Letting Go Of Self Judgment

A couple of incidents brought this post about, I have been thinking about it for the past year or so off and on but this week it has been at the forefront of my mind. With that it seemed like people were talking about it and writing about it more... I do believe that what you think about you draw to you. Saying that I don't think we draw overwhelming challenges or trials to us as I believe we all have them regardless. Some of us are just better at hiding how they affect us, I am not one of them... I am the girl who wears her heart on her sleeve and doesn't hold back, even if I may be judged for those feelings. 

However; saying all that I am also the girl who self judges all the time, I work so hard at trying not to judge others as I am always reminding myself that I don't know what is going on in their lives. When I was younger, I saw life more in black and white and made judgments against people but as I went through my challenges and gained a deeper understanding that we are all dealing with overwhelming trials, this helped me to judge others less. I often wished that I was one of those girls that could tuck away my feelings and show only the sunny side of life.
 I don't think it is wrong to show the sunny side or positive side of life, very few people want to be the negative person who brings others down. Truthfully, I don't want to be her either but I believe for me, saying how I feel, being my authentic self and showing others that even though I don't always handle my trials in life easily or with a big smile on my face... I still overcome and I never give up. Believe me there have been times I wanted to pack it in and say enough is enough but I know, really know there is a light at the end of the tunnel. 

No matter how difficult a trial is that comes into my life, I know that I will find a way around it... I might take the long path, the bumpy one that adds a few more challenges but deep inside, I don't let that give me a reason to ultimately fail. I used to say if I survived this or survived that, I can survive anything... then a bigger challenge would come. I still believe I can get over the hurdles that are put in my way but I don't think any one trial I came through will get me through to the next one, I think they are all cumulative. 
 What brought this all about is that I have great admiration for people that survive and thrive from incredible trials that I see them struggle with... and I have often judged myself and thought I couldn't get through this or that... I don't have that type of strength... but I think we all have that strength, regardless of what we tell ourselves... and I don't just mean this for trials, I mean this for making changes, living the life we were meant to live

I self judge myself and think who am I do do this or that?  The real question is who am I not to do this or that? If I honestly believe others can attain their dreams, then I can attain mine too.... The choice then is mine and always has been mine, who am I going to listen too... all the people who believe in me or the few people who don't believe in themselves... As a good friend said, no matter what, we are enough, we always have been and we always will be enough.... The only question I really need to answer for myself is who am I to judge myself?
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65 comments :

  1. Awww...I'm sorry you're so hard on yourself. It really is difficult to not be hard on ourselves. I do the same thing. I always wish I were more confident, more outspoken, or stronger (mentally and physically). What has helped me is to tell myself that I love myself and that I'm worth it. I know it probably sounds silly, but I'm used to being so negative with myself that something as simple as complimenting myself boosts my self esteem.

    Love you, Launna! Never forget how amazing you are <3

    xo Azu

    www.raven-locks.blogspot.com

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  2. I'm very guilty of this too Launna. I'm much harder on myself than I need to be. My anxiety stems from "what if", and I always worry that I can't handle something. Yet when difficult things happen, I tend to do better than I thought I would.

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  3. Dear Launna, I think that you have been hard to yourself. However is difficult to change. As time passes by I have become more tolerant to others and also to myself, because I learnt that I was good to people that hurted me. Then, I said, stop. This situation has to change. Now I'm much happier and don't think much about others' opinions. I wish you the happiest Christmas in advance.

    Jasmine ♥♥♥

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  4. Not worry at all Launaa,if life has been hard then we can make oursleves happy by our good will.Just take the things as they come, have a happy time all the way.

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  5. Hello dear:
    I read your post fast because I don't have so many time but I am going to print it and read it in the train. I will comment here again. Answering your comment a white blouse is a great option for that skirt:
    http://enarasthings.blogspot.com/2015/12/total-look.html
    xoxo
    (I have new post if you want to check)

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  6. I agree, people who get through a rough patch and get right back on top of things are very inspiring. It often baffles me where people find the strength to stay so positive and stay so full of hope.

