Where I Am Supposed To Be

When I realized I had time to write tonight, I noticed that it was my first post of 2015, this year has started off better than the last few years... yet I am still not as happy as I would like to be... it isn't that I think I need to be happy all the time, that isn't realistic, however; saying that I do think I could be more content. I need to figure out a way to get to that place.

There are a lot of things going on and the first and most important thing I had to do was get myself back on track with being healthy. It has been a week now and I have done many of the things I planned to do... none of it was easy, every last thing I wanted to do took a lot of work on my part... me making a conscious choice. 

The first thing I wanted to do was start eating properly again... by eating all natural foods, very little if any processed foods. The next thing I want to do is track my food progress with My Fitness Pal ... I know I am keeping within my calorie limit but I find it so much better to actually have it in writing. As it is a great way for me to be accountable to myself.

The second thing I wanted to do was exercise each day in some way... I have been walking for at least 30 minutes per day and tracking that with Map My Walk ... this one is a little easier because I just have to push a button and then walk, nothing to enter ... I have been creative in getting the exercise in by getting off the bus earlier or walking to a bus stop further away.

Valentina and I are going to work on a 30 day plank challenge starting tomorrow night... I have never done this before but I want to do more than just cardio so that I can strengthen my core. It is really going to help me that Valentina does this will me, I think she and I will encourage each other to work hard.
I read an article the other day that I wish I could remember who the author was, it was basically a list of things we do that hold us back... the first one was huge for me, when I saw the phrase, I cried. I know I have heard it before but the way that it was said there really hit home to me. It caused me to think a lot about the many changes I have made in my life... yet I still had not learned this one.

It was about how we tell ourselves, this was not the way my life was supposed to be... I say this to myself practically everyday when I am frustrated, upset or disappointed. It's not like I think anyone has it perfect here but I do feel like others have it more put together than I do. What the article tried to convey was that when we say this to ourselves over and over, we really hold ourselves back.

I have felt trapped by my choices and circumstances even though I have come through many overwhelming challenges which I have grown from immensely. I still feel like I don't have a way out. It's not as if I can just get up and change my life 180 degrees as I have responsibilities being a mama. Saying this though, I know that I cannot keep going on feeling this way, it isn't good for me, nor is it good for Valentina. 
Although I don't know the answer yet, I do know that it will involve big changes... whatever they are, I need to be ready to take them on and go with them... otherwise I will always feel trapped... So, first things first, starting today...(my motto)... I am going to work extremely hard on not telling myself that statement 'this was not the way my life was supposed to be' ... instead, I am going to work on solutions to change my life to how my life should be.

I do believe I can make the changes, not as quickly as I want but in time I will be exactly where I want to be and where I am supposed to be, one of the first steps is becoming healthy.

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105 comments :

  1. Hope you make a conscious choice and be healthy. May this year bring you lots of success and happiness the way you want. Good luck and Happy New Year.

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  2. Last year in July for the entire month I was sick with a bacterial infection...C Difficile. Since then I decided to make a change in my diet and got rid of the margarine and stopped eating chips and stuff like that and I feel much better. The food I ate, as far as I know, did not cause the bacterial infection, but I was sick and lost 8 pounds and decided that I would change for the better in what I eat. I have never weighed more than 140 lbs in my life and I did want to lose weight (10 or 20 lbs), but nobody wants to lose weight in bad health. I wish you all the best and hope that you find a healthy lifestyle that works for you.

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  3. Oh wow I could totally relate to that phrase I always catch myself saying that to myself. If I knew then what I know now seems to always run through my head. I could really relate to your post and I love how open you are Launna.
    Beautetude

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  4. Good luck with what choices you've planed to do dear Launna. Plz don't be feel bad when you can't reach your goals, and also don't put yourself in so overwhelm spot. It isn't healthy thing to do, be more relax is a right way to walk through:). Take an easy:). I felt to my trapped as well:). I wanted to do so many thing and wanted it done as much as I could but as a normal human we are. It's hard when we have a life full. That doesn't really mean we felt though. I just want to make you feel, you're doing so fine Launna. You no need to feel disjpointted about yourself when you trapped. You are still a wonderful and sweet woman who also take real good care of her life. May 2015 be more luck and easier year for you and Valentina both.

