Standing Up To My Excuses

I just wanted to give everyone an update with where I am ... I am motivated, it feels like the time when I started in June 2013. I have walked every single day for over two weeks but one due to a snow storm... I have been planking and I made it to a minute which is awesome for me, the first day I could barely perform for 20 seconds, as well I have been eating fantastically... because the truth is, there is no amount of exercise that will help you lose weight if you don't eat properly.

I have been facing my problems without anything to cover them. Is it easy?  Absolutely not! Will it be worth it down the way, I believe it will. I am  already seeing things a bit clearer... those things are not easy to see though, they are downright difficult but running or hiding from them doesn't make them disappear. Dealing with them head on is the only way to conquer any of them... no matter how painful it is and will be in the future.
I think getting to this point has been one of the longest and hardest roads I have taken, I was on that path when I started in June of 2013 but when I lost 'him'... part of me lost the ability and or desire to stay focused on that road because a more difficult road arose. It was very sad for me to find out that although 'he' had told me on many occasions that I was very important to him and that nothing would ever come between our friendship... that turned out not to be true when push came to shove.

I had a hard time reconciling that all in my head, we had been there for each other for nearly three years, we had talked everyday... texted all the time through out the day and rarely if ever went to bed without saying goodnight. Right up to a couple of days before it all changed in late September of 2013, he had told me that I was very important and special to him, only a couple of days before that.

Having it change within a couple of days was like I had been in a tornado, where my life was turned upside down and inside out. I am surprised that I continued on my path of exercising and eating healthy for as long as I did... however; I found other ways to get through the emotions and none of them were healthy either. Last month, I took a very long hard look at my life and where I was and I didn't like it, I had started eating unhealthy again and I had come up with excuses not to walk or exercise.

I knew that it all changed in September of 2013 and that dreadful emotional road I had to take .. it is hard to see that I had allowed that to take me off track. I remember the night I consciously made a decision not to feel any more, I hadn't slept for more than a couple of hours per night for almost three months and I was almost in hysterics... I decided then and there I would do whatever I had to, so that I did not have to feel the emotional pain that was threatening to pull me apart.
So, I went down that path... strange thing is it didn't help me sleep, it didn't help me change how awful I felt about losing 'him' and it didn't help me feel any happier. I wanted to be numb, I didn't want to feel anything... the pain and sadness was more than anything I have ever had to deal with in my whole life. I now want to feel the pain, not just need to feel it but want to feel it... so that I can change it and stay on the path I was meant to be on...

The word excuse is not in my vocabulary anymore, oh... and every time I felt like saying 'this was not the way my life was supposed to be'  I didn't let myself say it or think it... I changed it to 'if this is not where I am supposed be then do something about it.' Do I have any delusions that I won't stumble or stray, no... I am human as we all are but I don't think I will stray as far....
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100 comments :

  1. Hi Launna,

    My wish for you is that you continue to stay motivated and positive. Bad habits, be it unhealthy eating, not getting proper exercise, seeing the negative, whatever the habits may be, are hard to break for all of us. I am rooting for you. Hugs.

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  2. You will get this figured out and find real happiness if you just keep doing what feels right to you.

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  3. Hello Launna,

    Do continue to eat healthily and exercise regularly for nobody else but for yourself. Caring for yourself, feel better yourself and then would you be able to care for the people around you.

    It was only recently that I started reading your popular posts from the past as truth to be said, the first time I stumbled onto your blog a few months back, I could only piece very small pieces of puzzles together to gather what was going on in your life. From your very sweet and positive comments to others, it is hard to fathom that you yourself were so depressed. I simply had to know more without blatantly asking you more. I read the one on your first born daughter and the one on "My One and Only" and now I could finally see a clearer picture why it was difficult to let go of him. Pardon me if I've interpreted wrongly but the "he" in your post all along refers to the same person in this older post?

