A Time To Reflect

I held off writing this post because I feel like I had disappointed everyone. When I wrote my last post, I had already met 'S' and we seemed to have connected on many levels.  We talked at great length and laughed a lot, we were messaging each other all day throughout the day and making plans to see each other more.  Suddenly it ended as quickly as it started and although I was disappointed, I am still in a good place with myself.  I did take myself off the dating site for a while, I have issues when someone cannot say they are just not that into me.

I would respect someone more if they could be totally honest with me, especially since we had talked about it at great length before we even met.  I know when I met someone that I wasn't interested in, I nicely told him and didn't leave him hanging. Not everyone is capable of saying the truth for fear of not being able to handle the reaction.  Well, too bad...personally suck it up and be an adult, say the truth.
This past week gave me a little time to reflect and made me think about 'him' a bit, although 'he' did explain back in early 2012 that he realized he still had feelings for his ex, he did wait until he was home, many provinces away.  Also, he had no issue being with me the whole time he was home for the holidays in 2011, it made me wonder when he had actually come to the conclusion that he still had feelings for her...

Then it made me think about last summer when he and I were talking everyday and he was saying a lot of things he shouldn't have said because although I knew in my head that we were just friends, as I wrote about that often.  My heart wasn't quite as smart and I still had feelings... of course I never hid those either, anyone who was not aware was blind, deaf or dumb... none of which I thought he was... I think the thing that really upset me and had me turning around in circles was the about face in the matter of two days near the end of September last year.
Everything was normal on a Friday, we were laughing, teasing each other, joking and texting goodnight with xoxo like we did every night for the past couple of years.  Then out of the blue I was told something I wasn't aware of, I asked him to tell me more about it, I mean... we were 'friends', that is what 'friends' do, share their lives.  I was told that he would tell me later and to remember I was special to him and always would be...

That wasn't the truth, when it all finally came out two days later... I was the one left spinning, not understanding anything ... I was in shock and I have been for nearly nine months.  The whole thing blew me away because he told me how important honesty was to him and I reiterated the fact that it was extremely important to me too.  I was and always will be honest with the people in my life... he cannot say the same thing.

Instead of being honest, he stated he was unaware that I had been writing about him.  I want to laugh right here and now about that, he had liked my Facebook page, he had me listed as family and that meant he was getting all my updates and knew very well that I was writing about him.  Not to mention that I had actually sent many of the links to him, encouraging him to read them.  I also have a conversation where I had asked him if it was okay for me to write about him and he told me it was fine. 
This shook me to the core because I believed with my whole heart that even though we were only going to be friends, we would always be honest and open with each other.  After reflecting on my last dating incident, this all came to my mind and I realized that although he stated he wanted honesty... he only wanted what he could handle... That is very sad, as true friends are hard to come by... I have forgiven him, I refuse to hold a grudge against anyone, life is way too short.

I wanted to tell you all that I do believe that eventually I will find love, it just has to happen because I have so many people throughout this world that are hoping, praying and sending out beautiful happy vibes for me... it cannot be denied to me, I totally believe that the universe gives back what you give out.  So in essence this last dating episode with 'S' was actually good for me in the long run, it gave me time to really think... it gave me time to reflect.
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92 comments :

  1. I am truly happy you have taken time to reflect and how could that somebody not realize it was always about him. LOL
    Well, girl at least he knows now and you know how he feels and you can start to move forward with your own life.

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  2. I am glad that you are opening yourself up to others. It might take a while to find someone who is as open and honest as you, but when it finally happens it will all be worth it. I know you said you have removed yourself from the dating site, but I hope you are keeping yourself open to people you meet.

    I don't understand how he could have not understood how much you cared about him. It doesn't make sense that he kept pulling you along just to drop you at the end.

    I do think that the universe has something great for you and it is going to come to you when you are not really expecting it. You are such a great person and so deserving, it will happen!

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  3. This is just another stepping stone in life. I am glad this happened early on and the truth came out early. I mean how can he say he didn't know when you were sending him the posts and he was seeing them smh.. Nothing left to do but move forward from here.
    I know you will find someone honest and real
    xoxo
    Beautetude

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  4. I'm sorry he lied to you. I'm with you - just tell me the f'ing truth already!!

    xx
    LuLu
    Breakfast After 10

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  5. He sounds liken a young soul that still hasn't found its way.