    Oxox Tanya

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  5. Hello my dear Launna!! <3 Happy new year to you and Launna, I am so so happy to see how confident you are about 2015! It's such an inspiration. Sometimes, things do not go according to our plans, but that doesn't mean we should give up on that dream! As they say, if Plan A doesn't work, then it's ok! There are 25 more letters to go. And I am glad to see that never-say-no attitude in you!! <3 Hats off, Launna!! <3

    http://anshul90.com

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  6. Awwww....I'm so sorry you are feeling all of this. The good thing is that you are feeling this, and recognizing it, and planning to take steps to improve your life or outlook about it. I've made many major changes to my life....even after the age of 50. MAJOR. It can be done. Hugs to you as you work this all out. (and eating cleanly healthy will help clear the head and help you make good choices, too.)

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  7. Great resolutions Luanna, good luck!
    Hope your new year is going fantastic!
    Happy new week!
    Kisses, Paola.

    Expressyourself

    My Facebook

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  8. You may not be there yet, Launna, but I hope 2015 will eventually become a truly happy year for you!

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  9. Ithelps when you have someone to do the exercise it can motivate you. Hopefully youll feel better soon. I have so many grudges with me too but youre one of the people whom i dont know personally but really make me smile just by your warm and thoughtful comments. I am in the process of being healthy too. Lets work it out together :)

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    Replies
    1. ive added and messaged you on fb i hope you dont mind

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  10. Dear Launna, I'm happy 2015 has started quite well. I think life if full of moments, hopefully most of them happy. Have a wonderful week!

    Jasmine ♥

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  11. Great Post! Follow each other on GFC, Google+, Twitter, facebook, Instagram and Bloglovin? If yes, follow me and i follow back as soon as i see it. Let me know with a comment on my Blog

    Keep in Touch xx Rabea from germany
    http://www.rabeasbeautytipps.com/

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  12. Launna, have you ever considered getting a Fitbit? I use the Fitbit Zip which is the less expensive model and I love it! I wear it on my clothes ALL the time and it just tracks my steps. It is very motivating! AND you can have other Fitbit wearers join you (at your choice) so that you can challenge and encourage one another. I really do love it and I would be your Fitbit friend.....

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  13. I'm with you on eating healthy and doing exercises. Hope you achieve all your goals this year! Have a great week.
    www.effortlesslady.com

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  14. Hope everything will be fine as the time pass by... I wish you best of luck though nothing comes as planned sometimes...

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  15. Happy New Year Launna, wishing you an incredible and blessed year. May this year be everything you imagined it to be, then some

    xx Island Hipster.

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  16. happy new year, and I believe in eating properly and exercise.. I think that definitely contribute to happiness, as much as I hate exercising I do feel more relaxed and happy after a good work out, I hope that 2015 brings you and Valentina lots of joy and happiness!!!

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  17. Happy 2015 and good luck with your goals! I think eating properly is a great goal and something I have to get back on track for, especially after the holiday binge of sweets. My goal this year is to run a 5K, I've never been a runner, so I know it'll be hard but I'm ready for the challenge!

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  18. I've been bellyaching to myself for 7yrs about how this is not how my life was supposed to be. In Fl., I had a great, long-lasting career, retirement was set, tuition for me and the kids paid, life & health insurance paid, etc. I moved to Michigan, can't find a job near what I made close to home. I hate to drive on the icy, snowy roads. I've left my good friends and much of my family, now live rural (I do like country living though) so no new friends... anyway, you get the idea. I haven't been unhappy w/life, but unhappy w/my situation. This is not how it was supposed to be. Then I was outside yesterday and I too thought of a saying I've heard many times, but it hadn't affected me until now... bloom where you're planted. I want to bloom where I'm planted, instead of longing for how it used to be, or how I think it was supposed to go. I'm tired of wasting time hating this place, and I'm ready to embrace it, snow and all (though driving on those roads is not ever going to be a fave). ;) It sounds a little similar to the light you're seeing now. We'll be changing in different parts of the world, together. :) Good luck to you, and good luck to me! :)
    Hugs,
    -Rosey

