Self Care Is Self Love

I have been putting off blogging all weekend, not because I didn't want to write but because I was trying to get my words out to say what I wanted to say... I have been overwhelmed with blogging lately and not by writing as I only write once a week at the most, it is all I have time for... but because I feel this need to constantly keep up with everyone else's blog, even at the expense of me writing my own. I even wondered if I should stop writing? Yet, I know that writing is what helps me to figure out issues in my life. While I was thinking about it, I came to admit to myself that I am a people pleaser... 

I thought I was past that, I thought I had grown from that.... However; a few of the comments I receive and I stress a few of them are not genuine, they haven't read my entry, they just write a generic comment so that I will visit their blog and comment back....which I have been doing, now saying all this, I love comments, honest, real and open ones where I get to know the person. I have decided that if someone is not taking a moment to actually read the words I write, I won't be publishing the comments any longer. I honestly don't want to waste my time when I could be reading someones words who appreciate that I actually took the time to write. 
I have decided that I have to give myself a break and I will not be able to comment on every single blog I read, it's not realistic for me anymore as I follow an incredible amount of blogs, even I don't know how many... I read a blog this week that kind of opened my eyes, she was pretty honest about her addictions and it made me think about mine... I am always trying to be the perfect blogger, keeping up with everyone, not wanting to let anyone down... Instead, I am letting myself down, I talk about self care here all the time and basically they have just become words, I haven't been practicing. 

This is no ones fault but mine, I need to set boundaries for myself and know that the people that I follow, the ones who really care about me will be there, frankly those are the only people that matter to me in the blogging world. Of course I want my blog to grow in readership but if I rarely write how will it grow more?  ... I am not giving up reading or commenting but I am going to be taking time for myself to read a book, actually visit a friend without my phone turned on... play some board games with Valentina.. 
I have this bucket list of things I want to do and more often then not I sit in front of a computer or with my phone in my hand. That quote above says it all, we are connected to people all over the world through technology and it is awesome, I love it, at the same time though, I find I am not as connected to the people around me. If that makes any sense? I make time for blogging and I don't make time to do other things that entail my making an effort in my own life. You know what that is, that is ignoring the issues I have and covering it up with blogging because it's easier. 

This weekend showed me that I have let everything around me go... on Saturday I didn't even get dressed until I caught up reading, then it was almost five o'clock before I went to get groceries... I followed that with laundry until midnight... oh and in between I commented and read blogs. That is an addiction I use so that I can let everything else slide in my life. Today, I figured out why... if I don't have time to think, I don't have deal with my feelings... I have to deal with my feelings and I need to let go of trying to be the perfect blogger... that doesn't exist. . . Self care is self love....
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68 comments :

  1. I know what you mean and I have felt the same way. It is hard to keep up with everything. I always think though you should put your own writing first because it is so therapeutic for you. I always read what you have to say and appreciate your honestly as you share your ups and downs.

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  2. Awe.. I can feel you Launna, actually I am very thankful that you're one of the few who always visits my blog and leave a genuine comment. Most of the time there are people who only leave one to two words and pretty obvious that they didn't really read my blog. I agree with you taking a time Off in facing the computer and even on your cellular phone at least once in a while. I even realized that I have been too focused on social networking and blogging and forget to connect with real people. That's why I went out last night with my bestfriend, we talk and had a good laugh. It's really different than just letting your life evolve onto the world wide web. You really should take a break Launna :) and again, I really appreciate your effort on visiting on my blog and leaving such genuine comment.

    xx
    Rica | www.sassycebuannachic.com

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  3. Aww Launa!! Thank you for sharing your thoughts. You know I used to write regularly on my blog, but I stopped because I felt like no post was ever good enough. Then, I read this quote which says "Do not let perfect become an enemy of good." This year, I am really trying to write regularly again, not necessarily for an audience, but simply for myself! You are right about getting unplugged and really live in the moment, but please don't stop writing! :))

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  4. You definitely have to try and make time for yourself. Blogging is a hobby and writing comments on other people's blogs should be fun and enjoyable experience not at an expense of your own free time and blog! I usually write comments when something moves me and particularly interests me. I love your honest hopen blog and hope your speedy walking is going well X mrsinlondon.co.uk

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  5. I completely understand what you're saying. I love reading blogs and commenting, but sometimes it just gets to be too much, and I'm missing out on the life going on around me. I finally had to set a certain amount of time - there are some blogs I check every day, and others only once a week. It's so important to take care of yourself, Launna. Hope you have a great week!

