I am just wondering if appreciation even exists any longer, I say this because I feel like I go out of my way to be there for people and what do I get... hmmm.... not much in return. Not that I expect anything as I know that is not why I go out of my way to help people. I really help people because I care about them, I guess I just wanted a little thankfulness and gratefulness.
Instead, I feel like I am a bother when all I want to do is show people how important they are to me, I guess most people don't feel the same way. I wonder if people know how to be honest and truthful even if it hurts? Really it is better to be honest with someone, it's like ripping a band aid off quickly, at least you get it over with. What is the use in prolonging pain? I just haven't figured out why people don't understand that.
Maybe the reason people don't know how to be honest is because when they were, someone who promised that it was okay, was lying. I on the other hand am being extremely honest and I expect honesty back. Instead I am the one being hurt because people are afraid of being honest. Damn it, it makes me crazy... I just want to know where I stand, I just want to know the truth no matter what.
If I knew the truth, maybe I could move on... , maybe I wouldn't be in limbo for the rest of my life. I am beginning to think I should be like almost everyone else and not give a damn, just be in it for myself. Isn't that the way people seem to be? Maybe I should just stop caring... where the hell has it got me? Maybe if I wasn't there for people, they might realize that I have gone out of my way to make their lives better. Then again, maybe they would care less.
I guess I am the one that will have to make the decision, as tough as it will be, I just can't sit by and wait on other people. I just don't want to wait around for other people to make me feel better. I am a good and kind woman, a woman who believes in love, helping and honesty. I just want the same thing in return.