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  7. So sorry, but You Have been hard to yourself.... take it easy and think positive!!!
    Have a Great x-mas week My lovely friend!
    xo Paola
    Expressyourself
    My Facebook

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  8. Overcoming self judgement is a biggie. I struggle with this. When I come up short I tend to beat myself up. Overcoming this habit is essential in becoming who you can be.
    R

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  9. This is a great blog post Launna, and you've raised some really interesting points. I wonder why we find it so hard to let go of self-judgement, and have a hard time letting go of past mistakes. Even though we may have a tendency towards this, the very fact that you're asking these questions, is a step in the right direction. Being positive about ourselves can be hard at first, but like other things, it can become a good habit that starts feeling more natural with time.

    Best wishes,

    Saba x

    www.trulymadlydeeplyfashion.blogspot.com

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  10. This is lovely, Launna! You can really bring out the happy optimism in life...good for you!! I like your raw honesty about how you used to judge others, that your assessments were black and white...no grey area... but then you realized changes and the acceptance of grey areas as you gained more life experience. I think that happens to many of us. And for those that do not gain acceptance and continue being judgemental, are probably not very happy people.

    Thanks for your thoughts!! Have a great week!


    Amber
    All the Cute
    Recent Post: Inner Battle…
    Today’s Post: Pink Shimmer

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  11. Amiga sempre arrasando nas postagem amei, tenha uma
    semana abençoada para você e FELIZ NALTAL.
    Novo vídeo: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0r34Wc33xns
    Blog: http://arrasandonobatomvermelho.blogspot.com.br

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  12. Being friends with yourself is so important.
    As much as I feel crappy...pretty much all the time these days, I am friends with myself and my internal dialogue is not harsh or negative. I am nice to myself.

    It doesn't make life change for the better, but it is still important.

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  13. Loving yourself is the first step. It opens the way to having positive thoughts, and those good thoughts lead to having good things happen. Have a Merry Christmas, Launna!

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  14. Whenever I read ur blog I understand what a strong person u are.. ur experiences & trials have made u into what u are :) being judgemental we all do but as we age we definitely become a bit less bcoz one cannot judge without knowing the truth... I hope u have a lovely Christmas this year... Wishing u Launna and ur family Merry Christmas..♥♥

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  15. hi sweetie have been hard to yourself :)
    great start of week
    fashion blogger
    kiss

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  16. I totally agree on what your friend said, Luanna!
    We are enoug for ourself, and that's all! I think you think too much on things and people: maybe this is your carachter and it is right, but for me it's much more essential be focused on what we are doing righ now and and our goals, judgements and overthinkng are just loss of time!
    But everybody is made in his own way and that's a very interesting and beautiful aspect of the life, so be yourself and don't worry! :)
    Best wishes!:)
    xxx
    S
    http://s-fashion-avenue.blogspot.it

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  17. Don't be so hard for yourself Launna. It's like what you said, sometimes it takes a long path, but everything is going to be alright! Always!

    I wish happy holidays!!

    xoxo
    www.its-dash.com

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  18. your post are always so reflexive. They made me think about my own. Thanks a lot Launna and kisses
    =)
    new post: http://tupersonalshopperviajero.blogspot.com.es/2015/12/4-ways-to-get-amazing-skin-while.html

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  19. Launna, I believe authentic self-love and self-acceptance are the best gifts you can always give yourself. Everybody has their own trials: some get more whilst others go through very little. From the day I accepted my strengths along with my weaknesses; I realized how best I started controlling my life and people in my life. It's definitely not easy, but once you know yourself (in every way) better; you don't have to judge others- rather focus on your areas of improvement and self-development.

    But you are the example of what "being strong and hopeful" looks like. Don't develop anything negative about yourself.
    Wishing you a Merry Christmas and a Great Year ahead!
    xoxo
    Epsita

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  20. Great post, Launna. I think most of the time we judge ourselves more harshly than we do others. It's hard not to be critical of ourselves, but we know ourselves better than anyone else, so we know all of our faults and struggles.

    Wishing you a Merry Christmas!

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  21. We must love ourselves before we can really love others. Another wonderful post, dear Launna. Merry Christmas to you! :)

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  22. Launna, I love your new profile pic. You look beautiful!!! :)

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  23. Beautiful. We need to love ourselves more and not be too highly critical.
    May we remember this at all times especially in the years to come.

    Happy Christmas!

