I would respect someone more if they could be totally honest with me, especially since we had talked about it at great length before we even met. I know when I met someone that I wasn't interested in, I nicely told him and didn't leave him hanging. Not everyone is capable of saying the truth for fear of not being able to handle the reaction. Well, too bad...personally suck it up and be an adult, say the truth.
Then it made me think about last summer when he and I were talking everyday and he was saying a lot of things he shouldn't have said because although I knew in my head that we were just friends, as I wrote about that often. My heart wasn't quite as smart and I still had feelings... of course I never hid those either, anyone who was not aware was blind, deaf or dumb... none of which I thought he was... I think the thing that really upset me and had me turning around in circles was the about face in the matter of two days near the end of September last year.
That wasn't the truth, when it all finally came out two days later... I was the one left spinning, not understanding anything ... I was in shock and I have been for nearly nine months. The whole thing blew me away because he told me how important honesty was to him and I reiterated the fact that it was extremely important to me too. I was and always will be honest with the people in my life... he cannot say the same thing.
Instead of being honest, he stated he was unaware that I had been writing about him. I want to laugh right here and now about that, he had liked my Facebook page, he had me listed as family and that meant he was getting all my updates and knew very well that I was writing about him. Not to mention that I had actually sent many of the links to him, encouraging him to read them. I also have a conversation where I had asked him if it was okay for me to write about him and he told me it was fine.
I wanted to tell you all that I do believe that eventually I will find love, it just has to happen because I have so many people throughout this world that are hoping, praying and sending out beautiful happy vibes for me... it cannot be denied to me, I totally believe that the universe gives back what you give out. So in essence this last dating episode with 'S' was actually good for me in the long run, it gave me time to really think... it gave me time to reflect.
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