There are a lot of things going on and the first and most important thing I had to do was get myself back on track with being healthy. It has been a week now and I have done many of the things I planned to do... none of it was easy, every last thing I wanted to do took a lot of work on my part... me making a conscious choice.
The first thing I wanted to do was start eating properly again... by eating all natural foods, very little if any processed foods. The next thing I want to do is track my food progress with My Fitness Pal ... I know I am keeping within my calorie limit but I find it so much better to actually have it in writing. As it is a great way for me to be accountable to myself.
The second thing I wanted to do was exercise each day in some way... I have been walking for at least 30 minutes per day and tracking that with Map My Walk ... this one is a little easier because I just have to push a button and then walk, nothing to enter ... I have been creative in getting the exercise in by getting off the bus earlier or walking to a bus stop further away.
Valentina and I are going to work on a 30 day plank challenge starting tomorrow night... I have never done this before but I want to do more than just cardio so that I can strengthen my core. It is really going to help me that Valentina does this will me, I think she and I will encourage each other to work hard.
It was about how we tell ourselves, this was not the way my life was supposed to be... I say this to myself practically everyday when I am frustrated, upset or disappointed. It's not like I think anyone has it perfect here but I do feel like others have it more put together than I do. What the article tried to convey was that when we say this to ourselves over and over, we really hold ourselves back.
I have felt trapped by my choices and circumstances even though I have come through many overwhelming challenges which I have grown from immensely. I still feel like I don't have a way out. It's not as if I can just get up and change my life 180 degrees as I have responsibilities being a mama. Saying this though, I know that I cannot keep going on feeling this way, it isn't good for me, nor is it good for Valentina.
'this was not the way my life was supposed to be' ... instead, I am going to work on solutions to change my life to how my life should be.
I do believe I can make the changes, not as quickly as I want but in time I will be exactly where I want to be and where I am supposed to be, one of the first steps is becoming healthy.
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