Time For Me To Learn The Lesson

Before I start to write my thoughts today, I want to thank each of your for the kind and honest comments over the years. I have been incredibly grateful for having this form to get my thoughts out, whether they have been daily or weekly... whatever it was that I needed at the time. I love the blog community I am in, so much so that I have a great desire to meet so many of you... I believe one day that will be possible.

Saying all this... I have been thinking about not writing here, at least not where I publish it for anyone to read for a while. Why? Well when I started this blog in 2009 it was to deal with the aftermath of being raped by my ex husband, I had lost my voice in that relationship and I needed to write what I was feeling inside. I had changed a great deal in my marriage... I tolerated behavior that today I would never accept.  I didn't write a great deal for the first three years...my blog was more of a personal diary that a few people read which I didn't promote. It helped me just to get my thoughts out... then my life took a huge turn at the end on 2011.
David, the man I'd always had a crush on became interested in me, I was over the moon... I cannot begin to explain how joyful I felt. I had a permanent smile and I believed in us, there was no doubt in my mind that we were going to be together. We had even discussed marriage, he came home for Christmas and it was amazing. However, he went home and in the new year he had a change of heart and I started writing almost daily to be able to handle the pain of losing us. It helped and I was working through a lot of the emotions, I had even got my head wrapped around eating healthy and exercising... I began to change my life for the good in the Summer of 2013.

Then that fateful day in September 2013 happened and I was changed permanently. I stopped sleeping and depression took over, I wondered if I would ever feel good or believe in anything again. I exercised even more... I started writing weekly and I found it was what I needed and all that I had time for... I came through most of that pain and found a way to move on... they were two of the most tumultuous years I had ever had to deal with... pain brings a growth that nothing else can.

Lately I wonder why I've continued to write? I'm not even sure I have the answer... part of me thought it was helping me but then I realized last week that I've been recycling my thoughts and not really learning from them, isn't that what writing a personal blog is about? Learning and then changing? I know that sometimes we learn a concept and a year later, we learn more about that concept. However; I feel like I am relearning the same concept over and over... 
I am going to take some time, real time to decide if I want to continue writing here, if I feel like writing can change me for the better I will be back. Until then I will continue to write for me because I need that... if any of you want to stay in contact with me, feel free to add yourself to my Facebook Launna Krivousov - Twitter @LaWannish - Instagram @launnak or Google+ Launna Krivousov. I love staying connected through social media. Also, although I will miss all your blogs I am taking time away from them too... I need to make some changes in my personal life as I have been feeling like I was spiraling out of control... I need to focus on me and Valentina... and hopefully learn the lesson...

I do know that I will be back to read and follow your blog posts after I have taken some time to get my life under control, I will miss you all a great deal, especially all of you who leave me such beautiful and heartfelt comments.
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74 comments :

  1. Hi Launna, I hope you will stay in touch with us all and will continue to write. I enjoy hearing from you. I hope all will be well soon.

    Mrsinlondon.co.uk

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  2. Best Wishes for you Launna, much love and lots of Hugs <3
    i stay with you on Twitter, kisses!

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  3. Oh and I just discovered your blog! But sometimes it's necessary to take a break. I'm sorry you've had to go through such hard times. Although you may not feel strong you sound remarkably strong to have handled these trials and grown from them.

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  4. Do what you need to do! I hope that new and fresh things are on their way for you. Thank you for leaving such kind comments on my own blog too, it's so much appreciated! Take care :)

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  5. "I realized last week that I've been recycling my thoughts and not really learning from them, isn't that what writing a personal blog is about?"

    Well, maybe not, actually. For me it is more of an outlet than anything else, a way to keep track of what I am going through.

    After 10 years I can't say it really changes anything, although I am glad to have 10 years of blog to look pack on. Oh my gosh I feel like everything in my life is the same recycled nonsense over and over and I am freaking SICK of it, but I don't know how to change it. Hmmm maybe this is a good blog post...

    Do what you feel you need to do. Take the time and space you need.
    Sending you good vibes. <3

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  6. I totally understand, I also started blogging originally to process events that I had experienced. Take all the time you need and I will send you a request on facebook x

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  7. I will really miss you too, but I understand completely, and have asked myself many of the same questions lately. I'll look forward to connecting with you on IG. Until we meet again - please take care of yourself, and know that we are always here if you need us :)!