    I do not know exactly what happened from there but no matter what, people who are meant to be in our life would stay and those who don't will leave. Ultimately, it is for ourselves to be our own authors and write our own stories.

    I think I'm rattling on so I would stop for now. Have a good week and hope you would be able to stick to your plans.

    Jo
    Jo's Jumbled Jardinière

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  4. Hope you keep positive people around you, and keep looking ahead reaching for what makes you happy. Support is key! Doing what I love has gotten me through so much in my life, helping others also makes me feel like my life has a purpose. Sending positive vibes your way to keep you motivated and focused. :))

    xx,
    Tania
    http://inspiremyfancy.blogspot.com

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  5. want to hug you <3
    when i read your words i feel the pain with you Launna

    kisses ... you are a fantastic Woman

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  6. Excellent post, Launna. I appreciate your "Never Give-up" attitude and continued self motivation. Keep going, wish you all the best.

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  7. Awe.. just continue to love yourself more. Everything happens for a reason. And everything has it's purpose. Always be positive. I always wish you happiness and i hope you'll get what your heart desires because you deserve it. :)
    Best regards
    Rica
    www.switbbydoll.com

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  8. wow...I like the first quote, hats off to Freud.

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  9. Dear Launna, I hope you go on like that. It's difficult to forget the past, but you will overpass it (and him). Have a great Sunday!

    Jasmine ♥

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  10. Hello Launna,

    It is good that you can write about all this so clearly now. You have obviously got a fresh perspective on things and that is so necessary for moving forward. Of course the oath will not be smooth but, then, challenges do bring out the best in us all. Whatever, you have set your goals and are doing exceedingly well about keeping to them. Do not look back!

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  11. Hi sweet Launna,
    Your words are so true. I understand you, but it's very difficult to forget the past in my opinion.
    You are amazing and you can!!!
    Have an adorable Sunday
    kisses
    Maggie D.
    Fashion Blog Maggie Dallospedale fashion diary

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  12. Stay motivated and focused on your goals Launna. Small changes can make a huge difference. Remember you are working hard for your future. Have a lovely day dear. xo

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  13. Hi Launna I wish u feel more motivated each passing day & i wud say look ahead instead of looking back... I too had terrible experiences in the past bt i wish to never think abt them at all coz if i do i will never move ahead ... Have a great week ahead!!!

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  14. I'm also working on increasing my motivation to do everything, best wishes to you!!

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  15. Hi Launna, everytime I read your posts I totally get drawn into your world, can understand & feel for you. I wish I could give a hug, make you a hot cup of tea & talk to you. Keeping up this blog with so much passion & dedication I know you can do the same, whether it is heating healthily, going out to walk or whatever you want to achieve. You just need to believe in yourself, as your blogging friends definately do. xx

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  16. Congratulations, Launna! I'm so happy, I could hug you--and isn't that crazy? We've never personally met before, but through your words and your posts I feel and understand. You're such a beautiful, positive person and I'm so happy I got to meet you here in the blogging community. And at the moment I am really, really happy that you have been so motivated! Honestly, no matter how easy people make it out to be, it's not simple to stand up to fears, to let go of the past, to stop making excuses. But if we continue to persevere, we will always achieve.

    Keep doing what you're doing, Launna. It's not easy. Some days I even ask myself about certain things "why am I doing this?" or "why am I not doing that?" The truth is, only YOU can figure out and pursue what you want. Only you can decide whether you want to change or be in the same spot you were before. So keep exercising and eating healthy. We are all here to cheer you on and stand with you! xo
    God bless!

    MJ // www.littlepandacrafts.blogspot.com

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  17. Good to hear that you are feeling so motivated! Keep up the good work dear Launna. You can do it. I believe in it :-)

    xoxo
    www.its-dash.com

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  18. So wonderful to hear that things are moving forward. Oh..if only I'd remember that rule about eating properly. You so have the will power! All the best!

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  19. Recomendo aquele produto! Ele disfarça muito bem as olheiras!