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  6. I agree with you, it takes a lot of time to answer every comment, to visit all the blogs and as we use more social media we become more unsocial in our life, as we have less time for it :). I'm not answering every comment now, I decided to go to GFC feed everyday as when I read the news in the morning and comment a few new posts each time.
    Have a nice week lovely!
    xxx
    www.travelera.es

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  7. I totally understand you. The day has only 24 hours and it's important to prioritize. Have a wonderful day!

    Jasmine ♥♥♥

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  8. A comment came just to get a visit and comment back, usually seen from no synchronization with the context of the article, it sucks, I'm very lazy to visit their blogs and comment back

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  9. I have been there, feeling the same way too. Thank you for your open and honest sharing. Let our blogging be a thing of pleasure and a hobby. I no longer feel guilty or pressured into visiting every reader. I enjoy blogging and I also enjoy visiting other blogs but at the same time I enjoy other things too like going out and spending time with my friends and garden. We are the ones to decide how much time we spend on our hobbies. Bless you, Launna.

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  10. Yes, i really understand what you say and meaning. Hope you don´t stop writing <3
    I know you are here, even you don´t comment on each Post, it is not important to do that :)
    We meet us every day on Twitter, i like it :)

    Have a great Day Launna, kisses

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  11. I have had so many such instances, Launna. But I know I am learning a lot... Yes, a lot more to learn in blogging and about bloggers. I have always thought you are too kind and sweet to take the initiative in leaving comments and sharing on everybody's posts. But that can be really stressful..I know! I have felt the same way so many times... especially when you don't get a genuine feedback about your writing/posts. But I also let go many times- when I find it difficult to keep up with everything.

    But again, blogging is such a process that involves too too many interactions and involves a lot of task. But you don't stop writing. Take a break and create more time for yourself in the process. Make it a fun and enjoyable journey and not stressful for yourself. I love reading you, always!!
    Hugs & Kisses,

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  12. That people-pleasing thing is hard to get past. Children are either conditioned in early childhood to either get the people around them to meet their needs, or meet everyone else's needs. Especially women. We are taught not to be "selfish" (that word is so often mis-used)

    I struggle with it too.

    I do think you are over-justifying why you can't comment on so many blogs... you are under no obligation whatsoever to do that. If you want to, good. If you are using it as a way to escape- honestly that's ok too, we all need our escapes.

    Keep your in-person connections; you are lucky to have them.

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  13. Hi sweet Launna,
    I agree with you, it's very important to prioritize in our life.
    Have an adorable day
    Maggie D.
    Fashion Blog Maggie Dallospedale fashion diary

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  14. It's always so good to read your posts! I feel like we have a lot in common, I might be a people pleaser as well. On my mission and especially after it I have learned how important it is to love yourself, because without it you can't love the others. You can't go trying to save the others if you're destroying yourself at the same time. Loving yourself is one the biggest commandments our Savior Jesus Christ has given us. God wants us to love ourselves, because He has created us in His own image and Jesus Christ has paid the full price of our souls.
    I have been thinking that I would like to start blogging again, but I'm not sure yet what kind of blog I would like to do....if you have any good suggestions or ideas, I would love that!

    With love,
    Your friend from Finland
    Sister Susanna Koivisto

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  15. Well, dear Launna, Iknow this is not so nice, but people that leave comments without reading the post is pretty normal.
    I receive many of them every day, and often I notice that they use even the same phrases for every blog they visit! Honestly I don't stand this kind of people at all (and naturally I'd never visit them back)!
    I know that everybody wants his blog grown and became more and more popular, but this isn't the way! If I dislike you just reading your few words on comments, I'd never became your follower, don't you think?
    Anyway everybody live the life that wants, so who cares? :)
    To be people pleasing isn't bad, for me, until this became an obstacle for you! You should just find the right balance! :)
    xxx
    S
    http://s-fashion-avenue.blogspot.it

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  16. Blogging can be very overwhelming and time consuming. When I started my first blog 11 years ago meeting other bloggers and engaging with them via comments felt new and exciting. But things are different these days because there are so many more blogs out there and it has become a lot harder to keep up with everyone. I struggle with this, too, and for now I have drastically removed the number of blogs I read, I have kept only those I really like and who touch my heart one way or another and this feels more manageable. I still love blogging but I am also trying to find a better balance between my online and ‘real’ lives. Thank you for this post and reminder xo

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  17. The most important things are you and your loved ones - they must take priority over everything else.