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  19. Hi Launna.. Hope u had a lovely time during ur holidays... ur writing reflects ur true persona.. I think u shud nt think that much.. u are a wonderful person & I wish u accomplish ur goals in whatever u wish to do... Have a great week ahead xoxo

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  20. Hi sweet Launna,
    I'm so sorry you are feeling all of this.
    I wish you best of luck though nothing comes as planned sometimes...
    Wishing you an amazing week.
    Maggie D.
    Fashion Blog Maggie Dallospedale fashion diary

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  21. Nice resolutions, Luanna! Believe in yourself and you'll get your goals, I'm sure of it!
    Just never give up ! ;D
    xxx
    S
    http://s-fashion-avenue.blogspot.it

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  22. Beautiful post ! Follow each other on GFC and Bloglovin? If yes, follow me and i follow back as soon as i see it. Let me know with a comment on my Blog Lovely Sylvie ♥
    love-love-love-lov.blogspot.com

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  23. Happiness is a daily choice, for sure, but it's easier said than done. I do think exercise helps...it has mental benefits we don't even realize. It's my goal to get healthier this year and I think (hopefully) I'm on the right track.

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  24. It's always easier to succeed in doing something not being alone, good luck girls I'm with you <3
    I send you many positive energy and motivation dear Launna, hope you will get your goals :)

    See you xx

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  25. Love the last Words of your Letter ,you are amazing Launna!
    Good luck and best Wishes for 2015 <3

    kisses :)

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  26. great post dear.Wish you allthe best this year.
    May it be a year where you achieve all your dreams

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  27. This is soooo true. I used to beat myself up with what should have been according to me, but who am I kidding? I've let go and things are better. Acceptance is hard at first but it's the only way.

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  28. Amiga com certeza 2015 vai ser tudo de bom para voce, eu desejo
    saúde, sucessos e muitas felicidade.
    tenha uma semana abençoada Curta e siga o meu canal
    https://www.youtube.com/user/NekitaReis
    Blog: http://arrasandonobatomvermelho.blogspot.com.br

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  29. Ciao, carissima Launna, mille auguri per il nuovo anno 2015!!!

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  30. Mi piace venirti a trovare e leggerti perchè il tuo blog è bellissimo!!!

    WWW.ANGELICHIC.COM

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  31. I am learning that things will never ever be 100% the way I want them to be and that's perfectly okay. Glad you are taking time to take care of yourself too by eating healthier again. I am telling you, after I was sick for like 2 months, I realized I had to make major changes. I have been eating healthy ever since, and trying to gain back the weight I lost with having been on meds off and on for so long. I can't say I will ever eat perfectly, but I try to get my fruits and veggies in as best as I can everyday and that is the most important thing I can do. I am glad you posted and your comment made me smile earlier! Have a good night Launna!

    xx Easy Outfits, by Pip

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  32. This post is beautiful and so well written Launna! It's so hard sometimes to let go of the things we think we should be doing, or where we think we should be. I'm definitely guilty of this all the time. But it really is the only way to grow. Thanks for the reminder! Have a wonderful week!

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  33. This post is true & relatable
    clandestine-v.blogspot.com.au

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  34. I love this post Launna! And I am sure you can make the changes. Take all the time you want and need, take care of yourself and I am sure you will grow!

    WritingMonique

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  35. Hi Launna, it's always good to stay positive for the future and I admire your optimism and determination. You're right about achieving happiness through contentment. The secret to having it all is knowing you already do. :)
    Dian

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  36. Dear Launna,
    in Italy this is the last day of Christmas holidays for kids :)))
    I hope you're well, the sky is super blue over Milan (that happens not really often... ). I wish you a great week :)))

    xoxo
    www.bellezzefelici.blogspot.com

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  37. It's so good to have these goals set for yourself Launna - best of luck for it all. You seem so determined and driven. I know you'll have those endorphins flowing and healthy vibes making you smile - just always remember that happiness is a mood, not a destination xxx

    www.bohemianmuses.blogspot.com

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  38. Good luck with the 30 day plank challenge! What an awesome way to kick off the year! Hope you are doing well, Launna!
    www.amemoryofus.com

