Feeling Pain To Get To The Other Side

I have had quite the month in July, for the past 28 days, I have been able to exercise every single day. That's probably not always a good thing as I do need to rest my body from time to time. I ended up walking an average of 14,000 steps, about 7 miles and over 85 minutes of active exercise daily. Yet with all of this, I have just maintained my weight since I stopped being accountable for my food... because the truth is that I cannot out exercise poor choices in food, be it the type of food or quantity.

Why have I been over eating? Self sabotage? Sadness? Anger? ... a little of everything, I am disappointed with the way some things have turned out in my life. When I sit back and ponder about how far I have come, I ask myself if I have gratitude for that?... the truth is I do... I am very thankful for all the trials I have overcome and all the changes I have made in my life to become who I am today. 
I was angry this week because I felt as though I didn't have the right to be disappointed or sad... I do though. When did it become bad to feel these things? I know I shouldn't live there all the time... but I think that is what is wrong, the minute I feel sad/disappointed, people start counting off my many blessings... or telling me all their trials that they went through and survived or implying I am selfish and not grateful for what I do have in my life.
 
You know what this does, at least for me...it makes me want to cover it up... just like I did in the past when I felt a deep heartache... instead of dealing with it, I did everything I could not to feel... I should have felt it and moved through it, instead of always trying to go around it. Every time I went around it, it would always came back for me to deal with later. Usually it was even harder as I had more pain to add to it. 
I am grateful that I am not judgmental of others and their choices, I have come to know that forgiveness is more about setting myself free and that loving myself is a good thing... it helps me to love others even more. I have learned to set boundaries for myself and I gave myself permission to say no if I feel like others are stepping over those lines. Mostly I know that I have the right to feel disappointed with where I am in certain parts of my life, it doesn't mean that I don't have gratitude for the wonderful parts, it means I am working through the pain.

Someone asked me if I thought I deserved to be happy? My answer is yes and although I am not in that place at the moment, I know it exists... I have felt it... it is incredible... it is worth working towards today and in the future... I know heartache will happen, unfortunately it's what seems to help me grow ... some things are more difficult than others to deal with but because I have felt true joy, I know pain won't last, however; feeling sad is okay... feeling pain is how we get to the other side.
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97 comments :

  1. I hear you. the whole happy happy happy can be so tiring. I think it's totally legitimate to every so often be down and moan and vent and do whatever feels right. everything in moderation. including happiness. including sadness. you should talk to my real life friends. there is plenty of wallowing going on between us. and I think this is necessary and healthy. so is a good rant. even a little bit of bitching about people you actually like. they too are annoying sometimes. so go and indulge. be happy. be sad. xoxo

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  2. There will be days when happiness seems so distant, with only stress and pain in plain view. That's life I guess, we can't always sustain happiness 100%, but we sure can try to appreciate it a lot more during our down time or pain -which you've right said won't last.
    Peace and love always!

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  3. Stunning post!
    Have a nice day!
    Angela Donava
    http://www.lookbooks.fr/

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  4. Postagem maravilhosa tenha uma semana abençoada.
    Canal:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eNNlFtDc1-o
    Blog:http://arrasandonobatomvermelho.blogspot.com.br

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  5. You should be produ of yourself for working out everyday!! It is so true though, you can't out exercise a bad diet!
    www.amemoryofus.com

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  6. Launna,

    I'm sorry to read that you are saddened by recent events, and particularly how life has turned out... but it's true, you deserve happiness...and life is cyclical, you'll reach a point of happiness again. Focus on things for yourself, glad you've got your exercise routine, maybe have fun cooking healthfully and divulging energy into that... have friends over and try out your recipes... and have a great time!!

    Best wishes always!!


    Amber
    All the Cute

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  7. There was a saying in Weight Watchers that I'm sure they borrowed..."If you can't go over it and you can't go over it, you're going to have to go through it!" Of course, you always want to skip the hard parts...but there's also an old saying about a butterfly emerging from its cocoon and a man who tried to rush the process along by cutting the cocoon. Doesn't work...the butterfly has to go through the struggle to become the beautiful creature it will be!