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  6. I love how open and honest you are in your blogs! That's one of the many admirable traits I find in you and I know that you will find someone who suits you and your needs some day. Positive vibes!

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  7. Hi my lovely Launna. thank you so much for checking me in:). I've been too busy mom here. I just ignored a blog for couple of days.:). Just got done with my post and my eyes are so tired, I've to say excuse myself for cannot read your post now. I will come back and read latter. It's morning already, I just need to get some rest for a bit before my kids are up:). Thank you so much launna for being so sweet and wonderful on earth, keep up the beautiful you, I will do the same as well. good night (earlier morning) from me. oxoxox.

    http://www.attraction2fashion.com

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  8. Hello beautiful Launna,
    I am very sorry to read this story. Often people are afraid, but it's not clear what they fear.
    I believe that you are unique and special and that you DO NOT disappoint anyone.
    I follow this thought: everything flows like the water of a river (Panta Rei from Heraclitus).
    Smile to life as you always do;)
    Kisses and have an awesome friday
    Maggie D.
    The Indian Savage Diary

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  9. it's beautiful that u've show yourself,,,u're si sweet!
    www.mrsnoone.it
    kiss

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  10. Amiga bom dia ótima postagem amei
    Blog: http://arrasandonobatomvermelho.blogspot.com.br
    Canal de youtube: http://www.youtube.com/NekitaReis

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  11. To be honest, I have done this before. I've done what he did. I knew very well that a good friend of mine had feelings for me. But when he eventually told me I acted as if I didn't. A very selfish move, I know. It's just so hard to be honest and open all the time, especially when it comes to feelings. I'm sure he only 'closed his eyes' for what you felt because he didn't want to lose your friendship. I know that's why I did it. But that doesn't make it any less frustrating and difficult for you of course.

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  12. Yes launna, you most definitely WILL find love. Most likely it will happen when you're least expecting it. I, like you, would much prefer someone be completely open and honest with me up front if they are not interested. I certainly always am. It's just the respectful thing to do. Even though it may hurt to hear. I have great respect for someone who can tell me the truth, just as I would tell them the truth. But I also know it's hard for some people because they fear hurting the other person's feelings (not realizing that they're hurting the person even more down the road by being dishonest). I am a firm believer that every heartache is but a stepping stone on the way to meeting our soul mate Launna, and you will meet him. Don't ever stop believing.

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  13. You must continue to hope and seek my dear, I'm sure that soon you will find the true love... you deserve a good and sincere person, because you are a wonderful woman Launna!
    Kisses darling!!!

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  14. Its good to be honest, you seems to be a very nice heart person. very emotional post.
    keep in touch
    www.fineartandyou.com

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  15. Hi Launna,
    I'm sorry I didnt come before to your blog.
    You deserve better man who won't hurt you or lie to you. He doesn't worth you thoughts about him. Its not good to keep woman in expectation and then pretend like there is nothing to do.
    I believe your man are around the corner and soon you will meet him!

    http://lavenderloafers.com

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  16. These quotes are so inspiring!! Have a nice weekend Launna!

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  17. Your writing is so helpful and makes me think and learn a lot. You seem like such a kind person.

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  18. It is disappointing that S wasn't the one but as you said -- you have The Universe on your side and when the time is right you will find the person that you are looking for and that you deserve! One that understands what honesty and truth really are. Hang in there until then. Sometimes The Universe seems to have a strange timeline.

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  19. Finding the right person sometimes means you have to get hurt once (or sometimes more) and be able to wait for the one who has all the qualities you deserve. It sounds like he just didn't have it all! I'm sorry for your hurt but bright things are in store :)
    Www.theurbanumbrella.com

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  20. Launna, I am so sorry to hear what you are going through, but I honestly believe that some good will come out of this. If nothing else, the experience may help you to help someone else who go through it. You have such a good heart, and honesty is always good. Stay strong and I have learned that we cannot change anyone else, only ourselves, and you are a beautiful soul. Sending you a warm hug and much love.

