I have been wanting to write for the last week, each time I would think tonight would be the night... I would have had a very stressful day at work, I also ended up having vertigo 3 days in the last week and I have been spending a lot of time organizing my social media. First and foremost the physio therapist has given me the green light to start walking again... now if the weather would cooperate, unfortunately there has been a great deal of rain, the long range forecast looks pretty good for now, which I am looking forward to... Second, I have been sabotaging myself when it comes to food. I am not even sure why, I know I have to figure out why so that I can continue on my healthy path.
I have had small dips here and there over the past couple of years but this has been a big long dip, I am not sure what it will take... I know that once I get walking again, I will have something more to focus on other than sitting in front of a TV... Here's the funny thing, I don't even like the TV, I find it boring and monotonous, I actually don't watch full shows, I just have it on while I do my social media on my phone. However; that is not a good excuse for me to just throw everything I have learned away.
There are going to be tough times in my life, food isn't the answer to those issues. I am not berating myself or thinking I am a failure in any way... I just need to figure out a better way to handle disappoints and trials. Walking these past few years has really had me focused, I never even knew how much it kept me on the path until I couldn't do it. I have to learn other methods because as much as I love walking, it isn't always going to be feasible. I don't know what the answer is yet but that is what I am working on at the moment.
I know I have spent my life not making choices because I was too concerned what people might think or say... but as I grow older and understand more and more that the life we have been given was meant to live, to explore and grow. We all have different paths in our lives and no one should tell us which one to take because they feel they know what is best for us... I know the path I want to take, I just need to figure out how to get there... and the truth is that I believe if it is meant to be, a way will be made... My faith just has to be bigger than me fears...
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