I am weighing all my options as I cannot count on our transit system to get it together and actually work the way it should. I am beginning to think there is a reason why I am having to deal with all of this... I remember something Oprah either said or was quoting someone about how we are sent whispers, then taps, then bricks and finally the whole wall falls on us if we don't listen. I personally don't want the whole wall falling on me to make the changes I need to make.
I think we and when I say we... I am talking more about myself... when I have a huge change in front of me, the first thing I do is say no, I don't need anymore change right now... I'm good the way I am... but that is not growth. Typically I turn it around quickly and go with the change since it usually ends up being better for me even if it isn't always easy getting there. Actually it is never easy getting there but it always ends up that it is exactly where I am supposed to be...
This became openly apparent to me when I realized that the person that had done everything she could do to discredit me and hurt me was still trying to do this... it made me think about how her life 'seems' to be what she says she wants it to be... she proclaims how happy she is... yet if she was, why does she feel the need to keep trying to hurt me? That is a contradiction to what she is putting out there... that was a bit of an ah ha moment for me. It just looks like her life is wonderful without any crazy challenges like mine but she has ones that are inside.
So, with my ah ha moments, I know that is the tap... I already had the whispers and ignored them... I don't want the brick or the wall falling on me... that means making some huge changes... scary ones where I will basically jump and build my wings on the way down... those are never easy but I guess if they were, they wouldn't be worth it ... Right?
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