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  21. Loving all your quotes
    My favorite one
    Hurt me with the true, but never comfort me with a lie is the best, love it.
    Great post as always
    xoxo
    http://stunningchic.com/

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  22. There is nothing wrong with you. Love just didn't choose to rest in the other person's heart. Great quotes as always dear! Happy weekend!! :)

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  23. Urgh, Men...
    They're like Aliens to me, I never did (and possibly never will) understand them.

    And 'him' telling you he never even knew about you writing about him, where the hell does he live under, a rock? And those FB notifications? Such a bloody Liar!
    But I'm happy you take it so easy... I would go shopping for a new Pumpgun with lots of Ammo. :D

    Follow the Royal Peach

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  24. You're truly healing, kiddo. Nine months have passed, and you can write more openly about it now. As time passes, it WILL get easier, and you WILL be able to put things into perspective. (Especially after Mr. Right... an honest Mr. Right... sweeps you off your feet.)

    Happy weekend!

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  25. Honesty is top priority to me too. I'm sorry you weren't being told the truth. It's hard to trust someone once you find out they haven't been honest with you. Time to reflect is a good thing. Hang in there, Launna. Hope you have a nice weekend.

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  26. Its a good thing he showed you his true colours before you got into something really serious. Hang in there Launna, the right one will definately come.
    Effortlesslady.blogspot.ca

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  27. I'm glad you went on the date but I'm sad to hear that nothing more will come of it. I'm with you on the liars, though----I have no tolerance for that.

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  28. I am truly happy you have taken time to reflect and how could that somebody not realize it was always about him. And I am glad you are opening yourself to others :)

    http://thesmallnoble.blogspot.com/

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  29. Great post dear,am sure you inspire so many people out there.I value honesty so much and dont like it when arent honest with me.Am sure you will find the right guy worth your love.
    Have a great weekend
    Cheers

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  30. My sweet Launna,
    Wishing you an awesome weekend.
    Kisses
    <3 <3 <3
    Maggie D.
    The Indian Savage diary

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  31. Aqueles protetores labiais são maravilhosos!

    O amor quando tem que acontecer, acontece! hehehe!

    Ótimo sábado, Launna!

    Beijo! ^^

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  32. Siempre tienes grandes palabras para pensar y animar, saludos, buen sabado.

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  33. Followed you via GFC and BLOGLOVIN.
    HOPE YOU COULD FOLLOW ME BACK! I'll be expecting! <3

    Here's the link so you can follow me EASILY!
    Follow The Slim Kid Inside on GFC, HERE!
    Follow The Slim Kid Inside on Bloglovin, HERE!

    New Post Up On The Blog: Awake

    With Love,

    Monique (The Slim Kid Inside)

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  34. Amiga bom final de semana
    Blog: http://arrasandonobatomvermelho.blogspot.com.br
    Canal de youtube: http://www.youtube.com/NekitaReis

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  35. Aww greate quotes!

    Thank you for your lovely comment! Of course we can follow each other! I'd be so glad to keep in contact like you said :) and what about other social media? That way I won't miss a thing! I'll leave mine on the links below <3 


    Facebook / Instagram /Twitter / Chicisimo / Bloglovin

    Hannah's Heels

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  36. you have such a nice blog :)
    Would you like to follow each other on GFC and IG? :) Just let me know :)
    http://coldinvitation.blogspot.com

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  37. Hey, if you learn something from an experience, it wasn't a waste of time. I believe everything happens for a reason, even if we can't udnerstand what it is!

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  38. I sometimes don't want to think so much beause I get sick.
    Have a nice weekend! xoxo

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  39. It was nice to read your thoughts, I always learn something from you. Have a lovely Sunday!

    http://bellapummarola.blogspot.it/

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  40. Hi my beautiful launna. As long as you are okay and have yourselves in a comfort spot. I'm not going to say anything about him even in a bit... Your heart is more than pretty thing, keep forgiving people those who the weakness and doesn't know what exactly who they really are - is the beautiful thing to do. Life is all about self - behave and take a good responsibility ourselves, if someone has comes to our lives and make up the problem and screw our life as well, that tells us, what type of person they are and learn from them as a life education in a big school world as you've always do Launna., me too:). The more we take the test the more we know the right answers. My vibes support and strength are always with you my lovely Launna. May the angles all around and protect you and your daughter! I also wish you an easy weekend wonderful girl! Hugs!!!

    http://www.attraction2fashion.com

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  41. Dating sucks. I know that sounds simple, but it's so true! It takes so much time for us to find someone who loves us the way we deserve but once we do, it's well worth it. And you'll be living your life, happy as can be with the man of your dreams, while he is still flip-flopping around, probably!