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  8. It's easy for anyone who feels down and sad to feel out of place these days. With us being constantly bombarded by 'happy pictures' all over the social medias, I think more and more of us feel, why is my life not looking or feeling as good as that picture or tweet?

    I think it's perfectly normal that you sometimes have an off day or week, I have that too and I hate, HATE when I'm trying to let off some steam and someone reminds me to count every single blessing that I have in my life. So I'm happy to have a plate of rice and yes, I'm not lying down in a casket but does that mean I have no right to complain every once in a while?

    Judging from you past few posts, I have the impression that you're going through a lonely period now, Launna. You might be surrounded by family and friends but no one is really listening or understanding you. I do apologize if I am wrong but just want you to know if you ever need a good rant to a stranger then you are more than welcome to shoot me an email. I personally find that sometimes it's so much easier to talk to a complete stranger because they don't judge nor are they bias.

    Hugs, hope this week will be better for you. xx

    Shireen | Reflection of Sanity

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  9. Fantastic post dear! Hope you have a lovely day.

    ** I'm inviting you to join Love, Beauty Bloggers on facebook. A place for beauty and fashion bloggers from all over the world to promote their latest posts!


    xoxo;
    BEAUTYEDITER.COM

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  10. Hi Launna.. it is human tendency to overeat when they are sad.. i feel hungry many a times bt i hv to watch my intake as I might become a pumpkin.. i really feel happy that u walked so much i m nt able to bcoz of the rains sadly.... saying no things and not allowing someone to make u feel sad is a good thing u are doing........ I wish u happier days ahead & a lovely week ♥

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  11. You more than definitely deserve to be happy. You work so hard to achieve it, and I know happiness is there waiting for you once more. Thinking of you Launna. Take care xoxox

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  12. Hi Launna,
    I'm so sorry to read this. You're so adorable person and you deserve a beautiful life.
    I hope to have an amazing week
    kisses
    Denim skirt summer hottest trend

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  13. I want to just smack those people who make you feel you don't deserve to feel your pain! Everyone deserves their feelings. You don't want to let them bring you down all the time but you do need to work through them. Very proud of all your steps but I wish they didn't come from pain.

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  14. Dear Launna, you do have the right to feel sad, disappointed, angry...it is part of the learning, growing and life process! If anyone tells you otherwise, don't believe it! Sending you warm hugs and much love.

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  15. It's so good you have been waling regularly. I wish I could do that my lupus has been flaring up lately so I haven't been feeling like myself lately. I totally know what you mean I have those days too and although I do have my son and husband sometimes I feel very alone.
    Wishing you a wonderful week friend.
    Beautetude

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  16. My dear Launna you deserve to be happy... I wish you all the best!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Kisses, Paola.

    Expressyourself

    My Facebook

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  17. That's quite an achievement to exercise every single day for four weeks straight! Are you certain the overeating is emotional? I mean, I have periods where I'll consistently overeat too but, they don't have anything to do with my mindset or how I'm feeling. It's just me eating too much or not eating very clean because I feel like cheating, that's it.

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  18. Dear Luanna, I think you're doing a great work on you (inside and outside), and you reache amny great golas since now!
    Well, it's pretty normal that, if you have a weak point on food, sometimes you indulge on it, you can't control everything everytime!
    But if you recognize the weakness, you'll definitely overcame it sooner orl later! So don't worry and don't feel bad for it!
    You definitely (like everybody) deserve to be happy, believe me, so don't pay attention to negative thought of negative people! :)
    xxx
    S
    http://s-fashion-avenue.blogspot.it

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  19. I've been dieting and exercising for the past month, yet at the end of July, with my birthday also came a lot of going off the path so I put on back everything I worked for one month, sadly. I wish you good luck on your journey, my dear!