    Espero que você continue motivada, Launna! Foco nas coisas que te fazem feliz. O resto é só resto!

    Ótimo domingo!

    Beijo! ^^

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  20. Amazing post

    http://abdelkhalekleblog.blogspot.com/

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  21. ...I have been facing my problems without anything to cover them. Is it easy? Absolutely not!..
    I can understand you so well, Launna. Life appears to be complicated, or we see it complicated. I'm very near to you, believe me. I thank you a lot for being so kind in the comments you leave under my posts :)
    I'm tired, I try to be motivated, I'd like to sleep some more. I hope I will :)
    I big hug from Italy!

    xoxo
    www.bellezzefelici.blogspot.com

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  22. I hear you. and I feel with you. it took me a long time to truly believe that there is something to learn in everything that happens to me, even though I might often not know what it is. this helps. numbing the pain also numbs the joy. there has to be room for both. good luck on your journey xo

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  23. It makes me so happy that you are moving forward and are staying motivated.
    Keep on doing what your doing you will get so far.
    Beautetude

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  24. Hi darling Launna. I am really very sorry you've been dealing with such a pain like this still. It's hard to move on when you've had so many questions on your minded I wish we were lived close so then we can have a coffee date and talks :). Be strong Launna. please love yourself more and think how lovely, worthy woman you are:). How's your sleeping treat you today? I hope you can get enough sleep. Exercise is very help lot of things. Keep up with your plans. How's Valentina doing at school? Hope you are both doing well. May the angles protect you and Valentina. I've not been online since Friday. Me and the boys are been coughing so much. We took medicine every 4 hours but I had to take care the boys too. So forget about my rest at all. My body and headache are killing me too. So you know we are people on earth have got something no matter what. Love, hugs

    Tanya

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  25. Hi Dear
    Your posts are worth reading, because it inspires and motivates me a lot. I feel the pain, you are dealing with. It's not easy at all; but I am happy you have started 'living for yourself. Take good care and stick to your plans. You have come up a long way. Please don't look back! I am sure; God is with you- and He has got excellent plans for you in the coming days.
    Sending you love, hugs and kisses

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  26. You are so inspiring! You will find the strength and you are right; you don't have to apologize!

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  27. Go on with much strength and hope happiness will embrace you ever~

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  28. Sono ripassata per un grande saluto, è sempre bello leggerti.

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  29. Buon Lunedì e a presto.

    WWW.ANGELICHIC.COM

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  30. This is an awesome way of thinking, Launna, I agree! Instead of saying: 'oh man, it wasn't supposed to go like this!' we should say 'from now on I'm gonna make sure that my life goes in the direction that I want it to go in!'

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  31. Your posts are always sop inspiring Launna! I'm happy you have started living for your self: this the right choice!!!!
    I wish a great start of the new week!!!
    Keep on smiling!
    Kisses, Paola.

    Expressyourself

    My Facebook

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  32. Amazing post, Launna! Keep motivated and positive! God bless you! =)

    NEW POST on http://whattostyle.blogspot.com/

    Instagram | Twitter | Bloglovin

    xoxo,
    Jessica

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  33. Have an adorable week my sweet Launna.
    Thank you for your words <3
    Kisses
    Maggie D.
    Fashion Blog - Maggie Dallospedale Fashion diary

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  34. Hard work pays off my dear. I love your determination!!
    www.effortlesslady.com

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  35. Your clarity about it all is what is going to get you through all this -- that and the support of all of us! Stephanie is right -- this is going to be your year! Go Launna!