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  42. Hey Launna, wow. you really write your heart...it's beautiful. And about finding love one day, I think you're already loved by so many of us and that will translate into hooking up with the right guy to share you life with. hugs.

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  43. I really like how you write and what you write
    kisses
    www.welovefur.com

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  44. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  45. This is such a touching post! This really touched my heart. Have a great Monday. :)



    I AM ALSO ON: Instagram @kennydaily, Bloglovin and Facebook



    xoxo;
    What Kenny Hearts a Fashion and Design Blog

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  46. oh, Launna! You're not disappointing anyone by writing this post. I bet every single person who commented here had been through the same, including me. And let me tell you, when something very similar happened to me, I wasn't that mature and I didn't handle it well :( I really admire your ability to see the good side of everything, for real :)

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  47. sorry that you haven't found yet what you're looking for, what you deserve. I hope it comes soon and you can tell us here
    kss
    new post: http://tupersonalshopperviajero.blogspot.com.es/2014/06/how-to-dress-for-weekend.html

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  48. as usual great post Launna =) Honestly people need to reflect from time to time. It's the only way they could be able to assess their lives. and I am praying that you finally found what you're heart really wants and thanks for the visit dear =) by the way new blog post =) http://anotsosecretlife2011.blogspot.com/

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  49. My beautiful Launna,
    Wishing you an adorable week
    kisses
    <3 <3 <3
    Maggie D
    The Indian Savage Diary

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  50. I dont know if my last comment went through :( What i was saying is, don't punish yourself because of his ignorance! I mean, he's obviously not worth your time, and effort! I just want you to be happy, and Launna, you have to just ignore these kinda people :(

    http://anshul90.com

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  51. I am very sorry to hear that Launna :-( You are an amazing person and
    you not disappointing other people! I hope that you find someone who
    cares about you! You deserve that! And that day will come!

    xoxo
    www.its-dash.com

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  52. Ciao Launna!
    Have a lovely monday darling!!!!

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  53. Hello Launna!
    Here is not easy to find Victoria Secret's underwear but I just found in the online store :)
    They have nice things, I should buy one day from there.
    It's good that you take care of you :D
    xoxo

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  54. Hi Launna
    Thank you a lot for your comment! Yes, it's true I think also we should do and wear what we like and want rather then what people expect from us. It's our individuality and if everybody looks at me I like it:)))
    I wish you a good day today and all week ahead!!!!

    http://lavenderloafers.com

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  55. Hey darling...there is no need to be depressed. Don't forget my dear, everything happens for good and I am sure God must be having something much more better than this for you. You are the best!! And you will get the best!! Better you get over from this soon and never lose the hope. Proceed and I am sure, the best of life is yet to come :)
    Hugs
    Charu
    http://myglossyaffair.com

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  56. I know it hurts to know the truth but you have to move on!! This was a nice post, would you like to follow each other?
    a beautiful maison
    fb/abeautifulmaison

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    Replies
    1. Thank you for following, following you too with gfc, bloglovin and g+
      a beautiful maison
      fb/abeautifulmaison

      Delete
  57. this is always tough but it just means there is someone even better out there for you! can't wait for you to find happiness in love, Launna!

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  58. Hi Launna. I just wanted to stop by to wish you a happy, bless, and joy week for you here. hope you enjoy your week and take it as easy as you can handle Launna. its better this way. I love hearing from you and thank you so much for always your kind and generous Launna. You're beautiful. Hugs.

    http://www.attraction2fashion.com

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  59. Obviously this S person was not the one for you. There is nothing worse than someone who claims to want honesty and who then is dishonest. You are taking this much better than I would. Hang in there, dear.