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  8. Don't worry Launna, take all the time you need.... but, keep in touch via FB, my sweet friend!
    Good luck!
    Kisses, Paola.

    Expressyourself

    My Facebook

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  9. I will miss your writing but what you say makes sense. If you feel stagnant then I guess its time you moved on to something better. Lots of love and take care.

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  10. Take care of yourself Launna. I too will miss you.

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  11. I like this! Great post. :D

    ** I'm inviting you to join Love, Beauty Bloggers on facebook. A place for beauty and fashion bloggers from all over the world to promote their latest posts!


    xoxo;
    BEAUTYEDITER.COM

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  12. Good luck to you, Launna!! I hope you come back... but if you don't... stay happy!!


    Amber
    All the Cute
    Today’s Post: Featuring Alena… Purple Poncho Sweater

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  13. Well, dear Launna, I think you shouldn't think too much about it: if you feel to write, then do it, if you don't, don't, it's up to you!
    Maybe at start this blog was an healing thing for you, but who says that you couldn't continue even id you don't need anymore? Feel free to do what you whant!
    Anyway, I'll keep to follow you on the socials! ;)
    xxx
    S
    http://s-fashion-avenue.blogspot.it

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  14. It is OK to take time to take care of you, in fact it is a great idea! You know you have friends out here and we will always have you in our hearts!

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  15. I sincerely hope that you will keep writing here, Launna! Maybe the fact that you keep thinking about the same things over and over again means that you still need some time to process that information and learn from it?

    Bella Pummarola

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  16. Hi Launna,

    Do keep in contact and keep writing. Yes, do take time for yourself a bit, too.

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  17. Wishing you all good things, Launna!

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  18. Wishing you all the best, Launna! It sounds like you are doing exactly what you need to do for yourself and Valentina. I agree with you that writing is cathartic, so I hope you do continue to write for yourself. Thanks for sharing yourself with you and I hope you will be back. :)
    ~Jess

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  19. Launna, I wish you nothing but happiness! Yes, taking time for yourself is good! I did this today for a few hours and we all need this. Sending you a warm hug.

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  20. Hey Launna!
    We have Diwali festival over here. And on this day we wish Happiness, Prosperity and Success to our loved ones.
    I wish you the same!
    Take care.. will miss your posts..
    Lots of Love and Hugss!! <3

    http://beimperfectbutreal.blogspot.in/

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  21. Sometimes, it's better to take a step back and evaluate. All the best!

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  22. I think what you are doing is very brave and admirable. I will miss your blog a lot but if this is where you need to be right now then it is for the best. I really do hope to keep in touch with you though Launna - and I have no idea how I missed this but I never knew what really really happened to you until today. I knew you'd been hurt - but I am so shocked by the extent of it. I am so sorry. I am always here for you. I definitely think a book on your experiences would be absolutely incredible xxx

    www.bohemianmuses.blogspot.com

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  23. This was a nice read dear , thank you !
    xoxo

    www.sorananistor.com

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  24. You will be missed. I do hope things go well on your journey and find the joy in everything you do. All the best with your writing, friendships and family.

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  25. Dear Launna,
    While like so many others I will miss you. I understand how you feel and I sincerely pray and hope you find the inner peace and contentment you are looking for. You will work it out :)
    You always do. That's what makes you so special.
    Stay in touch. Hope to see you back.
    Love,
    Toobs.,

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  26. You want to know why I'm such a massive fan of you, Launna? Because you remind me of myself back in 2012. Reflection of Sanity didn't start out as a beauty blog, it was a personal online diary just like yours here. I didn't promote it either but I wrote everything and anything that was in my mind. It was an outlet for me to release my thoughts and emotions. My life was just starting to come together and I slowly healed because my husband then boyfriend was extremely patient and supportive of me. Finally in 2014 my blog quit becoming an online diary and it was revamped to what it is today. I only kept the name "Reflection of Sanity", it was a reflection of my own sanity or whatever that was left of it after many years of hardship....so now you know.