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  36. Well, Luanna, I think it's pretty normal to have some moment of weakness, just don't leth them overwhelm you! Take them as a test for your determination!
    keep positive! ;)
    xxx
    S
    http://s-fashion-avenue.blogspot.it

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  37. Loved reading this post Launna, stay motivated, I am so happy to know that you are moving forward, you deserve nothing but the best.

    xx Nesha, Island Hipster

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  38. Nice post Launna.... Its a motivating post for everyone out here,,,,,,One should never stop moving on
    keep in touch
    www.hairfashionbeautyblog.blogspot.in

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  39. follow your way and be strong!
    flò

    http://lafloppola.blogspot.it

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  40. Great post Launa. You have given a lot of us motivation. Moving forward is a very good way of dealing with our lives, especially if we are not hurting any one.

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  41. Dear Launna. Thanks so much for keeping us prayers. I now sick real often from the boys brings home from school. As three kids at home and from their classmates has been go arounds all over. It seems I am all the time sick, I think from a less sleep and rest as well myself! Even sick, I've been working all the time and take care of the boys and the rest still. It makes it worse with no time to rest unless bedtime. I used to have my rest time for blog, for now as everyone sick in our house, I took my blogging time to rest instead of online.! Thanks again lovely lovely Launna. Hugssss
    Tanya

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  42. When you think about how hard life can be and you start to ask yourself if it´s all worth it, than there will be this ray of light, this small sign, maybe a tiny light in the dark that tells you to stay focussed and not to give up! Imagine all this things that happened since 2013. I totally understand that you lost such an important part of you life, the one yout thought would always be aside and to help you. To find out that all of it was a lie is really one of the most aweful things that could happen. I know that you are so much stronger now, but there will be times when you close your eyes and all you see is darkness, in these moments remember my words and search for this light that will show you never to give up!!

    Sport is very important, but you are totally right that it´s the combination of sport and eating behavior!!! I see that you are on a perfect way. To see you walking that often a week always makes me smiling because I know that each walk is a step into the right direction :)

    Many hugs,
    Martin

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  43. Amiga foco em tudo que for fazer pensamento possitivo,
    não deixe de usar creme para as olheiras, tenha uma semana abençoada
    Vídeo Novo: https://www.youtube.com/user/NekitaReis/channels

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  44. I love that you always get right back on the path to wellness despite a few stumbles along the way. You are stronger and braver than you think, dear friend! <3

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  45. Launna, hello! Firstly,thank you so so much for your lovely comments! You've got absolutely no idea how much they cheer me up! And I am so happy that you finally blogged. You said that something went wrong last week? Dear, what happened? I know, it's very easy to get demotivated, but you must not MUST NOT let those negative thoughts come into your mind. AT ANY COST. It take only 10 seconds to get negative thoughts in and be affected, and would take years to get back positive thoughts and change back. Not worth it AT ALL!!! And then again, I know it's easy said that done. :/ Just wanted to let you know Launna that we are all here for you. And I am looking at so many positive thoughts people are leaving for you!! and THAT'S AMAZING!! <3 Keep being positive, it will pay off!! Trust me :)

    http://anshul90.com

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  46. Bom dia querida belo dia cheio do poder de DEUS.
    Vídeo Novo: https://www.youtube.com/user/NekitaReis/channels
    Blog: http://arrasandonobatomvermelho.blogspot.com.br

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  47. Once again my friend, you are inspiring and motivating!! Keep up the awesome work :)

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  48. It sounds like you are making great progress on your goals! Great job on keeping up with walking and your plank challenge. I bet you will see so much improvement with eliminating the word excuse from your vocab!
    www.amemoryofus.com

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  49. I am so glad to hear that you are doing well and working towards accomplishing your goals and creating a better life for yourself. Please know that your words and story are an inspiration to all of us! xx

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  50. I hope you wake up every day in 2015 with motivation and happiness! I'm sending positive vibes!

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  51. your positive attitude challanges me
    great post dear

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  52. Congratulations on the progress you are making! How wonderful that you are making such positive changes in your life. I think it is wonderful that you figured out what you want to achieve and are working towards your goal. Sometimes we have setbacks and 2013 sound like one of those times. Be proud of yourself for working to get back on track. You are an inspiration! :)
    ~Jess

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  53. I hopu you're alway happy sist :)

    have a nice day :)

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  54. I've just found your blog and I think it's really inspiring, it will be an honor for me if you can visit mine too, and if you want to follow, it will be a pleasure to follow you back! :) <3

    Fashion gets Fierce.