    Fashionably,
    Patricia
    http://www.wingsforliberty.com/

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  20. I never thought July would be such a hard month to endure. Usually, its December for me, with the holiday and all..still, the heat, the daily task .. of getting through the day will lead me..well, lets just party all night long. Of course, I've never gone that long..but still..its there.

    Wow, about the exercise! Go you! I do hope August will give you some sweet surprises. Hang in there! & keep smiling!

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  21. Hi Launna, I didn't know you were back... Welcome back dear. You will get to where you want to be in life, keep striving and keep wanting more, it would surely come through. Peace

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  22. This is so well-written, Launna. I agree that we need to feel whatever we are feeling and not try to cover up or hide from those feelings. We can't be happy all the time because we all have struggles and challenges. The best we can do is recognize it when we are feeling sad, disappointed, angry, or hurt. Then we need to deal with those feelings and work towards trying to find happiness again. I hope you are having a good week.

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  23. Such an amazing post! Have a wonderful Wednesday dear. :)

    Ps; Help me win the Zalora Blogger Challenge. Details are on my latest post.

    xoxo;
    STYLEFORMANKIND.COM
    Facebook / Bloglovin

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  24. Amiga Lau a sua atitude foi quem fez isso na sua vida
    DEUS te ajude a cada dia para você surpreender você
    mesmo,
    Canal:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eNNlFtDc1-o
    Blog: http://arrasandonobatomvermelho.blogspot.com.br

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  25. I'm so glad to see you're ''back''. The last post I read from you, before I went on vacation, was the one about taking a break from blogging.
    I can totally relate to that covering feelings thing, sometimes when you're in bad mood people around you can only make it worser. But so can covering. To get my mood ''on a higher level'', my aunt signed me up to a work group of meditation and self hipnose. It's something that I'd probably never consider going to, but this way i'll give it a shot. Could be interesting.
    We all deserve to be happy, I guess it's one of the first steps towards better everything, cos all is better with possitive atitude. And therefor i can say I'm really glad for my family and my siblings who just got some magical powers and can always make me smile.
    I know it's hard to trully find hapiness but i hope you'll find something that makes you happy in every day, and as possitive person as you are i belive you can.
    Wish you a wonderful week!
    Love, Danny

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  26. Launna❤️. I'm praying for you to walk through your tough month and that the month of August will bring you a joy xx. You're not alone:) everyone is struggled with something:) life is fair in a nature way itself because no one is better than others:). Well written:).

    Wish you a better week than the past weeks:).

    Xxxx
    Tanya
    http://attraction2fashion.com

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  27. Awesome post. You write soo well :)
    www.elegant365.com

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  28. Thanks again for your sincere words Launna. There is always a debate about the weight and feel good. It's difficult to balance these two issues.
    kisses
    http://tupersonalshopperviajero.blogspot.com.es/

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  29. I miss reading your posts Launna =) and this one is really true. Sometimes we may never understand the struggles we are currently in but in the end we will realize it was all because God wants us to be strong. we have to be optimistic in everything. keep writing =)

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  30. I've been slacking on my exercises. Need to get back on track. Everyone deserves to be happy!
    www.effortlesslady.com

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  31. Great Going Dear! Do not stop- yourself from doing good for you, and your words- that's doing good for so many more........
    Take care
    Hugs n Kisses

    www.thepositivewindow.com

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  32. This is a great post Launna. I've also been neglecting my good eating habits - I don't know why it's so hard for me to get started again. Maybe because I've been hiding my feelings about my boys getting older and flying the nest. Whenever I express sadness about that, everyone tells me that it's a stage of life, and to be happy that they're doing so well. Which I am, but I'm sad too. Sometimes we just need to feel that so we can move on.

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  33. wonderful words sweety!
    have a great rest of the week! <3

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  34. I hope you will reach all the goals you are hoping to reach !! I really wish you a better month !
    xoxo

    www.sorananistor.com

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  35. It sounds to me that you have been doing an amazing job in this past month and I don't think you should feel disappointed because of some poor choices you might have made, but instead focus on all of your amazing accomplishments. 85 minutes of exercise daily? That's incredible! You rock!

