need to accept help from others♥ lovely post!

    www.Lorietta.cz

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  38. Yes I agree sometimes its better to ask for help, as there are many who are willing to help and who have gone through the same phase!! You are excellent with your writing skills. Alwys its like I someone has given words to my feelings!! :) Lotsa love

    kisses
    Charu
    http://www.myglossyaffair.com/

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  39. You have such a sweet disposition, Launna. I am rooting for you to find your consistent happy place!!

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  40. well said sweety, true words! everyone need a little help sometimes and everyone makes mistakes!
    wish you a wonderful day!

    <3
    http://www.getcarriedaway.net/

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  41. This is quite shocking, I didn't know what Andrey had done, since I have only recently known of your blog.
    I am sorry about that... and YES I, too, hate it when people tell you, "Yeah, well Missy there has it even worse so stop complaining!" What the actual Fuck?
    Every person, male or female, has something that is bad to them... but you don't have to tell them it's otherwise. True or not.

    I wish for you as well, that you might get a break. It's just not fair when one BS comes down continuously on you after the last one has barely hit. (Sorry, if this sounds like gibberish.)

    One more thing... wow, you lost some good amount of weight. I wish I could do that.
    I have a hard time slimming a bit down. :S

    Follow the Royal Peach

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  42. Thanks for the kind word Launna, your writing and your stories about life are so inspiring. Have a nice day lovely! xo

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  43. This was really inspirational. I'm so sorry you had to go through such a terrible thing.

    http://bellapummarola.blogspot.it/

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    Replies
    1. "we all have things in our lives that we have had to deal with that were unfair and difficult... no one is free from trials, just different ones" - I really needed someone to tell me that right now. You just made my life a liiittle bit easier :) Thanks!

      Delete
  44. Sometimes is hard to take it all alone, we really do need a little help from time to time. Be strong and always try to find the good out of every bad situation, I know its hard but just try.
    effortlesslady.blogspot.ca

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  45. so amazing and true Launna
    have a nice day
    unconventionalsecrets.blogspot.it

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  46. Oh wauw, good job Launna! Proud of you weight lost! Have a nice day :) x

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  47. I think you are right..we all do need help at times. Launna, I will say this over and over again, you have amazing strength and your courage is out of this world!! xx
    http://kazinidaily.com/

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  48. hi Launna,i repass
    thanks for your lovely comment
    ----> tr3ndygirl fashion blog <----
    have a nice day

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  49. I love the quotes u selected for this post. Congrats on losing those pounds! As you long as you are moving forward, it's always a win.

    www.lesley-Kim.com

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  50. oh this post is so true and something I needed to read! lots of times the stress comes from trying to do it all by myself -- we all do need help, great writing!

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  51. Amiga boa tarde passando para ti deseja um dia maravilhoso.
    Blog: http://arrasandonobatomvermelho.blogspot.com.br
    Canal de youtube: http://www.youtube.com/NekitaReis

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  52. You are very strong!!! :) Amazing post!

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  53. I am sorry a bit late Launna:). I've been sick for a week already, from a pollens allergy! I hope your week is been great for you girl. :). Hope you get to do something fun and relax with your daughter. ox.

    http://www.attraction2fashion.com

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  54. Just what i needed :)

    http://www.toinlicious.blogspot.com/

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I love and appreciate all genuine comments, to save a little time, I won't be commenting on the comments on my blog (unless you don't have a blog), I will just visit your blog and comment there, if you have left a meaningful comment for me... I would much rather spend the time reading and commenting on a few extra blogs ❤