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  55. Great outlook, love... sounds like you are in a healthier place!

    Anyhoo, I found your blog through a fellow blogger, and just thought I would stop by and say hi! It would totally make my day if you did the same... or better yet, keep in touch!! <3 - www.domesticgeekgirl.com

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  56. You are such an inspiring woman, Launna! You are strong and determined and I'm sure you will succeed in everything you want to achieve!

    Bella Pummarola

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  57. Launna you are so inspiring! I'm glad you feel better at the this moment and you don't delay your exercises! They say if we procrastinate for one day, the laziness settles in and makes the second day of procrastinating a habit! Have a lovely week dear Launna and stay fit and happy!
    Xx,
    Nilu Yuleena
    BIG hair LOUD mouth

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  58. I'm so sorry that you have gone through such a painful time. I love your positive attitude! Even though we sometimes get off track, the key is to be able to re-evaluate and start over again. You will be successful!

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  59. Amazing post dear

    New post in
    Www.miharujulie.com

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  60. I hope you're having a blessed day! Thanks for your lovely comment! =)

    NEW POST on http://whattostyle.blogspot.com/

    Instagram | Twitter | Bloglovin

    xoxo,
    Jessica

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  61. After going through such a painful time standing up to your excuses proves such a strength. Congrats on your dedication to continuing walking and focusing energy in health. It isn't easy but so worth it!

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  62. Excuses is what we make up if we are too lazy to do what we're ought to do. Good job on standing up to it, Launna. Not everyone's as strong as you.

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  63. Well done, Launna! That's the best attitude.

    Jasmine x

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  64. One day at a time. What a monumental change. Can you believe how far you've come?

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  65. Launna, my favorite part of this post is this line: 'if this is not where I am supposed be then do something about it." You have captured it all right in that sentence. I needed to read this today for some issues that I am dealing with, and I want to thank you for your insight. Facing things head on is definitely the best way to go.

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  66. QUERIDA AMIGA PASSANDO PARA TE DESEJA UMA BELA NOITE
    Vídeo Novo: https://www.youtube.com/user/NekitaReis/channel
    Blog: http://arrasandonobatomvermelho.blogspot.com.br

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  67. You go, girl!! You've got the new year right!! I'm doing pretty good too, catching myself when I want to complain about where I live (I had no idea HOW much I did that...silently most of the time, but I still did it) until I made the conscious effort to stop. Instead of saying I hate the cold or snow when I'm out there shoveling, I thank God I've got a warm house to go into after I've been outside in that beautiful wonderland. Baby steps... right? But still moving forward. :) It's our year, Launna! :)

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  68. I hope you're doing well my darling Launna.

    I'm just dropping by. And it's my resting and bed Tim after took my midicine. Good night Launna.

    Hugs. Tanya

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  69. Thank you so much my dear Launna for always leaving words of kindness on my posts...you have got no idea how much they cheer me up!! <3 Thank you so much for your sweet words. And yes Launna, I agree with you, sometimes, change is necessary, even if it is the shallowest type of change such as a change of hairstyle. Why? It gives us this mentality that ok, now that my hairstyle is different, I am now a different person! And that's extremely important, because as you know what they say > > It's all in the mind. What you tell yourself is what you're gonna be! :D

    http://anshul90.com

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  70. I didn't know that you are having that bad experience, I think that you don't deserve it. Take care. xoxo

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  71. You're doing well dear, keep going. No pain no gain, just do it! Have a nice day Launna. xo

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  72. Dear Launna,

    You'll get over it for sure! I see that you are strong willed And I also see that you are very determined on working towards where you wanna be !! All the best and Never stop working hard !