    Bella Pummarola

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  36. Hi Launna! wow You must be so proud for keeping up with your walks daily! Even if you didn't loose any way, you were able to keep it. I've been pretty good about going to the gym but over eating is def one of my issues too :( this week though I've been sick so missed the gym... I feel like I gained 10 pounds already! lol jk
    XOXO

    Milu
    www.hellolupi.com

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  37. Dear Launna,
    85 minutes a day is a challenging work, what about 60 minutes per day and you try to focus just a little on food? That's what I try everyday... the effect is not always so positive, but you know, we try :)))
    I send you a wonderful hug from Italy!

    xoxo
    www.bellezzefelici.blogspot.com

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  38. Keep in mind that muscle weighs more than fat. Keep at it. Watch for the toning. Forget the rest, eh?

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  39. Hello my dear Launna. I am so so sorry to hear what you've been going through. It's like just when we think life's good, life goes out of it's way to prove us wrong. :/ I feel you, and believe me when I say, but, after every night (no matter how dark it is!), there will always come a bright day. You just have to keep your head held high and everything would be so worth it in the end, believe me, Launna. I believe in you, and when you're feeling alone, just remember, that there is a girl someone out there who looks up to you!! <3

    http://anshul90.com

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  40. Everyone deserves to be happy, and so it'll come to you very soon..but sadness can't be avoided either, it hurts much more when we run from it.

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  41. Aah! I am so sorry to hear this Launna! I hope that August will be a better month! :-) I wish you the best, because you really deserve it! <3

    xoxo
    www.its-dash.com

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  42. You know what they say, Launna: "You need rain to make a rainbow". When life gets rough we learn how strong we really are, and I believe you're a strong woman and you should be proud of that. As for your exercises, wow, good for you! Those numbers impress me! But as you said, physical exercise goes hand in hand to healthy eating habits, and by healthy I don't only mean low calories and etc, it also has to do with the energies we carry while eating. One of my sisters taught me that, and at the beginning I thought she was crazy! But soon I realized how right she was and I try to keep a positive vibe and stop worrying about things while I'm eating. Not an easy thing to do! But I try hard :) I hope that helps you, dear Launna.

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  43. I always use to say 'it may rain now, but it won't rain forever' and it has helped me through the toughest of times.

    I am so proud of you for sticking to walking and exercising !!!

    Keep your chin up love, August will be good for you <3

    xx

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  44. Passando para ti deseja uma noite maravilhosa
    sonhe com os anjos
    Canal: https://youtu.be/EgeQXJjUpSQ
    Blog:http://arrasandonobatomvermelho.blogspot.com.br

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  45. 14,000 steps daily!? that is AWESOME!! keep up the great fitness work and I know you'll be able to eat the way you want to soon. you're an inspiration :)

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  46. Still very impressed with all your exercising and it sounds to me like the walking has also been a great outlet for your pain and sadness. “Feeling your feeling” is one of the core principles of intuitive dieting and probably the hardest thing for any of us who are emotional eaters. We mostly just want to numb those feelings. Or use them as a reason to comfort ourselves with foods. But you are right, we tend to deny the bad feelings and put on a happy face when inside we’re dying. You are honoring the place of sadness you are in and I think that’s a great step ahead. Things don’t always work out in our lives and we need to feel and mourn them before we can truly move on. So while I am sad that you are going through this I also know that it’s a part of life and that you will come out on the other side on your terms. I think people just want you to be happy when they say these things, it’s all well meaning :) Hugs xo

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  47. While you work out every day good for you. I know what you mean about needing rest days still that show so much motivation.

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  48. I read through this post ( as I do with all of your posts ) and all I can think is, "what a great philosoper!".
    All you've written is as it ought to be- as much as I agree we are to live life with an attitude of gratitude, it is perfectly OKAY to feel the feelings that may assail us- as long as we don't dwell on them thereby spiralling into some type of despondency.
    Another post, again, that I can relate to 100%.