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  39. I started in 2014 to eat consciously, during 2015 I will work again for this, happy new year!
    would you like to follow each other our blog?
    let me know :)
    flò

    http://lafloppola.blogspot.it

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  40. I like your style ! you are so cute :) please check out my blog apoljakovi.blogspot.com
    would you like to follow each other please let me know :) xoxo

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  41. Great words
    http://retromaggie.blogspot.pt/

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  42. Happy New Year Launna! I am sure you will be able to reach your goals. Eating healthy is really important, but once you manage to cut off the processed stuff, you will realize that you don't even want it any more - it doesn't even compare to fresh food in taste, consistency and nutrients!

    Bella Pummarola

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  43. Great post! This is so touching. Happy Wednesday! :)

    xoxo;
    WHATKENNYHEARTS.COM
    Like On Facebook
    Follow On Bloglovin

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  44. happiness is overrated. being content on the other hand... I'm wondering. are you doing any kind of regular gratitude practice? I started at the beginning of last year, and it was such a huge attitude changer for me.

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  45. This is exactly what life is about!! Searching for solutions to change the problem! See it as a challenge. What is a challenge about? Its about taking two steps forward and sometimes one step back! Its so amazing that Valentina is such an amazing support on your way. Its good for you to use programs to support you on your way. Each time I see you having an exercise on Facebook Im so proud, becaus i know how hard it is, especially in winter, to have the courage to go out and to work out!!! I really think that 2015 will be your year :)

    Much love,
    Martin

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  46. Do whatever it takes to get and achieve what you want this year Launna. Happy New Year dear. <3

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  47. One step at a time :)) Happiness comes from deep within and being contented of what life has to offer :)) I've learned so many things along the way, I have my darkest moments too. You just have to focus on the positive things :) Cheers to more wonderful years ahead Launna :))
    xx
    www.switbbydoll.com

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    1. Awe :) Followed back on bloglovin' and gfc ! :))

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  48. Launna- It sounds like you have given the coming year a lot of thought and discovered what you need to do to be happier. Focusing on the positive and feeling empowered to make changes definitely makes us have a better outlook. I hope you are able to achieve your dreams and make them a reality.

    Awesome job getting your walking in!
    ~Jess

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  49. hi dear Lauanna, I follow your blog with google friend connect, I would follow with bloglovin but I can not find the link ... have a great day.

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  50. Thank you so so much for your lovely comments, Launna! I know I have said it a million times Launna how much your comments make my day! So yes, 25 more letters, and trust me, there will be many times you fail. The destination isn't what's important. It's the journey. And look at you!! What a strong woman you are now!! You're truly an inspiration, Launna!! <3 Love you!! :)

    http://anshul90.com

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  51. Hey Launna :)
    First of all. happy new year dear. may this year bring you closer to all that you deserve desire and are worthy of. Loads of love and everything amazing out there.
    Yes We don't even realize and hold ourself back. I would write something I have on my wall that might help. Instead of thinking of your limitations, Let your limitations be your inspiration.
    The thing that always keeps me going is.

    " If it doesn't turn out like you expected it to be, we deem it and ourselves a failure. What about the spectrum of colors in between"

    Love you. best wishes.
    Toobs.

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  52. I strongly believe that happiness is a choice that you have to make yourself! I hope 2015 will be kind to you! <3


    Fashionably,
    Patricia
    http://www.wingsforliberty.com/

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  53. Happy New Year dear!!! I hope this year would be a happy and amazing year in your live!

    XOXO!

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  54. Lu querida passando para ti deseja um dia maravilhoso.
    DEUS seja contigo. Curta e siga o meu canal
    https://www.youtube.com/user/NekitaReis
    Blog: http://arrasandonobatomvermelho.blogspot.com.br

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  55. Hi Launna,

    I want to wish you a happy new year! The best wishes for this year! Hope that you will get lot of love and healthiness!

    xoxo
    www.its-dash.com

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  56. The power of positive thinking... It's amazing what we can accomplish when we focus on the good and let the rest go. I'm hoping this year is epic for you, and that you are able to move forward with all the optimism necessary to really make some mind-blowing progress.