    I think so many of us are guilty, and also feel guilty, if we don't get to do everything but let's be honest with ourselves ... we are not super woman/man ... we all have lives outside of blogging, and somehow there is a happy balance - it's just some weeks seem to be better balanced than others !!!

    I hope you had a good weekend ... and as we say goodbye to February ... May March be a good month for you.

    Take Care

    All the best Jan

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  18. I feel you on writing and someone not reading it. That's why I don't write too much because what's the point? I also hate someone leaving an irrelevant comment just so i can comment back. My dear take care of your self first before anything else. I used to comment alot when my mom was helping with the baby but Now I don't have that much time. We can only do so much. Wishing you a great day.
    www.effortlesslady.com

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  19. I face some of these same issues. It's difficult to balance writing and blogging with commenting on other people's blogs and with "real life" and interacting with people we know in real life. Although I love being able to get to know so many people far and wide, I sometimes miss the days when we only knew a few people, but we knew them very well.

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  20. It is so tough to keep up with everyone's blogs. I really don't know how people like Alex do it. I reply to everyone who has responded to my most recent post and check out their blogs. But there's no way I can visit everyone. Don't be tough on yourself for not keeping up with everyone. You do what you feel you can.

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  21. I can relate to this post because I tend to be a people pleaser too. It can be a hard habit to break. It is nice to visit blogs and to read what our friends have to say, but if people are just writing a couple of words to get you to visit then you are right- your time can be better spent (and those are easy ones to stop taking your time from you). :)

    I am glad you had some time to reflect. It is fun to read and chat with our online friends, but you don't want to miss out on doing some of those bucket list items too. :)

    Hope you have a lovely week!
    ~Jess

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  22. Passando para desfruta da sua postagem de superação por que
    cada dia é um degrau a mais de vitoria.
    Meu canal: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=apP6eHn5PlI
    Blog:http://arrasandonobatomvermelho.blogspot.com.br

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  23. The more I get to know you-the more I realize how much alike we are on so many levels. That old 'guilt thing' comes into play much more often than I would like to admit. I think each person has to do what is right for them--but if it becomes a 'job' to visit and respond then I think it has a negative effect all the way around. I find that I sometimes use it as an escape from 'real life', too. xoDiana

    ps- I ALWAYS read blogs when I visit--and if I don't have time to read it then I don't leave a comment.

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  24. Great post Launna! So true and inspiring.

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  25. That happens to me too, that people just skip straight to the comments without actually reading what I have to say. No fun, but then again I write about beauty most of the time and not (so much) about personal thoughts and feelings, so I guess it's even more hurtful when it happens to you.

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  26. That's very honest of you Launaa and honesty always rewards, though I know you donot expect anything but its so nice to see that you are coming out openly, which is rare trait these days.

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  27. Like you Launna, I am a reader and try hard to be thoughtful in doing so. It is impossible to read all the blogs you follow and live your life outside the screen. I did find myself in this predicament and I decided to slow down, and visit + comment as time allows me too. Making time for friends and family is the best and so fulfilling. Exploring places is also a great way to learn and grow. The blogging community is growing rapidly and I think will always be there to welcome you! You are a great person Launna, live life to the fullest.

    Much Love,
    Tania
    http://inspiremyfancy.blogspot.com/

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  28. And self-love is an important prerequisite to loving others. You can never give what you don't have. :)

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  29. Hi launna, i do i do i do...your problem such as my old posted its a little bit difficult to be a good blogger. Read and comment all blog i following is imposible for me to. Well we should make time priority, enjoyed the time with our real life is important, some time leave or off the laptop and mobile phone its a good idea. and please dont stop to write. Just do blogging as hobby dont make it hard.