    I guess my point is, you're not alone and there are many including myself that resonates with you. If you ever needed a stranger's ears to listen then I'm here. Hugs, Launna, I sincerely hope you won't stay silent for long. Your real readers will miss you. xx

    Shireen | Reflection of Sanity

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  27. always write very interesting post!!!Have a nice day!!!

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  28. I've connected with you over on Facebook. I hope you don't discontinue blogging. I've enjoyed reading your posts and getting to know you. It's a great community here. But I certainly understand if you need to move on. Hugs!

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  29. Dear Launna,
    I have to take under control my relationship to food in this period, I feel anxious, I must find time to go out runnng... :)))
    I wish you a wonderful evening and send you a big hug!

    xoxo
    www.bellezzefelici.blogspot.com

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  30. Dear Launna, you have endured so much. I support you whatever you do. Life is hard yet beautiful. We'll be in touch.

    Jasmine ♥♥♥

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  31. Amazing post dear! I invite you to join my Giveaway on the blog:

    theprintedsea.blogspot.de/2015/11/phone-case-giveaway

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  32. Hello Launna: I found this post, maybe it is helpful: http://missymayification.blogspot.com.es/2015/11/motivational-monday-be-nice-to-yourself.html
    I will read your post tomorrow. Have a great day! xoxo

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  33. My dear Launna, taking the time you need is perfectly okay and it's not selfish at all, as it says in the first quote. I will miss your posts a lot, I'm not gonna lie. But knowing that it's for the better makes the wait easier. Also, I'm so glad that we follow each other on social media and that we can stay in touch over there.
    Your story never cease to amaze me, I think you're the living proof that "pain brings a growth that nothing else can." Your strenght motivates me and inspires me so much. I wish you all the best in this new period and be sure that if you ever need to talk, you can always email me.
    Lots of love,
    Deb

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  34. We will miss you Launna but it is important to take time for yourself when you most need it. I will be in Instagram. See you soon!! xxx
    www.travelera.es

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  35. Hi Launna. I would be lying if I said I'm not sad to hear you taking a break but I totally understand how important this is. I will definitely keep in touch. Please take care.
    xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
    BEAUTETUDE

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  36. Launna, I get what you meant but I sincerely wish you take some time off and come back. I really will miss you otherwise. One more thing is that a blog is where you express yourself and vent out sometimes too. I find great solace while writing a blog post, when I sit in a quite room. It's like meditation for me. Since, you are good with words and that you inspire us all with your posts, I'd really wish that you'd come back and write more and continue inspiring us.

    Diwali OOTD on Style.. A Pastiche

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  37. Just take some time off, Launna, we all understand. Maybe you'll discover that you don't need to write it all down for the world to read anymore. Or maybe you'll find that you do. Whatever you learn, just know that we support you.

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  38. Hi Launna,

    I'm so sorry to hear all of that. I joined your blog this year so I wasn't aware of what had happened to you in the beginning and that's awful. I wont go into sympathy as I know that's not going to help, but I am so glad you have changed into the strong woman you are today. From reading your posts each time you make them I have come to realise how much you have grown and changed now, all for the better. These horrible times in our life shape us and make us into the people we are destined to be and without them, we don't know how our life might be. I have been through some hideous, awful times in my life, to the point that I didn't want to live or exist anymore and I'm thankful that I have come through it all. It definitely makes us stronger.

    I can understand you not feeling like you want to write much anymore because it is bringing negative emotions around, but honestly it doesn't have to be that way. Who says you have to use your blog for negatives and pain? It's your blog, you can write what you want. If you enjoy writing so much, why not turn it into something positive and happy that you love writing for? You could share anything you create, perhaps even write a story, share some of your make up or jewellery, shoes, whatever you want to do. I'm only saying this because blogging has been a part of my life since around the time it has been for you and it's an extension of me, so personally I would be lost without it, so I'd just change what I wrote about. I hope that helps you! I'd be sad to see you retire your blog as I've become quite fond of you and your lovely comments! Huge hugs! xx.

    Raindrops of Sapphire

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  39. Hm, I guess in the End it really is up to you if you really want to continue your blog. I will miss it for sure!
    Maybe if you realise, that you can't go without the blog-o-sphere you still can change this blog or start a new one maybe with another theme... art, daily thoughts,etc... it's up to you.
    I already added you on FB, just in case! ;)

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  40. I completely understand. My blog has been revamped twice to reflect the direction I wanted to go, and even then I debate quitting on a regular basis--not because I want to be away from my blogging besties, but because real life is often so demanding. Here's to doing what we need most and having the courage to step away!

