Family and Friends

I am very lucky that I have sisters who are so diverse, there is always one that I can talk with depending on my mood and what I want to hear. If I want the truth, no matter how much it hurts, I call my sister Shelly, if I want someone who will understand what I am going through and empathize with me I call Lisa. When I want to feel unconditional love with absolutely no judgment I call Darlene. We all need these different personalities in our lives. Too much of one can be difficult to handle, we need a little of each one these.

I adore my friends, I know that when I have an issue that I need to bounce ideas off that I can call anyone of them and find many solutions that I can then make an informed decision. I have some really great friends in my life, however; I am missing one type of friend that I have not been able to replace. I say type as I thought I had a friend like this for so many years, only to find out that she was never truly a friend.

I used to have the 'friend' that I hung out with regularly, went to movies, played games, went to dinner and went shopping with. We were a huge part of each others lives but the reality was that she really wasn't my friend, that was an extremely difficult time in my life to find out that someone that I thought of as a friend for well over 20 years was actually a fraud. She ended up hurting me more than I thought possible, maybe that is why I don't have a friend like that any longer, it hurt too much to find out it was never real.

I do miss my best friend the most though, the one that knew all my secrets and kept them, the one I could call up after years of being absent from each others lives and tell them whatever and pick up where we had left off. Now they don't talk to me and I don't know why. I have reached out over and over and they never answer. You think I would give up on this friend but I just can't, I hold out hope because I have never loved anyone more than I have loved them. They mean more to me than I can convey to anyone. Everyone tells me to move on, they don't understand the depth of feelings that I have for this person, if they did, they would never ask me to give up. With this person, I could be and was my authentic self, there are few people that we meet in our lives that we can be this real with and not be judged.

I have been blessed to have the friends that I have, I know so many people who only have a friend or two in their whole lives. I have a wide variety, sure there are ones that I consider best friends but I honestly have many good friends that I can always count on.

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