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  57. I'm glad to hear your year started off better than previous years, Launna. This is indeed a perfect opportunity for you to make some changes in order to live the life you were supposed to live. Remember that quote I once shared on my blog: "It's never too late to be who you might have been" <3

    http://www.stylebydeb.com

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  58. Very well said. Although it is the past that defines us, the future still needs to be lived.

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  59. Good for you, Launna! It's so nice that you and your daughter can exercise together. I would love to do something like that with my mother, unfortunately she is quite busy and I get my exercise through swimming and karate. :)
    I am so sorry for how you've been feeling. <3 It scares me too, sometimes, when I read something negative and realize that was how I had always been feeling.
    I do believe that it is our minds that hold us back...the "what if's" and "why's" start to control us. But this is a perfect opportunity to let go of it, to listen to your heart instead of your frantic mind. The future needs to be lived, and I believe that there is much in store for you <3
    This year, I want to stop procrastinating. I want to let go of the frustrated "why is it like this" thoughts and actually do something about it. Once we get that positive thinking, we can do anything.
    I am so happy you've chosen to be so optimistic. New years bring back memories, bad and good, but they remind us that there is more to live, more to do, more to believe. So don't lose faith! I'm rooting for you! :)

    MJ // www.littlepandacrafts.blogspot.com

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  60. I agree- I know I can’t expect to feel happy all the time but I think I should feel different to how I actually do.

    One of my goals for the new year is to eat better and start exercise. It hasn’t really happened yet but that is ok because I am planning to start in a couple of days and I have it planned out. My new year can start on 9 January, right?! Very pleased with the progress you have made, definitely celebrate any positive choice you’ve made. The plank challenge sounds so hard but I am sure the two of you will successfully tackle it together.

    It is so true about is not being the way life was supposed to be, I also tell myself that way too often. I wish it was easier to stop telling myself things that are not helpful. Keep us updated on how you go, I just love it when I can relate to a quote to that extent. All the best.

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  61. when a new year begins we feel ready to change or improve things in our life. I wish you get all the goals you have made and 2015 be a wonderful year for you
    kss a lot dear
    new post: http://tupersonalshopperviajero.blogspot.com.es/

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  62. i wish you all the best this 2015 Launna! :) Good luck with being healthy :)) I know that if you set your heart and body, you'll eventually reach your goals.

    xoxo, rae
    http://www.raellarina.net/

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  63. We both could be happier but at least we started the year a bit happier, that is something. I hope that things find the good way instead the bad one. Have a good day!

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  64. Hi, I hope you are doing well it such a sad day here in France...

    http://ladyparisienne.fr/

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  65. Bom dia amada DEUS seja contigo por onde andares belo dia
    para voce e familia.
    Novo vídeo:
    https://www.youtube.com/user/NekitaReis/channels
    Blog: http://arrasandonobatomvermelho.blogspot.com.br

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  66. happy new year sweety!
    wish you a wonderful day!
    <3

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  67. Aww- I love that graphic- yes, always learn and move forward! :) Following you right back.

    God bless,
    Christine
    www.beyoutifulhope.blogspot.com

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  68. Happy new year! I hope you reach this point where you are just content. Mrsinlondon.co.uk

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  69. You certainly deserve to be happy all the time. Well - - - I guess some times more than other times. Please don't feel like you have to be hard on yourself if you do not accomplish every thing. I know you are always ahead of yourself and give yourself a lot to do anyway. Pat yourself on the back for every thing you do. Take care.

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  70. Thanks for always stopping by! Beautiful first post of the year. I hope this year is magnificent for you... Goodluck with your goals! =) <3
    www.lesley-kim.com

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  71. Such a wonderful post for the beginning of the year. Yes,some days..weeks and months can really pull you down. I'm having to wear a brace on my write hand..24/7..and it will be a challenge to get my typing fingers up to speed. All the best in 2015!

