My Three Wants

I have been thinking a lot about what I want out of my life, which means what do I want today because no one is offered tomorrow for a certainty.  When I think about what I really want, there are only three things, one I want to see my children with joy in their lives, I see a lot of that in them now, I want to see more.  Two, I want to do something more with my writing, I have some ideas and I am researching them... I will see what comes of it all and third, I want to be able to see my David, I want to have a gigantic bear hug from him with those huge arms of his... I always felt safe in them... that way I could lay my head on his chest and just feel him breathe, than I could breathe that way again before everything changed.

I think it is funny when we sit down and really think about what we want and none of them usually entail material items... not that it's wrong to want things, they are just not what is most important to me.  My wants are the simple things in life, the things that give me happiness and joy... the long term kind.  I don't want instant gratification, that never brought any lasting joy.  It actually has left me feeling emptier than before I started... which than had me looking for bigger things to fill that empty spot. None of which worked, since the empty part of me needed to be filled with love, not things.

Writing helps me to put my thoughts together in cohesive patterns where I work issues out, I feel like if I didn't write... I wouldn't have been able to come as far as I have... I see that I sometimes slide back into old patterns but I find that because I write, I don't stay in them as long, I find the way out of it sooner.  I find for me that writing my emotions down, free me..

The one about my children is what every parent wants in this world... I want my children to have joy... I want them to do better than I did as I did better than my parents.  I am thrilled when they excel at whatever they do, that is what brings me joy... knowing my children have joy in their lives.  I feel blessed to have my children... I am grateful that I was able to be there mommy or mama.

The one about David is simple, he gives the best hugs I have ever had... they are the kind that you are totally wrapped up by the other person, where time seems to stand still and all you can hear is the thumping of the other persons heart... and it's enough, just being able to breathe without so much tension.  When I thought about what I wanted, I just want to breathe without the tension that is there now... I want to feel that relaxed again one day.


I cherish my past, I accept my present and I dream for my future

12 comments :

  1. You are so right when you say that when we think about what we want we should think of what we want today since none of us are promised tomorrow. Beautiful post as always my friend.

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  2. Thank you Keith, love your comment as always ;)

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  3. You have a good list. Writing does me good, this I know. Take care.
    R

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  4. You are a great mom and a special woman. Is David man enough to handle a woman like you? If you ask me, you deserve the best :).

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  5. Thank you Rick... I think my list is good too and writing is so cathartic for me;)

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  6. Thank you Petronela... I appreciate the thought, that is very sweet of you to say:)

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  7. Fabulous List! From the heart as always, perfectly simple and to the point. Love it!

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  8. These all make good sense to me. It is so true that when we think about it, what we really want has nothing to do with materialistic things. I hope you get all these things that you want. :-)

    Have a good weekend!

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  9. Awe... thank you so much Joy... ;-)

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  10. Thank you Daisy... I hope everyone gets the wishes of their heart <3

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  11. I am SO in touch with this. For the past six weeks or so Matt & I have been running at full steam with no chance to slow down, think, relax. Once company was gone and we had the house/life back to ourselves I sat down and pumped out about 3500 words of rambling inner monologue. After I was done I felt like I could breathe for the first time in over a month.

    So happy to read you can push past everything by writing it all out. I personally feel its the world's cheapest therapy :-)

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  12. Thanks Jenn... I'm grateful that Writing helps me... I feel blessed ;-)

    I'm so happy you're getting some down time... sounds like you need it:-D

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I love and appreciate all genuine comments, to save a little time, I won't be commenting on the comments on my blog (unless you don't have a blog), I will just visit your blog and comment there, if you have left a meaningful comment for me... I would much rather spend the time reading and commenting on a few extra blogs ❤