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  24. Self-judgment is a such a stealthy habit to get into. I started a meditation / breathing excercize, and every once in awhile it says to let go of self judgement and I realize, I was just judging myself over something right there in that moment! Its insane, I never even considered myself self critical! - http://www.domesticgeekgirl.com

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  25. Happy Christmas! Hope you are doing great.

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  26. It’s a big step to just be able to look in the mirror and love what/who you see inside an out. That’s a hard one to master. I’ve been there a few times in my adult life and that’s a great start when you want to move up and out from whatever is holding you back.

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  27. Hi launna, ummm.. i know every body has problem and self judgment is not the way for solve the problem. And for judgement other is big no no no.. dont to be hard for yourself dear. Just love our self and and try to love the other. Every thing gonna be allright.

    Happy mothers day launna..

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  28. Hmm...I'm actually the same in this sense, Launna. I'm extremely hard on myself and I get extremely frustrated with myself if I don't do something right or if I don't get things the way I want them to be. Before I met my husband, I don't take compliments at all, I have zero nice things to say about myself and my husband then boyfriend forced me to attend therapy because of it. From there I found out that I had zero self esteem and the way I was extremely critical about myself was stemmed from my childhood, the way I was brought up. It was a long road and many sessions of therapies but I'm in a better place now. Every now and then my mind still goes back to a very dark place but I manage to snap myself out of it.

    No one has the right to judge you and frankly, we sometimes need to cut ourselves a break. We are our own worst enemy but life is already so hard by itself and we need to remember that to come as far as we did, I think we deserve to give ourself a pat in the back every now and then. :-)

    Shireen | Reflection of Sanity

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  29. I hope I don't forget my ancient dreams, since life can be so challenging, you know it well, Launna. Let's try together not to judge ourselves :)))
    Not so easy...
    A big big hug!

    xoxo
    www.bellezzefelici.blogspot.com

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  30. We all judge ourselves in a way, but I think there is a difference in doing so, accepting ourselves, and making changes in the areas we don't see are helpful. I think self awareness is what I like to call it. Yes I do agree that what you think of, you attract! I believe in the power of attraction to the fullest. Have you read The Secret? That book has made and continues to make a positive impact on my life. Great read and mind opening! Have a wonderful Holiday celebration Launna.

    Much Love,
    Tania
    http://inspiremyfancy.blogspot.com/

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  31. Oh Launna... I'm sorry you're so hard on yourself, I think that the self-judgment is a such a stealthy habit to get into.
    Have an adorable week
    Kisses
    Maggie Dallospedale Fashion diary - Fashion blog

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  32. Hi Launna,

    Don't be hard on yourself...where there is will, there is always a way! All the best!

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  33. Please, dont be and have a Great Christmas my dear Launna
    Xxx

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  34. Passando para ti desejar FELIZ NALTAL PARA VOCÊ E FAMÍLIA.
    Novo vídeo: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=44dbnHrYIP4
    Blog: http://arrasandonobatomvermelho.blogspot.com.br/

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  35. What an inspiring post! I think many of us are too hard on ourselves and this is a good reminder to be as forgiving of ourselves as we are towards others. Let's try to be a little easier on ourselves. Try not to be hard on yourself because you are a wonderful person who works hard to overcome the challenges in your way. Wishing you all the best! :)
    ~Jess

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  36. we can be hard on your selves sometimes which is a bad habit. If we are not kind to ourselves then who will? Merry Christmas dear Launna.
    www.effortlesslady.com

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  37. Love the idea this post! Just followed!

    xoxo,
    Natalie
    Trending in Fashion

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  38. Don't worry... everything is going to be all right!!!
    Kisses, Paola.

    Expressyourself

    My Facebook

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  39. I think self judgement is important. And we also need to take other's compliments with a lot of reason. Some people just toss them aroun without any real meaning. I'm not saying it's bad to give kind words to others, but when compliments are not constructive, they might only dazzle us and make us no good.
    But it's always great to find kind words and enlight others day :)
    I hope you have a lovely one.

    xx, Danny

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  40. I remember how my mother used to be about gifts from relatives. I guess that is where it started for me, listening to her frustration of how others gave gifts and what you got. She was never satisfied. So I always felt..I have to give more. I know she'd want me too. This included giving to people I never got anything from. And yes, there was that resentment..that panged me just as much as it probably did her. Recently, a friend told me ..just be that useless friend. Don't even think about what you might get in return. And I know she's right. And well, this year, I feel as if I'm forging on..trying to put on a Christmas dinner, the best I can. And yet..trying not to worry about it either.