    I love to read your blog, and i fell like you said some time the visitor come and leave not relevant comment, not match with the entry because they didnt read the entry. But i belive the other read it. Well my english so bad some time i used google translate and guessing the entry, leave comment with bad grammar and i dont know the owner of blog understand or not about my comment but i do the best of me for it :D

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  30. Good for you, Launna! You do have to carve out time for things you enjoy... offline! I appreciate your support, but I know what you mean by the time consumption that goes into blogging...and following favorite bloggers!!!!

    Set those boundaries, girl!


    Amber
    All the Cute
    Today's Post: On Pointe...

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  31. Insincere commentators... Yeah. What I love even more is when I make the effort to read their blogs, comment, and then they never pop by to say "Hi." That's actually my test. If they don't come over and throw some words at me, I typically won't go to their place again. *shrugs* You have to know who is worth supporting and who deserves the attention. Life is too short to waste.

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  32. It's definitely hard to not let blogging stress you out sometimes! I go through an "off-week" every once in awhile. Where I just can't find the motiviation to write, read others blogs, etc. I think it happens to most of us!
    www.amemoryofus.com

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  33. Oh..do keep writing! Its in the blood. Sometimes, it pours out, sometimes..you feel it barely drips..but please keep writing! Even about those little things..getting you through the day. And please do more things with Valentina!

    When I do read your blog sometimes, I feel..I should be out doing something..like taking a long walk. Eat more healthy! You are very inspiring. And thank you so much for your feedback too! All the best & Keep Writing!

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  34. I agree with you. Sometimes it's necessary to take a step back and realize that the thing we'd thought was good for us no longer is. Usually, the cause for this is because we're doing too much of it.

    I hope that now you're aware of it, you'll find a way to strike the right balance again.

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  35. I feel the same way about some comments too,they aren't genuine enough.
    Reading this post makes me reflect alot on self love,am always on my computer or phone and have very little time spentwith friends or even family.

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  36. Dear Launna,
    try to take time for you, it's so important. These are difficult days for me too at work, mobbing is not easy to cope with.
    A big hug :)


    xoxo
    www.bellezzefelici.blogspot.com

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  37. Completely understandable, Launna. Actually, you're doing something many bloggers are afraid to do in order to keep their readership (or should I say what it looks like a readership). As said so many times in the blogging world, 'It's not about quantity, it's about quality'. That's mostly referred to the content we create but it can be also applied to our readership, especially for a blogger like you, who takes the time to write beautiful thoughts and opens up about real issues on your posts.
    I hope this decision gives you more time for yourself, your family, your hobbies and even for resting, and speaking of resting, have a lovely weekend, dear!! <3

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  38. I feel you 100% Launna. I too am always doubled over on my laptop even though I only post once a week. I've tried posting a couple times but with my teaching job and my family I just couldn't keep up and often times find myself wondering how some bloggers post daily. I even feel exhausted for them just thinking of it cos it's WORK. Very true about comments. It irks my nerves when I read a blog thats totally deep and has me almost in tears only to see comments like lovely pictures. Like really? I've also seen bloggers that write the same exact comment on every blog they read. I don't get it. Anyways, self care is self love for real so do what works best for you my friend. It's the right thing to do.

    http://fashionablyidu.blogspot.com/

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  39. Thanks for this post that quote "We all get addicted to something that takes away the pain" that is the story of my life lately I´ve been so sad due many stuff that makes me unhappy but I feel a bit better after read your post like always.

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  40. I understand completely. I am so far behind in my reading and in my writing and in everything else. I've been spending more and more time at Amara's school which is wonderful but nothing else is getting the attention it deserves. I'm frustrated that my house in never completely cleaned and I am always behind in something! And it is hard to get my steps in when I'm sitting here at the computer. I can't seem to find the right balance but I keep trying. And so do you! HUGS!

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  41. This is totally ok, so many of us can relate. Just do what is enjoyable in terms of writing and when you leave comments. It took me quite awhile to find the right balance. I can totally relate to the generic comments that haven't even read the post. This frustrates me majorly.

