Fantasy and Reality

I wish somehow I could figure out how to make my fantasies become my reality?  Any ideas?  I am thinking I would do just about anything to have my fantasies become real. The thing that makes me the craziest is that I try not to think about it and then it's right there in my face.  Why?  why can I not keep my mind free of what I can't stop thinking about.

Today was scary, I was relaxing, taking a break at work and the phone rang and it was the police telling me that someone had called 911 from my home. No one was home, so I got home and then my back door was unlocked. I finally ended up finding the courage to come into my house and search all the closets and rooms. Thankfully no one was here. I thought it might have been my ex, he would love to get back at me some way.

This incident just brought up so much fear that I had, I was sure that I had come through that but I realized it was only buried. I can't stand that he has that kind of power over me, I really need to make sure he is out of my life for good.  Not sure how I will do that though :( 

Fear is not a great thing to live with, it controls me and I really don't want things to control me. I have to stand up to it and face it head on, I think not knowing makes it worse than it really is. Sometimes the thought is more scary than the truth.

I am going to bed, I have a busy weekend and Monday my sister will be here. I am so excited to see her, it's too bad we live so far away from each other but I do love how close we are as sisters. Off to dream land to think about my fantasies and how to make them my reality ;)

4 comments :

  1. stop slamming your doors, please.

    ReplyDelete
  2. What in the world do you mean, stop slamming my doors?

    ReplyDelete
  3. Stop wearing that shirt. It looks silly on you.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Just kidding!!! I love all of your shirts. Haahahaha :)

    ReplyDelete

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