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  41. Launna
    Your health and well being and that of Valentina's should take priority over everything.
    Blog when you are happy to blog. have a rest when you need to ...
    Sometimes modern media, communication is just what we need but sometimes the peace, silence and stillness can be healing and refreshing.

    My best thoughts and good wishes, and when you are ready to post I hope to be able to come back and visit your blog.

    All the best Jan

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  42. My dearest Launna, I tear up reading this post. So so sorry for all you've had to endure. Life is surely not a walk in the park. You said it all, not much left to say. But I want you to know that you will be missed sorely. Do what you need to do for you. You are a great writer though and I hope you come back to writing. I'll visit your blog every now and then just to reread your very inspirational posts, all of them. I hope that is an option? I'll probably sob through some, and laugh through some. Sending you great vibes and lots of love. Thanks for all the wonderful comments, and for all the inspirational posts. Please return soon. Now the tears are really flowing. Take care of yourself Launna, Xo
    http://fashionablyidu.blogspot.com/

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  43. We need time to write and time to relax, you can take holidays from the blog from time to time, we will miss you but we will be happy when you are back and if you don't feel like coming back we can contact you in other ways, like twitter. Have a great day you deserve it!

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  44. I used to feel guilty whenever I took time off, but I've come to understand myself how important it is sometimes. Take all the time you need, my dear! I hope you will be back soon, though :(


    Fashionably,
    Patricia
    http://www.wingsforliberty.com

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  45. We really need a break ever so often and I went through one as well. Being away from blogging you had been one of the few I missed reading.

    Sorry you are having a rough time and I am here if ever you want to chat.
    I added you to my facebook so we can keep in touch.

    Always here for you <3

    Always keep your chin up. You deserve to be happy and I am sending all the warm wishes and strength you need now.

    xx

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  46. My dear sweet Launna, I actually love this post so much. Because it shows what an incredibly awesome amount of growth you have gone through :) In 2009 and 2013 a version of you was writing to get all the pain out, to deal with the hardships of life, to get through. And you can be SO PROUD of how far you've come, you're really one of the most inspiring people I've ever met! I believe that it's a good thing this blog starts feeling like the past to you - because that time of pain is in the past, now a better, healthier and happier future is waiting for you. You have our support 100% no matter if the future has a space for this wonderful blog of yours (with a few changes to make it feel like you again of course :) or if it's just going to be something that closed the past. THANK YOU for opening up in a way most people are hardly able to do. You have given us as much as our comments gave you. You are amazing Launna. I cannot wait to see where the journey of your heart will take you. But I believe it's going to be all the good that you deserve. Much love to you <3 We'll stay in touch for sure, no matter where :)
    Lots and lots of hugs to you,
    Beate

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  47. I know it's a selfish desire, but I REALLY don't want you to stop writing here!!!! :-( I will miss hearing from you!!! You are one of my favorites. :-( - www.domesticgeekgirl.com

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  48. I do hope you come back but of course only if it's right for you. We have to keep in touch no matter what. Talk soon.

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  49. I will miss you dear Launna. Take as much time as you need. I'm happy we are friends on insta so I will see you there. Hugs

    www.effortlesslady.com

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  50. Aquele hidratante labial é bom e barato! \o/

    Não sabia da história inicial. Mas saber disso me faz ter mais orgulho de você, porque seus posts mostram que você superou tudo isso. Sua força é uma inspiração pra mim. Espero que você volte a escrever algum dia. E que mantenha o contato, mesmo eu não sendo fluente em inglês. Torço para que você se ache por completo. Que seja feliz!

    Ótima sexta, Launna!

    Beijo! ^^

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  51. My heart goes to you, Launna!! You are a strong person and it's alright to take some time off to recuperate and regain your inner strength. If you feel the need, do feel free to drop in an email.

    Take Care!!

    Lots of Love!

