I wish somehow I could figure out how to make my fantasies become my reality? Any ideas? I am thinking I would do just about anything to have my fantasies become real. The thing that makes me the craziest is that I try not to think about it and then it's right there in my face. Why? why can I not keep my mind free of what I can't stop thinking about.
Today was scary, I was relaxing, taking a break at work and the phone rang and it was the police telling me that someone had called 911 from my home. No one was home, so I got home and then my back door was unlocked. I finally ended up finding the courage to come into my house and search all the closets and rooms. Thankfully no one was here. I thought it might have been my ex, he would love to get back at me some way.
This incident just brought up so much fear that I had, I was sure that I had come through that but I realized it was only buried. I can't stand that he has that kind of power over me, I really need to make sure he is out of my life for good. Not sure how I will do that though :(
Fear is not a great thing to live with, it controls me and I really don't want things to control me. I have to stand up to it and face it head on, I think not knowing makes it worse than it really is. Sometimes the thought is more scary than the truth.
I am going to bed, I have a busy weekend and Monday my sister will be here. I am so excited to see her, it's too bad we live so far away from each other but I do love how close we are as sisters. Off to dream land to think about my fantasies and how to make them my reality ;)