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  42. Honestly it feels the same way for me too, Launna. I get numerous comments saying 'great post' or something along those lines when it's not even relevant. More than a few times it happens on posts where I've announced something serious about my health and they put 'this is great' and it just isn't cool. It makes me mad, because like you, I always try to comment on other peoples blogs and leave them comments which are relevant and abut the post, but not everyone does back. If it's stressing you out, maybe just read the blogs that you like the most and feel connected to, cut the non genuine ones out :) That might help! But don't feel like you have to give up writing because of it, your blog and your writing isn't based on the blogs of others, you do it because you love to do it :)

    Raindrops of Sapphire

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  43. I know and understand exactly what you saying. I used to be like that when I started blogging and somehow still am. I decided along the line that if a blogger doesn't read what I've written and writes any comment down, I will do the same with them. Its only fair, right? Ha!! But now I have learnt to have more fun with blogging. I enjoy blogging, but Lord knows life is hectic too.
    Please do have time for yourself and fulfill your bucket list. :)
    Have a blessed week ahead.

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  44. Hi Launna... most bloggers r in the same boat as u.. when i started i wud visit almost all blogs i knew and overtime i felt stressful as some of them only came to me as they wanted a comment from me.. being more than 3 years in blogging i feel so stressed now n i cant keep up with everyone bt i definitely visit the selected ones whom I know are genuine...... hope to see more of ur blog posts.. I am a little lost in my own world bt i def do check our ur blog when i do remember .. have a great week ahead ♥

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  45. I can totally relate to your post Launna. I also sometimes feel overwhelmed but then I love reading and commenting...connecting to bloggers. So I keep going. All the best.

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  46. Oh Launna...a blogger friend of mine and me just had this very same conversation two days ago! We both felt burnt out by going over and visiting other blogs. Now don't get me wrong, I love to support others and absolutely love reading genuine comments on my blog but you're right, some are generic comments and it can be disheartening to know that they only want us to support their blog without taking a little time to read our words. I have since stopped visiting any bloggers that leave me non genuine comments. I feel better, less stress and I know I am only supporting those who are worth it. xx

    Shireen | Reflection of Sanity

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  47. I totally agree with what you wrote my dear Launna and indeed I'm very glad you wrote this post!
    There are many people, unfortunately, that simply makes a copy and paste of the comments on each blog that they visit without even pausing to read the title of what you have written, in order to obtain in exchange a visit to their website and a new comment turn. We do not need these "followers" !!!!
    I like to read your posts because I always find so much inspiration from what you write... please keep it up!
    With love, Paola.

    expressyourself

    My Facebook

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  48. Some of us are simply hard-wired to be people-pleasers. I've always been that way, and probably always will be. The trick is to not allow your OWN needs to be trampled all over in the stampede to meet everyone else's needs. It CAN be done. Sometimes, we just have to say... no. (Not always easy, but it's absolutely essential.)

    Keeping up a blog can be very time-consuming, if we let it. That's why I've dropped down to only doing one post per week. Even THAT requires a good bit of time, but I make a concerted effort to not let blogging be my #1 priority on any given day. Other things are important, too, and keeping all of those things... and people... in balance helps us feel balanced emotionally.

    Take care, kiddo.

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  49. Launna,
    I know the addiction part that you are speaking of, I was there. I quit writing for some time, I just about quit most online stuff. I just realized that I was not only addicted to social media/online stuff but I got addicted to working too much. I had to STOP!! Just STOP, breathe and enjoy life.
    Since I made that decision to leave the job that was smothering me, the online stuff and all that, I have felt more alive and I am out more now with people offline. I am enjoying life more too.
    You have been my online friend for many years, seen me through so many blogs, trying to please everyone with my writings. As I said, I stopped, took a deep breath, prayed a lot and then decided that I am taking my life back both online and offline. All this will be done at MY pleasure and leisure, I am over reading what other bloggers demand you do with your own blogging. What works for them doesn't always work for us, you know that.
    I am proud of you for stepping back and moving forward into a better place.

    Love you
    Rachel
    http://anoutofcontrollife.blogspot.com/

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  50. I think I have the same ... I'm reading all the blogs that I like, then I have too little time for my blog.

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  51. You have a beautiful way of expressing yourself in words Launna, and you're absolutely right to prioritise writing. It's great that you're so attentive to all your friends in the blogging community, and you always leave a considered and meaningful comment for others. But it's perfectly understandable if you want to take time to attend to other things in your life, and put your wellbeing first. I'm sure you'll find the right balance that works for you.

    Saba x

    www.trulymadlydeeplyfashion.blogspot.com

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  52. Queria muito saber inglês para colocar legendas nos vídeos... Mas aquele cacheador automático é muito bom!