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  49. Very true. Sometimes, people are so quick to gloss over pain, but that's almost never a good thing.

    Take your time. Work through this. You'll get out stronger in the end.

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  50. Bom dia amiga DEUS seja contigo sucesso
    Canal: http://arrasandonobatomvermelho.blogspot.com.br/
    Blog: http://arrasandonobatomvermelho.blogspot.com.br/

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  51. I know exactly how it goes, in your mind you may be moving forward and leaving the past but then you get a moment when your mind drifts back and tries to analyze what could have been done differently but you gotta work through that and find peace. It takes time but we all go through it. And yes the workout days are amazing and so are the rest days. During my rest days I reflect and have been so thankful by how much Ive gone through and how far I am going and my actions during that. It is truly amazing if you think about how much you have grown. :)

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  52. Launna, I think everyone has experienced this already, you are not alone, that's for sure. The quote about diet is so me right now. I'm trying to exercise and I started yoga and running but I still eat a lot of crap because I'm most likely just another sugar addict. I admire all the vegan people, how do they do it? (: So much of a sacrifice... Hopefully I will get there one day.

    You stay positive and safe my friend. ♥♥♥
    ♥ Happy Thursday! ♥

    THE KAWAII PLANET

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  53. Well done on your walking ... will you do the same for August?

    I do like the first caption you use because, we do all have to live through whatever life puts along our path and unfortunately so often it is not an ideal path and indeed extremely bumpy along the way ... the further we go, we can and do learn to live / deal with our experiences. We can share with others to help them too.

    I hear people say 'but I just want everything to be normal' but what is normal? Is there really a normal. Find your balance, do your best to make the best of every day ... and yes eating clean whole real foods help here, because the healthier the body just possibly the easier the mind may feel.

    Is there ever an easy answer? No. I think not but we can only do our best.

    Blessings to you Launna

    All the best Jan

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  54. I think it is important to feel pain and sadness when they come our way. If we don't things pile up under the surface. You are right that we shouldn't live in those places, but feel them and move on.

    Although you haven't lost weight, you are getting in lots of exercise and creating a walking habit. It might be better to eat healthy and exercise, but not exercising and not eating healthy is a worse combination. Hopefully you will work through your feelings and be able to get back to your healthier eating soon. Good luck!
    ~Jess

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  55. You're right, you have the right to feel the way you need to feel to get through your tough times. Everyone is different, copes with things differently. When you tell others how you feel, they are responding in the way that feels good for them, what they think will help. They are dealing with what you're saying in the way they cope with their own problems and it may differ from your own. Talking to someone who will listen without judgement helps you sort out through all the things that seem to be eating away at you. I do believe in therapy. It is good and has helped me through tough times. It is necessary to seek help in whatever form necessary. Doing what feels good to you is a must. Good vibes today and always, and may brighter better days come your way soon.

    Much Love,
    Tania
    http://inspiremyfancy.blogspot.com/

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  56. Gosh I don't know what to say. You said it all, Launna. Everything that I want those who tell me I'm a strong woman to know. Perfect, perfect.

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  57. Aquele BB não tem quase nada de cobertura. Uma pena...

    Launna, a dor faz parte da vida. Infelizmente não é um aspecto que podemos pular, sabe?! E cada um tem seu jeito de passar por ela. Falo aqui o de sempre: O tempo passa e as coisas mudam. Isso é só uma fase!

    Ótima sexta!

    Beijo! ^^

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  58. If you didn't have confidence in your ability to do better, you would never be disappointed in your progress. So I see a certain amount of disappointment to be a good thing, and an incentive to do better.

    Life can knock us down and cause us pain. Yes, we usually manage to bounce back, but there's nothing wrong with staying down for a wee bit and having a good cry. (THEN you bounce back...)

    Happy weekend!

