Awake early on my day off, just thinking. I have actually slept for the last couple of nights, the cool night air helps a lot. My mind races a lot though, even when I am sleeping, I need to figure out a way to turn it off or I will never get another rested night. I try so hard to just drift off to sleep without thinking about certain things and yet I dream about it:( How do I make my mind have patience? I guess if I figure that out, I will be able to sleep.
I was thinking how everyone says they are not a game player but then they play games. I know we all do it to a degree but most people try not to hurt another person, then there are huge game players that actually have an agenda to see you hurt. For whatever reason, it's a turn on to them. For me, hurting another person does not bring me joy or happiness. I only want to make people that I care about feel better, feel loved and I don't understand why other people find joy in hurting another person.
Sometimes for a moment, I am not always sure about what I want, it's only because it is not going to be easy to make it happen. Because it will take a little longer, it's hard to stay positive every moment. Most days I succeed and so I guess they out weigh the days that are harder to believe. It has taken me a long time to get to the point that I am at where I finally believe that I deserve what I want.
Well, I have busy day ahead of me, too bad I just couldn't relax all day, then back to work tomorrow. At least it is a short week then off for two more days;)