    Não falo o seu idioma, porém sempre leio seus posts com a ajuda do tradutor do Google. E sei que você também lê os meus textos! Isso é interagir de verdade. Mas não ligue para essas pessoas que escrevem comentários genéricos só para ter outro comentário de volta. Responda essas pessoas com uma frase rápida, como "obrigada por passar no meu Blog" e nem se preocupe de ler o post dela.

    Ótima quarta, Launna!

    Beijo! ^^

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  53. that is my biggest pet peeve in blogging. "great post!" "lovely" "you look great!" um, what? did they even read the post? no. i don't blame you.

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  54. I put up an 'not really Wordless Wednesday' post not long ago, about my 2nd oldest proposing to his girl at Disney. There weren't a lot of words in it, and a clear skim would have shown that it was my son getting engagded, not me, but I got a lot of, 'aww you look great' type of comments that clearly showed the commenter hadn't read one word, lol. I published the first few and then after that I deleted new ones that came in because I wanted that post to be a gift to my son. It felt like the commenters congratulating me on MY upcoming wedding were distracting from that gift...does that make sense? Good thing I gave them a photo book of the big day too, lol. ;) And yes, blogging will eat up as much time as you give it and still want more. We've all learned that one. :) Hugs and hello to you while I'm here! :)

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  55. Just paying a visit to say hope all is well.
    Thinking of you and sending good wishes your way.

    All the best Jan

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  56. Your ability to wear your heart around your sleeves and share in every sense of the word is what makes you unique and amazing.
    I do agree that you may need to get on top of things that you feel blogging can sometimes make you avoid- as much as writing eases us, we really need that external human contact and connections around us.
    We are the key to our own happiness and it's the little things that matter- it may feel "preferable" to lie indoors and catch up on reading and connect with the only friends you believe that care about you on blogosphere ( and believe me, I care very very much! ) but ultimately, you will need to nuture the connections around you.
    I want you to be so happy Launna, God bless you!

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  57. it's absolutely true and sometimes we need a life to realize it
    as always, a very inspirational post dear
    kss
    new post: http://tupersonalshopperviajero.blogspot.com.es/2016/03/4-beauty-essentials-for-spring.html

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  58. it's true! many comments are only an invitation to visit other blogs.
    don't worry if you do not have time to spend on my blog I will stay there not bad, even though I'll be happy to see you when you can, I will continue to follow you my dear :)

    La Flò ♡ blog

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  59. You definitely can't sacrifice your writing for reading blogs. I used to read a bunch too or at least try to keep up with every post. But it's too much. You definitely want to get some book reading in there too especially if you love to read. I subscribe to blogs in a reeder. It's kind of a pain in the butt but now that it's set up it's done. I have a category of ones I definitely want to read and then just ones I want to keep in touch with and visit those when I can and pick and choose which one interests me. I'd certainly have more comments if I could read them all but it would me sacrificing some other part of my life which I'm not willing to do. I like going to bed early. I like getting up early and I won't do it for the sake of getting caught up on reading blogs. It's a different kind of me time. Sometimes it does have to do with blogging but most times it doesn't. I do feel like I have stronger connections with more people than I did once upon a time ago when I tried to read everyone. I think the worst comment of all is one that end with a link saying I hope you'll visit my blog too. Ugh that's like spam as far as I concerned.

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  60. Have a lovely week ahead my dear friend Launna!
    Love,
    Nilu Yuleena Thapa
    BIG hair LOUD mouth

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  61. Self care is self love. Yep. Right on. Knowing what we need and honoring that. Launna, you are a fighter, someone I respect. Keep living your best life. Hugs.

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  62. Dear Launna,
    you're right, it's hard time at work, but tomorrow I'll go back to gym after... many years... I'll be thinking of you and your lessons, since I have to learn to love myself.
    Thanks a lot for your lovely lovely comments on my posts. Yoy're in my heart. A big hug from Italy!

    xoxo
    www.bellezzefelici.blogspot.com

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I love and appreciate all genuine comments, to save a little time, I won't be commenting on the comments on my blog (unless you don't have a blog), I will just visit your blog and comment there, if you have left a meaningful comment for me... I would much rather spend the time reading and commenting on a few extra blogs ❤