    I hope you have a great holiday with your family, friends and loved one! All the best to your writing!

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  41. Obrigada!

    Aquele creme é muito bom.

    Acredito que julgamentos só funcionam quando são positivos! Será que estou errada?

    Ótima quarta, Launna!

    Beijo! ^^

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  42. True Words Launna, i also love the Quotes!

    Merry Christmas and much Love ♡

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  43. You are right. We do no need to judge ourselves. Thank you for making me realize this. I wish you a very happy time for the Holidays and wish that all your dreams come true.

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  44. FELIZ NATAL PARA VOCÊ E FAMÍLIA.
    Canal: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=44dbnHrYIP4
    Blog: http://arrasandonobatomvermelho.blogspot.com.br/

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  45. You really are your worst enemy. Cut yourself some slack! We all know you can do it! Hugs

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  46. I am so guilty of this too but as I get older I am cutting myself more slack. I know I always judge myself way harder then I do others.
    Wishing you a happy Holiday.
    BEAUTETUDE

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  47. That's a problem... we are so pre-occupied judging ourselves, mostly the negative aspects, that we stop just living life.
    We don't have to prove anything to anyone... :)

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  48. I wish you, Launna and your family a lovely happy Christmas :)))
    A big hug!

    xoxo
    www.bellezzefelici.blogspot.com

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  49. Merry Christmasmy lovely friend to you and your family!
    Kisses, Paola.

    Expressyourself

    My Facebook

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  50. I always love your photography
    I wish you a * Merry Christmas *
    fashion blogger
    kiss

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  51. Passando para ti desejar um Feliz Natal
    Cana: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=44dbnHrYIP4
    Blog: http://arrasandonobatomvermelho.blogspot.com.br/

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  52. Exactly, cant judge others and not even ourselves even though it is tempting to compare ourselves to others and compare our old selves with the coming of age/wisdom age that we are growing into. We just have to live one day at a time, working on ourselves and also accepting who we become, in a good way!

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  53. I try not to wear my heart on my sleeves. I have a tendency to dust it off and move on and not dwelling actually helps me pull through a lot of sticky situations. But yes people are quick to judge without knowing the circumstances of others. If only they'd me more sensitive to other peoples feelings, the world would be a better place. You did that when you were younger but youre older and know better. What's that saying- when we know better we do better. Some people know better but still thrive on being very judgemental towards others. I love what your friend said and I believe in it. We are enough, always have, always will. I love that last line. Who am I to judge myself? So true. Merry Christmas Launna.
    http://fashionablyidu.blogspot.com/

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  54. Hi dear, i just wanna say merry christmas to you.. :) and happy weekend

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  55. Hi Launna, thanks for stopping by my blog and I very much appreciated your comment! Like you, I have worked hard to try not to judge others, always keeping in mind we all have our own unique challenges. But I am often very hard on myself; I am my own worse critic. I like the Deepak Chopra quote about discovering the infinite worth in yourself. Something for me to remember. The challenge for me is to keep looking forward because I run into a lot of forks in the road and invariably too often I end up on the unpaved, bumpy long way around. What you wrote about all the trials being cumulative resonates with me. I think you are a really strong person, Launna! This is a great post, very thoughtful. I hope you had a wonderful Christmas and I wish you a very happy and uplifting New Year! xoxo

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  56. I don't judge anyone anymore. OR I should say I do my very best not to do so. Like you said, we're all going through something.

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  57. AND AND AND!! THe whole reason I came over was to say I hope you had a wonderfullly nice holiday!

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  58. This is what I always tell Ritcha, to stop judging and start living!! This is really important for our own happiness too!! :)
    Hope you had a wonderful Christmas Launna!! <3

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  59. Merry Christmas Launna! I hope you are having nice days. xoxo

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  60. I love your new picture ...

    My best wishes to you at this special time of year, and although a little early Happy New Year Wishes to.

    Take Care my blogging friend.

    All the best Jan

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  61. I really love it and amazing information about the recovery it's really good and great information well done.

    ReplyDelete

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