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  59. Lau querida te desejo um dia maravilhoso
    Canal: https://youtu.be/EgeQXJjUpSQ
    Blog:http://arrasandonobatomvermelho.blogspot.com.br/

    ReplyDelete
  60. Launna, thank you so much for your lovely comments as always, and I want to let you know that we are here for you, so please don't ever EVER feel alone!! <3 Love you so much, and I can't wait for everything to be ok all again! I know they will be, REALLY REALLY SOON!!! :)

    http://anshul90.com

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  61. I think the worst place anyone could be was in a place where they thought they didn't deserve to be happy. So I am glad you know that you do. I just finished reading a fiction book - totally not related to what you have gone through but the guy in the book stopped doing the things he loved and wouldn't allow himself to enjoy anything because the didn't think he deserved enjoy like. That's got to be a terrible place to be.

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  62. Nice article!
    Have a great week-end!
    Photographe Gil Zetbase
    http://www.gilzetbase.com/

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  63. Don't let anyone judge you---take this at your own pace. Everything will fall into place.

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  64. We both feel pain but we are feeling better. You deserve to be happy of course. It is better to do things that you like that being living in the gym if you don't love the gym. I should eat more healthier, I think that you do it right. xoxo

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  65. Hi Launna!
    everyone has a right to be happy, you too, and if some day you seem so-so, be patient, there will be many beautiful and rewarding, a big hug dear.
    flò

    http://lafloppola.blogspot.it

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  66. The way spa serves for the body, same way your motivational letters serve my mind and soul!! And it is an extreme sense of pleasure :) Lotsa love to you my dear Launna <3

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  67. So true. In the times of pain it can be so hard to think it will ever be worth it but turns out it can be. Great job with so much walking but definitely take time to rest. I started up running a month ago but I went too many times and increased the distance too quickly. I've now torn the ligaments in my ankles so I'm going to be out for a couple of weeks. I am so sad because I was really enjoying making the positive change to my life.

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  68. I hope you're doing much better week dear Launna. I love summer here in Michigan and I will enjoy as much as I can. I hope your walk is is bring you much of joy Launna. Enjoy your lovely heat as much as you can;). Xx

    Tanya
    http://attraction2fashion.com

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  69. Dear Launna, you will also overcome this. Unfortunately, bad things and heartache will happen from time to time. But you will find what you deserve, that is everything.

    Jasmine ♥♥♥

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  70. Dear Launna, It's nice to see you back. And I guess misfortunes and heartaches are a way of life. I've only started ignoring them and focussing on what's important. I'm sure you'll get over it too.

    Style..A Pastiche! - Indian Fashion & Lifestyle Blog

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  71. Sadness is temporary, however beautiful and happy memories stay forever. Don't worry about anything Launna, just focus on yourself, loving yourself, bettering yourself, knowing your worth, following your dreams and being happy. Have a nice day! xo <3

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  72. amazing post ang blog! :)
    Greetings

    follow?
    http://fashionlikealife.blogspot.com/

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  73. Yeah when I'm sad I eat badly and I stop exercising too, sadness will eventually go, I believe you will overcome this!!! <3

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  74. so great words!!!
    http://laviecestchic.blogspot.it
    facebook.com/laviecestchic

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  75. Wonderful post, such touching words. <333
    New post is online...

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  76. Dear Wonderful Launna,

    I have been trying to start workin out but alas never happens. . I admire u
    for bing able to work out everyday.. thats WOW..

    New Video is up -
    Ananya Fashions n More

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  77. Hi Launna,
    I can't believe you are walking so many miles a day! That is so impressive and I can definitely relate to that quote about 'eating clean.' My husband was just teasing me for eating butter cookies left over from guests after going on a long walk today. Overeating is so easy to do with all the good food around, but don't feel guilty and I think healthy eating can sometimes come in waves where you just really want to stick to it, but never feel bad about some over indulgences. Also about the question someone asked you, I agree with your answer - you definitely deserve to be happy.

    xoDale

    ReplyDelete

I love and appreciate all genuine comments, to save a little time, I won't be commenting on the comments on my blog (unless you don't have a blog), I will just visit your blog and comment there, if you have left a meaningful comment for me... I would much rather spend the time reading and commenting on a few extra blogs ❤