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  60. sweety, i just stop to wish you a wonderful week and stay strong!
    <3

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  61. Amiga tenha uma semana abençoada.
    Blog: http://arrasandonobatomvermelho.blogspot.com.br
    Canal de youtube: http://www.youtube.com/NekitaReis

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  62. Awesome post Launna. I never want to bother you with questions when you are sharing these words from your heart. Now I understand some things :-) I really feel you feeling better with this one. }

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  63. It is good that you were able to take something positive away from a negative situation, Launna!
    www.amemoryofus.blogspot.com

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  64. Have a wonderful Tuesday Launna. Hope you are doing well.
    Beautetude

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  65. Hi sweet Launna,
    Wishing you an awesome day ;)
    Kisses
    Maggie D.
    The Indian Savage Diary

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  66. i wish u a great day Launna!
    www.mrsnoone.it
    kiss

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  67. Nice post Launna Kisses!

    http://ladyparisienne.blogspot.fr/

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  68. you must continue to hope my sweetye , i make the same
    have a nice day my dear
    unconventionalsecrets.blogspot.it

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  69. Launna, I am so sorry about what happened. You're so amazing and kind, you don't deserve having him lie to you like that. Honesty is very important, and it really breaks your heart when someone's not honest with you.
    You're not disappointing anyone...stay strong and continue to hope :) God Bless :)

    MJ
    www.littlepandacrafts.blogspot.com

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  70. Ciao bellissima!!!
    Have a lovely day!!!
    Kiss

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  71. Amiga boa tarde
    Blog: http://arrasandonobatomvermelho.blogspot.com.br
    Canal de youtube: http://www.youtube.com/NekitaReis

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  72. very nice and interesting post! :)


    CHECK OUT MY NEW POST! :)
    FantasyFashioned
    xoxo ♥

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  73. The people who have the biggest challenges with truth will swear up and down they love honesty, so it's hard to know for sure in the beginning. Just like people who constantly say they hate drama, always seem to be mixed up in drama. It's strange, I know. ;)

    I think it's good that you're dating. Dating is a great way to field out the Mr. Wrongs. It's way better than jumping into serious too fast. :) It's worth it to make sure the right one, is really the 'right one' because forever more is a really long time. :D

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  74. Have a good day Launna, you deserve it :D

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  75. Sometimes, I wonder if all this new technology we have for communication might hinder us in the long run. It is hard to say. We might know too much or..the fact that we have a certain version of ourselves out there..plus the fact it is hard for some to just handle the truth. I did find your post definitely, insightful.

    Hope your week is going well.

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  76. Dear, your blog is amazing! i’m impressed by your design & photos!
    everything is magnificent!

    will be happy to see you in my blog)

    www.dianacloudlet.com

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  77. Amiga boa tarde
    Blog: http://arrasandonobatomvermelho.blogspot.com.br
    Canal de youtube: http://www.youtube.com/NekitaReis

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  78. No experience is wasted. I'm sorry that this has all been so tough. It's hard to see friendships dissolve, but people change and memories are nearly long enough. Here's to brighter days and cheese.

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  79. wow he had no idea that you were writing about him the entire time... I had that happen to me with a dude too and yeeah it was awkward. Some people want honestly but can't handle the real honesty... they still just want to hear what they want to hear.. and to a degree that's what we do sometimes too. *hugs*

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  80. Dear Launna, I haven't been online for a while so haven't had a chance to read or comment on your recent blogposts. I am sorry to hear about this experience you had and can only say that you deserve better.

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  81. If a guy treats you like crap, then genuinely he doesn't give a crap and he is just not into you, if a guy wants to be with you he will make it happen no matter what. xo

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  82. Wow Launna, I have a better sense and idea of what you're going through now regarding him. And I'm guessing from your latest post the 'her" who was stalking you is the one he keeps being drawn to. I don't know, that is just a guess and doesn't really make any significance to the point I'll try and make here! Just thought I'd add it. Men are complex beings. Maybe reading all you wrote about him has been overwhelming, confusing maybe. Looks like he only wanted what he could handle as you say. It's strange though, his sudden turn of events. Maybe he's scared to open up to someone who knows what they want and was unafraid to be completely honest and open. Or he just doesn't understand the value of finding someone who you can open up to, be at one with and always understand or at least try. But you do and that is something he and she will never, ever be able to take from you. That is such a beautiful quality to have, don't ever lose it.

    xxx

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I love and appreciate all genuine comments, to save a little time, I won't be commenting on the comments on my blog (unless you don't have a blog), I will just visit your blog and comment there, if you have left a meaningful comment for me... I would much rather spend the time reading and commenting on a few extra blogs ❤