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  72. Hi just found your blog, and I am absolutely happy I did. Following you now because you're inspiring.. ;) visit my blog sometimes.

    love,
    Cassie Thriftier

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  73. Hello my dear Launna!!! How are you doing? Have you been busy preparing for the payroll module? I hope you're not stressing yourself out too much as I have not seen a new post from your side. And Launna, I just want to thank you for all your comments and sweet words you always tell me! I just want to tell you how much I truly appreciate them! And I completely agree with you that when it is supposed to happen, it will happen. It's just that sometimes I get worried if my priorities are different from the rest of my friends. Idk! I am not so overly-ambitious, but I just can't see myself settling just yet, if you know what I mean? :)

    http://anshul90.com

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  74. I hope your life is going to be how you want it to be! You go Launna! :)

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  75. Passando para ti deseja que tenha um final de semana abençoado.
    Vídeo novo: https://www.youtube.com/user/NekitaReis/channels
    Blog: http://arrasandonobatomvermelho.blogspot.com.br

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  76. Sounds like you're starting the new year in a positive way, both physically and mentally. There's a lot of truth to what you're saying about how lamenting one's place in life can get in the way of finding true happiness. I'm probably the happiest, most contented person you'll ever meet. Doesn't mean I haven't had my share of hard knocks, or that I'm laughing and smiling ALL the time, but I DO feel like I'm exactly where I was meant to be. The path may have been of my own choosing, but I think my place in life smacks of the divine.

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  77. Launna. hope you're doing well. Me and the boys are having a bad cold once again, I have them home with me and Ive been real sick for two days now hope it will be covering soon. It's super cold weather in Atlanta:). I hope the sun is shining at over your place. Thank you for the darling comment lovely Launna. And that you take care yourself:)

    Oxox
    Tanya

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  78. Exercise and yoga usually helps me feel better and allow me to breathe through things and make me more appreciative of life.
    Don't know if that helps you.


    I also started using myfitnesspal since Monday and I love it. Being able to track my intake has helped me so much especially with my goals. :)

    It is so great you and Valentina are going to do a plank challenge together ! Very awesome.

    Continue looking after yourself and always do something a day to make you happy <3
    xx

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  79. I love your quotes, especially the Campbell one. Happy happy weekend Launna.

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  80. Hello Launna,

    Well, we have never been ones for sport or exercise in the conventional sense but feeling good on the inside is definitely the way forward in tackling the problems which lie on the outside. And, you have made such tremendous progress over the last year that surely 2015 will be successful for you on many fronts. It is so good that you have Valentina to share the challenges with you....a problem shared is a problem halved so they say.

    Your quotations are most inspirational....a collection of them would be great! Perhaps 365....one for each day of the year could be a great idea.

    Whatever, we thank you for the kind messages which you have left for us. They are really appreciated.

    Wishing you and Valentina peace, joy and prosperity in the year ahead and years to come.

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  81. Launna, what a great post. You are doing so amazing. I can such growth and change over the last couple years since we've connected. You are an inspiration. Hugs!!!

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  82. Hello dear Launna, step to a greeting waiting for your new post, I wish you a wonderful day, bye!
    flò

    http://lafloppola.blogspot.it

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  83. I wish you an amazing and relaxing weekend dear Launna :)
    Mine would be a bit sad with all the things that happened lately in my country but life goes on!

    See you lovely xx

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  84. Ciao sono felice di venirti a trovare: i tuoi scritti sono molto belli!

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  85. Buon fine settimana e buona domenica.

    WWW.ANGELICHIC.COM

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  86. YES! Happiness often follow health.. I know you can do it! Blessings! <3 - www.domesticgeekgirl.com

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  87. Launna my dear! I'm sorry that you are feeling that way! But I'm also glad that you have a plan on how to deal with it. I get what you meant .. I guess I have to start doing the same! I have been gloomy off late and I have observed that I fall sick more often when I'm not happy!

    Www.styleapastiche.com

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I love and appreciate all genuine comments, to save a little time, I won't be commenting on the comments on my blog (unless you don't have a blog), I will just visit your blog and comment there, if you have left a meaningful comment for me... I would much rather spend the time reading and commenting on a few extra blogs ❤