    Www.styleapastiche.com

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  73. Keep on going Launna, we are all with you and so proud of what you already achieved this is such a beautiful and real motivation for every single readers :)

    See you Launna xx

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  74. Hope your day is as lovely as you my darling Launna.

    Hugs.

    Tanya.

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  75. Sono felice di venirti a trovare e di leggere i tuoi testi, sei molto brava!!!

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  76. Mille complimenti per il tuo bellissimo blog, nice post!!!

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  77. I wish you a wonderful weekend, Launna. Hoping you are well :)))
    We are sick, kids bring home viruses...
    A big hug!

    xoxo
    www.bellezzefelici.blogspot.com

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  78. Hi Launna, great that you feel motivated so far and moving ahead with life. I'm sorry for what happened before, but what's in the past is in the past, and like the quote you said, it should be cherished, and the present should definitely be accepted so we can move ahead for the future. :) Stay motivated and strong! :)

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  79. Hello my dear Launna!! I can totally understand what you mean by working in the cold!!! What is the temperature there? It must be really really cold! I saw in the news that it's been coldest ever? Even colder than Mars? Gosh!!! Let's swap countries :p It's always sunny here, where I live. Absolutely boring!!! And yes, since this is the year end, there must be flock load of work!! I hope you're not stressing yourself too much on that Launna? Take care dear one, and thank you so much for all your lovely words you always leave! They really make my day, dear! <3 Thank you!!

    http://anshul90.com

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  80. Iluminadores dão um up na maquiagem! Antes eu não usava, mas depois que passei pela primeira vez fiquei apaixonada. Aquele que eu mostrei é muito bom, apesar de ter uma embalagem ruim.

    Ótima sexta, Launna!

    Beijo! ^^

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  81. Hi Launna,
    I hope you have a wonderful weekend and hope this week has been good for you! xoxo
    xx Easy Outfits, by Pip

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  82. Oh Launna, I am so proud of you. Please look at you from our point of view for a moment, at all those amazing things you've achieved since 2013! How much you have grown and taken responsibility for your own happiness. That is truly amazing and you can be so so very proud of yourself! :) The work you're doing on changing yourself is the hardest work we ever get to do - and the most rewarding. Because when we get to the point where we truly love ourselves exactly the way we are then we've found true happiness in every possible way. It's a path of constant work but you are so close to arriving. Keep it up, we believe in you. And thank you so much for sharing your journey with us! Lots of love to you!

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  83. It's so good to hear that you're feeling great, Launna! I knew that your constant positive attitude despite all your past experiences was going to lead you in the right direction. There's nothing like peace of mind and fully recharged batteries ;)
    Hope you have a wonderful weekend! Stay positive <3

    http://www.stylebydeb.com

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  84. all hopes for us. i gained weigbt over the months since my dad came home. i can see in the photos that i gained much weight. i set up goals and i really want to achieve it. lets all be motivated for our goal. i believe we can do this. all problems have solution i believe in that. tho we are not yet seeing how could it possibly work little by little i know everything will fall on its right place. i love you launna thank you for always being there when i need someone to talk to. you're not alone in this. hand in hand we can make it!

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  85. Have I told you lately...Launna...you rock big time. No excuses. Hugs to you special buddy. And wishes for an amazing weekend.

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  86. Bom dia querida Lu, como esta você e família passando para ti deseja
    uma semana abençoada com muito sucesso e sabedoria,
    Vídeo Novo:https://www.youtube.com/user/NekitaReis/channel
    Blog:http://arrasandonobatomvermelho.blogspot.com.br

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  87. Love your blog, The quotes shared today are amazing and motivating and true! Hope and wish you continue to stay positive.

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I love and appreciate all genuine comments, to save a little time, I won't be commenting on the comments on my blog (unless you don't have a blog), I will just visit your blog and comment there, if you have left a meaningful comment for me... I would much rather spend the time reading and commenting on a few extra blogs ❤