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  52. Hi Launna.. I am sorry to know what u had to go through in the past . I have been following u for a while and I also know it is not easy to write about your personal life and then for everyone to read , it requires a lot of courage - all the hardships that u have gone through has only made you a better & stronger person.. it is ok to take a break and not write if u dont feel like.. hope to see u back on ur blog soon.. Hugs & love ♥♥

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  53. Okay, sweetie. Do you know the story about people who enter our lives for a season, a reason, or a lifetime. (If not, you should be able to find it by doing a google search.) Anyhow, writing a blog can be the same. It might serve a purpose for a particular period of time, and it may come to a point where it no longer serves a purpose for you. OR it might bring you joy for many many years. Whatever works for you.

    Take care of yourself, and if I don't hear from you before then, I hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving.

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  54. We will miss you but you have to do what is right for you. Take some time off---step away from the blog. I'm betting that maybe in a few months or even a year, you'll want to write again because you are a very passionate writer, and that's never an easy thing to give up. Take care of yourself and keep in touch via FB. <3

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  55. Launna, we're connected on facebook. Stay in touch girl. You deserve a great life. You've come through a lot. You're a fighter, an overcomer, an amazing woman. Hugs and wishes for the best life has to give you.

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  56. Dear Launna,
    I hope to keep in touch with you. I'll pray for you and your life, I'll miss a lot your letters, so important for me.
    A big kiss :)

    xoxo
    www.bellezzefelici.blogspot.com

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  57. Hi, Launna!
    Have a nice evening!
    Photographer Gil Zetbase
    http://www.gilzetbase.com/

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  58. Launna, I hope things are looking good with you.
    Take it easy. :)

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  59. Dear Launna,

    I like the way you explain feelings and thoughts. I'm sure you'll get what you're willing. Take your time. Maybe you desire to writte in your blog ahead and tell us what you've learned about.

    Kss a lot
    http://tupersonalshopperviajero.blogspot.com.es/

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  60. I've just had a recent experience that you had with David and believe me I'm having a hard time coping with it too! I relate to you so much my dear Launna on life experiences that sometimes its almost like reading my life when I read your posts!
    Xx,
    Nilu Yuleena
    BIG hair LOUD mouth

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  61. Hi Launna, I didn't know that you went through a lot. But I am so proud of you of what you've become. Whatever you decide to do on writing, I will support you. :) I know God has better plans for you and if you're lost on words or thoughts, just speak to Him. Everything will be better soon. God bless dear Launna. :)

    xoxo, rae
    http://www.raellarina.net/

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  62. Pain does cause growth, even in areas you wouldn't think you could stretch and grow. Living that, and moving forward. and boy am I learning/stretching/growing. :) Hoping you return if nothing more than to just keep us updated and say a big howdy. :)

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  63. I think it is incredibly important to take some time away from the blog world and just reevaluate things. I did i tback in August and it really helped put some things in perspective about where my priorities and goals lived.
    www.amemoryofus.com

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  64. its okay Launna you need to take time fro yourself and your daughter we all need a pause form time to time. hope you feel better soon. sending all the love from your friend here in the Philippines! <3 always take care!

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  65. Sending you much love, stay active on myfitnesspal and we can keep in contact there to motivate each other! Always nice to have time apart from something to clear your head and regain something new! Cheering you on, always. <3 Hugs and always praying for you <3

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  66. How are you? I hope you are well. xoxo

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  67. Hey Launna! I'm so glad that writing and reflecting was able to help you! ^_^ <3 By the way, I love these images you posted, they are all so relevant to my past few months.

    Also, regarding my most recent blog post, thanks for reading it! I agree- even if I removed some things, I still have things I rarely use. I think that also knowing that I have more makes me think that having more may be okay... and I don't even know if that makes much sense. haha. Perhaps having more decreases the value I see in it? Anyways- the more STUFF, the less GOD!

    Blessings,
    Christine
    www.beyoutifulhope.blogspot.com

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  68. A very interesting post , I love to read you !!! greetings !!

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  69. My Dear Launna
    Just putting a comment here, thinking of you and wishing all is well with you.

    All the best Jan

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I love and appreciate all genuine comments, to save a little time, I won't be commenting on the comments on my blog (unless you don't have a blog), I will just visit your blog and comment there, if you have left a meaningful comment for me... I would much rather spend the time reading and commenting on a few extra blogs ❤